phoenix666

Member
  • Content count

    1,068
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by phoenix666

  1. The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  2. I am also guilty of this.. I haven't told anyone about PD. I mean, when people see the kind of books I read, it should be pretty obvious and they give me some strange looks and questions why 'I read such stuff'. 3-4 people know about my meditation habit, and even that was very difficult to tell them I don't know why. Maybe I am afraid of their judgement? The only people I can't hide anything from are my parents. and the sometimes say I am 'becoming strange and lonely, cut off from the world' and they also say that I am 'completely brainwashed by that guru' (Leo that is hahaha). I've become a quite lonely wolf over the past two years..
  3. @Outer I don't think the heavy carbs are a problem, as long as they're whole grains. I also make my own pizza, I use whole grains and chickpea flour for it. @nexusoflife absolutely right, the ethical and ecological benefits can be an even stronger motivation to contribute to a better future. A plant based diet is the only sustainable diet for the environment and the health crisis.
  4. if it is astral projection (sounds a lot like it) then it is something rather positive! you can learn a lot by experiencing that. if you're unsure what to do with all of this then I can recommend Koi Fresco, he made a lot of videos about Astral Projection/Lucid dreaming and their benefits. @Emerald has also some informative videos about this topic. I've been trying this Lucid dreaming stuff for weeks, but no success...let alone an out of body experience.. so be glad you managed it without even trying
  5. @RossE It wasn't all fast food, fat and simple sugar.. but if I think back, no wonder I often felt groggy. little to no vegetables and legumes But you're right, most people would already benefit from eating a little more fruit. nothing to thank for, you can always ask me for advice! I'm glad you give it a try. let Dr. Greger help you plan your meals (he has a simple list called 'the daily dozen' where you can organize your meal plan around). Good luck on your vegan journey!
  6. yes, at one point I just had to go with the Do Nothing because everything else became impossible that's a strange experience you had with food, but it doesn't sound that pleasant haha for me eating on the trips was just so amazing! The texture, the smell, the taste were all so intense. I think the shrooms want me to eat more fruits und unprocessed foods. at least, that's how I got the message I got from my culinary shroom experiences
  7. I wanted to experience a change in perception without too much of a mindfuck (which I had strongly during my first two shroom trips), so I decided to experiment with a low dose. I drank a hibiscus tea with ginger, since that’s supposed to prevent eventual nausea, with 2g of dried psilocybe cubensis. Although I expected the trip to be less intense than my first two, I was not quite prepared for it to be that different. My first two experiences where like a roller-coaster. It was a an emotional up and down from blank panic to profound bliss (at some points they even merged together). I had lost all my past and identity. I couldn’t remember who I was, but at the same time feeling very present and aware. This trip had nothing with me pacing around talking to myself like a complete psycho, as I knew it from my past experiences. I was lying on my bed meditating as I waited for the onset. I noticed exactly when the effects began. it was from one second to the other: suddenly I couldn’t do the labeling anymore. It was just impossible because ‚hearing‘ and ‚seeing‘ merged. I just wasn’t able to separate them from each other. Then ‚feeling‘ joined them. After some moments of very strong closed eye hallucinations (mostly fast moving geometrical patterns with neon colors), they stilled and I turned back to normal labeling. Then it became impossible again and the cycle began once more. That went on like this for like 10-20 times more, varying in duration. After a while I felt getting more and more lost in the patterns (like tunnels) and I had to give up the labeling. I tried focusing on my breath, but I had to give up that as well. So I decided to surrender and to follow my visual sense, focusing my awareness on the colorful patterns. Now, this is where it gets very difficult to put into words…but I’ll try it. After a while I felt like I was floating through concepts in my mind. like every thought that came up became plastic: the thoughts materialized in front of my eyes (they looked like grey, sharp stalagmites and stalagtites shooting out of every direction from an orange background. I just floated through that orange thing with sort grey rays coming towards me and I left them behind rapidly. Sometimes I would catch a more detailed glimpse on those thoughts and something inside of me would react like ‚wtf, this can’t be. what the heck is this? now, this can’t be real‘ (I can’t recall the exact content now, but I think most of them related to friends and people I know). Then this strange thing happened like 5-10 times: I suddenly identified with one of my friends (often from the past). I literally felt like I was him/her. and then I thought: ‚wait, no! this can’t be me. this is my friend, so I must be someone else‘ then an excited: ‚well, who am I then?‘ and I actually didn’t know. not figuratively, but quite literally: I couldn’t recall my name. I couldn’t recall my face or my personal history. But it didn’t terrify me. Neither did I feel euphoria or bliss. I was just generally curious. I continued asking myself ‚who am I?‘. shortly after that either my name, my personal history or the image of my face would return to my mind. I always felt a little disappointed afterwards. This trance eventually stopped and I felt hungry. I ate some fruits I had previously prepared for the trip. (eating whilst tripping I can only describe as a great delight: it tasted so sweet and fresh, I felt myself getting completely lost in that sweet moment) Then the trip became weaker and I tried to do some more meditation. I tried the ‚do nothing‘ technique and it felt amazing. sounds, but mostly visuals and feelings floated by and I just felt very distant from them, glossing over them with something I could only describe as curiosity and a mild amusement. I am not quite sure what to make out of this trip. It was just so different from what I expected (less emotional, less mindfuck and more of a calm state of flow) I hope I can elaborate this stuff the following days and integrate some of the experiences into my daily life. I still have to wrap my head around what the shrooms were trying to tell/show me. Thanks for bearing with me if you came so far. :-)
  8. we should create a map with our standpoints, so we can see where all these people on the forum come from
  9. yes, it changed my life even more than meditation. because it just draws in so many aspects of my journey: my health, a compassionate life, a sustainable diet that helps the planet, my spiritual journey and my life purpose. my diet was not the worst of the worst (no fast food, no fizzy drinks), but still very crappy. a lot of fish, meat at least once a day, milk and cheese also every day. refined carbs and oil. the only thing I did right was eating a lot of fruits. now I changed to fruits, vegetables, whole grains (starchy food) and legumes. also a small amount of nuts and seeds. I'm feeling great since then! I never got sick in the last 18 months and I also solved some issues I had with digestion. I also stay away from alcohol since march. some months ago I did a blood test (I've been a little anemic my whole life and I was afraid of poor iron levels) and for the first time in my life I had optimal iron levels. they've never been so high. My blood pressure and LDL decreased, HDL increased. Even my parent's blood tests improved, even if they just follow like 60% of my advice yes, you have to supplement B12 as a vegan. (everyone should supplement B12 after the age of 40/50). as a vegan you have to start supplementing earlier. I take a daily sublingual supplement. I also supplement a vegan Vitamin D from november - february, when there is no sun around
  10. I switched to a plant based diet 18 months ago and it was the best decision of my entire life. it changed me on so many levels, also in terms of how I relate to the planet and other living beings. I lost some weight (not much, since I didn't want to). my physical performance has improved, I noticed it with running, cycling and general fitness. I have more energy, clearer skin. I don't suffer from postprandial sleepiness anymore. I can recommend Dr. Greger's website https://nutritionfacts.org. and his book 'how not to die' if you do your research (on Pubmed you can find a lot of studies) you'll find that a plant based diet can prevent, treat and even reverse some of our top killer diseases in western world (Heart disease, cancer, dementia, diabetes, IBD, autoimmune diseases..)
  11. Isn't this is one of the biggest paradoxes of enlightenment work? I guess it can only be understood the moment you awaken - until then you need the theory. I think knowledge and theories are like a latter you use to climb to the top. once you're there, you don't cling to it and can free yourself from it. that is, you can still make use of it, but you don't need it like a baby-blanket. I don't know if my point came across though some stuff is just so hard to put into words
  12. I've been meditating consistently for two years now. Two weeks ago I committed to more meditation and I started doing more or less an hour a day (sometimes split in 3x20 minutes). I noticed that I now remember multiple dreams, whereas before I only remembered one dream per night (or even none). I also experience them more vividly and remember more details. Is there a connection between meditation and dreaming? Why is that so, does anyone have an explanation? did anyone experience the same change?
  13. @Delinkaaaa I actually became lucid once: but I wouldn't describe it as lucid dreaming, since I woke up like 3-5 seconds after I realized that I was dreaming. I became aware of my dreaming state because I was not at my current place, but at my old one. So suddenly I felt like 'wtf, didn't I move away from here 9 months ago?? oh fuck, I'm dreaming'. then I wanted to explore my dreaming-world.....got excited...my pulse accelerated and I woke up. this happened some months ago. But it was exactly as you said, I recognized that the place I was at. couldn't be reality. I will go on with my meditation and the dream diary. Let's hope for some LD soon
  14. @RossE Koi seems to be quite pleased by it
  15. @Delinkaaaa so the more I raise my awareness with meditation, the easier it will be to become aware of the dreaming state and become lucid? yes, I've been writing a dream diary for the last 3 months in order to learn lucid dreaming, but no such luck yet. thanks for the recommendation, I will check it out
  16. @abrakamowse wow, thanks for sharing your perspective. I feel very motivated right now. I've just been out for a walk and getting some studying work done outside in the sun and I really felt a shift in my perception: without even having set the intention, I noticed my mind doing the labeling! I was able to graze over perceptions, thoughts and feelings; it's hard to describe, but it felt like they were floating by. (Usually it's more like they take me with them and I dig myself deeper into them without even realizing it). I felt very light. uff haha it's hard to describe I didn't expect such a fast impact, I just started like a little more than a week ago with the labeling technique. I didn't expect it to go so fast with the establishing of new thought/brain patterns.
  17. I've now committed to a daily mindfulness meditation, using the labeling technique. during a session a couple of days ago I felt some serious doubts come up. Isn't labeling itself the root cause of my problem? Isn't it the exact definition of categorizing, dividing reality into separate 'things'? Isn't seeing reality in its wholeness the way to awakening?
  18. Seems to make some kind of sense to me. It's like I can understand what you want to say logically, but I still need to get there experientially. So through this exercise I should slowly learn how to detach from 'my' mind, right? I already notice that as soon as I catch a thought, image or a sound and label it, a certain kind of distance between 'me' (the observer) and the perception arises. thank you very much for your help!
  19. @see_on_see I already noticed myself labeling one or two random thoughts 'hearing' outside of a meditation session. It happened whilst I was walking to college. It made me very aware for a couple of seconds. then I fell back into my stream of thoughts. I guess I just have to go on exercising. @dice Whenever I smell or taste anything I label it 'feeling'. @Visionary it already happened once or twice that I felt something (can't remember what) and it was like all senses fused into one huge feeling inside of me. it confused me, but it was also pleasant. @AlwaysBeNice should I try to focus my awareness on the 'feeling' more than on 'hearing' and 'seeing'? It's difficult, they sometimes seem to warp and melt into each other Thank you guys for your help and motivation
  20. @RossE I'm looking forward to some serious meditation Yes, it also happens during meditation. Random thoughts about stuff I thought I had forgotten long time ago come up. It probably means it's working, whatever 'it' is.
  21. @Leo Gura hahaha thanks for the vivid motivation. It's probably just my mind trying to come up with lazy excuses. I'll do it.
  22. @AstralProjection I got interested in lucid dreaming and astral projection through Koi Fresco. I believe that it can be an extremely good tool for going inward too. Dreams and the stuff you see whilst astro projecting is pretty much a projection of you own mind. So it's perfect for looking into your own subconscious. I'm looking forward to learning more about all of that. yeah, being busy with college and college interfering with inner work...I know that! happens to me all the time.. we'll have to be patient. let us know about your progress on astral projection good luck with it!
  23. Don't you ever get stuck in the sky...when you're high. - Serj Tankian Don't get too caught up in whatever thoughts that come up. That can quite freak you out. On my second trip I completely underestimated the shrooms and they threw me into something I can only describe as a very crazy reality. I got stuck into it because it felt so real. It felt like it would last forever and I believed it. The key is to not identify with your thoughts, don't cling to them. Try to detach from them, just observe them and let them pass. Pretty much like when you're meditating. Have fun
  24. @AstralProjection did you already manage to astro-project? I've tried it for a couple of weeks last summer..no chance. But it's something I definitively want to experience at some point that's great, I'm looking forward to even more intense dreams with meditation and psychedelics. I've been trying to lucid dream for a long time...I still haven't managed that. But this time I will be more patient. my plan is to first work on lucid dreaming. and if that works out I can go on with trying astral projection. baby steps. for now I'll just enjoy my vivid dreams and I'll hopefully manage to become lucid soon.
  25. @RossE so it seems I'm not the only one. 25 hours? that's a lot, I'm planning a retreat this summer, hopefully I can do some very deep meditation work there. That's what I was thinking as well. Leo said in one of his videos that meditation is like psychotherapy - working through stuff of your past. the difference is, that in psychotherapy it happens on a conscious and during meditation on an unconscious way. I also noticed a lot of stuff attached to my past in my last dreams: my ex, a best friend I had in junior-high... a lot of things which where very important and present at one point in my life and I hadn't been thinking about that stuff for such a long time. so it caught me by surprise to suddenly see them in my dreams. that could be interesting