MM1988

@blazed Im not gullible or after super powers, I just read that article for some other reason and thought if OSHO dares me to do this experiment why not be open minded and try it haha.

But you are still naive and gullible if anyone with a mental condition who hasnt meditated 10 minutes in his life, has deluded himself into being enlightened comes here, rambles about extra terrestrials and you all hail him and congratulate him on his progress.

Wow, how can Leo and you all take this stuff seriously? OP and this "arcturus ra" guy are a prime example of shizophrenic ramblings. And I mean this seriously, check out the famous timecube website made by a shizophrenic: timecube.2enp.com Would you take this also serious? Notice any simmilarities? This is exactly the same on a less serious level, probably undiagnosed.

I'm this boring average emotionless guy. I'm always slightly depressed, slightly low confidence, never really had a girlfriend or a sex life. I just go to work sit on my desk, at weekends I drink at a bar and thats my life. I never had any big trauma in my life that made me that way. I just cant grasp myself, who I am as a human. Ive been meditating daily for a year now, did psychedelics, breathwork. I thought something might come up that gives me an understanding of who I am, some emotional trauma, why Im depressed, cant attract women, why I am like I am and how I could start to finally live my life. But I never had anything happen, during meditation I feel nothing but a slight depressed state, even on LSD I felt altered but no relavations or anything, just my usual thoughts going on. Its as if nobody is there behind my eyes. I have no idea what kind of person I am and why. I started this whole spirituality thing over a year ago and sometimes I feel nothing changed, I see no upwards trend. Anybody else feel like this?What could I try to speed up my personal development?

Caffeine 100% has an affect on anxiety. Usually you dont notice this in everyday life because it is so mild. I suffered from a panic attack once and the days after I was hyper sensitive to everything and anxious. I swear to god I just drank a cup of green tea (which has such a low caffeine content that people usually feel nothing at all) and I felt my anxiety coming back immediately and was on the edge to another panic attack. It took a while and now Im able to drink coffee normaly again but man I was afraid to drink even a red bull for weeks after that. Its also really bad for meditation in my opinion, because for me it doesnt give me a clean focused stimulation (which would be a good thing for mediation) but a very "shaky" one. On days where I drank too much coffee my meditation sessions are usually shallow and hard to get through.

I smoked 5 years daily and just stopped one day cold turkey. Just 2-3 days with weird dreams and some craving during the day. Cannabis was a really easy habit to kick for me.

This is what all the masters say, just be "present" but what should the average western person do with this information? Maybe it looks like that from the perspective of the enlightened, but what should I do now? Substances at least are a straight forward way to do this work, you take it and watch.

Sure, why not. I guess it just shouldnt be pop/rock or something like that. Something monotone and relaxing should work, like meditation music or even techno.

Why would they be attracted to high consciousness tho. Attraction is based on survival and this work here does the exact opposite.

im not giving girls the blame but culture, in previous generations men had some economic value so having a good job and being a provider was enough for some women. Plus women only had a choice out of the guys she knew. Today every women has an endless list of guys fighting for her and she only selects the guys with the best genetics because thats the only thing left a guy can "provide".

I was not prepared for how stimulating it is, be prepared to be up for up to 24 hours. There is a certain difference between chemical drugs like amphetamine and pure plants like weed or kratom, you can just sense it. LSD definitely feels chemical to me. I know people will disagree with me here but have a beer or two ready if it gets too much, alcohol acts basically like benzodiazepine which mellows out a trip. If I would be doing it again the first time I would be taking a very light dose at first. When you hear about LSD you think of the visuals but the visuals are really a very small part of it and werent event that great for me, the effect on the mind is much more pronounced, that also came as a suprise. The major effects may be gone after 6 hours but you are definitely slightly tripping for 12 at least and even then you dont feel quite normal until you get some sleep. As I said I had really bad insomnia for which I was not prepared I was up a whole night and then the whole next day and I felt like shit.

How many people go into work and do the same thing for 8 hours everyday? I'd rather play music 2 hours a night for a few years and be well off than waste day after day in an office just to live month-to-month. Not because I chase money but because I want it off my mind and rather work on my art and myself.

On an MDMA comedown I can close my eyes and see things that I imagine hyper realistic with a lot of details. I could imagine opening a book and I will be able to read whole pages, its usually random words strung together that make little sense. Crazy what the mind can come up with instantly, I think this is somehow related to how the brain creates dreams.

I dont understand how stoicism fits within concepts like ego, meditations and enlightenment. Do they contradict each other? Were the stoics suffering besides having all these theories about a happy life?

Some parallels I noticed: - The focus on internal rather than external - The focus on present - The "surrender" to (your) nature - Being honest, dont gossip aka playing ego games - Not chasing pleasures, seeing them as indifferent - Being indifferent about death The question remains, why are there so many parallels? Does all personal growth point to enlightenment? Why? Do people intuit it?

Leo has been every pedophile that has ever lived and also every child that was molested

@Girzo Maybe its possible, I guess (hope) Epictetus was pretty content with his life despite being a slave and having his feet broken.

I know how the red pill movement could help me personally in self actualization. Because the dating market became so fucked due to social media girls are pickier than ever today, which means average guys soon wont be able to get a relationship at all. I know on a intellectual level wanting to get laid is just ego and survival instinct but you cant just skip maslows pyramid like that. If I had a normal dating life I could cross that off, transcend it and go full on on my meditation, so its always in the back of my head and I try to not think about it while working on myself. If the red pill movement could help fight this shallow dating market Im all for it. I dont care about the misogynistic and alpha male stuff though.

To the video "Understanding Emotions - Part 1" there was never a part 2. "Metaphysical Implications Of Godel's Incompleteness Theorem - Part 1" also. The Gödel one is more recent but the one about Emotions is 2 years old, will this ever be wrapped up? Maybe it would be a nice idea to revisit some old topics with the new insights that were gained in the meantime.

I did it recently for a bit over 21 days. I visualized myself being more confident. I still have my days were I completely fall back into my depressed state and feel like shit about myself and feel like all this did nothing. But I think they got a bit fewer, and I think what he said in the book is true, if you cant even visualize it it wont happen in real life, so it doesnt mean you are cured but its at least a first step in the right direction. The relaxation exercises in the book are also good and I still use them .

Not for me but I rarely had such moments you describe on weed. When I started it made me relaxed and everything more fun. Than after some years of daily smoking paranoid. People say you learn even from bad trips, Ive had dozens of shitty paranoid "weed trips" and I feel like I gained nothing from it. My desire to do it has gone from daily smoker to zero, and thats too bad because its a really powerful and relatively harmless drug. Daily smoking is not good but I wish I could enjoy it again once in a while.

I tried it 3 times and couldnt do it for more than 15 minutes, my hands and chest get numb and it feels kinda weird. Afterwards I like to lay and stare at the ceiling. The day after I cried for the first time in years for no reason reall,, I think thats a good thing. I'm a very unemotional pragmatic IT guy, it felt good to me. Powerful technique, I was suprised I thought nothing would happen honestly.

The last couple of weeks ive been having some very vivid dreams and I wake up at least once per night. Todays dream really got me thinking. It was me and some other guys in some kind of mall armed with machine guns, running around to fight terrorists or whatever who are coming for us. In the dream it was basically clear from the start that we wont come out alive out of this. I was absolutely terrified. When my machine gun gave up and I lost the others I locked myself into a toilet room and tried to kill myself, because I thought that would be better than being tortured by terrorists. I tried stuffing toilet paper in my mouth to suffocate myself or just lying down and stopping to breath but I just couldnt do it (why didnt I save a bullet, dreams lol). I felt this existential dread and it was so vivid I thought if I killed myself I was going to die for real. Of course at some point I woke up and everything came rushing back to me again, how stupid I was that I was afraid to die in that reality. I wonder if you have a simmilar "waking up" experience if you die in this reality as well.

Sorry but you cant rap, it sounds like you just read something off a paper, no emotion. You have no flow and you are off the beat. Just my honest criticism, i hope you get better. Cant say anything about the lyrics because i didnt listen to it that much.

some people cant due to genetics, thats his point