phoenix666

<3 thank you!

@zenjen I resonate a lot with what you wrote there. you're not alone in this. <3 be gentle with yourself <3

surrender and letting go of attachments. I keep forgetting that, fighting for control. some day it will click and surrender will become effortless and permanent for me too I guess. thanks for patiently answering all our questions <3 I'm happy for you! that's where your life actually begins....I'm excited! <3

this is very comforting, where is the quote from? the bible? it fluctuates, sometimes I feel like everything is helping me to wake up, sometimes it just feels like a big, endless struggle no one else around me seems to deal with. it's confusing. maybe that's exactly my next step though? embracing confusion, paradox and chaos

@cetus56 I'll try to feel into that emptiness next time it shows up. thank you <3 @Faceless maybe everyone has different portals at different moments in their life? my portal now is probably very different from the portal I'd have say one year ago.. think with your whole body. I like that! <3 thank you guys, you're a huge inspiration!

that would be wonderful how come that so many people seem to be on the path and only a small part of them wakes up? @egoless did you deliberately start looking for signs of the universe or did they appear unwillingly/spontaneously? I wonder whether I'd see them too if I started looking for them....but people also keep saying to 'not force' 'not search' (that's all I'm doing anyway) sometimes this stuff just confuses the shit out of me.

I resonate a lot with this. being worthy through knowledge/wisdom/being smart. and that constant need for approval and validation.. what helped me a lot is just this whole process of becoming aware of it. awareness alone is curative I wrote this whole stuff down. that's usually very effective. also becoming conscious of those mechanisms while they're happening. that's tricky though. I usually forget and notice it afterwards this wish of being worthy and need for approval are deep wounds. we shouldn't judge and punish ourselves for them. (I did that in the past) Teal Swan has some good videos about those emotional needs/wounds that helped me along the way <3

what if there is nothing in particular? or if I've always been drawn to many things? I've always had the feeling of not being part of anything. or in other words, that I could be part of anything. I sometimes feel I could find passion in everything....but nothing sticks out particularly.

do it in a place where you feel safe and keep reminding yourself to fully surrender to everything that comes up. wherever the trip takes you, embrace that. (not as easy as it sounds, I keep forgetting it) I wish you a wonderful experience! don't forget to post your trip report

this. <3 how did you get there? if I identify the judgements I have towards others (and myself) and I try to see the benevolent force behind them, will 'good' and 'bad' merge and collapse? is that one portal to non-duality?

@How to be wise thank you, I'll check her work out. I may include 'Loving What Is' in my next big books-ordering seems like she's awaken from some quotes I read on the PDF..

I thought Kriya was even more powerful because it's not just working on awakening the mind, but also the body? @How to be wise anyway, this sounds like a very interesting practice. can you describe how you do this work practically, in daily life? I found some questions regarding 'the work'. how do you use them? do you write your answers down? or do you just meditate/contemplate on them? thank you for sharing <3

true! I just trust that one day it will become my second nature. not something I have to do, but the single most beautiful option there is, being. it fluctuates, there are days where I enjoy it so much I'd want to meditate all day. other days I get lost in work and being busy, and I feel resistance to go, leave everything and just sit on the cushion. being is something we have to cultivate I wish you all the best with your practice <3

what is yours, Nahm? love?

oh, hahah I see, it's one of those paradoxes right before our eyes. we're just too unaware and unconscious to see it. do you know what yours is? how did you discover it?

@cetus56 how can one discover their portal?

@PsiloPutty repeating the 1st and 6th seems quite logic, yeah I think I've already missed the one or other Om in my young life, yes hahah let's make up for missed oms

@tsuki that resonates with me, specially and the trust in early authority figures, whom we take all those beliefs from. they construct our reality. and our ego. from a logical standpoint I can definitively say that I identify with a persona I constructed unconsciously, based on the feedback I got from my environment whilst growing up. I still have to fully grasp the significance of that. it means that the self is just a projection/illusion and that there is no actual self. my mind seems to grasp it, but only on an intellectual level for now..

@Leo Gura I get your point and I agree about enlightenment being 'only' realizing what reality is. I'm just curious if I understood the process of becoming a sage - which I guess most of us are working on here. in my understanding becoming a sage is integrating awakening experiences into daily life, together with emotional mastery and cultivating love, wisdom and compassion. that's why things like 'the work', Matt Kahn's teachings and many more are so precious. at least for me, I do not 'only' want to awaken, but I want many facets of spirituality to become integrated in my life. is that what you define as 'sage hood' as well? and is becoming enlightened without integrating all that other parts what you define as becoming a zen devil?

I wondered about that as well. up until now I managed to at least keep my meditation practice. yoga is more tricky I'll spend a couple of weeks abroad this summer. I also intend to do Kriya at least once a day in the morning. and meditation in the evening. let's see how that goes though

@lobster I do 1st chakra, 2-5 th chakra, medulla, pause (try to re-focus on medulla whilst looking at Bhrumadhya), medulla, 5 - 1st chakra, pause. then I start with 1st chakra again. so I repeat muladhara too I use the short break to re-focus on medulla and Bhrumadhya

the instructions confuse me as well. they're not as clear as they could be. I wonder why he wrote some of it so wishy washy. when I encounter confusion in my Kriya practice I usually just do it and trust in what he says about that inner guide that is supposed to slowly appear. I'm far from feeling that inner guide.. but sometimes, when I surrender to all that confusion and just do it, I feel my body and mind relaxing and sinking into the practice. then it feels like the practice is happening on its own

very beautiful insight took some weight off my heart! @Mikael89 look deeper? I can only speak for myself. but when I close my eyes and ask what I want in life, maybe the first answer would be 'Truth' but then, when I close my eyes, I feel that I can go deeper. why do I want Truth? because I think it will ultimately bring me love and happiness. I can actually say that I want many things.. Truth, wisdom, healing capacities, passion, big picture understanding, to become a sage, self-love... but ultimately it comes down to that one thing: why do I want all those things? because I think they would make me happy. so that's what I really want

@Max_V exactly what I meant, thanks for expressing it so nicely, I feel you! maybe one day it will become our second nature, so that everything else becomes a distraction from just sitting there and being. let's be gentle and loving towards ourselves until we eventually get there <3

@Prabhaker I had a few, I had a few. didn't fulfill me either, so I don't know why that phantasy is still haunting me. I think it's my deep rooted beliefs about love and romanticism. all those thing I've read in books and seen on TV..