lostmedstudent

@Artsu what do you do for a living, if you dont mind me asking ?

@BroccoliSalad Hey thank you for sharing your story. I resonated with so many of the things you said partly because i was in the same boat of indecision when i was in medical school (in canada), not knowing what i want and feeling like my life is heading into an unknown/wrong direction. I have always had the dream of going to california as well, but never even had the guts to actualize it. So kudos to you for having a clear vision of your future! I had a lot of parental pressure, and given the promising job / salary / socio-economic prospect that becoming a doctor offers, i decided to continue and i have now graduated. I wanted to become a psychiatrist as well, but things did not turn out the way i wanted and i am now a family doctor. I can't say i regretted not dropping out, but i cannot say this is the life i want either. However, i am in a very fortunate position because i am financially independent and i can afford taking time and a step back to re-evaluate my life. I think you already know a lot more about what you wanted than i did when i was in medical school. in the end of the day, no one can tell you what to do. you just have to follow your heart. My advice would be, can you somehow move to California FIRST with your dad, then figure things out from there? It sounds like the easiest way, especially when your dad is a citizen and has settled in USA. you'd at least be in your dream location. The thing about medical school and becoming a psychiatrist is that its so time consuming (4 years of medical school + 5 years of residency). are you willing to wait 4+ years to find out whether you even have a chance of going to the US for residency? iF you don't match to a USA residency (which is highly possible), or if you don't match into psychiatry, what will you do? from what you wrote, it seems that you have a lot of options ahead of you in terms of career (not limited to medicine), but moving to California seems like a bigger back ground goal. Given your interests in more creative things and mainly psychotherapy, i would say medical school is somewhat closing the doors for you, as you are way more likely to build your dream career going through another route (psychotherapy, researcher, psychologist etc). Although medical school might give you an advantage in terms of visa, but we are talking 4 + years from now, so many things can happen in that time frame. Not to discourage you from medical school either, because if you keep an open mind, medical school can open you up to new career prospects you never considered before. You might discover something you never would consider interesting before. but again, it seeems like you already have a clear notion of what you like and what you dont. Ive met colleagues in medical school who are in just so they can become psychiatrists, so its definitely not wrong to go in only for 1 specialty. Anyway, i think you cant go wrong if you just follow your heart good luck

it all looks nice on the outside. but i dont actually feel that way. there are days where i feel really out of alignment with my life vision, days where i feel like im a total imposter and alien compared to the rest of the medical community. for the most part. i have been struggling a lot, questioning everyday whether this is what im meant to do. theres no real difference between you and me. i have never worked my entire life until i started working as a resident. so before that, we were in the same boat. and we still are in the sense that i just followed the path that was layed out for me. and now i get paid. so i didnt carve out a path for myself either. the pôint is, dont compare yourself with others, because everything looks more glam from the outside. you are doing great and dont stop believing yourself!

hey, dont blame yourself like that. you did the best you could given the circumstances and information you had at the time you made the decision. everything is okay. if you didnt drop out, youd wonder forever what if, what would happen. grass is always greener on the other side, dont lose hope! keep it up! there are people in way worse situations! things will be better eventually and everything is happening so you can learn and grow from it! dont look at things so negatively. i know its way easier said than done, but you have to believe in yourself! <3 <3 <3

haha i feel you! you are a great writer! it feels like im watching a movie or reading a fiction about your life! id totally watch your vlogs hahah. keep up the good work!

thanks for sharing this. you write so beautifully

and what happened after you tried nofap? why is it that some people can come 6 times in a row like you and other cannot ? its not healthy i imagine to come this many times ?!?

how do you know 15min does it the same as 2h

so i understand a guy can build up his attractiveness by doing pickup and socializing with girls in public. so what can a average looking or even below average looking girl do to find love or partner??

here is a video i made documenting my progress with my own insights, for those interested

@WaveInTheOcean thanks <3

but when we die, the world goes on for everyone else on this planet no? or do they not exist because its only a projection of my mind. i cannot imagine it to be any other way than if i die, my parents will live the sorrow of my death and their lives will continue.

its astounding the things people spend their time on....... lol

so you dont think people are poly-amorous by nature?

i have never experienced a simultaneous orgasm. i imagine it to be quite common. for those who are able to achieve it, can you share some tips?

@LfcCharlie4 thanks !!!!!!! i tried his cheesy brocoli soup yesterday was super simple and easy to make! thanks for the share!!! appreciate it

@mandyjw yup i usually stretch right after my run for 30min! i feel very tight in my legs if i dont stretch @loub thank you!! i will incorporate that in my daily routine! i do yin yoga type stretches everyday thats a good explanation for what im experiencing , not feeling discouraged yin yoga focuses on breathing, this one you linked says to hold the breath, why is that? how long do you hold it for usually?

thanks for sharing! as a vegan and also avoiding the hazardous food that is mentioned on the medical medium website, what do you usually have for breakfast? i find other meals easy to do , but breakfast its hard to just eat fruits and juice. i will get hungry in 10 min. i usually have a big breakfast at 8 and still get hungry around 11am @LfcCharlie4

there are vegan protein powders you can get. i use Vega brand. i make myself a smoothie after a workout. soy/oat milk, frozen fruits, 0.5-1scoop of the protein powder, tastes so good! also chickpeas, cococut yogurt, soy milk, oat milk, tofu, tempeh, those meat alternatives (although these are heavily processed) all have a lot of proteins. edaname beans (i find them better to digest and lighter than other beans).

thanks the past few days have been discouraging. after my 30min stretching session i can reach my toes easily but the next day, before my session, i lose all progress from the day before. does it mean im not stretching enough? i feel like everyday im back at where i was the day before after streching. and before i stretch, i cant touch my toes

did you speak with your partner openly about how it makes you feel? and has he discussed how he feels about how you feel about the situation?

@karkaore 1p-LSD?

According to the thread about rectal administration of LSD (linked above), they used 1p-LSD

@iceprincess thank you i will check out the book! @mandyjw wow i didnt know that aboutr belly dancing. i am not a natural dancer, but tutorial / follow-alongs on youtube would be a good start? do you do belly dancing at home ?

best one out there is IUD, after abstinence of course.