sarapr

@alyra I didn't read the whole thing but try to imagine for a brief moment what it's like to cease existing . Sometimes when I'm feeling so good and have an awesome time and want it to last forever I suddenly get the thought of what if I died right now and no one remembered me anymore and they would all continue their own lives and I wouldn't be there to enjoy. I used to think I wasn't afraid of death but at those moments I realize how pathetically afraid of death I am . Also this other moment really made me in touch with that feeling : there was a very strong earthquake in the west of my country and all the houses were destroyed too many people died and with sth like earthquakes it really comes as a shock to see you could've easily died on this day. we don't live where all those people died but we felt the earthquake over here and it was nothing like I had experienced before, very frightening . nothing happened to us but hearing the news afterwards that a lot of people did actually die of that was even worse and the first thought I had was omg I'm never gonna care about petty stuff anymore cause I could die for real any fucking moment .

@Ether Yeah I guess but looking at what could happen now that I'm not there yet is frightening

It was the BEST

If I were watching that 3 years ago I would've thought to myself look at these crazy people thinking they're any better and have reached some sort of fantasy land, they're crazy look at what insanity can do to people, he thinks he's the Buddha; but look at me now, I might end up like him in the future and become insane. I don't want that and the reaction others will have towards me will be like dr.phill everyone will think you're crazy.

@Saumaya But you really don't have control even if your body in your example of jumping off a cliff wants to jump then again you decide not to jump it's still part of the whole mechanism . you didn't have control .whatever you want to think about it. Eventually you can't be sure of any of these beliefs nevertheless we tend to lean towards one or the other.

@Power once my brother and I were talking about silence and he said silence screams and I laughed at him quite a bit but now when there is full silence I actually hear it scream. There was thread about this before . search that. there were some good replies there.

Depends on how you feel after eating and how productive you can be during your meditation . It's for you to decide.

@Monkey-man It's the first time I managed to get a book that fast. I'll read it thanks.

@Xin 9 is too much you need 6-8 hours more than 8 is tooo much It has huge impact for hormonal balance due to sun exposure and even on your life expectancy and heart attack rates don't underestimate it

@rothko Thanks a lot for writing so comprehensively it seems like a life savior I'll definitely do that but the third thing you mentioned about drinking salt water and vomiting sounds painful . I mostly get that problem after eating apples and drinking homemade apple juice makes it easier

Because I'm curios but maybe it is a trap

So knowing how a perception works shouldn't tell us anything about the other perceptions of the world that we have? in other words will knowing how the brain works tell us anything about how wr can see and experience the world the way we do?

I'm not saying I'm waiting for science to give me all the answers and awaken me and until then I'm sitting on my ass doing nothing, I'm saying if the researchers succeed in mapping the brain what will they find in there? and that's sth only for science to say and for us to speculate

But also I guess we can wait till they discover it

Fuck that I want to know how far they can reach and what they'll discover about the brain will entail

@Cammy yes they have and I did very short sessions but now it doesn't cut it anymore I do it for longer.

Day 7 I'm calling it quits now. it was nice doing it for one week but I can see it's working as a distraction for me; helpful to some degree but not more and this isn't going to be forever after maybe again I'll update like a week from now or sth I don't know but for now no more updates . we'll see how it goes

DAY 6 Today I had a busy schedule but before that yesterday I went to sleep at 5 fucking a.m I just don't understand why it has to be that easy to stay awake even when at first you do seem tired but when it passes a certain time all of a sudden I feel energized and like I have just woken up it's a goddamn mystery to me anyways didn't ruin my life that much because I had a class at 9 am so I had to wake up at 8 and then in the afternoon I slept for 3 hours and tomorrow again I have to take my weekly exams which is every two weeks not weekly actually so that'll prevent the collapse of my whole schedule so not much to worry . Did I watch any movies the night before? NO not even youtube How many hours did I use the internet? almost 4 hours Did I do my yoga practices ? NO Did I meditate the night before? I forgot it's so easy to forget I'll certainly do it tonight How many hours did I study from morning up until now? 3 hours class and 2 hours at home so 5 hours How many hours did I end up studying the day before? I don't know but totally it got to 10 hours .finally !! Did I reach my goal? If not what were the reasons? If yes what helped me do it? I guess I halfassed my goal because I studied a lot but still some of it remains all I'm thinking of right now is to have a better start next week but I have to finish this week as well so I'll continue with halfassing stuff but don't worry I've checked the plan I have like more than a month just for this to fill in the gaps ; so as long as I stop halfassing everything starting from now I'll be fine What are my decisions for making the next half of the day better? Just fucking study already (Good decision right it's the best) What is my goal for the rest of the day? So let me organize my thoughts a bit I start from the least time consuming to the most so here's how : first arabics, then bio, then chemistry , math , religion, literature , and at the very end if I had time physics you see I didn't do ph when I had the chance and now I'm carrying along with me like chain and shackle so I hope I've learned my lesson . How do I feel right now? Mostly I feel in a rush

@taleen Yeah it's nice thanks

DAY 5 I'm starting to get more engaged while studying and having that feeling of being in the now it's the most enjoyable feeling I get when studying I get totally immersed in it and this journaling thing is helping a lot it's a nice thing I had the thought of stopping it several times from day 1 but I guess keeping at it will be better and one more thing oh I remembered I'm actually quitting movies !!! wow I'm not watching that many anymore and those bad cravings and withdrawal symptoms are going away . about internet well I can never cut it off entirely I need it for a lot of things but lessening the amount is good I'm still working on that and the other one is right after writing this I'm gonna do a 15 minute visioning of my original passion which I have somewhat forgotten because all this school metrical kills the beauty of thinking about those things for yourself you just have to take what's been given to you but it used to be different for me for example two years ago that I was studying for biology Olympiad I was full of energy in contact with my true passion and enjoying every moment of my studies and I didn't have to just memorize stuff I was free to fly to whatever dimension I wanted because the nature of Olympiad requires it and now that I think back I see a lot of differences in the amount of fire burning within me; now it's mostly gone so I have to rebuild it and remember that and each time I remember those moments I get an outburst of joy and passion so maybe reconnecting with that will fuel my motivation again cause I am slacking off a bit. That whole thing I wrote was sort of a self lecture of motivation. Did I watch any movies the night before? Yeah maybe a little I don't know if I should count YouTube as a part of it or not I guess that goes into the category of internet ( A very sly way of saying I didn't watch any movies while in fact I have WTF) How many hours did I use the internet? 4 and something . That's too much Did I do my yoga practices ? NO Did I meditate the night before? NO How many hours did I study from morning up until now? 3/5 hours How many hours did I end up studying the day before? 2 hours and 4 hours in total Did I reach my goal? If not what were the reasons? If yes what helped me do it? Well let's see I did my math , chemistry , biology , arabics and a bit of literature but not physics so it wasn't bad . What are my decisions for making the next half of the day better? Visioning What is my goal for the rest of the day? Now I need to study the part of chemistry and math for today and another unit of bio and chemistry 4th grade and what else I guess that's it and ph would be for tomorrow How do I feel right now? quite good

Why do you agree with quantom mechanics when you don't agree with the scientific method behind it?

Here's something that will definitely work guaranteed . I was a bit shy in the past ,didn't speak up because I thought no one would listen and ... but finally what changed all that was surrounding myself with people who had a high self-esteem because peers can have a lot of impact on your attitude and behavior and those people weren't even the type of people I would like but we accidentally found ourselves in the same classroom and since none of us knew the other students we kind of had to sit together and then I observed their aggressiveness in getting the things they wanted and wanting to speak up even if they had nothing to say and making everyone laugh at them but they were okay with that and didn't care and I as I saw that, something was shifting within me as well .I was gradually becoming more confident and thinking that others are equal to me if not worse; that kind of attitude . The really important thing is when you have low self esteem the people you attract are going to be like you as well so it makes it kind of impossible for you to know any better but if you somehow manage to get around people with high self esteem, all of that problem will melt away for you. just try it You gotta surround yourself with the right type of people that can change you into whatever you want like nothing else . If you want to be a millionaire , a successful person, ambitious , anything you want the power of friends can't be overlooked.

Keep on doing that I like it.

DAY 4 I was mostly resting today . I wasn't feeling well and I think it was necessary so I don't have much to say. Did I watch any movies the night before? Two cartoons How many hours did I use the internet? Not sure maybe 2 hours Did I do my yoga practices ? No, I couldn't . Did I meditate the night before? Yup How many hours did I study from morning up until now? 2 hours How many hours did I end up studying the day before? 2/5 hours and 5/5 hours in total Did I reach my goal? If not what were the reasons? If yes what helped me do it? NO and I might not finish all that I had planned for but I'll do my best to get to as much as of it as I can so no matter what I'm not giving up just because I couldn't finish some of the plan at least study what I can and it'll take some of the load off of the other days . Now let's examine the reasons well maybe I should pick the books I want to read more carefully it's probably too much and it disappoints me and if the goal is not properly balanced between being challenging enough and being reachable it kills the motivation. I have to find that balance for the next time. What are my decisions for making the next half of the day better? more reasonable goal setting What is my goal for the rest of the day? To finish one unit of biology , the part for math , chemistry 2nd grade , arabics videos , physics as much as I can and at the end literature. How do I feel right now? I feel calm and happy

I really love to go to the amazon jungle and Brazil.