sarapr

It would actually make the prisoners even more unstable if they heard Leo's teachings about meaninglessness of the world, there is no evil and stuff like that. And if they ever started a meditation practice they'd be so disturbed by their own dark mind that they'd either kill themselves or others. They would need much more mellow teachings combined with some persuasion tactics to fool them into it. And there are different types of prisoners; Some of them are the cold hearted basterds who don't have compassion, some of them are people who are truly lost and are in desperate need of some guidance, some of them who have just taken a few wrong turns they couldn't back out from, some of them who are in trouble because they don't know who they really are and eventually each of them coming from diverse backgrounds who need diverse advice and if they all heard the same advice more than half of them would become worse than they were. So a personal therapy would be much better than a broad teaching in TV. But no one cares enough to ever provide personal therapy to prisoners so they'd be much better off living in the jungle of prison following the rules of survival of the fittest. It'd be much less expensive wouldn't it.

@Charlotte you looked much younger in that photo you once posted. I can't believe your 28

Was thinking of the topic of time right now and thought come here write them down before they escape me again. So I had this click in my mind years ago that each day school was finished and we were driving back home I would have this thought that another day just finished and the previous day is gone and never again will I be in the same situation it's like it's been wiped off the face of the earth yet how can that be how can sth that felt so real the first time be so gone as to have disapeard from the fave of the earth but the realness of that moment can't get destroyed how can each moment which feels so real be so unreal just the moment after it doesn't make sense and the conclusion would be that they must exist simultaneously. all moments have to exist simultaneously all the time, they have to. That might seem like a very simple minded conclusion but that's all I could come up with and I still don't know any better. So that was my thought just wanted to have written it down somewhere.

If a person grew up without having had any sensory inputs, would that person be able to think? Or have any sense of existence and have awareness?

@Leo Gura So that thing that creates the thoughts in our head is the thing present in a person with no sensory input but can't be felt. So in that case if you can't actually experience the thing creating the thoughts then what would make you so sure it's not the brain cause you can't feel the brain either. that's where I'm having a problem with your notion of brains don't exist.

Hey it's not actually that far fetched. Just imagine the time you were a newborn. at time we didn't know any languages and were asleep most of the time and we don't have any memories of that time precisely because our minds were blank with no actual thinking ability or sense of existence, right?

Like someone who is born completely paralyzed so there would be no senses in the entire body and also deaf, blind and mute.

@Preetom yeah I guess there is no definite answer but still

Not yet. I'll give it a try

I'm on the trip now And I'm actually having a lot of fun. I always tend to make such incorrect prediction about how I would feel in a specific situation.

You have my love all the way to your greatness

I feel down Kinda because of my parents I still fucking hate to live with them Well right now I hate everything Well I like to feel that way right now, it's just sometimes nice to feel sad. You know what I'm saying. Feels good to be sad sometimes, you can't always be happy I didn't want to write anything here and maybe I won't submit but you know Well my guitar teacher acted very wierd the first time we met. It was very funny , I gave him a chocolate I had in my pocket to make him feel better. Was totally funny, he kept forgetting what he was saying. Well i realized how hard it would be to master the guitar after seeing how well he plays the guitar himself. Besides guitar I also love piano but thought it would be too hard to learn specially at this age, it would just take a long time before I could actually enjoy myself so I went with my second choice. I feel happier now. Now I like to keep going and keep writing shit Well let's see, anything else to write about, yeah we are going to take a trip but I hate going on trips with my parents, I just hate it. But what can I do I'm their slave now. My brother won't be coming which would make the trip even more intolerable and you know it's so cool my brother gets to have a choice in the matter while I don't. And I say cool cause it means I would be like him too after I grow a bit older and go to university which would be couple months from now Oh I just remembered that I'd be having a surgery in two months and I'm a bit scared , it's not my first time but this one is going to be a more serious surgery and I hope everything goes well. My previous surgery was when I was thirteen and I was so happy I'd get to skip school for at least one week but guess what happened, after one day I was feeling so bored that I went to school the next day and crushed all my plans for not going for a whole week but I did get a worm welcome which was nice. Well I guess that's it for now.

I'm like 50% orange, 40% green, 10% yellow

You do ...?

Will you explain more?

So many deep answers

Ignore them until you can leave them. Or maybe just accept them but the annoying part is that they won't accept you so you don't really have a choice I guess if they're that oppressing but if not just ignore them.

That could possibly be a thing but not sure. For learning a new language one of the keys to speaking fluently is grammer but that's a tricky one cause you could never know where you're getting the grammes wrong if someone else doesn't tell you and that would happen only through actual conversations with others who do care to correct you when you're making a mistake and not everyone cares to correct you so you're gonna need a tutor for that, it can't happen any other way. But for words, that's a bit easier you just have to learn new words so you could express your thoughts more easily. That's about everything you need to work on

So correct

I'm reading this novel It's so amazing and relatable. It's 3 a.m. now but I can't stop reading it. I started the book this morning with a cup of coffe glasse or whatever it's called in English in a very romantic sort of way but in between I did go driving and shopping and this driving puts me in such a flow state, time passes so fast when I'm driving. Then got back home to the rest of the story and I'm ten pages away from the end of the story but I kinda wanted to savior this last part so I thought I write sth here then get back. I'm dead tired now as well and still haven't brushed my teeth. I'll do that now. Oh I wanted to workout today but I didn't and now I feel all my muscles are deteriorating. I also hear a rooster. I never got to know where that rooster sound comes from. This neighborhood is not a place for roosters but every morning exactly at this hour it starts singing and now you might ask how on earth do You know the timing!? Well cause I'm awake at this time and always have been for most of my life with the exception of the past year because of studying and all even then I struggled a lot keep it steady so you could say I'm a night owl even when I was very little I didn't like to sleep at night but since I didn't have as much freedom in my sleep schedule and slept with my parents, to not sleep when they did I would always say oh I haven't eaten anything I'm still hungry so my dad would have to get up and make a sandwich and that would buy me some time and it was so enjoyable doing that my mom though always knew it was my show to do that each night and would always get upset even to this day she still complains about those times but my dad has always been so much kinder to ever let me down although he too knew it was a way for me not to sleep. Kinda stupid hah!? What am I even saying! I suddenly remember such irrelevant memories. Stupid.

Hey I wanted to get some books on enlightenment and I ended up getting 44 books on business with only one book on spiritually !!! and also a couple of books on art and sciences I took my first few guitar lessons, it was great I also downloaded a guitar app which is very fun I planned to do like 4 hours of meditation, self inquiry and shamanic breathing and reading enlightenment books but I can't sti still for even 20 mins and lately I can't even sit through an entire movie I just wanna jump up and get some shit done. I'm hit with quite a few app ideas and trying to implent some of the easier ones first just to see how things go. I hope I do actually get sth done and do sit through the entire process. The other night wanned to go for 90 mins of shamanic breathing but I only did 30 min and fell asleep right afterwards, guess it's too soon for now.

I finished my shamanic breathing now and I guess I should do 90 mins next time cause with 30 I didn't experience anything crazy as Leo said maybe I'm not doing sth right but after it was over aside from tingling sensations, I sat down on the floor with my eyes closed and I went in a very blank state like totally blank feeling very light headed and I couldn't feel my body at all and I felt I was floating in a marshmallow balloon sort of thing in a very calm and happy peaceful state and I felt my body as wave, it was totally awesome to feel that blank for one moment and cause I couldn't feel my body it was as though my skin was dissolving I had a headache when I started that but my headache was totally gone afterwards

I checked my schedule and I realized I have one month to be doing absolutely nothing with no worries to be had and since eventually my purpose would be to be enlightened and everything as a human being then there would be nothing better I could do with this time right now and if I actually miss this opportunity it won't come around any time soon so I've decided to do like 4 hours of enlightenment based stuff everyday for this month and that would be great but sth I've also realized is as I want to do this sort of stuff I need to correct my energy levels and take real good care of my nutrition as well if I'm hoping to get anywhere with this so from now on I will be posting very organized posts about my practices and what I've learned or the things to integrate that I need to journal about or whatever so that's gonna be what I'm doing for the next month and this journal would also be a way for me to not fall off from those. So I'm excited to get started on that one starting with holographic breathing tonight.

Okay so it's been one week now of me doing nothing and just wandering around. I feel board enough to get back to some more goal oriented tasks. My chick died today I was listening to one of Leo's old videos about passion and I guess I am that lucky person who happened to find her passion as the first thing to come in contact with. However, I do believe that what I think I'm passionate about needs refining and revisiting but overall the main core has never changed not even once, for me it can't be anything else. So the reason I wanted to watch that passion video was because of this. I was thinking about how my life would unfold and everything and the thing about it was what I want is sth that is not offered in a direct way and if I'm not vigilante enough as I get older I could easily go in all the wrong ways so even in my mind when following up on the normal routine path I could go in, what I was left with in the end was a dead end with nothing satisfying or meaningful in any way I would like so that made me quite depressed until I realized the reason for that sadness was that I had lost my vision even in my mind and realized that, that path was never supposed to be the path I go in so for that reason suddenly everything seemed so bleak and hopeless cause it was totally out of alignment with the original vision of mine. So tomorrow I'm gonna do some real deep visualization plus some long meditation cause I haven't been meditating for a while now and really miss that bliss of being in the moment with no thoughts and also try setting some helpful goals for the moment and keep productive cause I can't stomach this anymore, not that I can't but I'm more worried it would go down a negative spiral after a certain amount of time of wandering around. One more thing is me not being able to gather information on some pivotal subjects almost no where and I just don't have access to the right information in order to identify my limiting beliefs about how some things work cause I actually don't know and the thing is I've realized what tends to be sth everyone talks about is almost always wrong but I wouldn't know that unless I have a very legit source to prove me wrong and in some cases, I've seen how prevalent some misinformation can be among people but other cases that I need some accurate information in, I can't know for sure and there's literally no way I can think of to get the right access and that's a pain in the ass. Besides all that, as if that weren't bad enough, everything around here is so unstable that would kill any attempt for planing for your future and that's sth every young adult has to deal with and that's what's making everyone so pissed off. I mean everything's hard right now like super hard and the trouble comes when you know that it's that hard only for you and other people in other countries don't actually have to deal with the things I have to deal with and that pisses anyone off even more than they already are and that's just becoming intolerable now. That means I don't know anything anymore, I just don't and no one does either and all I can do is to just wait for the next best thing I can do and that's as far as I can go, only one other move ahead and that's it and I know uncertainty doesn't always have to be a problem and successful people have a high tolerance for uncertainty but this is actually different and I'm not that crazy about it but still certain things are so stable in some countries that the way those successful people deal with uncertainty is by relying on some of the basics which they know won't change and to me at this point those basic stuff are just a luxery I can't afford. I don't mean to be so naggy about all that but those are just the brutal realities of my life which makes me bleak and hopeless and it can really rub me off of my energy which I could otherwise invest in some more profitable areas so yes it's gonna hurt me and not just me you know Whatever, I'm at least optimistic even in a situation like this where no hope can survive, it really can't and you know in the past I would think that there has to be a way, there's always a way but now I realize if others don't want that they can actually control you way easier than you'd ever think possible. It's actually much easier than you think to corner someone so bad that all they can do is to accept, just accept the situation and say what come may, that could literally be all you could do about it. And I'm not talking about victim mentality here, it can literally be the case just take Saudi Arabia for example, they don't allow women to have separate bank accounts or to drive a car( at least couple years ago that was the case) or to rent houses if they're not married so what other options do you think a person like that can have to break free, nothing specially if it were also the case that they couldn't leave the country easily so then it would be a very miserable life to live with no actual options of being untraditional, you see? Now that is not my situation but sth quite similar so you know, basically I can do nothing but to shut up and accept the situation, that's it, only with the hope of a better tomorrow.

I keep finding myself getting hit by the waves of all these different perspectives that I can look at the world from. It's starting to get so overwhelming that it's almost ridiculous. So many different things at play in each little facet of the world that you'd think what else can there be but when you expand your vision yet a little bit more, you see that the whole thing was just one small part of sth larger that contains within it many more of that same thing. and if you keep going upper you see that, it was all one thing with only one play all along in a way that everything would even seem totally static with no change or movement containing in it every possible play that there could be which would be seemingly incomprehensible. So among all that, a big sort of confusion happens for the way you want to lead your life and kinda feeling sad about how much you'd miss out on inevitably cause you only have so much time as a blink of an eye in this life. ‌ How do you deal with that? If it even needs dealing with