Phocus

@Gabrielle Agreed, amazing post.

Are you looking for a plant-based protein powder or a whole food (aka specific type of bean, ect..) that posses those qualities? Just to set a realistic expectation, numerous peer-reviewed scientific studies have concluded that the optimal amount of protein for athletes and bodybuilders is around .65-.75 grams per pound of lean mass.

If your #1 priority is digestive health then I would not recommend juicing as it removes the insoluble fiber. Just stick to blending. You can read more about the two kinds of fiber here or do your own research on blending vs juicing: http://www.webmd.com/diet/insoluble-soluble-fiber

@Sarah_Flagg Hey Sarah - I have some experience in this area as 2 years ago I made the decision to separate from my wife and our divorce was finalized in the fall of last year. At the time we separated, my son was only 8 months old. When I look back on it now, it was a very difficult decision to make. There are a lot of things that I could have done in our relationship to progress myself that I had never considered and I see some of that represented in this post and others. Leo has described marriages as "pure chimpery" and to that, I agree completely. The only thing more chimpish than marriage though, is divorce. I have seen a lot of Phocus on your husband but... this should be about you, not about him. If you do pursue a separation and divorce, you'll have to meet your own needs for fulfillment, satisfaction and purpose. You can cover it up with dating and the excitement of new relationships but... that wont last very long. Besides, that's why you got married in the first place, right? You're heading back to a road you've been down before. Discover what you truly want. If you were single RIGHT NOW, what would you be doing differently? Start doing that RIGHT NOW. Go through a mental exercise and truly imagine that you are single. Hell, you can even work out a parenting plan with your husband (while you're still married) where he takes your son 50% of the time so that your schedule is freed up to go out and do the things you think you'd be doing as a single person. The only thing you can't do is date other people, but any dating you do immediately following your separation (and probably for a year after it) is going to be complete and utter ego gratification so... I would try not to Phocus on that. You are probably feeling like your husband is an anchor at this point but, that is only true as long as you believe it to be. By doing these things (going out and exploring yourself and your interests independently) one of two things is going to happen with your marriage: you're either going to drift apart, and then a separation will be much easier and more natural or; you'll discover a greater sense of fulfillment within yourself and without those needs projected onto your husband your relationship will improve.

@Sarah_Flagg I'll get you a proper reply in a few days but in the mean time I recommend that you not make any big changes. Until then, consider: What do I REALLY gain by separating from my husband? Also:

@Sarah_Flagg So where are things now? Have you guys already separated?

Yeah, I remember the first times that my arena teams broke 2200 in 2v2 and 3v3 in WoW... hahahaha. I also ground out rank 11(Lieutenant General) back in vanilla on a high pop server while I was in the Navy but then my ship got deployed for 2 months and I lost most of it so I gave up going for rank 14 When I quit playing games I actually traded that hobby for making games. I taught myself to program from free tutorials on a website and started working on an iPhone game that was modeled after one of my favorite space games growing up (really amazing game, you can DL a free trial here). Game design has a TON of psychology involved in it and I definitely didn't appreciate the level of monitoring and manipulation that is involved in designing games. Your experience as a player is very carefully designed to keep you hooked and coming back for more . Anyways, I never actually made it to an app store release but I still have a working prototype on my phone and I have considered picking it back up recently and finishing it but... then Leo has all of this life purpose stuff and I have had stuff come up with my day job so, I am still working out where I want to commit myself to so that I can make my millions and then finally realize that it won't make me happy!

I played enormous amounts of video games throughout my childhood and into my mid 20s. Basically every Blizzard title (Diablo 2, Starcraft/SC2, Warcraft 2/3, and many many years of WoW) as well as All of the Command and Conquer titles of the early 2000s and modern MOBAs such as LoL. The most damaging aspect of video games is not the cost of actually playing the game, it is the opportunity lost by investing as much time and energy as we all do into a medium that is, ultimately, zero sum. All of your achievements are just trivial numbers in a database somewhere. The only meaning they have is what we project onto them. In my experience, the single most powerful tool that I had to break free from endless hours of mindless gaming was to change my environment. Physically move my desk around (or better yet, don't go home), do something to break that familiar routine you have of gliding on in and firing up your favorite stream of validation and purpose. There is a great book about this called The Power Of Habit that talks about how habits are processed by the brain and why they are so hard to break. @Simon Zackrisson you have to cut it off completely or you'll never make any meaningful change. Don't do it until you're really ready. If you aren't sure if you are ready or not, then I would actually suggest amping up the amount that you play and trying to pay attention to what you accomplish (or lack thereof) and thinking about what is important to you. Leo has a great video that goes through a visualization exercise of analyzing the consequences of your actions today on on your life in the future here. You need to break out of this cycle of non-acceptance. You want to be somewhere other than where you are. But you're not there. Once you fully accept that you are where you are, you can change it (if that make's sense). It wasn't until I had quit completely for about a year that I regained the ability to moderate it.

It seems like more people are interested in this subject so I'll go through and respond to your posts over in the LCHF thread here.

Send me any information you have on fat and I will read it.

Simon... buddy... You are being lied to and the more I try to show you how you're being lied to, the more aggressively you defend them. It's really kind of a sad situation. I know 3 people who have had heart attacks in the last 3 years. I know what they ate before the heart attacks. I talked to them about their diets following the heart attacks. I know how their dietary changes effected their levels of LDL cholesterol. They cut out meat, dairy, eggs and processed foods and within a few months their bad cholesterol plummets. Every. Single. Time. But you've got this scammy internet science providing misleading information so I can't tell you otherwise. You're just going to have to go experience it for yourself when either you or someone you know starts having health problems. Regardless of what anyone says or thinks, the real test is blood work. Just do yourself a favor and make sure you're getting it done.

@8LanguageStud Re: your original post; I think you'll have the best success with simply increasing the amount of casual interactions that you have... WITH EVERYONE. You don't need to have "material" or anything lined up. Just give people high fives, compliments, initiate small talk, be happy, be in a good mood, be excited to see people when they get there, if you don't know someone's name then ask them! You should make it your goal to learn everyone's name in the class. You will condition people to talk to you and then when you want to have a conversation with one girl in particular, you just talk to her and it will be natural because you're used to talking to people. It's kind of the fundamental principal of pickup. RSD Luke talks a lot about social proof so I would tentatively recommend watching some of his videos or RSD Tyler's more recent videos but I'm a bit rusty on the material they are putting out as of late. Ultimately, girls don't want to be "picked up" at the gym (as @Sarah_Flagg eluded to in her first post about feeling gross and @Anna Skywords mentioned about feeling embarrassed). Analyzing that wonderful and genuine feedback, you know that the first thing you need to do is make them feel comfortable. Always always always provide value before you ask for something. Just be there, providing good energy. They will feel it and want more. People will feel what you feel. If you feel awkward, they are going to feel ULTRA AWKWARD. Hell, even if you don't feel awkward they might still feel awkward at first. Once those walls have broken down, then you can take things a step further "Hey, I'm going to a bar with some friends, you're all invited". Again, women want emotional stimulation. Stop focusing on the outcome and instead on just enjoying the process and your results will take care of themselves.

@Simon Zackrisson Oh lord. This is the equivalent of trying to debate with a smoker whether or not smoking causes lung cancer and then referencing studies performed by tabaco companies as evidence that it doesn't. Honestly, I would spend the hour to two that it takes to point out all of the logical fallacies I just read and link more studies and explain the studies I already linked if I thought you were open to changing your view point. If you want to eat fat, go eat fat. Just do yourself a favor and get regular blood work done so you don't end up with a surprise stroke or heart attack by the time you're 35 from advanced atherosclerosis. Besides, if it turns out that every single cardiologist and heart surgeon in the entire world and the last 40 years of medical research performed in every country around the world are wrong, then you'll have documented evidence that proves it! I am not saying that can't eat meat; you can have a perfectly healthy diet eating fish, meat, cheese, dairy, ect... But a diet based on consuming the quantities of saturated fat described on that website are just not advisable. Or you're just trolling someone who is genuinely trying to help you. In which case... you got me! Google: define atherosclerosis "a disease of the arteries characterized by the deposition of plaques of fatty material on their inner walls." deposition of plaques of fatty material on their inner walls plaques of fatty material fatty material FAT

@Zackk

I don't think it is exclusively chimpish behavior, but everyone that I have ever known who has participated in it, did so for very chimpish reasons. So... if you're considering it or currently participating in it, be aware that you're more likely the rule than the exception and it may be a good opportunity for introspection

Go ahead and run that one by your wife. Let us know what her thoughts are on the subject

@Navyissuedwife I also married fairly young, 24. Divorced at 28. Our son was 8 months when I initiated the divorce. I had less than no idea what I was doing in life and our relationship was horribly dysfunctional. We had absolutely no business getting married or having kids. And I met my ex-wife in the Navy while we were deployed to the middle east I don't think that divorce is necessarily the answer but... he needs to learn how to be a man. I don't really know a nice way to say it. He should be the leader in your relationship. I don't mean that in a sexist way, but simply that he should have a sense of purpose. He is compelled to pursue something passionately and you guys are together to support one another in accomplishing your shared and individual goals. When he is calling you all the time and all of that stuff, he's acting extremely feminine which absolutely crushes even the possibility for you to be attracted to him because he is acting like a woman, and you are attracted to men. Mechanistically, there is nothing stopping him from developing himself (develop a sense of purpose, be independent, passionate, confident, ect..). Unfortunately, major long-term change usually won't happen without some sort of major life event (divorce) that requires it. You probably hear it all the time but... people don't change. I know that I am a completely different person now that I've had a few years to be single and have sought out my own path.

@Simon Zackrisson Hey Simon - I looked into the website you posted (http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf) and this dietary advice is very concerning and looks extremely unhealthy from the perspective of something that is sustainable long term. Especially considering that many scientific studies have concluded that saturated fat increases LDL (bad) cholesterol which causes heart disease! Study showing increase of LDL (bad) cholesterol caused by meat consumption: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7019459 Study showing the correlation of LDL (bad) cholesterol and heart disease: http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/108/22/2757.full.pdf Additional information on Heart Disease http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1312295/#B1 The American Heart Association recommends consuming less than 7% of total daily calories from fat which equates to 16 grams of fat per day, based on a 2,000 calorie per day diet here . Below is an excerpt from the website as to what the diet permits: 3. What to Eat Eat all you like Meat: Any type, including beef, pork, game meat, chicken, etc. Feel free to eat the fat on the meat as well as the skin on the chicken. If possible try to choose organic or grass fed meat. Fish and shellfish: All kinds: Fatty fish such as salmon, mackerel or herring are great. Avoid breading. Eggs: All kinds: Boiled, fried, omelettes, etc. Preferably organic eggs. Natural fat, high-fat sauces: Using butter and cream for cooking can make your food taste better and make you feel more satiated. Try a Béarnaise or Hollandaise sauce, check the ingredients or make it yourself. Coconut oil and olive oil are also good options. Vegetables that grow above ground: All kinds of cabbage, such as cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage and Brussels sprouts. Asparagus, zucchini, eggplant, olives, spinach, mushrooms, cucumber, lettuce, avocado, onions, peppers, tomatoes etc. Dairy products: Always select full-fat options like real butter, cream (40% fat), sour cream, Greek/Turkish yogurt and high-fat cheeses. Be careful with regular milk and skim milk as they contain a lot of milk sugar. Avoid flavored, sugary and low-fat products. Nuts: Great for a TV treat instead of candy (ideally in moderation). Berries: Okay in moderation, if you are not a super strict or sensitive. Great with whipped cream. To highlight some particularly concerning "rules" for this diet: "Eat All you like" "Feel free to eat the fat on the meat as well as the skin on the chicken" "Natural fat, high-fat sauces: Using butter and cream for cooking can make your food taste better and make you feel more satiated. Try a Béarnaise or Hollandaise sauce, check the ingredients or make it yourself. Coconut oil and olive oil are also good options." "Always select full-fat options like real butter, cream (40% fat), sour cream, Greek/Turkish yogurt and high-fat cheeses. Be careful with regular milk and skim milk as they contain a lot of milk sugar" Just using your own intuition, does it makes sense that to achieve optimal health someone should consume large amounts of saturated fatty foods such as cooked animal fat, animal skin, eggs (I address eggs below), whole fat dairy products and creams but RESTRICT the quantities of things consumed such as fruits, beans, whole grain rice, lentils, quinoa, peas and oats? There have been numerous studies that have correlated the consumption of animal products to heart disease and a multitude of cancers (including one of the largest observational studies ever conducted called The China Study here). Now I realize that people are able to lose weight and stabilize or reverse diabetes but that probably has more to do with removing the enormous quantities of refined sugar that are present in the SAD than it does with consuming gluttonous amounts of deadly saturated fat. They are offering an enormous amount of (scientifically bad) dietary and cooking advice... for free. They do not have any advertisements on their site and they are not selling any products. They also employ a staff of PHDs who cost hundreds of thousands of dollars per year each. I won't speculate any further. @otoumie Below is some information about the health risks associated with consuming eggs: http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=92 "While organizations like the American Heart Association (AHA) allow for regular consumption of eggs in a meal plan, they typically warn that eggs are difficult to include because of their high cholesterol content and potential for increasing risk of heart disease. For persons with health blood cholesterol levels not needing cholesterol-lowering drugs, the AHA recommends a maximum of 300 milligrams of cholesterol per day from food. Since one conventionally produced egg contains about 180-220 milligrams of cholesterol, about two-thirds of the daily limit gets used up by consumption of one egg..." Also, here is some information about what cholesterol is: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/hbc "Your body needs some cholesterol to make hormones, vitamin D, and substances that help you digest foods. Your body makes all the cholesterol it needs. However, cholesterol also is found in some of the foods you eat." There is no amount of dietary cholesterol that is "good" for you, although, just like other toxins and things that we ingest our bodies are capable of processing small amounts of it without experiencing very many negative side effects. That being said, if you're designing a diet for optimal health, is it better to include only small amounts of health damaging substances or none at all?

@Markus If you don't already, you should really try doing yoga. I have run and lifted weights for years (along with playing virtually every sport out there) and I'm extremely tight and doing hot yoga (hatha) once a week changed that dramatically.

@chris_crunch Let me try to expand on what @Henri said and give some suggestions. Yes, there are consequences for your actions, as you've stated. Knowing that though, what I try to do is be strategically well slept and nourished so that when I want to stay up late or do other things that are not the best for me, my body is well rested and fed and can easily handle the additional stress without experiencing too many negative side effects. Sure, you are going to stay up late, drink, eat crappy food once in a while. What are you doing the other 6 days/nights of the week? Are you eating a high quality diet that primarily consists of good energy sources (like beans, rice, lentils, oats, fruits and vegetables) and getting 8+ hours of sleep? Probably not. If you take good care of yourself 90% of the time, your body shouldn't have any trouble dealing with the occasional night of fun. Where you run into problems is when you skimp on sleep/nutrition throughout the week AND party on the weekends (little sleep, bad food, alcohol). Hopefully this helps.

@Free Spirit To answer your question bluntly, stop eating meat, dairy, eggs and highly refined foods with lots of sugar or oils. There is no amount of dietary cholesterol that is "good" for you. Our bodies make all of the cholesterol we need. Cholesterol is only found in meat, eggs and other animal products and eating foods with high amounts of refined sugar and saturated fat promote "bad" cholesterol. http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/hbc "Your body needs some cholesterol to make hormones, vitamin D, and substances that help you digest foods. Your body makes all the cholesterol it needs. However, cholesterol is also found in some of the foods you eat." Phocus on eating plant based foods beans rice peas lentils oats fruits vegetables

Think about the level of satiation that you're experiencing when you eat. After you eat a meal, do you feel full and satisfied? I had/have similar cravings but I noticed that when I switched to a plant-based diet that these cravings were reduced greatly. If I eat some kind of sugary junk food, I tend to want it more. If I eat a large balanced meal that doesn't contain processed/refined garbage, I am full and satisfied and don't think about it as much. Perhaps also analyze the conditions that are present when you experience those cravings. I know lots of time people get bored and eat out of habit or for entertainment.

Soylent is not going to have any kind of long term scientific data to support if it can replace eating solid foods so, you have to evaluate it based on some principals and make your own decision from there: Most types of shakes/drinks of this nature tend to be somewhat calorie-dense and offer a lower amount of satiation. Our stomachs have "sensors" in them that detect how much it has stretched, how full it is and the density, or richness, of the food contained in it. When you eat 400 calories of rice, potatoes, vegetables, beans, fruit, ect.. your stomach is going to be physically full because it takes a lot of those products to reach that many calories. For example, 1 pound of sweet potatoes is only 400 calories. You're going to feel very full after eating that and not be hungry for a while. Now, if you drink a 400 calorie shake, that is not going to be as voluminous or heavy (even though it contains the same amount of calories, or "energy") and so you'll feel hungry sooner which can lead to over eating. Now, we also have to consider the practical application. Is Soylent better than pizza? Yes. We are humans. I think the 190 billion dollar fast food industry in the USA proves that convenience is CRITICALLY important when it comes to the dietary decisions that we make every day. My advice would be to use something like Soylent as it's intended, which is as a supplement. It should supplement your daily intake of whole foods, but your diet should primarily consist of high quality staples such as oats, rice, beans, peas, lentils, fruits and vegetables.

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/hbc "Your body needs some cholesterol to make hormones, vitamin D, and substances that help you digest foods. Your body makes all the cholesterol it needs. However, cholesterol also is found in some of the foods you eat." And Agreed, I definitely don't want to argue either. Just trying to offer my perspective and give a little bit of an explanation for why i believe the things that I do.