phoenix666

@solr that resonates with me a lot. specially the part about much of my devilry coming from my need for security (I'm a student myself), but also for love and success. @Leo Gura I've been dismissing chakras as new age stuff for a long time. but the more I practice yoga and meditation, the more I come into contact with things like that. I've been opening my mind to it more and more. what is your experience with chakras (if you want to share?) and how can I work on my heart chakra?

hahah, you're right, fuck it. let's become sages. love that! how is your journey going? <3

it really is a paradox. I've been working on enlightenment and inner stuff so much in the last months. caring less and less about university. just trying to become a better version of myself every day. more loving, more passionate. doing things with my heart, less with my mind. the paradox is, I've been quite successful lately. exams done, work done, projects rolling. wow, like in a flow. today I got such a wonderful compliment. another student thanked me for being so passionate, helping and caring at work. it was beautiful! it's cause I love it, I've put my heart into it and she felt it! wonderful! It doesn't even feel like it was me doing all of this. it just happened. it just flew through me. thank you, all of you who inspired me on this path <3

I meditated right after watching the video this morning. it was one of the best sessions I've had so far. not that it was an easy sitting, I felt lots of energy and it was quite hard to stay there. my mind wasn't very quiet either. but I was so inspired that I came back to the observer again and again. as if going beyond my mind and then towards the end it felt like something cracked open and I saw Leo's smile. the uninhibited, crazy, authentic smile he had in the video. I felt so happy for him and then I had to cry thanks for sharing this with us @Leo Gura <3 the power lies in its authenticity <3

@Shamrock <3 this is powerful! I'm glad for you! I notice more and more how much social interaction, connection and energy from other people influences my mood, mind and generally my level of consciousness.

neither could I. if I got it correctly, it will eventually stop itself, the key is being aware of it

@LaucherJunge I came across shadow work repeatedly, but never made a serious effort to really look into it. I guess it will be my next concrete step.. thank you <3

I did expect something like this to happen. I just expected another form of backlash. it is better than expected: no going back to harmful old habits, no gross addictions. but it's also worse than expected because it's more subtle. more sneaky. devil's at work! and he is deceptive. this time ego came back full force. with socializing, work, studying. all things that are seemingly 'good'. no harm in hard work, right? no, nothing bad, it's completely ok. but distracting nonetheless. what am I craving? love, trust, friendship, intimacy, attention, success, admiration. nothing wrong with all of that. just becoming aware of all those mechanisms. sneaky

@LaucherJunge how did you truly discover self love? I've already gone a long way, I stopped hating myself and almost stopped judging myself. I started accepting myself more. but there are still parts of myself I can't seem to love.

noticed that as well. we have to see through it! he even mentions it in the video. right now we live in an illusion, we live a lie because we are afraid of being authentic. afraid of what will happen with our future, our family, our job/uni, our friends. ultimately, afraid of judgement. of being called crazy. but the good thing is, we start to become aware of it. we become aware of our mind and it's deceptive nature

wonderful insight. I felt it click right when I read it, do you know that feeling? I'm very attached to hope. I've been living on hope for so long... hoping to find love and happiness. but how do I detach from hope?

wow, it actually made me cry. I could feel it through the screen. I feel so much, excitement, joy, faith. also jealousy and fear. actually dying, going through an awakening and grabbing a camera for us to follow hahaha lovin'it! I'm so happy for you Leo! I love the way you smiled throughout the video. this is what we live for. <3 I wonder how you're gonna integrate all of this... I wish you all the best <3

where is the 'up button' when we most need it? great post! @Monkey-man I know what you're talking about. I experience it as well, every time I get a small breakthrough, I slack off the path for a bit. I'm experiencing it right now. it's subtle, but noticeable nonetheless. I think @Torkys 's advice is gold here. it's already great that we notice the ego backlash. as long as we notice, we're not completely gone we need to stay aware, observe our ego trying to weasel it's way out.

I loved it as well <3 a touching story! a courageous boy following his intuition and reaching for his dreams! he is one of those heroes ending up where he started from if I remember correctly..

wow, that deep with only 2g! holy moly thanks for sharing your experience, I love the way you wrote it, wonderful poem. I especially loved the part with the opposites unified. I keep bumping into that phenomenon on my journey <3

I think I get it. and it is probably the last layer to take off before absolute nothingness. but that's at a very advanced state. before you get there, you have to replace career, relationship, money, partying and that stuff with spirituality, seeking, meditating, self inquiry, journaling and such things. I don't think I'm at that point yet. and I think that's why Leo keeps saying that this stuff is such hard work. because many people jump off and 'stop seeking' too soon, when they're still stuck in a 'low consciousness' life

@DocHoliday it is true, I often think that I know too much now. things that can't be unknown. I sometimes fall off the path for a couple of days, but lately I find less and less pleasure in 'low consciousness' things. things I used to live for, things I tried to find happiness in, now appear shallow. like I can see through them.

this discussion reminds me of there is no path nut only a fool doesn't walk it. it's exactly about this paradox, isn't it? it's confusing for me when teachers say to 'stop seeking'. I get where they come from. the cycle closes, we end at the beginning, we are already there. but there is a whole world in-between that realization. if I 'stop seeking' I'd just slip back into my old life. living in a hamster wheel, running from one short term pleasure to another, stuck in career, money, competition, partying..

@Mighty Mouse is it an illusion? maybe the romanticized kind of love that we've been introduced to from culture. but true, unconditional love an illusion? or the only thing there is

I think that's the difference between knowing and embodying something? there are layers to understanding and knowing

distractions, distractions.. fantasies taking me away. giving my ego a sense of importance, purpose. giving it the feeling of being loved. that's what I want: love. I can only find it in myself. this is the moment where I need to turn inwards. again.

just from reading I got that feeling.. it's between the lines. you know what I mean. and you already know. the answer is in the feeling.. I know it's hard to get there, but once it's done, it's done. and you will be free, on the path towards your true self <3 I wish you all the best!

my domains of mastery for now: becoming a surgeon specifically, healing in general. helping people to find happiness and health. furthermore I would like to work towards becoming a sage (I know it's a bit unrealistic.. but a strong vision is gold) and there is no goal, only the path itself. so I would like to follow Leo on his 'sage university' and other inspirational teachers to master meditation, happiness, love and compassion. I've always wanted to become a doctor, I don't even remember when it started and why. it just feels right. and Leo and psychedelics brought me into spirituality it's nice to hear about all your dreams and life purpose! <3 great topic, inspirational!

I still have such a strong desire for love. what is love? I'm strongly shaped by my culture. movies, books, TV series have indoctrinated me. a part of me knows that the kind of love they propose, is just codependency. nonetheless, I still haven't transcended the need for something like that. someone who loves me, desires me, cares for me, listens to me, opens up to me, trusts me. someone to talk to, someone to cuddle with, to share my deepest secrets with. someone to get to know deeper and deeper. someone to become one with. I really desire that. it's the one thing that distracts me the most from consciousness work. why? why do I look for love? that is not the problem, the problem is that I look in the wrong place. no such thing found outside. I probably look for someone to love me because I the love I feel for myself is not enough. I don't hate myself anymore, I accept myself more and more and it's beautiful. I almost stopped criticizing and judging other people as well in the process. the judgement is decreasing, acceptance is growing. but this newly developed love seems to not be strong enough. not yet. I need to cultivate more self love. but there is time for that. I am sure it will happen at the right time. where I am at is exactly where I am supposed to be. with a little patience my love will grow. I want to see the love in everything and every action. in myself and in others. I am thinking about trying MDMA. maybe that could help me with this issue. but I won't actively look for it. if it's meant to happen, it will. if I get the opportunity, I'll jump into it.

@Max_V I've always loved it because of all the emotion in screaming. it cracks something open, makes vulnerable. thinking about death has a similar effect. makes me conscious of my fragility. that is empowering in a very beautiful, paradoxical way <3