Valach

@gettoefl Thanks for the feedback. I feel like it's the first one.

@flowboy I will check out your video about it. Thanks for all the advice

@flowboy You are right. I guess I might give a try since it might be so challenging for me and we will see, worst case scenario we can break up. Right now I have couple of weeks left before getting to normal state with her so I can think about all the boundaries I would like to propose to her. We might not in the end even find common ground there so might ditch the idea after all. If I can ask you, how would you use such experience to grow into a better man and combat the jealousy and insecurity you feel inside youself?

@flowboy Hmm, I don't think so honestly. I think it would make me more anxious and make me ruminate over if she is gonna do it or not. But it's hard to tell, I've never been in such a situation.

Sure I can see that. It would be bad breaking the rules of the relationship now. But once we open up there is nothing stopping us from meeting other people, so what would cause jealousy then?

Could very possible be the case for me not trusting her. I feel like I am not the one who is 100% to be trusted. However I am 100% confident that due to the way our communication is set up, we would tell each other if we did some mistakes. So I can trust at least on that. Yes. You are super right here. I have recently started working a lot, solely focusing on my goals and myself. Due to this we see each other like once every 2 weeks (will change soon). This made me quite grounded and confident in myself and reduced the overall jealousy in day to day life. However now I feel more jealous when she goes out to a party or something, because before I would just hang out with my friends or something, but since I am kinda on a grind I am usually just programming at my home while she parties which definitely makes me feel weaker. @flowboy Would you say that fixing my jealousy issues is something that could transfer and enable me have a open relationship with her. I don't think my jealousy is bad (even she said so, she was surprised that I even have some when I mentioned it), but it definitely would be bad if I found out she slept with someone else. And you know what kinda my situation is and why I am considering to have a open relationship Thanks for answering!

@Leo Gura I am not really sure I agree with you here. I think this thinking is more part of the history now, but I definitely feel like woman don't have to have a desire to be in a relationshi(or date you)p with you in order to sleep with you. I feel like nowadays girls have much lower standarts for sex than for relationships. I've been meeting girl who actively keep guys in a 'fuck zone' whilst he wants a relationship etc. Maybe that's because I am in Europe or I am just meeting girls with high sex drives, but their thinking commanly is like "I didn't really like him, but I was horny, so why not sleep with him". Pickup in general helped me understand woman tremendously, but I feel like it often described them as wanting mainly relationships, which was not my experience. Feels like in today's world girls want to sleep around and are sex positive more than guys lol.

So you suggest breaking up and having more experience?

@Lyubov RIght, that makes sense. I think I will mention it to her anyways. I think even if we break up, she can always meet that guy later since he's been trying for almost a year now. Would you say me meeting my 'ex' was out of line too? And did you have to fight your own jealousy at some point? I am asking you since I saw your posts recently and I resonated with you quite a bit.

@Arcangelo 1. What is wrong with marriage according to you? 2. What is wrong with having kids according to you? 3. How does redpill prevent that? I mean I get that redpill says not to get married but that's like saying "I will never get heartbroken if I never trust anyone", its right in a way, but also super defensive and I think not really heatlhy. 4. How does redpill prevent that?

@Lyubov Well I am not really ok with it per say. I am fairly confident she is not interested in him at all. Normally I would tell her that it's against my limits, but the issue here is that she did let me meet up with my ex couple of weeks ago and also since I am quite jealous in general in the relationship, I wasn't sure if I have any ground here before I resolve the issue. I am pretty confident however If I told her I am not okay with this, she won't do it. Also I don't want to be making any rules now, since I am in the process of evaluating whether I want to end a relationship. And I would just look like a douche to forbid her to meet a guy and then break up with her in two weeks. @puporing The relationship until now was not set up. And I didn't describe it correctly. She has no desire to have an open relationship. However after some of our talks she sensed (rightly so) that I want to reconsider the relationship since I still have desire to meet other woman. So she offered to open up relationship to avoid a break up I suppose.

@Arcangelo I am sorry to jump into convo with @something_else but none of what your wrote is practical evidence it improved your live. You are super vague, could you be more specific about how consuming redpill content improved your intimate relationships, your dating life or how you approach a relate to woman in general?

@Knowledge Hoarder Pickup does way more to you than just increasing your extroversion. There are many benefits to it as well as drawbacks. For example as @RMQualtrough mentions, I can definitly see a narcissistic tendencies developing in myself because of pickup (which it promotes).

@Hardkill Dude, I don't mean to insult you. But please get finally off this forum and go get some real experience. Your theorizing is just waste of time for you.

@Striving for more Go for whoever you find attractive

@Gesundheit2 @Etherial Cat No wonder girls don't like coming to this subforum. Jesus, dude... @Etherial Cat I am sorry for that experience.

I see where you are coming from, but in total honesty, the relationship is the other way around where I feel like I am sometimes pushing her boundaries. She is a bit of a people pleaser and will often apologize for things she should not apologize for. And yes, those were truly my fuck ups, such as kissing other girl at party or often times being insecure about her past :/. Spot on. I did do some work, but can't seem to get a handle on the problem. It is indeed very hard position to be making an evaluation of a relationship from. I feel like my mind is so much clouded by my emotions and insecurity that I can not make a honest decision. I definitly want to resolve this before deciding on our future. If I didn't have this issue, I feel like I would already be single again or fully comitted to this girl - or I guess I would just find other irational issue, heh. Will check out the video and give you a feedback :). Great point and I agree. I tried to do this in the past but without success. It's kinda hard because I separate myself from her and then start missing her after couple of days and start missing sex too (I am very sexual person) and it clouds my mind again. It almost feel like my feelings gets much stronger if we take couple of days break. Then I break the silence and meet her and after we have sex and I again feel little bit 'meh' about the relationship. Using pickup terms, it feels like my sex drive is push-pulling me in the relationship. I also experience this regarding her looks -> we meet in a bar, she is all dressed up and has great makeup and I am like 'holy shit, this girl is so hot', then we go to her place, have sex, she undresses, takes her make up off and I am again 'meh'. Truly incredible, how our biology fucks with us. Yeah, i feel like life is gonna be always messy no matter what path you choose Thanks for the feedback man, hope ur doing well!

Hey Guys, I am struggling with making a decision regarding my relationship right now and would appreciate your input if you have similiar experience. I have always struggled socially since highschool. However some time ago I decided to change it and started going out and practicing pickup and socializing in general. The things were quite hindered by COVID and I practiced pickup for like 3-4 months in total. And I improved, a lot actually. I have went from almost virgin with no social skills to someone who is now quite outgoing and charismatic and is considered an extrovert by others. Last May however, I met a girl, who I found quite attracted to (both physically and emotionally) and decided to give it a go and start a relationship with her, that's been going for 8/9 months now. I would consider the relationship healthy (we are both very honest and open with each other, the communication is great, intimate and social life together as well). I do really think this girl is quite a relationship-material -> she is very stable emotionally, has great relationship with parents, doesn't carry no apperant trauma around, is very feminine, kind and fun to be aroud. Also is quite sexually libared, without any hang ups, which I love. The issue with the relationship is definitly coming from my side. Eversince the first wawe of passion and love faded (after ~3 months), I started doubting the relationship for couple of reasons. Firstly I feel like I ended my pickup journey too soon. I think there is a lot of growth waiting for me there still which I am avoiding by being in a relationship. There is also some imbalance between us regarding experiences (we are both 25, i have slept with 8 girls so far and she slept with 20 guys). I do get quite jaded and envious of her experiences and also have experiecne quite strong retroactive jelousy (which I am trying to work on, without sucess so far -> would be super cool if I met someone with same issue here). Also sometimes, but I don't think it's the biggest issue -> I just simple think I could do better looks wise, it's not that my girl is not good looking, but she is also no the best looking girl I have ever seen. Now I am not sure if these reasons are enough to end the relationship. I kept the relationship going since I was switching jobs, moving to new place so I would have no time for pickup anyway. But now that spring is coming closer, I have a feeling that I might want to be single again. But I feel quite unhappy about the whole situation because 'yes - i wanna do pickup to better myself and gain more experiences' but on other hand I have hard time letting go of a great girl with who I have strong emotional connection a who essentially didn't do a single thing wrong (we havent had an argument regarding something she did, it was always my fuck up so far). So I am afraid we might break up and I might regret it down the road. I sometimes joke that I will break up, live a single life for some time and then end up with a girl like she is anyway. Have anyone been in similiar situation? Being in a healthy relationship but desiring the single life? What did you do and how did it turn out? What would you recommend to me? Thanks in advance

Could you briefly describe how would one go about developing real confidence? Lately, I have noticed shortcuts in pickup. I am getting results but I have become really neurotic and can't seem to enjoy life as much, so I am curious what thing I could change regarding my pickup journey.

To a degree that is the case. I have to learn to trust girls, that they know what is best for themselfs.

Exactly this!

Hi! I definitly do have a commitment issues and I am trying to work through them as of now but didn't get to the root of the problem yet. I don't think I have that much problem with opening myself to the woman or with being intimate, I actually find myself quite enjoying these things. What I struggle with is dissapointing people. I am afraid to commit to a girl, because I always have a feeling like I am gonna loose interest and leave evetually and the girl will be hurt so I don't want to do it. In the end I stay with the girl anyway but more like in half in half out way, which hurts them even more so it's not really productive. I also think, I have a typical fuckboy mentality(cause by pickup and my friends), where I think that attractive male should be single and sleeping around and essentially I see men in relationship as losers and fuckboys as cool guys. Definitly an ego thing (Even my girlfriends of 6 months told me that -> that eventhough I am not sleeping with anyone else, I still have a lot of player aura around me). I am realizing that huuuuge part of my desire to sleep around is to just boost my ego - though I must admit, it seems unfair or unjust to just drop that for relationship, when my gf experienced those things.

@Gianna Thank you for the reply. To be honest I don't feel like it's an insecurity regarding my relationship. I am not affraid of the girl cheating on me. I think it's just me not accepting female sexuality as is. I even have a problem hearing friends saying they slept with a guy on a first day etc. Yup, its a weak point of mine and something to work on

This is a hot topic for me as I am dealing with it right now. Me and my girl have been dating for 5 months now and we are very open with each other so she told me her "number" and some details. I was very surprised in my reaction -> in the past I didn't really care about my girl's past but that was probably because I never really saw any future with them. With this girl ( eventhough the number is not realy thaaaaat high) I am struggling with this. It got to a point, where it's ruining our relationship, which is a shame, because this girl really is a wonderful person who is supporting me in every possible way. Sometimes I feel disgusted and sad by it. It came to a point, that sometimes, when we are having sex I am thinking about her being with other men (which is funny since I don't know any of them). Obviously this ruins a nice moments for me. I am trying my hardest not to judge her but as with every emotion goes, you can't really control it. I don't think this is rooted in a insecurity in my case, because am quite confident around my relationship and sex skills (got a quite bit of compliments in the past and from this girl). I think my issue is that I am resentful towards my past self, when I wanted to get laid but didn't know how so I hold a grudge against my girlfriend, girls and people having sex in general. I obviously have a problem with female sexuality in general too, probably conditioned by cultural programming. But just as you said. If I want to date a girl who is good looking, likes sex and is fun to be around, she will be with some past. I understand this in a logical layer, but can't really force my emotions to do the same Yesterday I told everything about this to my girlfriend, who had no idea I was struggling with this. I am also gonna go to therapy to find the root problem of this. If not, I will probably have to end the relationship as my girlfriend deserves someone who will not judge her for her past. I don't want to break this relationship just because of this because I have a feeling I might have the same issue in the next one so I need to deal with this now. I also noticed in myself that I tied my self-worth a lot to how many girls I slept with and sometimes I wish my number was higher. Anyone's advice, who struggled with this and got over it would be appriciated.

Hi there guys. To introduce you to my story, I am 24 years old and 2 years ago I dropped out of my software engineering degree because I am was just stressed all the time and just couldnt finish it at all. Immidiatly after that I started working as a junior developer in job with very specific technologies which is not really related to other jobs so I kinda got stuck here. For a long time I was just fucking around not doing anything in my free time which I regret. Eventhough I don't see my future in the field, I haven't discovered my life purpose yet, but I know for sure that I will need a finance safety net for the future ( nothing crazy, but like an average salary in my country ). For that I have decided that I want to pursue further career in web developent as sort of a life purpose for now. However I am not sure if lack of my formal education is not gonna hold me back too much for finding job opportunities etc. I am not sure how to appraoch my situation and if I should go back to school or not. The thing with school is also that if I go back, my life will basically be full time working with no time for my friends & gf etc. Is there anyone here on this forum who has built a decent carreer in this field without a degree who could help me out? Much appriated.