phoenix666

@Zigzag Idiot and what consists a such vulcan being? what do you think about humans, as a vulcan being? thanks, zigzag, my pleasure. I may contemplate some more about this vision and complete my thoughts and feelings about it in later posts in my journal. I got the idea from the book "The Magnum Opus" by John Kreiter. it was quite intriguing, that's why included it in my journal here. it is true, once you get some glimpses of Truth, you may stop laughing for a while.. I've experienced that. the world is so full of cruelty and hatred...when it could actually be all love and divinity. as I encountered God the first couple of times, it made me so sad that almost no one I know will ever experience divine Love in this lifetime.. probably when they die. such a pity.. encountering God during lifetime is much better.. but slowly I start to see love and beauty in everything. that's the highest art. I actually laugh and love more than ever before that's the best way to encounter negativity, I think..

@Zigzag Idiot I can feel it in my heart too what would you think and feel about humans as an alien? a spiritually advanced alien who encounters planet earth and its inhabitants for the first time?

a vision: I am an alien, encountering earth and humans for the first time what the hell are these creatures doing? no judgement here, this concept is foreign to me. just observing, sheer curiosity. I accept all parts of reality. for me, there is no good and no bad, only Good. everything just IS. these humans seem deeply engulfed in self constructed prisons. actual prisons: money, work, survival, rat-race, confrontations, wars, debates. they all stem from mental prisons, which in time materialized and have now become actual barriers and threats to them strange way to live life they have. caught in small little constellations of something they call "family", where they effectively pass on all their barriers and beliefs to their offspring. all divided in small little bubbles. sometimes they gather in bigger bubbles. those bubbles fight and debate. but what do they actually know? in the most developed societies beliefs are based on something they call "science". in less developed ones, they foliow "truths" provided from something like "religion" they mistake the relative for the absolute they actually think money and value/worth is a thing their perception is limited and caught in survival and reproduction. sometimes this is clothed in wealth and something they call "career" their ability to love is limited to humans inside their little bubbles. the smaller the bubble, the more they love or are attached. the bigger the bubble, the more shallow becomes the love. it eventually turns into hate for distant and contradictory bubbles they fight over opinions and possession. what is actually possession? strange things they invent. interesting those humans. I see big potential, but little actualization of that. millions of seeds, almost no full grown trees.

I deeply agree with you, @Serotoninluv and @Matt8800 from my own experience with meditation, yoga and tripping: I seriously started practicing daily after a deep psychedelic experience, which opened my door to spirituality and to my "inner" world I asked myself "what is actually a psychedelic?" repeatedly whilst tripping and I got some very fulfilling answer in form of intuition and pictures I can't quite put into words. they revealed themselves as a kind of wormhole, like a portal inside of reality which can profoundly unravel all of existence to the point where everything dissolves: barriers, beliefs, concepts, language, thought. and as a consequence of all that, everything becomes one but really, psychedelics can't show you anything which is not already inside of you. it's all in you; it's just hidden under a veil of concepts and beliefs. the psychedelic experience really is just the dissolution of that fog, that veil which separates us from unity and divine love, divine everything we can't really separate psychedelics from "us", from our experiences, from reality. they're part of reality and thus part of ourselves (as we are all of reality) "becoming enlightened just by psychedelics" thus doesn't exist in my opinion

I feel like I'm getting lost in day-to-day life again. but it's ok, I don't freak out about it like the last few times. maybe I need a little backlash once in a while. Whilst yoga, meditation and trips are getting better, I struggle to remain aware throughout the day. and that's the most important thing but it really is ok, everything is perfect as it is. I am aware of that limitation and just that should help me

whatever arises in Kriya Yoga after poise, be the observing witness. no judging, no getting lost in it. just mindful observing. I've found that works best for me. Santata Gamana's book are gold :3 I've found new possibilities and passion for work again, I can deepen that. I won't find fulfillment in work, I know. I can only find fulfillment in my Self.. but nonetheless I want to do something were I can really get the feeling that I can help people out. I'd like to get some gratification from my job. I think I'm on the right path. I know I can't follow anyone. I have my own path, like everyone else has. time to step out of everything I know from others. time to find my Self and my path <3

you're lovely, octagon octopus

I took 60-70 microgram of acid with my beloved one and it was one of the best experiences we've ever had. I've already had a couple of awakenings, but this was my deepest one and it took me by surprise, as I only took a relatively small dose of acid. we're already pretty experienced at tripping together, so we are very in tune with each other. I can recommend tripping with your beloved one, as it can take connection to an incredible level and you can drag each other deeper (just make sure you absolutely trust one another) <3 so it started with the ayahuasca patterns the shipibo folk talk about: we saw them appearing on our bodies, later we saw them shimmering on every surface. we saw energy flowing from our hands, illuminating the whole room. we were lying face to face and then suddenly I got dragged inside the aya patterns (not the first time, it already happened in my last yagé experience) it felt like being dragged through a giant meat grinder, my body being cut into countless slices and put together again. like dying and being born, again and again. it actually was so, so effortless: I kept in mind Leo's last video about letting go and that's exactly what I did. I let go of everything. I let go of every theory I've heard and read about, every idea, every belief. it was so effortless, it didn't even feel like dying. it felt more like a heavenly dissolving of 'me' it was all very clear and controllable. my mind and ego completely dissolved and yet I perceived everything as sharp and clear. the boundaries between 'me' and her completely dissolved. also between 'me' and everything else. I was catapulted into infinity in infinite direction. I experienced infinite infinities in every infinity. the only thing in my mind was: oh my god, this is it, it's infinite! and it's all love I have that desire to share enlightenment with others, to help people awaken. and I could clearly feel that that desire comes straight from my heart. it comes from a place of love. I could feel that love is the whole purpose, the purpose of life and ultimately of enlightenment. if an awakening experience does not culminate in love, than it's not the Absolute. the nature of it is infinite, that means infinite love I wanted to share that with my beloved so badly, that my heart cracked open (I've never felt so much love in my life) and I concentrated on that, on pure love. then I perceived myself as an empty vessel, though which divine energy flows through and I sent it to her. thats when she started having the exact same experience as me (it was her first encounter with god, non-duality and divine love) and it brought her to tears. it was so, so beautiful to see. her words were oh my god, oh my god. that's when I knew, she's there. and when I knew: I can. I can be a vessel of divinity and love, if my desire comes from a pure, heartfelt space we were the entire universe and expanded into infinite infinities, until we reached a point were we opened our eyes, looking at each other: we communicated telepathically and felt like we were 'outside' existence (I don't really know what that means yet): we saw each other as Shiva and Shakti, two gods giving birth to existence. we held our hands and felt like we were merging together. it was like making cosmic love to each other and creating all life and the entire existence in the process. it felt like we were creating the origin of everything. and the origin of all creation is love, pure, unconditional love it was magic, absolutely incredible <3 my conclusions are: love is the highest. I don't actually care about insights and awakenings if they don't culminate in love anymore. and I want to share my experiences. what shall I do with all of this, if I can't share it? I hope it can inspire some of you guys :3 thanks to Leo and all of you on this forum. I wouldn't be here where I am right now without you. I am so grateful <3

@Waken glad you liked it, with joy <3

beautiful read <3 thanks for sharing, Leo! reminds me a lot of Martin Ball's book Being infinite and of what was revealed to me in my last trips. I can feel the Truth of your words when reading them <3

Santata Gamanas books resonate deeply with me. I'll stick to his Kriya methods. His version seems simpler, more natural and sweeter. he's right about complex techniques becoming too much of a struggle and the danger of doing them mechanically. the techniques are not the goal, they're a tool. melting into God, into pure awareness is the goal. I feel like Kriya has helped me a lot, I'll continue practicing. I'll try to do so daily, but I won't judge myself and feel guilty when I miss a day or two. keep it simple, keep it natural, keep it sweet and light. in the end, I let reality unfold. whatever it will bring, I'll work with that and I trust in the process.

@Robobotas the techniques you're looking for are described in his first book 'kriya yoga exposed'. he also recommends Ennio Nimis online book for the techniques. I hope this can help you

@Nahm thans for your sweet words, as always, Nahm <3 thanks from my heart, @Fishy <3

powerful stuff, I actually think that low doses are far more effective for transmuting and integrating experiences into daily life. at the end, that's all that matters. embodying is the key oh, we didn't actually have sex, it was our souls and consciousness merging and becoming one, it was cosmic love thanks Leo, now it's time to integrate that love. thank you so much, you changed my life forever and I'd never go back

I think the best way to heal and transmit divine love, is to become a vessel were divinity can flow through

yeah, that's what blew my mind too I usually need pretty low doses of any psychedelic, specially since I started doing Kriya.. but this was just...WOW, yeah! thanks, Chi

psychedelics actually increase neurogenesis and neuroplasticity by inducing NGF (neuronal growth factor). it helps building new synapses between neurons and some parts of the brain (like the hippocampus and the corpus callosum) even increase in size after repeated use of psychedelics. that's all backed up by science. so I think the opposite is actually true for psychedelics in general I guess it depends on dosage, frequency, intention and integration If done carefully and with the right mindset and preparation they're quite beneficial

what is my intention? it's my compass when lost in the sea. but whatever it is, god (reality) will give me exactly what I need. not less, not more. it's all just here to crack me open; my heart, my consciousness I only know one thing: my highest value has become love. love is now more important than insight to me. that's a step in the right direction. god, teach me self love, so that I can love everything and everyone

where does my desire to heal come from? I know that I started my studies from a very narrow, egoic perspective? I think I've purified myself from that. I'm no longer driven by the need to know. I'm driven by the genuine desire to help and heal people. I know that in order to heal others, I need to heal myself. I'm focusing on that. my desire is coming from a heartfelt place of love and genuine benevolence for every being. it feels true and loving to me

wow, wonderful insight! in German too.. I'd have never noticed. nice food for thought

to become a vessel of unconditional love, I must empty myself to let the divine light shine through me, I have to surrender and dissolve myself

sounds like progress, dear zigzag thanks for sharing your experience with me, means much to me. you're right, no judging, just observing and becoming aware of things, thoughts and patterns should be the real deal. quite difficult to do...but I guess we'll keep failing and falling until we can love ourselves for it <3

I slipped away, again what the fuck am I doing? here I am again, fighting problems I thought long solved. but it's okay. maybe that's exactly why... here I am doing all of that BS... but even worse, here I am judging myself for it. that's the real problem, actually. maybe that's why I keep making the same mistakes again and again. until I stop judging. until I can fully accept, love unconditionally. let's try that

<3 your words always go straight into my heart Pluto

what would I do if I had little time left to live? if I had 1 year left? I always thought I'd indulge in drugs, immediate pleasure, decadence.. recently I seriously considered. reconsidered. maybe I'd just meditate. throw myself knee-deep in spirituality. yoga, meditation, mindfulness, studying 24/7 hmm. what does that say about me? about how I should live from day to day?