Valach

@Preety_India Burden of what?

@Preety_India Yes, but have you question yourself why you want it in this way? Like what is your motivation? I agree that a lot of men don't want commitment, but by demanding exclusivity you kinda are asking for commitment.

@Preety_India Alright. I think you should firstly identify why you want this arrangment. It seems that you want all the benefits of the relationship without any responsibilities. That's very hard to find and I myself as a men don't understand why I would give exclusivity to a girl I have no future with? Why do you want to be exclusive? What do you get out of it if you are not planning future with potential partner?

@Preety_India You must admit however, that it's pretty hard to give a honest advice, if you are labeled as "mean" by you..

I am sorry to chime in if I have not much of value to provide. But I have to agree with @something_else here. I've noticed you are often very defensive when someone is trying to give you advice. And I don't see any condescending tone if what advice you recieved from @something_else

Hello guys, There is one thing I was recently ruminating over and I would like to know your opinion. I am currently in 1 year relationship, that has been great without any major issues. I feel like I am very compatible with my current partner, be it on personal, social or sexual level. However one thing that has been holding our relationship back and that might cause eventual break up is my desire to be single, gain some cool experiences with other girls, improve my social skills, learn proper game etc. However after talking to some friends (female mostly) and reading up opinions online, it seems that usually people sleeping around are doing that because of their low self esteem and their desire to be validated by others. Which obviously doesn't really solve self confidence issues, just makes the person feel shallow. Now I am questioning my real cause of my desires. Maybe if I worked on myself more and built a better relationship with myself I would be able to get over this want and let it go? Though it seems like I've improved my self esteem and the desire went nowhere. Any opinions, experiences on this?

@Knowledge Hoarder Do you think it would be possible for you to start a healing process of getting over this trauma your described along with continuing developing your social skills listening to whatever coach you find the most helpful? If so, what's stopping you?

@Knowledge Hoarderwhat emotional pain are we talking about? For me at least, my pain was pushing me too. Main reason was that i felt pain from the times of my high school where i was not good with girls and had a really strong desire to prove to myself and others that i am capable of doing this. Can you relate?

@Knowledge Hoarder Interesting points here. Why do you wanna be ''better" than the naturals or other people in general. How would you feel if you found out after becoming a successfull pick up artist that nobody gives a shit about your results? I am not trying to discourage you from going along with your journey. But you seem quite neurotic about it and that's just not a healthy place to start from. Why do you want to sleep with a lot of woman? What is missing in your life? A lot of pick up gurus will come to you selling you the idea that getting good at seducing woman or sleeping with lots of them will somehow fix you, or improve the quality of your life. For me, while I found my pickup journey to be of crucial importance to my development, I think having sex with lots of woman is one of the most overhyped thing there is. And the guys who really went in with your mentality, they achieved their results, but they are fundamentally still the same people, hollow inside. But as I said, you do you, technically I am still on the journey too

@Knowledge Hoarder You've clearly made your opinion about the guy and rest of teachers already. I am gonna respect that so I don't think there is any point in debating this more

Okay. What sort of results do you want to get out of this? In what way's do you want to change your personality. Well, most men have the potential to become millionaires, yet they don't. Do not underestimate how hard it is to become and excellent at pickup. I'd say I am close to an intermediate level and I can tell you that anyone from RSD would wipe the floor with me. Who is JAL though? Anyway it's hard for me or you to judge the people on infields. I guess everyone finds their own teacher that suit's them the most. For me generally when I am looking to learn from someone that is not a hard skill (which pickup ain't) I am really careful about what sort of human being I am learning from and if their percieved values align at least somewhat with mine. With the guy you posted, I've known about him for quite some time and he came off to me as just too much of a toxic person, I couldn't really resonate with his vibe. If it works for you, I don't have a problem with that, all the best Btw. If you ever decide to visit Prague, hit me up and we could go out together

@Knowledge Hoarder I understand your points, but I am just trying to warn you not to overlook the personality of the teacher in the hope of get results fast or whatever you want. I was lucky to actually start my pickup journey with very experienced wingman ( 100's of lays) and while he helped me a lot with my game, he also had a poor influence on me through his neurotism, sexism and just generally awful relationship towards woman and relationships. As far as quality of number goes, I am talking about what Leo mentioned already. Usually you need to have longer interactions to get a quality number that will lead somewhere. I am not doubting you can get a date after 1-2 min number close, but it's highly unlikely and just from the way the video is framed, it's clear that it is aimed on guys who don't have much experience in game. Regarding owen or other pickup teachers in general. I think I am past the phase where I need to watch anyone really, I am pretty confident I have theory stuff down. I believe I once saw a owen's video where he said that his game is not that great compared to some other guys in the industry and he is more focused on teaching it. But don't kind yourself, he is still way better than me or you will ever be, so there is no point dissmissing him on the base of that. If you wanted to learn tennis, would you only accept the advice from the best player in the world or would you be down to get trained by someone who is great as well and has a lot of experience teaching? I would even say the second option is better for your learning path. But it's up to you, I am just trying to share my viewpoint.

@Knowledge Hoarder Be careful about idolizing a teacher like him. He might be getting results ( I didn't really dive deep into his content), but you only see what he wants you to see. Besides, anyone who's done pickup for a while doesn't really give a shit about getting a lot of numbers (you should focus more on quality of a number rather than the sheer quantity).

@zazen Interesting points, I could relate to some of them. But I am still super confused about the part where casual sex or hook up culture is inherently bad for woman and woman only? Where did you come to this conclusion. In my experience, I have known plenty of sexually liberal woman and plenty of conservative ones and I didn't really notice any difference in the way they fall in lover or in quality of their relationships (on contrary the more experienced woman often knew more clearly what they want and what are their dealbreakers - they were also a lot of fun). I myself have dated some girls who had more sexual experience than myself and they had no issue pair bond with me and didn't really cause any issues in terms of needing a variety of partners etc. Also, this might go against a pickup or red pill ideology, but I were quite honest I found that higher number of sexual partners was actually more destructive to mens ability to form relationships then it was to womans. You seem like a really smart dude and I feel like you are doing what a lot of guys like me or you are doing (=over analyzing relationships and sexuality). You don't have to answer this, but what is your experience with woman? Have you actually actively dated or is this all theory based?

@Federico del pueblo And I feel this also creates the phenomen of players, where only guys already fucking other woman will be able to authentically pull off this 'no agenda' vibe.

Hey guys, Someting happned with my girlfriend of 1 year yesterday and I am not sure if I am overreacting or being too jealous so I would love to hear some opinions. My girlfriend was out drinking with my sister yesterday at a club. At like 2am she wrote me that my sister went home and if she can come over. I asked her if she wants to still get drink with me since I was really not feeling like sleeping or whatever. She said yes and I was supposed to meet her at a club. So I left my place, during my 15 min walk there I wrote her asking where do we meet, like a specific place of a club or an entry or something. She did not answer or read that which I found to be a bit frustrating but whatever. When I came to the club I saw her right in front of it, talking to some guy. So I came there, introduced myself and chit chatted with them. It was little weird for me since I was completly sober and she was quite drunk. She told the guy to repeat to me what he said to her before I came which was something about how cool and kind of a girl she is and whatnot. Didn't really think much into it and said that I agree. After that she said that she wants to invite the guy for a drink since he invited her before and if I have any cash on me, since she already spent hers and they are not taking cards at the bar. I had a little bit and gave it to her and we started walked to the club. When I entered the club I noticed they are not behind me and so I looked behind and they were still staying outside of the club just before the doors, talking. She grabbed his forearm and led him into the club. This might have been my overreaction but I didn't like her grabbing his hand. When we were walking down the stairs to the bar I was like "wtf, am I really supposed to pay for a drink to a dude who has been flriting with my gf". I stopped at the stairs and told her that I am not up for it anymore. She got little pissed and told me that she will pay it herself and went to ATM to get some cash out. Obviously was bit furious. When we arrived at the bar the guy was nowhere to be found and so we just had drink together. She was pissed but drunk and I was thinking if I overreacted (might have a little bit). Anyway after couple of minutes the guy came back and they started talking and this was the biggest incident. They were maybe talking for like 5-10 minutes, I don't know about what, doesn't matter to me. What I really didn't like was the whole vibe of the situation. They were standing super close to each other, talking, from time to time the guy would grab her around her waist and once he stroke her hair without her stopping him. The whole interaction just looked super flirty and seductive. Second think that pissed me off was that I was essentially standing there, looking like and idiot, waiting for them to finish. i was expecting my gf to end the convo shortly and kinda 'pay attention to me' since I came there for her, but she didn't. So after those 5-10 minutes I just told her that I think that's enough. She imidiatly realized that I am not cool with it and ended the convo with hem and led me outside of the club and we had an argument there. She was saying that she wasn't like allowing him to touch her and the convo wasn't sexual and stuff like that. I told her that I trust her and that it's not the issue and she is fine to go out and flirt with guys within specific framework but I didn't like what happened right in front of me. Essentially I am fine with her flirting with guys as long as it doesn't get too physical, but I don't like it when she does it rigth in front of me. Specially since I came to the bar for her and I had noone to talk to when she was talking to him. After that she started crying a lot and considering she was drunk I decided to left the argument for the next day which is today. She is now sleeping next to me, after she wakes up and gets over hangover, we will talk about it, but I am not sure if I was over reacting or being too jealous since I had issue with that in the past. What do you guys think, how would you approach this? How would you act if you were in my position at the bar? I was expecting that I will juts not interfere and let the girl handle this but it was becoming a bit too much for me after a while.

Jojo, ja už nevím jak, ale mám tě delší dobu zafixovaného jako slováka asi jsi to zmínil v nějakém postu

Thanks for the input. I agree. I care about the girl so we will have to talk this through. Btw, Aren't you a Slovak?

Thanks for the comment. Honestly I think its the number 2. She is doing that for attention since I was bit distant lately (working a lot and also losing the passion for the relationship too).

@zazen What are the negative aspects of hook up culture or casual sex to woman according to you?

@universe @flowboy @nickjoky Thank you guys for the answers, found them to be quite helpful. Decided to stay in my current job since I enjoy it and learn a lot of useful skills so far. Might look for better paying job in the future.

Hey guys, I am in a difficult position and need to decide about I suppose about my future right now. I am fairly new to the software development, without that much experience and 3 months ago I started working at a quite known company as a Junior Python dev, mainly writing microservices in Flask. I feel like the team is great and I like the scope of the work as well. I am surrounded by some really skilled people, which is something I was looking for because I wanted to learn solid basics of development and best practices regarding python. Recently the end of my probation period was getting closer and I guess since I have been experiencing quite a imposter syndrome I started getting nervous, whether the company is going to keep me or not. I asked my manager twice about this on our weekly calls and he told me that he can't tell me yet and he will let me know at the end of the probation period. That stressed me a bit too, since I just moved places and spent all my savings and couldn't really afford to loose an income. So Just to be safe I decided to go on 2 interviews, to have a backup job in case I don't get to keep the work. I went to the job interviews 2 weeks before the probaton period so it would aligned with me being freed up from a job (just in case). I recieved offers from both the interviews so it called me down quite a bit and I didn't think about it too much. However one of the offers is kinda interesting to me due to money. It is a web development position in Django. I don't have that much experience in Django myself ( i told them I am a junior), but at least I have 3 months experience in Flask now which is quite similiar. Rest of the requited tech, I was familiar with (like postgres, docker, gitlab, CI/CD). After having the interview I received a phone called from agency, that the team is interested to take me in. I told the lady, that I cannot answer yet (since I was still waiting for my manager to tell me if they are keeping me or not). Couple days later (this week) I asked my manager about it and he told me that he can't still tell me yet and he will let me know at the end of my probation period (which at the time was at like 8 days). I didn't think much about it. But yesterday the lady from agency called me again, asking if I know already. I told her that I don't and she told me that she understands, but the team needs to know on Monday and that they pump up the offer in terms of money. I am now in a situation that I am getting offered quite a lot of money a junior developer and I would be making 2 times the national average here (and also 80% more than my current job). It is work on contract though, so I might pay a bit more taxes, not sure about that yet. However I am now super confused, this was supposed to be my backup job, but the money offered threw me away a bit. I am also confused about why they are offering so much since I am junior and whether I would be of an use for them and meet their expectations. I would also have to learn Django in couple of weeks which I think is quite doable. Now I am not sure at all what to do. Keep my job at very well known company where I can build my resume and learn a lot or go into a smaller team of contract developers to get a lot of money for my country? What would you guys do in my position. Do you have some things you look for when switching jobs.

I think I see what you are hitting onto. I have gone through interesting transformation in pickup, where first I entered as a super weak, unconfident guys and thanks to going out and studying pickup I improved greatly but I also noticed that my relationship to woman became quite dark and I started developing some narcissistic tendencies and I had to pull back a bit and focus on healing myself. I suppose I had shadows around woman from past experiences of feeling left out and unwanted and my ego was overcompensation of low self confidence? I am not clear here yet, since I am still in the process (and possible about to return back to approaching since I still crave experiences and want to develop more). It sometimes feels like going full circle hehe.

@aurum Could you expand on what issues you see in Leo's advice?

Hey guys, Recently I have been thinking about how jealous and possessive I tend to get in my current relationship. I have been dating my gf for quite some time now and I have noticed that whenever she mentions that she hangs out with her guy friends, that she finds somebody attractive or just goes out to a party where she will drink, I get a little jealous. I don't mention it to her and don't forbid her anything, but I definitely stings and I experience a little bit of anxiety (eg. she's at a party a doesn't text me as usual or something like that). I really noticed it today, because she mentioned that she might go out for a coffee with a guy she used to sleep with before meeting me (he invited her). Interestingly enough, I always though that there is always one person that is more invested in a relationship and that person is also the more jealous one. But it's not in our case, I have generally been less invested and was thinking recently about breaking things off with her, while she would definitely want to keep the relationship going, yet I am definitely more jealous one (as she is super secure, being fine with me hanging out with her ex once or quickly getting over me kissing other girl at a party). Recently we have started about the possibility of having an open relationship, which is something I might want to try. But also I think with my issues with jealousy I am not in a place to have one before I resolve them. So if any of you guys had issues with this and managed to resolve them, could share your insights?