phoenix666

no one ever made me feel more me like you did. you made me feel so myself, that I actually felt like I've really, really known myself, my soul my essence. and I actually love myself in that state. you also made me hate myself codependency, I know.. but who cares, I had to go through that to really become aware of that pattern and I actually started loving myself also in those situations I'd usually hate myself. thank you for that maybe that's my way of learning how to love myself we need that mirrors to see our reflection, to get to know ourselves that's why god split himself (and forgot) so we could actually meet ourselves in each other I got to know myself more deeply through you. now I can work with that. maybe alone.. at least for a while does that sense of loneliness creep in again? why do I feel so lonely sometimes? maybe it's time to explore that loneliness. why is it here? what does it want to tell me? sometimes I feel like I'm actually a pretty interesting and enjoyable person to have around. why not enjoy my own company? maybe that's a way too. I'm quite lovely. maybe that's my chance to meet myself even more deeply.

a new chapter is beginning I finally have to learn standing on my own feet again. after a long period of codependent patterns, I feel the need to be set free and to finally learn how to love myself. I want to feel whole by myself again I've opened my heart to love, completely surrendered to another soul and it fired back the most cruel and heartbreaking way. I gave myself, my soul and my heart to someone who didn't give back anything of that It broke me completely Matt Kahn said his heart got shuttered and cracked open so much, that it didn't know how to stick the pieces back together anymore. I think the same just happened to me over the past months. it's ok. I want it to stay open for the rest of my life. thanks for this experience, thanks for cracking me open. <3

whenever I ask myself the question what would love do? a sense of relief overcomes me. and out of that deep relaxation and surrender, love arises. I love it! Matt is such a gem <3

it is but it's definitely the most fulfilling one to walk in this lifetime I love it cause it's the most loving, softest approach, yet it's fierce and it has the power of a roaring lioness protecting her babies

he is, he just radiates love his words speak directly to my soul

same struggle here, I feel you, Max. you're so right, it's a double edged sword. but it can be our greatest gift, if we learn how to set boundaries and protect ourselves. I sometimes use visualization. I'll give you an example; before going to work I visually put on a cape (like a protective shield) and tell myself : what belongs to me and what's good for me stays with me. what doesn't belong to me and is not good for me, washes off. When I leave work I imagine taking that cape off and with it all the energies which are not good for me. I've learned that it's important to know myself; knowing when it's too much for me, how to set boundaries, knowing when my energy is low and how to replenish it. I'm still stumbling through most of it though but who cares, baby steps!

exactly, Matt Kahns words always wash a huge sense of relief and relaxation over me. from that state love and oneness arise and unfold naturally. I feel like he's right about different people needing different approaches and I definitely belong to the more heart-centered type <3 thanks dimitri

after a year-long break from this forum, I finally feel the desire to come back. I missed you. and I wanted to come back with my new favorite quote. it's from Matt Kahn. I've never heard anyone talking as straight to my heart as him. he is a gem, every single word he speaks. the universe wants to be you, all the time. you are the Universe's greatest desire. nothing puts me more into this moment, this experience, this live. it's all about integrating and embodying truth. all about loving ourselves. which has become my highest value, my highest and deepest intention. to be myself and to love it. and to pour that love into this world. maybe it speaks to your heart too. god wants to be you, all the time. so fulfill his desire and be you. and love all of it.

it takes courage and a leap of faith, but it's the greatest possibility we can open up to <3

true, it's like endlessly falling through groundless floors the art is to surrender and not to grasp onto anything <3

love is an act of surrender total abandonment I give myself <3 thanks for sharing, this touched me deeply <3

I noticed, I really, really like it so far I'm curious where it will bring me

surrender and let reality unfold I once experienced a deep trust in the Universe, I hope to find it once again

oh, I don't even know where to start. I'm back. feels like beginning and end. I'm everywhere and nowhere. I feel like a newborn...there is so much beauty and awe. I start to see beauty in evanescence and death, which is fundamental part of the emptiness of existence. it's all one, tied tighter. life is death and vice versa. wow. it's hard to put it into words. but I want to integrate everything I've experienced and journaling will help me, so here I am again. I feel so much lighter.. where to go from here? I think I need some grounding and integration. my goals: integrating my enlightenment experience. I've seen it. I've seen and felt god. I want to act, move and speak from that place I want to embody unconditional love and compassion keep a beginner's mind: empty. a white sheet op paper. keep being awestruck by reality becoming a healer - whatever that means for me. I don't really know yet (I don't need to) expand my consciousness, increasing my awareness my tools: meditation kriya yoga journaling reading books, watching videos, listening to podcasts contemplation communication, interaction with people: trying to help them, being present, listening to them mindfulness, awareness of breath whenever I remember psychedelics whole plant foods and keeping my body clean and in shape I don't really know what is happening with me. but I'm in love, I'm in love with life at the moment and I feel a deep calmness in me <3 my urge and need to seek seems to weaken, it makes me smile. it's so sweet..

I like Tool, how is the new album? I'll give it a try I had a few psychedelic-like experiences with music too. the most peculiar was recently while listening to Carbon Based Lifeforms: suddenly my mind opened and expanded into a empty space. I felt a great sense of union and I realized that there is no separation between 'me' and the music. suddenly I realized that I am both the listener and the composer of the music. I made that piece of art myself (in another incarnation maybe) hard to describe, but it was a beautiful experience

I've decided to do the first Reiki initiation and I'm very excited about it. I researched a bit and was quite surprised to see so many parallels to the yogic system. Prana, Chi, Shakti.. it all seems to be ONE. they talk about nadis and chakras as well in Reiki. as a Kriyaban I got immediately excited. so does anyone have experience with Reiki? anyone initiated here? I'm curious to read about your opinions and thoughts about Reiki

@IndigoGeminiWolf thanks for explaining, quite fascinating @inFlow I'm so curious and excited too! specially about the whole getting attuned to energy flow thing and the healing effects.. I'll probably share my experience as soon as I have the chance to

me too actually. maybe we can already transmit love, truth and oneness through everything we say and do <3 this forum seems like such a pyramid

do you consciously formulate those blessings in your mind and then visualize them flowing through you?

I came to the same conclusion that's beautiful, Charlotte! how do you do that?

yeah, if 1 works well for me, I will probably do 2 too in the future! (have to save some money first ;)) thanks Nahm wild stuff? now you got me curious Is till do that intuitively when I hurt myself, actually. you're right! I just hope I can feel that energy and flow more easily with the initiation and practice

whenever I expand my consciousness whilst tripping, I get very childlike. I observe in awe, I play. I realized that's the natural state. that's the attitude I want to integrate into my daily experience. playing with life, playing with existence. being, acting, speaking from that state pure state of love and awe. experimenting, discovering, learning. going at things with a blank sheet and experiencing life with all senses and my mind wide open <3

@Zigzag Idiot thanks for sharing! quite interesting.. I don't know much about all of this, thanks for giving me new perspectives you're completely right, I love viewing life through many different facets too. makes the whole picture complete.. that's what I really like about Leo and his channel. resonates deeply with my way of living and seeing life. so wonderful to meet people like you on this forum <3

wow, fascinating stuff right there, thank you very much for sharing your experience! I'd like to become sensitive to energy too .. that's actually the reason I started researching into Reiki. I hope it works out for me too do you use the energy flow for yourself and others? yeah, my father (who is one of the most 'unspiritual' people I know) got a Reiki initiation like 30 years ago. he almost never uses it. but some days ago I asked him to show me the energy/warmth. I could definitely feel it coming from his hands. this convinced me.. if it works on him, it must be very consistent wow, sounds wonderful. exactly what I was looking for.. healing myself and others, opening chakras. I hope I can integrate it into my meditation and/or kriya practice. thanks for sharing, Dizzy, I will definitely try thank you all for your inputs, guys! I'll get the initiation next month, I'm already pretty excited and I can't wait. I'll probably share my experience here on the forum

oh, got it. I like that sounds promising. we need to heal ourselves first, in order to heal others.