Jackthelad

Hello again Emily, I have no interest in publishing any of them; the relationship one is a tangled mess, and is half-filled with notes from other authors (which gave me the idea to summarise books in a journal in the future), Leo's one is, well, all his material and my random thoughts, the other one is really all over the shop... I'm still figuring out what I am doing with it. They are more functional than narratives of any kind. I do enjoy writing generally, may start a blog on here to help the process, typing seems so much easier that longhand, and I find it flows better as well. Jesus, my story... well first of all, I don't wear glasses, so my profile picture is inauthentic! I don't know why I choose that one. Think I was trying to be a hipster for the picture, and now It makes me laugh. But there is more to me than the picture. I was born on the same day as you(!!!), in Ireland, and I've been trying to make sense of it ever since. Where where you born? I'm guessing the U.K., or the U.S.? UNITED COMMENT: Well, I'm dreaming we could get Pochettino, Van Gaal has to go. Mourinho might galvanise the team for the next two years, driven by his desire to beat Guardiola, but by 2019 he'll be gone, the players will be burnt out, and the club's youth system might not be in a great state. But I'd still take that over the endless-money-spent-and-wasted and nothing-much-else development of Van Gaal's era, even if he does bleed in some youngsters. He sold Hernandez for like 10 million, the fool! You see what keeps me up at night!?

Hey Emily, Great to see you on here. Interesting story. Sorry to hear about the dude but I am certain you would now admit it may have been the very best thing for you? Anything that changes a person's outlook from a negative to a positive has to be seen as a huge game changer. Be sure to give yourself credit for the things you have done or are in the process of transitioning into. We all compare ourselves and berate ourselves for perceived mistakes, but some people need to make them before they can develop. Yes, I am of course guilty of all of this myself. I can relate to you - being 31 as well - sometimes I feel as though I should have so much achieved by now, but when I do that I am forgetting about how far I have come. What type of journals do you write? I have one for relationships (finished, need to buy another), one for life purpose (using it for Leo's course), one for my yearly goals (bit all over the place, but doesn't fit into my other goals) and I have a fourth that I might use to start summarising key concepts from books, leo's videos, other influential programs etc. I don't know much about energy and manifesting, have to say I was always deeply sceptical about all of that but luckily I have also lost some cynicism about that area of my life (yours may have been pessimism, slightly different). For years I loved to party and all that but I have mainly left that behind. And your frustration with (1) the corporate world and (2) lack of people to speak with. That will change soon, and you message me for a chinwag if needs be. And... this is the most important point of them all - you support Manchester United? Are you keeping tabs on the Van Gaal, Mourinho scenario?

Hello ULFBERHT! Great post, I'm getting into fitnesss and conditioning this year myself. Would love to ask you about proper nutrition and recovery ideas for 3 times a week boxing training. In between I am hoping to do yoga once or twice a week, to aid my muscular recovery. It's great that you are motivated to better yourself and I will keep an eye on how you progress with your development. Maybe we can help motivate each other once I decide what I am going to commit to for the next 12-month/24-month timeframe? And yes I think it's a good idea to move your blog over here to support the site. I can see this forum becoming really large and detailed in the next 6-12 months.

I found it intellectually fantastic and really eye-opening; I must return to it again, maybe I'll get more out of it from a second read, perhaps I'll give the latter part of the book another go. The trouble is always applying things. And even I don't do so good when I get the step-by-step ways to implement. Something I must work on myself.

I think I came across it from both of them (prob Leo first) so I gave in and got it; man never ever regretted it (would have been a strange thing to regret in fairness!). It's made such a difference in my relationship. We must talk more about books and such -- we seem to have a very similar taste!

Did you get the recommend from Corey as well??

Hey Mia, I think it's a fantastic quick read. One to really put towards the top of the list. If you go to his website (google 5 love langauges) you can take the test for either a single person or a person in a relationship. They ask you 30 either or questions and you are marked out of 30, the max being 12 in any one area. Takes about 15/20 mins but can inform the rest of your life in a relationship. In my own relationship I learned that quality time was my girlfriend's love language, and words of affirmation was mine. We had broken up before due to differences we couldn't really understand but when we got back together (and we both took the test) she now makes a special effort to speak in my language, and when I am with her I give her my full, undivided attention and don't blame her for wanting to spend a lot of time together. When I can't see her, I reiterate that I want to be able to give her my full love and attention and I won't be able to do that until I have gotten other things done. She understands this as I speak it to her in the way she understands. And as I said, she is much freer with her words of affirmation, which is something that doesn't come as natually to her, but she knows it is how I express love. It's a great read whether single, dating or in a committed relationship.

Where did you hear this radical, ludicrous worldview?

Hey Joel, wow that's a great outcome if you truly feel it helps you that much. I have to ask, though -- do you think it can all be attributed to this, or could you possibly be overestimating the benefits? I'm not saying they aren't there, but I think it's important to question if one thing has as much impact as we may believe. Do you have any thoughts on other possible reasons for your health and mental benefits? John

That's interesting stuff. I am sure you know of David Deida's book, Way of the Superior man. He talks about ejaculating up the spine and I am certain he mentions developing a multiorgasmic capacity as a man towards the end of the book. Personally I've never dabbled in developing these things. I generally have stopped watching so much porn, instead fantasise about my girlfriend (I know, I am mad) and I think it's far more rewarding. I am uncertain of quitting all masturbation as an answer to everything. Maybe twice a week to no porn could be seen as healthy and not too 'draining'? As I say, maybe this year I'll see about developing some of the things you speak of. I have come across (sorry!) those ideas before and it has always interested me, through not enough to get me to make a dedicated effort. Maybe I'll look into tantric sex? Have you any experience with this?

I haven't had time to read through all of the responses. All I know is that even though forgiveness is one of my values, I don't think I am as forgiving as I would like to be. Recently realised this when blaming someone who had hurt me. Was feeding off their guilt and using that to justify my own indignation. Rational me knew better, emotional me was having his 15 minutes of fame. In any case the firestrom of blame ultimately brought me closer to this person, as I cleared the air and they also got to forgive my own childish behavour. Not that I condone my blaming but we all have weak spots and this just showed me I have more work to do lessening my ego and needing certain things, rather than being more easy going and less attached to unreasonable expectations of others. I think ego was really at the heart of it all.

From everything I see as well, people respect and value those who have that balance and choose to make time to do certain things in different areas. As you say, I've also given everything to some singluar areas before, and without the healing balance of other ones, you really can feel overwhelmed or unsatisfied.

This seems like sensible and healthy advice!

It may be on youtube, have a google and see if it's available. It's a lecture series he did where he is lecturing to an audience. He goes through all the same principles but I just found it more engaging. I think I prefer an auditory style of learning.

I had this belief a few years ago myself, when I was learning the drums. I had a big plan to practice so much I would have to become expert. Instead I got tinnitus and had to stop. The recent movie "whiplash" actually represented this obsessive drive to learn and master something very aptly. Drummers can be very focused on practice and mastery. People often decide to dedicate so much time on something and forget about burnout. Maybe it's taking the 10,000 principle and trying to shortcut or better it? I have a very close friend myself who has decided he needs to work 10 to 12 hours a day every day in order to get ahead. The stress he puts on himself is just unnecessary. A lot of it is ego, he just wants to be better (smarter etc.,) than other people. He has done this for years in various areas; it has never worked out as he really wants. One time he had a meltdown taking nacolepsy drugs trying to eridicate the need for sleep when preparing for exams. But I can't really judge him because I am capable of acting like this (well, not as extreme, perhaps) when I desire to succeed and feel like I have wasted time already. My ego tells me I need to beat others or fast forward my progress.

I read the book as a teenager and it really inspired me. Have to return to it at some stage. The audio - "Your right to be rich" - was even better. Have you heard it? Not that I have used it to transform my life just yet! Thanks for the suggestions of Bob Proctor, will have to look at all of them!

Have to be honest, I think the guy has some excellent advice. In truth I even applied his principles to heal a broken relationship and I swear to god it worked like magic. I felt amazed at how things began to happen step-by-step as he predicted they would. He really has figured out some things and given a great service to the world with his free advice. I have seen 100% how great his advice can work - but I am concerned about believing him completely. The two things I think are open to interpreting are his views on cheaters always having no integrity. I think it is an indication, of course, but people can make mistakes and grow from it. To think a person can't change ... for me it is a bit unfair. It's a big red flag - but If a girl or guy cheats on a person once, that to me doesn't mean they will always do it to another in the future. Maybe they have felt so horrible they wouldn't do it again no matter what the circumstances. I don't think this is outside the bounds of possibility. You can have less integrity with one person but more with another. There are many factors at play. The second thing I think he may not have 100% for me is the testing women may do. From my understanding, he feels you shouldn't waste time on people with a low attraction, that most people won't find you attractive no matter what you do. But perhaps if you viewed it as raising the other person's attraction and being a test, then you could have more success that way. This is just a personal thought at the moment. Maybe I am being a bit naive. I know other dating coaches see this more as a test rather than just being low interest. By challenging his system on these two points, I am basically saying I don't want to ever say one person's system is or can be 100% flawless. It could be easy for me to become a slavish devotee due to the real tangible success I had with it; but when I saw him endorse the ph diet in a video and still refer to this in later videos when it is clear, and widely shown, the author of that book is a charlatan and a conman, well, of course his advice can't be infallible. The guy he is recommending and has built into his own worldview is peddling nonsense and quackery as truth. When I see things like that, I tell myself you have to be prudent. Leo has a video up about not making an idol out of gurus and I think this made sense to me here. But as far as dating advice goes, I think it is the best I have ever came across as a step-by-step system from 0 to 10. And his advice actually saved my relationship because I knew how to act and how to stand up for myself and play it right. It took 2 months, and maybe the outcome would have always been the same, but it worked and it seemed counterintuitive. And he gives you how to play it, step-by-step. In this I think his book and videos are a master stroke. I am always recommending him to people. It is a truly life changing philosophy for men and attracting and keeping women in loving, mature relationships. Any thoughts on this?

That´s great to hear, well done! How did you feel when you fininshed the course? Did you get a clear sense of where you should be heading? Or did it feel different?

I am also not finished it, and I am also finding it hard to push through because of some fear, I am certain. Yet, I have learned a great deal from it already and I am confident I will make a burst and get it done in the next few weeks or months. Maybe I am labouring a bit, but I am also reading around the topic and not feeling rushed. Things in my life are slowly on the upturn in general and I am extremely positive about the progress I have made using the course. Ok, there´s a tangible reason I am optomistic, I have just realised. Basically, I tend to be the person that gets a course and goes through it before moving onto another one. It is simialr with hobbies or interests. I am a dabbler, in essence. That´s me, 95% of the time. The course has already given me so much and I´m 60% through it and I know I will finish it because I feel the guilt of not completing it. It is not even guilt, it is a sense of obligation to myself. And no other course really means much at the moment. Usually my interest has changed by now. That is already a huge plus to me and is evidence of some growth. And I know other people could have finished it twice by now. For me, this is slightly relative because I have such issues with focusing on things and maintaining my interest for the whole period, maintaining my enthusiasm this far - and knowing I will continue until the end - is already reward enough. That is how I am feeling about my own progress, and I am about half way through it too. So I hope that gives you some solace or perspective, if it helps. I really laboured on the first written section, the 10 passes, but the entire process was fantastic and necessary I am really looking forward to the rest of the course.

Just remembered another one, can't recall the actual title at the moment; it was about moving through your feelings when you want to feel the pain. Just sitting there and experiencing the emotions, letting them move through you, as you act like a superconductor. Actually, now that I think of it, I think it was "How to deal with strong negative emotions" (correct me if I have it wrong). I only watched the video once but I used the technique many times in helping me get over a tough breakup. It wasn't an instant fix, of course - but it really helped a little every time. More than other things I had tried.

I really am finding it hard to pick just one. "How to be attractive" is certainly up there. "How science keeps you stuck in life" and "The Secret" were two videos that answered two lingering and troubling questions that I had really been struggling with. Noone else had really addressed them like this and I was really relieved to have some answers and perspective to these questions that I didn't see other people attempting.