Lauritz

Thanks for that post. It gives me hope and motivation for my retreat during the next two weeks. I will be on a silent darkness meditation retreat... I needed this as encouragement. I will make sure to write a report afterwards.

I hope you are not planning to go out in the woods alone while tripping. From my personal experience that is not such a good idea. You might loose any conceptual idea where you actually are. And I would say make sure you are extra warm. If it is also winter right now where you are living, going outside is a bad idea for that reason too. I always got really cold on psychedelics. So I would recommend staying in a save place at home where you have more control over your environment, temperature, sounds, light,...

You realized the craziness in the ordinary. They exist within each other. In two days I will be on a 14 day solo darkness retreat. I am excited to find out how long my ego can believe in the thought "Oh this is just my body sitting in a dark silent room" or if it will just surrender to Truth or whatever... From my point of view I am also just looking for an interesting experience Maybe dropping into "my essence", "true-self" or the "godhead" would be cool. The release of DMT should help with that... We will see

I guess we gotta ask ourselves how much we are willing to pay for Truth...

The dualistic sensory experiences can of course be called illusory from the nondual perspective. But why should they fall away without illusory beliefs? At least in my experience they do not fall away after the illusion of separation has been been dropped. My direct experience has changed remarkably little. Only the backdrop and the worldview under which experience is interpreted has changed radically. My sense of self has changed, but not the experiences. They are only seen more clearly now. At least that is my limited experience

Yes you are already there. But you cannot see it because of the illusions you believe in. They are so strong they completely distort what actually is. And at the same time they are so subtle they seem to be part of reality. And that is where the work is required. Seeing through all of your (yet unconscious) illusory beliefs. Self-Inquiry, Meditation and Contemplation.

Yeah I can agree, I do not like constant slight cold exposure as well. And I actually dislike cold showers in the summer more than in the winter. When it is really cold your body starts producing enough stress hormones so you probably do not feel it as much Oh wow that sounds intense I never had such a bad reaction. But when I went swimming in the lake I had a few moments where it felt like I would pass out. So I really advice not doing it alone. My guess would be that your reaction was caused by hyper-ventilation. The german wikipedia article on the topic states that it causes lower blood circulation to the brain. I guess what is said about this whim hoff breathing is exaggeration and misinformation to a large degree. The low C02 concentration in the blood causes constriction of the blood vessels in the brain not an increase. So the brain actually gets less oxygen compared to normal breathing.

@Omni I do cold showers throughout the year. But they only get interesting during the winter. I naturally start breathing deeply even without having heard of the wim hoff method. Last week I wanted to take it up a notch and go swimming in an open lake. It had already been snowing heavily and the water temperature was probably close to zero. The effects on consciousness were pretty intense. Sensory perception became a little shaky but super present and I felt euphoric. I noticed also that thoughts almost stopped as I surrendered to the experience (pain). I also noticed calmness and stillness immediately afterwards. I had to laugh as I recognized that I actually floated in nothingness. The water being me and all of experience not happening somewhere in space but just in the now. It is difficult to explain but I know this experience from psychedelic trips. Kind of this Escher-like portrait feeling, where you have no particular perspective. But I do not recommend it if you are not prepared. It is intense and your feet and hands become painful quickly if you do not cover them. On the physiological side of things this practice is supposed to be very healthy. It is a challenge to the body which strengthens the immune system if approached correctly. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_swimming#Health_benefits

Thank you, I found this to be very helpful. He is really able to transfer that simplicity through this guided meditation. Even though I am not able to drop all concepts and perceive the present moment without this conceptual-backdrop, the guided meditation gave me a real sense of that vast nothingness that actually spreads behind closed eyes. What do you think of listening to this on a psychedelic. Maybe on a moderate dose? I like how slow and simple he speaks... might be good for guiding contemplation during a trip.

@Timotheus I would never say never Keep in mind that even Terence McKenna had an experience that frightened him and it was towards the end of his career as a psychonaut. Don't know but he seemed pretty fucked up But then he was also smoking tons of weed during his trips, which is probably a bad idea.

@Leo Gura Had that realization yesterday. It popped up during self-inquiry and I just followed it. I just started laughing because I got this. There really is no difference between me, being actually sane, or me being insane and my real me lying somewhere in a mental institution. Sanity only exists within insanity. Another infinite strange-loop. I had memories from a trip coming back and remember how I was able to understand that sanity was constructed out of insanity.

I am at this point where I want to take a trip again. My last real trip was four years ago and it was that typical "bad"-trip. Were you think you have gone mad, going down thought loops that go something like this: "OMG, now I have taken too much, Now I will be in here forever. No that is bullshit, you are alright." Then realising a second later in shock that this thought that tries to calm you down is just part of this madness spiral and wont stop it from happening. And from there it only will get worse. I had that happening twice. First on mushrooms and then on orally ingested marihuana. This attempt of trying to understand the trip while it is happening seems to be counter-productive. Letting go also means letting go of this need to understand. My questions: Is anyone here who has had this fear of psychedelic madness and has faced it and seen through it? Was it as bad again, when you consciously faced it again? My next trip will be on AL-LAD and it should have less madness in it But I know that eventually I will have to overcome it, if I want to grow. It already has become too big of an obstacle in my mind. My concern is that these madness trips of endless thought-loops are just somehow damaging to the brain. Compared to four years ago I now have a much deeper understanding of reality and was able to integrate those trips quite well thanks to what I learned from @Leo Gura. So "in theory" that should help while tripping. But understanding everything eventually also has to come full circle, right?

If enlightenment had an instrument, it would be a hang drum:

The Now does not exist. It is infinitesimally small. It is THE paradox. It is nothing but it contains everything. The way it does this is what we perceive as time.

@Waifu Yandere I can relate to what you say. For me it has been a similar development over the last year or so. From what I have read, this process must be expected. We are uncovering our false beliefs and illusions. And and purpose or passion that we believed was ultimately real and true is also revealed as illusory. Because it is ultimately only a function of our human nature (the brain). So it is up to us to define and shape passions and find the purpose in our life. When we are not believing anymore that those things are some inherent aspect of reality we become free to choose and develop those things on our own. But that requires work. What has formerly been an unconscious process, where you picked up ideas from society and mixed them with your own, now has to become a process that you think through and define by yourself. And this requires some knowledge of how the mind works in that regard. How do you make yourself become passionate again in a world that was revealed to you as utterly meaningless. I guess that is where Leos Life-Purpose course helps. But I have not purchased it (yet).

@snowleopard Yes it is great Probably not many people can really grasp the deep transformation that this poem points to. I will keep his book in mind I would be interested to know his background experiences with psychedelics.

You can prove it with self-inquiry. You can find out that whatever you perceive is actually fully self-conscious in and of itself. There is no you on the other side that could have consciousness apart from the appearances. Maybe my last video on nothingness can help to realize it. The exercise is from headless.org

My deepest insight so far, in regards to this, is that we are not talking about something else or out there. Reality is not something you are apart from. YOU are this reality. You are talking about yourself. You and the infinite are one and the same process. Whatever it is, that is you. For your real self there is no death, it is as much your life as it is the life of everyone else. This realization will at first be really shocking, to the ego. And then it sets you free. And yes, for me this also became obvious on a psychedelic trip. 3g of shrooms finely ground with lemon juice, fasted for 7days before

@jse Lately a big shift in my awareness happened because I understood how space and time itself are properties/experiences that our mind/body-system creates out of this infinite singular reality. Just that time or space have different properties than lets say a physical object. Objects and space are actually so closely interdependent that this comparison might not be so good The Copenhagen interpretation is really fascinating and actually makes a lot of sense. In my understanding this means that conscious experience defines reality. Even through time and independent of location.

I found this experiment to be really interesting: So far there seems to be no excepted theory that can conclusively explain the results of this experiment. This experiment is a pretty good indication that nothing exists outside of the now and outside of perceptions. All of reality comes into existence from the perceptions we have in this moment. What do you think?

Oh man I definitely want to experience this I remember feeling incredible for weeks after the trips. The contrast of my normal everyday life to this madness was just too good. I can now see how understanding and knowledge might help me during the experience. In my experience there are always at least phases were one can think relatively clearly. And in those times it probably helps to think "surrender" and "I expected this" instead of what I did, thinking "omg, will this ever end, I need help,...".

@phoenix666 I agree and I will make sure to report on my experience afterwards. @Leo Gura so if there is true madness in this apparent sanity than maybe I can expect to find true sanity within apparent madness

@snowleopard @Nahm That is good advice. I sometimes forget that it is good to have encountered my fears. Only that way more freedom is gained. Part of me is somewhat hoping to face that fear again to see what it actually was that frightened me. So that I can come out of the experience with the feeling of having grown from it.

@Nahm Yes that is my plan. I already started low with AL-LAD. 30mcg and 60mcg so far. The effects were noticeable when I meditated or focused on the music. But were below what I would call a trip.