Valach

It absolutely works. I've met my last girlfriend through it. Keep trying, change things up, find mentors, don't give up!

Hey guys, I do have interesting situation going in regarding the way we broke up with my ex or rather the way she moved on. I guess more than an advice I am in a need to vent since I have noone to talk to abou this.So me and my ex (we are both 26) broke up at the start of the year. It came from my side and it was because I was just not certain we want same things. However even when breaking up or right after break up, I still cared for her and had feelings and we made of mistake - we stayed in the contact.Anyway throughout the next 6 months we were in a contact, writing quite often to each other. We've even met couple of times, but never had anything physical together. It was either her helping me when I was sick or me helping her with her exams (she really struggles with those).Anyway we met at the end of last month, July. We went to a shisha place, had some coctails and all was good, just catching up and talking. Then the night progressed and we went to her place to cook dinner. She asked me about my dating life to which I answered I am not seeing anyone at the moment. I asked her the same -> now it gets kind of weird. She told me she is seeing someone, but that she is not so happy about it, there is something misssing, some spark or passion or something like that (I guess that means she didn't really have proper feelings for the guy??). She also told me that she changed her requirements for relationships quite a bit. She told me she doesn't think she will ever love someone as much as she did me and is more looking for other characteristics like being stable and kind etc.? Didn't really know what to make out of this but didn't think about it that much.Night progressed and as you can guess it, we slept together. Then she opened to me more. The guy she is dating is her younger colleague(21M) whom she befriended at the end out our relationship. After the sex she told me that one thing missing with this guy is that the sex is not really that great and she was telling me how she finally got fucked properly, how much she needed this etc. She also told me she was seeing this guy for 4 months already. I was really surprised, first of all, didn't really understand why she is with him in the first place and then I just kinda assumed that it was my shorter relationship because 4 months in I was already official with her.Anyway we part ways and the next week is kinda fucked up emotionally. Me sleeping with her hit me way harder then I imagined and I did miss her a some feelings accured. We were in a contact the following week, but just writing to each other and stuff like that. The next weekend after us sleeping together, she goes to a party, gets' little drunk a writes me that she misses me. I missed her too but I guess I just wasn't sure about all of this and brushed things off. We stop writting to each other. 2 days after that she reaches out to me cursing me, saying I gave her chance and then burned it (which I might have), she tells me she still loves me and that the whole week she was thinking about how to break things off with the guy.From then we were not in contact, it's been 3-4 weeks. I started dating casually a new girl (more like sleeping together) but I still miss my ex and think about daily. Now eventhough I am still not talking to her anymore, I still follow her on Instagram. And last week I could not believe what I saw -> she went out to holidays to Albania, with the guy I mentioned, even showed him in the story, so I guess it's official. Indeed, I am bit jealous about all of this, but I am more confused than anything. I do not understand how she can tell all the stuff she is unhappy with the guy she is seeing and how she was essentially waiting for me to say something to get her back and then 3 weeks after that she goes off to travel with him? If I am being honest, besides being jealous I feel sorry for the guy, to me it just seems he is a second option to her? Anyway from this point, I am not sure what all this mean? Anyone with outside view who could share his/her's view on this? I just can't wrap my head around it.

Well she didn't shit on him per say. She said he's really nice and stable and has his shit together, but that something is missing - some passion or spark. And that she is not really satisfied when it comes to sex.

Why do you think that? Is there never a way to rebuild a relationship. I know people say that you don't return to an ex until the reason you've broken up has been solved and I agree with that. But if it was solved? What then?

Right. Emotions are a bitch hah. I am not sure what I am jealous of exactly. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss her and all that. At least we've stopped chatting to clear space.

Sorry man. I wanted to get the message out and edit it later, but turns out. I am not able to edit after posting I am not sure she cheated on him per say. When shit happened we talked about it and she said they did not promise anything to each other and she doesnt know if he is sleeping with anyone else. However I was very surprised that she "commited" to him -> Again just assuming here, haven't talked to her in a month but traveling with a dude to foreign country doesn't seem like something you do when you are just casual. That's the weird stuff. When we were together she was actually very communicative and honest with me. I would say she was more mature then me. That's why all this feels weird to me, it's not "not her". Yeah, partially it's me not having integrity. However as I said, when we were talking before sex, I asked her about her dating life and she said she's been with someone and it was alright. I kinda just assumed that means she went on a couple of dates and slept with some dude, I didn't know it's been a 4 month situationship. Yeah, me getting back into game has been real struggle. I feel like I still struggle till now.

I think you are right here. I need to focus on myself and maybe we will reconnect or maybe not. I think us not splitting properly made it impossible to return to each other.

What do you mean by that? Yeah, I think it's a bit too late now. I am not sure if I will regret it. I just felt that eventhough I love her I still needed to be single for a while.

You could say that high value guy would not be forced to the night game because he gets laid enough as is.. I kind of see what you are trying to say here, but I am not sure I entirely agree. I think guys as a whole assume that being liked by woman = high value, while it's just very contextual. You are just high value to the woman. I have plenty of friends who indeed are quite sucesfull with woman and I guess you could consider them high value and they do not do any daygame (well not even night game per say). But instead of running around during weekdays looking for girl to approach they usually spend their days partying, drinking etc. And that way they meet a lot of woman and sleep with some of them. That is not really a desirable lifestyle to me. Also, leaving this point, sometimes you kinda have to accept the point that you are not there yet and have to work on yourself. I am a software engineer with enough experience that I do not have to search for a new job (companies reach out to me via recruiters on their own), but when I was a junior dev and had no experience, that was no the case. But I do not tell people to not reach out to companies because high value dev does not do that. In my view anything that moves you forward is great. To be fair, I've done game only for couple of months (essentialy one longer summer) and it was only daygame. Not that I didn't want to do nightgame, by I couldn't thanks to COVID. And I had a lot of fun doing that, made some friends, had plenty of dates and fun experiences and even found my last gf via that. And yes, sometimes the approaches were spammy. Maybe some girls judged me for it (none told me that tough) but hey it worked for me. Do you really care if you get into great company via unconventional way? Or that you might be judged by some? Meh

@StarStruck Since when is girl not texting back considered a disrespectful?

@Roy Seriously men, where did you get this idea? I've met so many rich guys who get cheated on or just broken up with by their girlfriends that I have no idea how can anyone believe that money = succes with woman. Sure, it makes it probably a tiny bit easier (but you can say that about anything really) but definitly I'd put having game (charisma, fun, confidence etc.) way way above money.

@Karmadhi @something_else My last girlfriend was from daygame approach in a Park. I literally told her that she is like 7th girl I approached that day and was totally cool about it. It went without any issue and she actually told me that she liked that I went around meeting woman this way. And no wonder. All the guys that tried to hit on her during our relationship were either sleazy attempts on instagram or some drunk approaches in the club. I believe it's not so much about what you are doing, but how are you doing it and what is your vibe.

But what is a traditional way of meeting a girl? Like I am not in school anymore, I also work remotely so work is not an option. Sure I have some friends, but what if I am not interested in any of them? I can go for nightgame on the weekends, but what if I want to increase my reach and approach during week when I am working the next day? I cannot stay out late. Online dating also does not offer me girls I'd be interested in. I just don't get what is so desperate about daygaming? As if your average guy, who is done with studies is swimming in pussy and because of that is not approaching -> they are not.

I am pretty sure that there are at least some folks on here who are in the IT field or generally interested in AI and know that the GPT 3 is a hot topic since it came out a week ago. https://chat.openai.com/chat What are your opinions on it? What do you think the impact of this tech and it's more advanced versions will be? Will this start slowly automating jobs? What about the software development industry, will we be impacted too? Personally after I have tested it myself, it seems to be producing a snippets of quality code from just a written language. It can also write tests and debug your code. I am now not so sure about my career in tech since I am bit afraid this will impact us big time in the future. What do you guys think?

Oh cool, thanks!

Could you explain what you mean by this?

Helllo guys, I've spent last 1 and a half year in exclusive relationship so I was not really going out too much (at least not with the intention of meeting woman). However recently I have been ruminating over my life and my social skills ( and to a certain extend, my ability to get woman) and I feel like It is still my duty to get better with woman before settlling down. However I am realizing that I am not really a college age dude anymore (I've just turned 26) so I was wondering how doable is this task for me. Does any one here have experience with diving into game at similiar age? How was it for you? How did you do with energy levels regarding your work and general life? I feel like it easier to get this part of your life sorted out when you are younger, say in college. But the nature of my university did not allow me to go out much, then covid came, then the relationship and I feel like I missed out on some crucial experiences...

Hello, My name is Jakub and I would like to share my experience working with Eric. I think, I've actually got to learn from Eric before he even launched his coaching. I approached him directly here, on the forum, since I was unsure about my relationship at the time and I always liked his opinions here on the forum. He was kind enough to offer to meet me and talk with me about my problems. I was very surprised by the level of his understanding and clarity which he brought into the issue. I've met him (online) couple times since then ( I think around 5 times) and he always was able to help me figure out my issue. As I mentioned I was not directly part of the childhood-aware life purpose coaching. We were usually talking about my personal issues and my relationships. Thanks to Eric I was able to set up my current relationship to be of very high quality (both mine and my gf's words :)) as well as gain a very deep understanding of what it means to be a man with healthy masculinity. I was always pretty anti relationships, anti woman and general I'd say anti life (I know, quite toxic) and thanks to his coaching I managed to turn that around. I can not recommend his life purpose coaching as I have not attended it personally, but I can not imagine it being of low quality after what I've experienced with Eric. To me the way he approaches life and woman as a man is highly insipirational. I would even go as far as saying he has become sort of role model to me (eventhough we never really met). Jakub

A lot of you beliefs can be so deep and so attached to your perception of who you are that you will not even notice them. You can definitly be more biased towards heterosexuality because deep down you belief that it's more manly to fuck girls or just 'act' manly. I am not saying that's you, I am not saying you are homophobic or anything just pointing out how people sometimes are. Eventhough I am probably not 100% heterosexual (still discovering myself in this) I still can feel a bit of anti gay bias in me. I think a lot of it is cultural and given we share basically same culture, I wouldn't be surprised if you struggled with it too.

@something_else Again, that is something I do not agree with. I am at work so can't really write out for long, but I have the same experience with daygame as you do with nightgame. Often girl would ask me if I approach like this a lot and I am honest with them, that indeed I do and I do it to meet new people and gain social skills - almost always gets a laugh or whatnot. I think you can frame going out during daytime the similiar way as during nighttime -> You are just social person out meeting new people, having fun, vibing with other and sharing your energy. Hell, I got my current girlfriend from daygame cold approach, I even told you that she was like 7th girl I approached that day and she thinks ( and I believe her sister too, which she told to) that approaching like this is coolest shit ever. But again, that is because I am thanks to game fundamentally a cool person and so most girls have fun talking to me. Honestly now remembering the day I met my current gf, I think I got good 3 dates from that daygame session ( which was like from 2pm - 5pm on a nice sunday summer evening ), nothing crazy and I could just relax and go for nightgame after that if I wanted to. Btw. I feel like if you percieve daygame approaching as fundamentally needy, others will feel the same about you doing it. And honetsly, if you can get dates from daygame, you are much bigger baller than some "normal" guy getting dates "normal" way - that shit is honestly way easier. Once I learned daygame, meeting, flirting, getting girls on dates through other means became so much easier. However I am not some stubborn pickup guy who is promoting here daygame. I actually believe nightgame overall is more effective. It's just daygame can work too, is dope as shit and is nothing to be judged for.

Sure, but that makes you do game 2 times a week. I am not sure this is enough for beginners. Wasn't enough for me, but maybe I am just a special case. Obviuosly it matters a lot how is your social life outside of game and (often very uderated part) how social is your job. Right I get it, everyone has different standarts, but at this point, money wise, all I have to do is just keep doing my 9-5 job. But like you can squeeze a daygame session or two in your week, if you go for like 2 hours Besides, I think you can work on a lot of things even during night (reading, going to the gym, meditating, life purpose etc.)

For sure some shadows to discover about yourself right here There is nothing gayish about enjyoing the anal play. Funnily the biggest players I know actually enjoy the most often this kind of kinky stuff. That is because they are secure about themselfs and prefer having fun over fullfilling some image of what an alpha male should look like.

I am not sure man. Usually I find myself to agree with your opinions in this subforum but at least from my experience, not this one. I have done plenty of day game (primarly due to me doing pickup during covid times when the clubs were closed). It has it disadvantages, for sure. It is less time efficient and obviously its harder to get laid from it (easier to build connections I'd say). But very rarely have I even gotten blown out or felt like I creeped out the girl. Sure, there were times when the girl was in hurry to get somewhere and didn't have time to chat, but I would just let her? However I feel like for daygame you have to be already somewhat socially calibrated and not a total beginner. Also, not sure if reddit is the best place to ask this. I feel like the rule is that the girls don't like to be approached creepily anywhere, but once the guy knows what he is doing, she will enjoy the approach even if in hurry.

@KH2 Well, you could also sleep during the time of nightgame. I mean, I am not sure what kind of nightgame you do, but when I did it, I was out from 23.00 - 3.00, then the next day I obviously had to wake up later and that directly took away time from my daytime (in the same way daygame did). Nightgame is better for spam approaching and getting laid more for sure. But it is harder to sustain it once you start working. Also: What if you are still young yet you are not broke anymore (Idk what you consider young, but I am 25 and doing alright for myself). I also imagine that pickup is more like a phase which some guys have to go through and then focus on finding a quality stable relationship (which supports your life in other areas).

Agreed here.