Torkys

Don't make ego the greatest antagonist of your life! Yes, the ego is the cause of all suffering, ignorance, and evil - it is actually all of these things. Despite all of this, the ego seperated itself from the Absolute (Love, Light, Truth, Peace) to seek the Absolute! The ego's greatest desire is it's own death but being ignorant and thinking it can get God without dying makes him terrified of death. There is only Divine Will - calling the ego back to Source - and even your ego's desire is Divine Will. Base your life on purification (= discomfort × equanimity) and make friends with your ego - it your greatest companion in the search of enlightenment. If you have any questions or need any help, feel free to tag me or shoot me a PM Love and Light

If it doesn't feel good to you, it's not (yet) right for you. Until you aren't drawn towards observing your breath, you are building up resistance in the name of releasing it - that's just stupid. As @DMM710 said, try the Do Nothing technique. I hated breath awareness and meditation until I tried the technique. Great beginner technique, it's fully effortless.

@Truth This ?? You do not make it OK to others project on you which is in itself a projection of your needs onto others. This is completely understandable though. You want love and you deserve it.

@MarkusSweden Death and Truth are of many of the ego's greatest desires.

Beauty = Love = Truth = Light = Purity = Absolute = God

May unconditional love dawn upon you, brother! ?

@Martin123 I laughed so hard my body literally dropped on the bed which was fortunately next to me I love you but you will only deserve it if you start that (cult) religion of peace, non violence and loads of guns.

@Martin123 Let's form a Love Getto on this forum - on Gangster Planet I will watch the video soon.

Welcome to the forum! Let me ask you two questions: Who is judging things by their relation to ego? Who is trying to avoid unnecessary activities? People here - especially the newbies of enlightenment work - usually look at the ego as the enemy. This will get you actually further from enlightenment because the ego turning against itself is ego itself! The ego actually wants to hold onto aspects of God - invulnerability, utter tranquility, love. etc. - but it misinterprets them. When the question is dissolving the ego, Love Is The Only Answer At some point in your journey of becoming aware, just being conscious will be the most beautiful thing you could do - or not do. Why do you - the ego - need to fill your free time? Again, ego is just like a sidekick of yours who never gets things right - but for this, it deserves love not hate. Wanting to please others is still ego. But yet again, attachment and the pleasing of your ego are not problems! Your ego got onto this path because it thinks it will get something out of it - this is still ego! Follow your bliss. The ego will manage the activity or the way you think about it when it encounters resistance.

If you concentrate intensely enough, even the subtle thoughts dissappear. And if you can, why not develop concentration to that degree?

The rep point system has its advantages and disadvantages - it's not black and white, it's non-dual Alot of its positive and negative sides you have already mentioned. A big problem with it is that alot of people - including me - looked at reputation points as a way to see who is a credible source and trying to get more of it. Both of these are very limiting. I would suggest reforming the system. I have talked about one option in the thread about deleting rep points and I still think it's a good system: I suggest adding agree, insightful, funny and beautiful buttons. You can suggest other ones too. With this system, you could add the 1-4 reaction(s) a person gets below their profile picture but this could also cause people to assume things about other forum members. I also support adding more subforums and creating chat rooms (maybe with audio as well). The latter will make people less likely to use other platforms to talk which is a huge interest of moderators and Leo.

This is saying that ego is useless Resistance is only there to be given the Love of Light.

Why do you assume that he can't meditate for 30 days straight without forcing himself? Just that he made this decision shows his dedication to his work. He is dissolving his ego here; even if he meets heavy resistance on the way it is to be faced and destroyed - if he does that, he is doing meditation for the purpose it was designed to do.

You can observe resistance and ego in the behavior of animals. That is what's driving them to survive. And if an owl knew what that little squirrel is going through he would rather die

Seeing the benevolent intention and inevitability of people's actions will automatically create compassion and love in you. Look at very severe cases. Go all the way with it.

I just finished my weirdest meditation session ever. Timer set for 30 minutes, laying down, I start doing the Do Nothing technique. For a few minutes, my mind wanders off then it starts thinking about my life purpose ("to let God take over me and awaken Darkness through me") and I am reminded of the inevitable consequence of aligning myself with it - my (psychological) death. I almost started crying while mentally asking God for my death and the end of my suffering. I started shaking which is normal when I meditate but I was shaking more and it released more emotions than usual. After like 10 minutes, it stopped, my mind activity slowed down drastically for a minute and then the strangest thing started happening - I felt like I was spinning. This is ironic because I tried whirling today. When I resisted the nausea, it got worse - I got the impression that God doesn't care about suffering and only wants you to surrender. This thought coming up while this was happening to me made perfect sense. With time, the spinning became more pronounced, I felt I was sinking and being taken somewhere. Other than my anxious thoughts - I thought this will lead me to my death - and slowly growing resistance this was the only thing in my experience. It was powerful and surreal, I can not describe it. After 15 minutes, I got up completely confused and helpless. What the actual fuck was this?

@Solace This didn't seem like a reward. Even though I have been on the healing journey for some time now and made significant improvements to my methods recently (purification being my life purpose), this seemed scary. I would prefer omniscience as a gift, thank you, Universe.

@egoless I am special program activated

Then don't fight the mind, let it do whatever it wishes to do; use the Do Nothing technique

I feel like your only obstacle is knowing whether or not this is just your ego playing tricks on you. "The Ego wants to bring Heaven to Earth not realizing that for this his death is required." You are only confused because you don't know if the acceptance of your family or Source is your shinier Heaven - you will egotistically any way you choose, that's not a question. I am dealing with a similar problem, it's hard, I know but you need to have the foresight to see that crushing that resistance towards the rejection from your family (which @cirkussmile explained really well) and going towards Source is getting you closer to the thing you want no matter how egotistical it is - your death.

Then you did the best thing you could to recover and you would be proud of yourself. I doubt your would feel like this if you truly accepted and loved fully though.

This is a limiting belief, my fellow. Bust through it. Embody your wisdom, don't believe in your thoughts Ever since you experienced peace / silent mind while meditating, you started chasing it. This is completely understandable and inevitable, I can't blame you for that. I still suggest accepting more or loving more if you are capable but don't make ego and resistance your enemies. The very reason resistance is there is because you resist it. Learn to authentically accept it and love it.

@Nahm Did it at least feel good?

Unless you start resisting hell. Purification = Discomfort × Equanimity "The door to Heaven is always open" - Matt Kahn I can't imagine what you have been going through but there is Light at the end of the tunnel. You can get there, the only difficulty is that you have more resistance to conquer than the average person. Allow any emotion that comes to you. Pump the amount of meditation (preferably Do Nothing), the amount of nature you get and acceptance up. Only keep the training wheels which you would crash without. Love is the way.