lostmedstudent

Great report, as always. Thanks for sharing i would like to know what you guys think of this long report someone else shared on the forum a few days ago@billiesimon @tedens @Leo Gura @Dand i saw your responses already https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=62070

Wow interesting ill read more in detail tomorrow but i would also love hear some psychonauts and Leo’s perspective on this thanks for sharing

Could you expand on this one please ?

@livg7046 how old is your son? From what we know so far, kids tend to have very mild symptoms, if any. And complications are extremely rare if the kid has no major health issue. Dont beat yourself up for it now. See what you can do to be more forgiving and loving

how to do that? does it also mean follow your impulses and all your desires?

how do we know if it is really what the heart wants, or if it was just a " impulsive desire"? really well said. there are many things in life that my heart wants, and i dont even dare to think/explore that possibility because of fear and change. thank you

@Raptorsin7 and its really short, i finished 1 week of lecture today in under 2h.

Im taking the Yale's happiness class, as shared on this forum and i did the VIA strength questionnaire https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register i find the strenghs that are lower on the list interesting as those are areas which i can work to improve / embody! just wanted to share this quick one

@Raptorsin7 i only started today! Ill get back to you in a few days but its mostly exercises so far. The class was actually 10min of lecture, then a bunch of practical exercises to do for the whole week until next week lecture

@Serotoninluv nice i looked it up and turns out ive been doing very similar stuff! Stretching is indeed very meditative

3 days in and i already see improvement! Still cant touch my toes haha. i do 3-4 different hamstring stretch, then 3 hip stretches, a bit of quads, calves, then foam roller after my run.

Merci beaucoup everyone

@StarStruck could you share?

@Hansu Thanks for the article! Interesting! My lower body muscle should be strong, i run 4-5 times a week. i will start 30min ofdaily stretching and see where that takes me @DrewNows how does bad diet affect flexibility?

Thanks for sharing! Just saw this. I will sign up too how did it go for those who started last month?

Great thread! i love running. I started when i was 17 and just kept running longer and more frequently ever since. It gets me out a rut instantly, a magical mood switcher. And its a sport in which i can constantly push myself and do the things i wasnt able to do the week or the day before. It puts me in touch with nature too. I love trying new methods to build a nice routine, like meditation, journaling, dream journals etc. I love making youtube videos too. I like creating videos and learning about editing and talking to the camera. Ive always dreamed to be famous when i was younger haha, so i love the attention my videos might one day receive hehe Besides that, i enjoy spending time with BF/mom/friends. Reading. Of course i enjoy my career to when its not too overwhelming. I like interacting and helping patients more than any of the scientific stuff.

WHAT IS DEATH The biggest mistake people make about death is that they take death for granted. They think it's impossible to know what death is or what comes after death. When you don't know something, it doesn't mean it's impossible to know. If you don't know what death is. Be honest. It is a gross mistake to conclude that it's impossible to know, or that nobody can ever know. You assumed that. You have also assumed that death is a real thing. It has never occured to you, or anyone around you , to ever sit down and question the validity of death. Have you been skeptical about death? Why do you assume that death is real? Could death be something that you are projecting to reality? All of this is taken for granted. Death is assumed to be taken for a fact. What happens when you actually die? Death = infinite love = infinite consciousness = God = immortality = paradise = complete non duality = complete formless = total lack of identity Biggest mindfuck of life is to discover that death is infinite love. We as humans demonize life. We think of it as a worst possible thing that can ever happen to us. We spend our whole life trying to avoid death. Why am i so afraid of death? Why are humans so afraid of death? If we have never experienced it. How do you know that death isn't the greatest thing that will happen to you? If you don't know what death is, why do you ascribe all the negativity to it? You assigned a meaning and interpretation to a thing which you have no idea what is! Your own irrational view of death distorts your view of reality. It seems only bad to you because it seems bad to YOU. Because you are selfish. The notion of bad is ultimately what you consider death. It's simply a self-bias you have. We are getting the very core of self-bias = everything you look at gets distorted through your own lenses = you need it for survival But the cost is that you dont see the world for what it is but you see the world as how it can serve you. If you see the universe as there is a beginning, necessarily there is an end. What if that is not how reality is? What if that is a fucntion of how the mind looks at reality? What if death is not a physical event? What if death was a construction of the mind? What if your birth is also a construction of your mind? This statement cannot be taken seriously as a materialistic paradigm. Death is physical process You cannot avoid so you must face it But what if the materialistic paradigm is not true? What if you invented it? There is no death if there is no birth. We take birth for granted. Identity is a realistivist notion. A tree wasnt born to begin with. A tree doesnt think of itself as a tree. You think of a tree as a tree. There is no such entity as a tree from the POV of the tree. Identity is the key to death and to life. What you identify is totally arbitary. You can identify with being an alien or a human, an animal, or whatever. There is no limit to what you can identify yourself to be. You identify with being your nation, your religion. Most importantly, you identify yourself as being a biological entity. If you stop telling yourself that you are a man or woman, black or white, a human, or even a biological entity, you would have never been born. Your birth was not a biological process. You telling yourself that your birth is a biological process is part of creating your identity. Furthermore, you tell yourself that it cannot be any other way. Then this becomes your identify. And it will feel to you that you a human and you are going to die. There can be no other way. This is what you did. Staying alive is not something you did once, you do it every single day. If you keep telling yourself those things, thats how you maintain birth. If you do stop telling yourself those things, you will DIE. Death is the end of your identification – whatever you identify with. The core of your identify = being a human = if you are able to let those notions go, you will die. Your identity will die. And if you never thought about the idea of human or "I" from that moment on, it will feel as if you were never born. The stuff will be happening around you, the body will be eating and talking, but it will be like you are dead inside. Whats left then is your true identity = your identity before anything was constructed = you are your True Self = emptiness = pure consciousness. At the same time, it is infinite. It is all you. What about physical death? You are IMAGINING that. There is no such thing as physical death. The distinction between physical death and psychological death is precisely the identify you constructed for yourself. You have to remove the distinction between the mental and the physical. It is possible for you to experience death without you actually dying. It is because you were never the body. You can deconstruct the identify and body to experience DEATH. If you actually were the body, then you would need to physically harm yourself to die. But that was an assumption that was never questioned. When you question it, you realize you can die before you die. If you are conscious of what death is, there is no distinction between life and death. You realize there is no where to go. There is no HERE or THERE. Everywhere is here. Everything you've experienced in your life has been death. Think this video as i am speaking in your DEATH. Because you have never been alive!! You were only alive as an idea! When you "die", you are not gonna go anywhere. There is NO WHERE to go! These are very uncomfortable truths that no one wants to talk about. As a society, death is so TABOOed. We've brainwashed ourself to believe that death is bad. This is what survival entails. This is the whole falsehood of survival. Survival defends something that is completely unreal. What would you do in your life if you realize death was not real. What would you do? Woud there be anything left to fear if you realize death is an illusion? Fear is a powerful tool of self deception. If there was a truth that devils want to hide from humanity, how would the devil hide it from mankind? he would simply veil it in fear! Everything that mankind deeply fears , the mankind doesnt explore. The ultimate fear = death Where is infinite love? You called it death Where is god? Why can't i see god?! You called it death Only from the place of self deception can life as we know it happen. There would be no humanity otherwise. Death is truth, love, infinity, God, selflessness, consciousness. Life = delusion, identification, attachement , falsehood, illusion, fantasy, imagination, hallucination, self-bias, survival, How on earth can death be infinite Love? Existential Love Love is nothingness, infinite freedom Death = your identify will completely dissolve and you become one with the universe. You become infinite and you become Godhead. The beauty of life is that we struggle for 80 years against obstacles, death, finally we lose that struggle and we die, we think to ourselves that this is the worst thing ever, but we dont realize that this is heaven. Unlimited in every way = total formlessness. It threatens us as egos. But it is the most happy we can ever be because it is our truest form By having no identity = you have infinite identity = you are universal Attachment is the ennemy of the spiritual path. You think the form is so great, but you dont realize how great formless IS. You are TERRIFIED of it. Because you are so attached to it. No matter how Leo says how good or beautiful or loving deaht is, you are TERRIFIED. You must be going through the process of dying to understand it. Reality is depolarization and polarization process. Your death is a process of unification. There is no difference between unity and division. You are the division and the unification. This all is a process of going through the Universal You. This is infinite Love. Both in polarizing and non-polarizing ways. You can realize this directly because it is what you are. The greatest irony of human life is that we spend our life fearing death, yet death is illusory. Actually death will be the most beautiful thing thats ever happened to you. The actual circumstances in which you die can be painful, tortuous. But the actual moment of your death is the pinnacle of life. Your life coming completely full circle = you becoming the whole universe. All of entertainment, religion, family, TV, video games, government are ways to delay seeing what Life is. Those of us who werent afraid of infinite LOve is not here, they are already gone. When your friends die, your grandparents die, they become you. All the consciousness of all the people who have ever lived is in right here in your consciousness. You think Cesar and HItler are dead because you are attached to their forms. Everyone you know whos dead is right here. Nothing happened to them. Nothing bad has ever happened to anyone. This will be TOTALLY denied, by society, your family, and your mind. Because everything said in this video has to be DENIED for you to survive. No one can validate this for you. Nor should you believe Leo. If you believe Leo, it gets you nowhere. You are stuck being a finite being. If you dont believe Leo, it stilll gets you nowhere. Death is a relativistic notion. God is a shape shifter. It lives forever and changes forms. You hear stories of immortality and they are just stories. Until you hear enough of those stories, one day the possibility might click. Maybe immortality is actually possible. Immortality is possible as a function of how you perceive reality! The initial opening of the door is a critical step. If a tree identifies itself as a tree, and the tree is cut down, then it is end of that tree But if the tree identifies itself as the entire forest, if the tree is cut down, the forest is immortal and it can never die. What if my whole life is like the tree? What if i misidentify myself? What if i shift my identity, to the universe? That would make me immortal. What if you cut down the whole forest? You must identify with nothing, with the universe. Then the universe can disappear. Yes but distinguish between scientific universe and Universe with capital U UNiverse = everything thats ever possible. The totality, the unity, the oneness. If you have duality in your identify, you are mortal because every duality will collapse eventually. Thats exactly what you will become at your DEATH. Life is the opposite of cruel. You face the crippling fear of death. When something terrible happens to your children when they die, what you dont realize as a parent is that your children become infinite love. Nothing is lost. That is the beauty of the design that is life. All suffering and all loss is finite. Absolute is love and goodness. You really have nothing to lose and nothing to fear but fear itself. Love is so great that you are too finite and weak to handle it. Thats the tragedy of it. Everything that you think its evil and bad, or seems to undermine the design of life, is precisely its VERY EVIDENCE. You are only attached to survival. You dont want to accept that. All of your depression, pessismist, criticism, is all just a denial of infinite Love. You are guaranteed to lose the battle against infinite love no matter what. You will melt into infinite love no matter. This is God's mercy You have played a game which you cannot lose but fooled yourself that you will lose. This is a source of all evil. Evil = misinterpretation of truth. You dont know how NOT to misperceive the truth. The entire process of human growth is the process of realization your finitude and your own self limitations. Thats what your whole life is about whether you realize it or not. The extent to which your life is happy and positive is the extent to which you align yourself with this. And vice versa. Wisdom = alligning your life towards this and going towards selflessness. Discover for yourself what it is. What about reincarnation? Everything infinitely reincarnates. From the absolute perspective, it doesnt matter what happens to this body. Ultimately, i already AM all these things. I am cycling through the chain of being. Reincarnation is inlimited. How can leo know any of this? I died. Through direct experience, and you can too. It does no good to theorize. The only way you can understand this is to die. But you dont want to do it. You dont need to physically harm yourself. You need realize the duality between physical and mental is not real. if im in a depression, why dont i just shoot myself to be infinite God? you can, but i dont recommend it, for social reasons. You do it out of selfishness. The better way would be to do the spiritual work and to overcome your sufferings. Then enjoy the formed materialistic. Also there is no where to go. You shoot yourself and you will still be here. Appreciate the beauty of Love manifested in the physical form. dont worry about formlessness. You have been there, you came from there and you will be back there. but appreciate love and matter in its finite form! Its beautiful and remarkable and its worthy of appreciation! The point of life is to awaken and to appreciate YOURSELF. ALL is yourself. When your body dies, it dies, its not a problem. Its all good. you are immortal, but you aint a human. Humans cannot be immortal. Everything form is mortal. Consciousness itself is immortal. when you have total oneness, the oneness cannot kill itself. Its a terrifying realization that its possible for you to realize that you cannot kill yourself. God cannot kill itself. Can god create a rock he himself cannot lift? If God is all powerful, can God kill itself? It can kill itself in the relative domain, but not in the absolute domain. The notion of killing itself, its a relativist notion. It does not exist in the absolute sense. All you have to do is change your identity of human to that of God, then you are immortal. That is truth!

ironically, there wasnt much visualization. I just sat there and thought : ok lets get this started and suddenly this anxiety came up. I think it shows that my anxiety level was higher more than anything else. the past couple of days, i was not able to bring any vivid visualization. its hard to truly ''trick'' my mind into ''believing'' the visualizations. what i mean is that i cant effectively visualize and bring out those fear because i kind of tell myself, ''there no real fear here, you are in your room meditating'' perfectly true . thank you

as a med student in north america, this is pretty right on. in medical postgraduate training in psychiatry (medical students who graduate to specialize in psychiatry), however, they tend to be more open and does talk about psychedelics in therapeutic settings, especially in this era of psychedelic renaissance with MAPS, many psychiatrists are involved in the clinical research @Corpus

nice!! and how did it happen, how did you discard those beliefs?

@Leo Gura do your video series on ''what is love'' still holds true or have you changed how you understand what Love is ?

@ShamanicAnarchist it was a great read. Thank you so much <3 <3 <3

@nexusoflife i great appreciate your answer for me and others. Reading them really helps. Thank you I have also come to realize that i need to be more patient with myself. I used to think that i "should" trip soon because its been "this many month long" , but thats not the right way to think. My last trip which was 6 months ago, still needs to be fully integrated. I understand to follow more my intuition rather than push anything. Thanks for sharing that it took so 6 years, it put things even more into perspective. you are right, there is no rush I committed myself since last week, that instead of avoiding to feel my panic attacks i will observe it, dismantle it one piece at a time. Yesterday I used the visualization method you mentioned earlier in this thread. Within 30s of setting my mind to contemplating death and fear, this energy and anxiety began to come up on me. My heart began beating really hard and fast, my breath deepening, my face getting sensitive and my heart chakra area sinking. I stayed with the breath and to tried to feel where the fear lies. it turns out i feel it the most in the heart chakra or a little lower. where my stomach was sinking into infinity. I was a bit scared but not a full blown panic attack and i kept breathing, feeling it as it passes. As my heart began to slow down after 1-2min i continued to contemplate how to let go. then the cycle of nausea and stomach sinking repeated a few more times in my meditation. i felt a strong urge to purge. like a monster wants to come out of my throat but i didnt. i also felt a strong desire to cry, which i did, but not a lot. I felt like i needed to sob but i couldnt totally bring myself to sob. it was a powerful experience to be able to bring it up like that and i know i can let go more and contemplate more next time. i just need practice. I have not had that many experiences. Never a breakthrough. However, i have had the "initial seeing" during my ayahuasca trip which you can read my trip report below. I was shown absolute consciousness in that trip but i wasnt ready. As i tried to grasp the experience, it brought up a lot of shadows that i have yet to work through, mainly in the form of fear of death and anxiety. thank you again is there any book that helped you doing your shadow works? I only see one in leo's list but he didnt rate it high.

@Raptorsin7 ugh thats frustrating. Cause the other dangerous substance nboMe is supposed to have no reaction.. did you repeat the test ?

@outlandish great thank you so much! and according to my research , the ehrlich also works for mescaline 2c-b, i mean the color diagram has a bunch of substances. Are they accurate? Could one rely on ehrlich for mescaline, 5 meo-dmt and all the rest of the item mentioned iin their color diagram?