Arthur

There are no other people, really. There's only one stream of consciousness happening right Now. You only have one experience, one awareness of the present. The projection of consciousness onto others is only a thought happening right Now. Whatever isn't in your direct field of awareness doesn't exist. Technically, it "exists" but only as a thought occurring in the Now. This field of consciousness is not yours or anybody's. it isn't associated with a body or a place and time. Its simply a play of appearances in emptiness. but it sure seems like its "your" life, and that its very important, and that there are other people, etc. Its extremely hard to see through this, but Psychedelics can shows you.

Sounds like you're both clinging to some romance in the past. That experience is recreated and idealized and by your mind. I think you're attached to an idea of each other, rather than the real-life person. Our mind likes to spin stories and fairy tails about a perfect partner who fits into all the boxes, but reality can be very different. It becomes a matter of what you can accept in your partner. Try to look very objectively at the person you're with. Without any neediness and attachment to the past, decide whether you want to be with this person. Assume they will never change, and things will never go back as they were in the past, will it still be worth it?

I had the same experience when I first started experimenting with 5-meo. My trips were terrible. I was scared, anxious, it was uncomfortable, and I wanted it to stop. It gets worst before it gets better. The first time can be brutal until you break through. Once you on the other side, its pure bliss. The breakthrough actually changed my relationship with the substance. Every consecutive trip was pleasant and therapeutic regardless of the dose or the substance. 5-MeO amplifies what you feel inside. If you're new to psychedelics, you will have internal baggage and bad karma that will get burned. I went through total hell on my first trips. Its just how the substance works, there's no free lunch here. Yet it's the best thing I've ever done. Living a higher consciousness lifestyle and being inturned with spirituality will reduce the negative side effects for sure. Leo was pretty developed when he first did 5-meo, hence it wasn't as bad for him. But form personal experience, and the majority of reports I've read, the first attempts usually go bad. I recommend you spend a few months getting over your ex, then get your life together by quitting video games and porn. Then go back to 5-meo and commit to 10 trips with increments in dosage.

if plugging is too much effort, how do you plan on surrendering your life?

Thanks everyone! I think another nice thing about DPT is that it's not very popular. It's not strictly speaking illegal in most countries, and the prices are lower than 5-MeO. It's the regular N, N-Dipropyltryptamine, I haven't tried the analogs.

I wanted to experiment with DPT ever since Leo introduced this psychedelic. I finally got my opportunity, and let me tell you how amazing this substance is! I tripped many times with 5-meo in the past. I have spiritual practices in place and a pretty healthy psyche overall. Trying DPT felt like a natural next step. I've done 4 trips so far, at 20, 30, 50 and 70 mg, all plugged. As soon as the effects started to come up, I immediately recognize a very familiar sensation to 5-meo. My consciousness has been amplified up by a factor of 1000. A warm blanket of love came over me, and I've melted into blissfulness. I wanted to come back there ever since I took 5-meo. My consciousness became very lucid, and it was easy to see it for what it is! All the thoughts, emotions, sensations and objects are simply consciousness in disguise. The seriousness of life became laughable, as though my life story was just a play of visuals in emptiness. I went through instances of my entire life and saw them as manifestations of awareness. My existence became very impersonal. I wasn't the experiencer anymore, I was the canvas and the paint itself. It was so beautiful and joyous. Here is my perspective on how DPT and 5-MeO compare: The higher dosage of DPT made it a tad more difficult to dissolve in water. More water was required and I ended up with a larger volume, not a big issue. DPT has a stronger body aspect to it. It feels very much like a detox for the body and the mind. At the onset, I had slight nausea and a sensation of buzz in my head. Throughout the trip, I often felt like vibrating. It was quite pleasant, especially with The Psychedelic Muse playing softly in the background. I tripped on an empty stomach, so the nausea was manageable as well. DPT left me in the body, while 5-MeO, especially on breakthroughs, completely blasted me out of this world. On DPT, I could function and felt present and aware. It was slow and mellow, as opposed to 5-MeO, which hits you like lighting and leaves you drooling on the bed in a fetal position. DPT is excellent for contemplation. Insights were bombarding me all the time. My mind was on steroids, penetrating every aspect of my life, past and future. I was also able to connect deeply with Leo's teaching. Love and consciousness immediately came up as the highest virtue in life. There is absolutely nothing that comes close to Love. My compassion for myself, and everyone, was enormous. Tears started rolling down my face when I realized how much people are disconnected from this. DPT trips are much longer than 5-MeO. I was surprised by how long this state of consciousness lasted. It also felt like time slowed down. My mind was actively cycling through insights, while my body was vibrating and exploding with energy. As you can imagine, after 2-hours of this, it became a bit exhausting . But afterwards, I felt so refreshed, as though I did a week of non-stop meditation. Insights from 5-meo arose only at the come-down, which was short-lasting, but with DPT they kept coming for hours. Overall, it was positive and therapeutic. The love and joy I felt were beyond even the deepest orgasm. I think breaking through on 5-meo altered my psychedelic experiences. My very first 5-meo trips were a total nightmare, but all the consecutive ones were pleasant. It's was definitely worth getting to this point. I'm extremely lucky and grateful to have these experiences.

@RiverFlower I think the following will work better for you: Get pure 5-MeO, not the toad bufo stuff. Commit to at least 10 trips. Increment the dose just enough to push yourself, but not to the point of scaring yourself away from the substance. Do it by yourself, no shaman, no partner, not anybody. Use plugging as RoA. Make a journal and write at least one-two pages after every trip.

I think it's the latter. Its an ego backlash because you're restraining yourself too much. When I tried nofap, the benefits just continued to compound throughout the month. Even after the 30days, they persisted. Either take a break from nofap and try again later, or distract yourself from the fact that you are doing it all together. It works great if you have a project or a goal to achieve. You can channel the energy and get a lot accomplished. Also when you're busy, the mind won't come up with all that negative crap. If you don't have a work project, physical exercises every day do the trick.

You might have tried this one as well, but I recommend Oregano oil. Its natural antibiotic and anti-inflammatory that also helps with stomach issues.

Fish uses tools Fish mastered a new element Cuttlefish are awesome

Just glancing over some of your posts, you seem like an intelligent and eloquent guy. You have some deep insights in your journal. I also sense a bit of Spyral Dynamics Blue tendencies in you, which is totally normal giving your culture and upbringing. If you can, I would make attempts to distance myself from the culture and family and maybe consider moving to a different country, Take a looks at your spiritual beliefs, if you sense morals involved, rationalizing, or denying some desire or part of yourself, those are the ones you have to stay away from. Anytime your mind spins a story that makes you feel bad, divided, dirty, unworthy or worthy, judgemental etc. - that's coming from a blue moralistic mind. Also don't focus too much on others, not about what they think or don't think. To assimilate Orange, one needs to start focusing solely on their own improvement, to the point of narcissism and mania. Being more "selfish" and self-centred is actually a great thing for Blue! it moves you up the spiral and out of constantly living in the shadow of somebody watching over your head. Ironically, a selfish Orange guy who lives for himself does a lot less evil than a Blue spiritual man pretending to be righteous.

I get where you're coming from. I am in a similar position - grew up without a masculine father, people pleaser, raised in a foreign country. It's going to be more challenging, but also, twice as rewarding when you actually tap into the masculine. Don't beat yourself about it, It takes a lot of life experience. It's true that in the late 20s - early 30s is when you really connect with that energy. But having that desire already puts you ahead of many men. The intention is all you need. For me, a big shift happened when I left the country I was raised in. I was so fed up with the culture and the atmosphere, that I just said fuck it! I left my old life, friends, girlfriend, car, carrier prospects etc. It was the most challenging and the greatest decision of my life. Right after I made that decision I discovered personal development. That's why I think going your own way is super important, no matter the cost. Some of Leo's older content is gold when it comes to building yourself as a man.

@Don Wei Masculine energy grows from overcoming challenges, going out of your comfort zone and following your life's mission. You have to be going through struggles and grow yourself constantly. Difficult times in life are not necessarily bad. They can stem from unconsciousness, and those are bad, but the higher quality ones happen when you overcome a challenge that reshapes your self-image and builds you up. Masculine is also about knowing who you are as a person, your strengths and weaknesses, and your direction in life. You have to go where YOU want to go, and never bend for anybody, not family, not friends, not culture and definitely not women.

I've been thinking about this as I got out of my last relationship. Few things come to mind for a long term partner: Personality compatibility - a partner has to be of a complementary personality type. The cognitive function stack has to be reversed - polar opposite. That way, there is more attraction, and the strengths of one can cover the weaknesses of another. (In Socionics its called a "Dual" relationship) Level of consciousness - there's no measuring stick for that, but you can usually sense how conscious a person is. Even if personalities don't match, the consciousness level alone can establish a good relationship. This includes Spyral Dynamics as well, the same stage will mean the same goals, interests, etc. Feminine / Masculine polarity - I think this one is pretty big for sexual intimacy. Even with a matching personality and level of consciousness, no sexual attraction will happen if both are in their masculine or feminine. I know looks suppose to be a big thing for guys, but I didn't even put it on the list. It's important to an extent, but I'd take a 6 that will match me on those 3, rather than a 9 any day.

this is how I see it: people on streets doing violence - blue/red thugs the media and people at home cheering up - green

There is truth in what he's saying. The masculine core grows through challenges, life purpose, self-sacrifice, presence and centeredness. The Feminine (the world) is always testing the masculine. Anytime you lose touch with groundedness and presence, you have tapped into your feminine. These are the two polarities consciousness manifests as. Although they are imaginary, those forces are incredibly powerful. The feminine is appearance, change, and flow. The ultimate masculine gives himself up to the world, surrenders his Ego, and achieves freedom -Enlightenment. Masculine men feel most alive, and at their core, through hardship and challenges. Inspired by "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida.

This is a move to provoke Iran into action, which in turn, will justify a more devastating military crusade by the US. Its a devilish and sneaky plan. I hope Iranians will not give in to what warmongers really want.

I had a very similar experience in my first few trips. Non-stop torture, extreme body load, agonizing discomfort feeling of dying and terror. It was so bad, I wanted to craw out of my skin, but just like you've described, there was no possibility of surrender. It was un-doubtedly the worst experience of my life. Luckily some higher wisdom hinted that I should keep going, that it was a purification process. It's as if the substance is testing your determination to see if you're worthy. It's not a magic pill at all. For me, it crammed many years of discomftable spiritual grows with meditation routine in a few minutes The following trip after the nightmare I had my breakthrough, which was unbelievable.

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