kieranperez

So I've been reading the Sedona Method and have been going through the process for the last 2 hours and I'm noticing I'm feeling even worse and I'm getting more and more lost in thought and stuck in these emotions. I have no problem welcoming the emotions and having them sit with me and I feel them fully but when I ask whether or not I could and would let it go & when, regardless of my answer and no matter how times I cycle through the process, nothing get's released. If anything I get so extremely frustrated and upset because I'm feeling the emotion, even when it get's stronger (from the frustration) but no matter how many times I cycle through, nothing get's left behind. I tried the methods and techniques involving the application of my senses and that didn't do anything at all either. I do notice though that if I listen to the tonality in my inner dialogue I hear my voice as if talking with gritted teeth and with so much agonizing rigidity and tension. However, I can't seem to relax that either most of the time and even when I do relax that it feels completely mechanical so my mind never buys into it. Thoughts or advice?

@Source_Mystic But man... that really is helpful. Going to get on the first exercise right now! @Joseph Maynor are you referencing the Do Nothing meditation? Definitely going to follow through with that as well and not just limit my meditation to just 1 sit p/day.

Jesus... this really resonated with me... Especially the example on the girl. Question though on the affirmations when negative thoughts arise... I notice that when I do affirmations when I have negative obsessive thoughts so as to challenge them, I feel like I'm lying to myself. For example, if I have a thought that says 'I'm a lazy fuck,' and I counter that with an affirmation that goes, 'I'm a responsible productive person,' I tend to get overwhelmed and quit because I feel like I'm just lying and deluding myself. Is that just part of the game and I just push through that anyways? That's definitely been a confusing obstacle with me in terms of affirmations.

Very happy to have read this Yeah I’m talking from an athletic standpoint but what does that even mean really? That’s just a label in my mind. Running is the most physiological natural thing a human being can do. That’s just an evolutionary fact. I also live in probably the best place in the USA to be a runner (SF Bay Area, Marin County... look up pictures). @Okaythen I’m not gonna egg you on to get into because I think finding a sport that fits you is where the fun is. Which is part of why I’m asking about this whole Hatha Yoga thing. Sports, or whatever label you attach to it (i include yoga in it) can and does tend to draw a fuckin lot of ego out of a person. However, those who are mature see what’s truly deep about pushing yourself physically in whatever endeavor it may be. Endurance sports/events are amazing, especially competing (whether be against others or yourself), because it’s just you. Much like spirtitual work. Hell, look up Timothy Olson on YouTube as well as Kilian Jornet and Scott Jurek. What’s also great about endurance sports, especially running, is that it is such an amazing and healthy way to get you in touch with both yourself and simply with just Being.

So I want to start doing my research on psychedelics so I can open myself in creating my own life purpose. I’ve retaken @Leo Gura‘s Life Purpose Course multiple times from start to finish but I’m noticing that my mind is just too closed off from other possibilities. I keep landing at being an elite running coach (more specific than that but that’s not the point). Now, yes, that’s something I’ve always kinda gravitated towards because I’ve always loved training theory and what not and also working with people. However, I notice it doesn’t feel authentic to me at the end of the day if I’m self honest but my mind is just so closed on any other possible purposes I could have in terms of a career. So I want to use psychedelics to help me open my mind to that. That said, I remember watching Leo’s episode on how to use psychedelics for personal development and he mentioned setting the intention of what I want to get out of my trip. I don’t really understand what that means though when I think about how I actually do that. For instance, do I just constantly have that intention my head and contemplate while the substance is taking effect? I do understand that its important to have an objective because obviously if I didn’t have one, why else would I be taking it? So hopefully that makes more sense now as far as my question. Also, how do I know what psychedelic is best in conjunction with what I want to get out of my desired psychedelic trip? How do I determine for example: ‘oh, lsd would is the best to take for this given objective.’ thanks as always!

My question still stands. Like, why Hatha Yoga? I’m a runner and have been for the last 10 years. I run between 50-90 miles per week (depends at what stage in training I’m at). I’ve been an athlete quite literally ALL my life. So the mind body connection isn’t foreign to me. Endurance Running is what we as a species what sets us apart from all other species from a basic survival and physiological standpoint. Granted, 99.9999999% of people don’t have a clue how to run properly. So again, why is this specific type of yoga significant? I’ve been an athlete all my life and have had borderline spiritual experiences in my running alone. I train every day and strength train 3 times per week. I agree in the mind body connection. I’m just confused on why there’s so much emphasis on this type of yoga.

@jjer94 Hold on I'm really confused... Why is yoga related to this? That seems like a totally different tangent from my topic. I'm curious as to why you bring that up.

Okay so I'm really working on ending this habit of moralizing and am certainly going a lot of awareness as to when I'm "should-ing" myself. I keep @Leo Gura's insight on ending this paradigm of should-statements in mind but this goes into my dilemma regarding motivation: For example, I haven't been disciplined with my training as a runner. I'm trying so hard to commit myself to training for Nationals for track in June and all this stuff but my motivation for running has been all over the place lately. If I had to be honest, my motivation is coming from this unhealthy should paradigm. However, I love my running though and I do want to become the best athlete I can be as a result of committing to mastery in my running. Nothing feels more right when I'm training and racing. At the same time though, my motivation is clearly improperly grounded as I can't even go a whole week of training without sabotaging myself and then moralizing myself more where I say to myself like 'I need to get fucking serious man! Let's go! Sometimes you just gotta do it even when you necessarily don't want to!' Which I do see as something that can be seen as neurotic but also true. Another example is working on turning my financial situation around. I'm just not putting in any work towards advancing myself in my work (which is at a very mediocre level) to earn more money (which is not what ultimately motivates me. However, not having any certainly should get you motivated). It's like, unless I don't beat myself to get started on work, man, I won't do a damn fuckin' thing. Even when I don't do anything though, I still guilt myself to start getting things going and not be a fuckin' waste product. Again, this was touched on in Leo's video on how to stop moralizing but I'm still unclear as to how this get's dropped and get's replaced with healthy motivation (preferably ASAP so I can get shit done). It's as if I'm either sabotaging the things I actually need and want to get done because I'm just not grounded by positive motivation or I'm guilting myself and beating myself when I follow my desire of not doing anything.

You decide whether it matters to you. You're just going to live a much better life if you embody Truth. Not that you won't live a decent life fulfilled by lies and stories you tell yourself. You don't need to do anything.

Would you rather live a life fulfilled by lies or be fulfilled by embodying what's actually true?

So I'm at a point where I really feel like I'm at a point where it's time I sit down and doubt the shit out of what I always thought I was passionate about because I notice that what I thought I was always passionate about is turning out just to be these beliefs that I'm clinging to. So at this point I don't know really know what I am authentically passionate about. So I want to do an inquiry of getting to the bottom of this but could use some advice on key questions I can ask myself. Any tips? A lot of this is ties in with my consciousness work as this will be helping me discover what I truly want that's authentic to me rather than stick to something because I've identified myself with it for so long.

LOL I love this guy

Meditate starting now and everyday for the rest of your life. You won't see results right away but that's your problem right now. You're neurotically trying to change and use thoughts to change your thoughts. Change doesn't work like that. How can I say this? Simply because I'm in your situation.

@ProblemSolving thank you

@Leo Gura I just wanted to say given the title of this thread, thank you for sharing that story in that Life Purpose video. To be honest, I cry pretty hard every time I watch that part because that's my relationship with my mom who has lost her sanity to her DIsassociative Identity Disorder and I can't have a relationship with anymore. That part is what motivated to buy the course and man... thanks for being the one person I can relate to even though I've never met you. Hope I can thank you for that one 2 min segment in just one video one day. So much love to you man.

So I’m really starting to notice this dilemma where the more I become mindful in the midst of my intro consciousness work, the more I don’t know what the hell is authentic to me because I can really see how I don’t know who I am (metaphysically speaking of course). This has been conflicting with my moralistic paradigm which I’m still working on where I’ll still moralize to act a certain way but I have enough awareness where i realize ‘holy shit, I know what’s going on here but if this is what I’m trying to rid myself of, how do I act in the meantime? I don’t know what’s authentic to me anymore..’ I’ve also struggled not knowing what my desires are anymore.. I'm really working on sitting with this confusion but at the same time, are there any perspectives that could help in terms of maybe contemplating these matters or something? If I don't know what's authentic, I feel so conflicted and confused on how and what I want to be about. I think this might be an issue some people resonate with in the midst of consciousness work.

@AleksM do you mind if I chat with you over PM? Would love to pick your brain.

I think this is a matter that needs to be talked about more. I'll get into situations where I'm doing personal development and I'll have someone like my dad, a friend, or really anyone for that matter say something that's along the lines of 'dude. There are people that have it way tougher than you and have so much less money in yet they still have to go out and put food on the table. Some of them even get to high levels of success. Yes they may not be happy but I'm talking in terms of success. What you're doing is making this more complex than it actually is. People in 3rd world countries don't need this stuff to go out and make a paycheck. Yes, they might not have a dream career or even a job they like for that matter but if they don't go out and make fuckin' money they starve. So they work. That's what you need to focus on.' I just don't think this issue is addressed enough because I think that common commentary, although it's pretty ignorant, it still holds a lot of truth... maybe more than I want to admit. I mean, yes there are poor people out there who don't work hard at all but there are also one's who do work incredibly hard. I mean, there are a lot of poor people out who don't do nor know of self-help in yet they do what they got to do regardless of what their source of motivation is. @Leo Gura and anyone else, I could really use some feedback on this as I think this could really shed some light. Is focusing on higher quality motivation something that should addressed more depending on what stage your at in your life?

It’s his forum.

@Leo Gura what you just described had me laugh because that is exactly what I’ve been denying myself. I will have arguments of how I need to change NOW. I remember you mentioned about how all identity crises come from the ego detecting it’s own falsehood and when I heard that I immediately thought about all my self deceptions I’m pretty much apart of. How I decevive myself over things I think I want but don’t actually want but still pursue them anyways because it fits the identity I’ve constructed for myself.

I'm starting from scratch with all my friends and relationships. Several months ago or so I noticed that I pretty much am the one that only was reaching out to (those I thought were) my friends and how I was never being reached out to. I had (who I thought was) my best friend that I've known since birth who supposedly moved out here to San Francisco to go to USF just so we can be near each other while he went to college in yet, I rarely ever got texts or calls from him in terms of hanging out and stuff. It was always me going around reaching out to him and asking him to go to parties with him that I thought he wanted me to go to. However, when I noticed no one really would reach out to me despite how much I would reach out to others to hang out and what not I decided to put an end to it and see what would happen. Never heard from anyone... and I do mean anyone. Including my best friend. Although it's tough to swallow that all the people I thought were my friends, including the one I've known for all my 22 years, I do feel a bit more at peace in a way. As much as this guy would tell me I'm his non-blood brother, best friend, and all this other nonsense and I don't hear a word from him because he's off hanging out with his other friends who supposedly he's not as close to as me, all that talk is exactly that. Talk. Before I would always shrug and be over it but now I've pretty much had it. This goes with those who've made up pretty much my entire social circle over the years. I don't want to be called a good friend and all this stuff but in reality you don't actually give a fuck. The more personal development I do and the more I learn to love solitude, the more I see this as just being such a silly game. Yeah, I'm hurt but I'd rather be hurt and have integrity then keep being a doormat and be lied to, whether people are conscious of their lies or not. With that said, I do want to develop a new higher conscious and more healthy fulfilling social circle. Inside though, to be honest, I'm resistant because given my shallow friendships, that's all I see this to be now. I don't really know what it feels like to have the opposite of that. Every time I talk with people now, which actually isn't hard for me as I'm still very outgoing, I still get this vibe that it's all shallow surface level conversations and what not and I don't want that nonsense anymore. Tips and advice on where I can from here and start over?

I'm so fucking stuck right now... I don't know what to do nor know if I can do anything that will get me out of my situation that put's me in a positive direction. I feel so hopeless right now. I'm living with my dad at 22 and little brother who is a junior in high school and my parents have been divorced for almost a year now because my mom's mental illness just got too out of hand we couldn't live with her anymore because she was hurting all of us. My dad now resents mental illness. He's convinced that I'm mentally ill with all the same problems as my mom and treats me just like her. Whenever I make mistakes or feel depressed or anything I'm told how I'm doing the same thing as her and how I need to look at my mom to make sure I don't turn out like her. I just can't argue with him because he's just not someone you can argue with and getting something out of it. I know it's not mental illness, even my psychiatrist says the same thing, but my dad resents my psychiatrist's word since my mom and I had the same one (until she stopped seeing him) because he see's it as how he didn't make my mom better so he doesn't know what he's talking about. So he pretty much is impossible to talk with. If I tell him what's going on with me he just uses rationalism and logic to explain what I'm doing is fucked up and how I need to be so disgusted with my way of living that that's how I need to motivate myself, even though I know that's completely unhealthy and neurotic. He's also my only source of income right now since I actually am working for him and don't have any other job opportunities besdies him for awhile. I'm working towards my real estate license and he's a broker and property manager that manages $100+ million in property here in SF, however, given our relationship and the way our dynamic has been going all these years, it's been 2 1/2 years and I still don't have my license because I'm just so unmotivated to do this and want to go into real estate with him. I'm so repelled from it. He pays for everything for me and everything so it's not like I can just say "fuck you I'm out," and still have a place to go, have a way to pay my bills, and have other job opportunities. I'm really in a corner because on paper in terms of resume, I only have 3 years of retail experience and that's it. I also have literally no money at all in my bank account. I'm trying to build intrinsic motivation to go into this with him so I can somehow make this work with real estate with him because that's the quickest way to me making good money and also the quickest way to get that money and move out and be independent. So I'm trapped. I also have to stay because my brother doesn't even have a car so I have to be the one that takes him everywhere and my dad has also said that if I leave he's not gonna pay for my basic bills. Again, I'm trapped. I don't fucking know what to do. This isn't fucking healthy for me but I don't know how to get myself out of this. Do I just manipulate my way out? I don't feel like I have options. Really could use some help because I don't know what to do... I feel so defeated that I don't spend my days having the motivation to pursue anything anymore because it's not like I can pursue my Life Purpose since, whenever I don't do my real estate I'm still made out and called out for just wasting my time and how I "live in Peter Pan Land and in a bubble." I have so much inner work that I can't do because of this dysfunction... Please help... :'(

I'm having a really hard time trusting my intuition right now in terms of goals I'm trying to set as well as make sense of what I truly want to pursue and unleash my ambition towards. This is in the context of my sport as an elite/sub-elite middle/long-distance runner. I've just always had such a hard time really coming to terms with my intuition and if my intuition is something I can really trust. To be more specific as to my concern, how do I know my intuition isn't just some "in the moment desire"? For example, I may receive this intuitive desire to go pursue some new ambitious goal of some sort and then I commit to it. However, I've often run into a repeated problem where in the middle of my pursuit I get another intuition to go in an entirely different direction. Which leads me to losing all my desire to what I was originally pursuing and I was motivated to achieve and thus drop that goal for something else. Which becomes a repeating cycle which now has me so uncertain as to knowing what the hell I really want and not knowing how I can be sure if this desire is something I will want as time goes on as I pursue it. Could really use some help on this matter.

I've been trying to utilize the principle of how Awareness Alone is Curative towards my moralizing. I've identified which should-statements are most toxic in my life which @Leo Gura identified in the video regarding how to stop moralizing. For me, moralizing is pretty much the sole reason I sabotage all opportunities for change in my life and advancing even towards success. So I know this is the thing I know that I need to focus on most of all to unwire. Especially since I'm so out of touch with all senses of positive motivation and have little to know touch with knowing what my genuine desires are. So, I've been focusing all my meditation sits on Mindfulness Meditation with noting, labeling, and savoring for the last few weeks and am doing my best to be mindful and aware when I moralize, given the hands-off procedure that goes with the principle of Awareness Alone is Curative. However, I feel like this issue is such a deep addiction that I almost can't function without it. When I objectively observe my moralizing, I'll remain judgement free for a brief window in time but then I hit this confusing point where I become aware of how my moralizing is causing me to suffer but then keep moralizing because I thought that was part of the procedure in using this technique. At the same time though, I also just try to drop it altogether (moralizing) but that doesn't seem to work exactly given how addicted I am to making should statements. I get so frustrated by the fact that I have to let myself keep moralizing through this technique of Awareness Alone Being Curative that I actually moralize more to stop moralizing (man this is getting redundant) because it's so painful to see that given all these weeks I've been applying this principle I still haven't gained any traction at all with this. It's like I'm so pained from objectively watching myself in being dysfunctional when applying this principle and how I just want the change to happen already that I just jump to more moralizing so that I can "just stop already." Once I become aware of that though, it just get's to this dizzying cycle that I just quit the process because of how overwhelming and confusing this becomes. TIps? Advice? Anyone relate to this?

Leo's Top 64 Questions + my own additions to the list What is existence? How come existence exists at all? What does it mean for something to existence? Why is reality structured as it is? Are there other ways reality can be structured as it is? Why are the Laws of Physics structured the way they are? Which comes first, Consciousness or Matter? What is Consciousness? How does Consciousness come about? What is Matter? What is Space? What is Time? What is Energy? What is a thought? Where do thoughts come from? Who am I? What am I? What is outside the Universe? Is our Universe infinite or finite? What existed before the Big Bang? What is God? How does material interact with immaterial? What qualifies something as real? What qualifies something as material and immaterial? What governs what's possible and impossible? What is the speed/rate of Absolute Infinity? What governs emergent properties? Does existential value exist? Why does anything exist at all? What determines something is an object? Does reality have a bottommost scale? Does reality have a topmost scale? What sets the scale for reality to have a scale at all? Does the universe on the existential level have a purpose? Does the universe have an agenda? Does external reality exist at all? How did life start? Where did life all come from? How do we know what we know? How do we come to anything at all? How can I know anything for certain? Can anything be certain? What makes a justification valid? Can any truth be absolute? Are some truths not absolute? Why do billions of people believe in God? What makes something more true than something else? Why do people disagree about what's good/moral v. bad/evil/immoral? Is Good & Bad an objective truth? How come intelligent people delude themselves? What creates Consciousness? How can I trust myself? How do I know I haven't been indoctrinated? What is Science? Is there something more objective than Science? Does Science have limits? What purpose does Science ultimately serve? What is Mathematics? What makes Mathematics valid? What are the limits of Mathematics? What purpose does Mathematics serve? What is rationality? Is rationality a feature of the human mind? What are the limits of rationality? What is the most trust worthy process to determine what is true? How do we evaluate the limits of the human mind and how it derives what is true? How do other species see the world? How can we be certain about our knowledge? Why is human understanding taken as the ultimate truth? What are the blind spots of humanity? What is language? How do animals understand the world? How do we know we can trust anything at all? Which model of reality is most accurate? What is Truth? What is Understanding? Where does Understanding come from? What is the Ultimate Truth? What sets the standard for there to be an Ultimate Truth? What form does the Ultimate Truth take? Are there Truths that can't be comprehended? Is reality ultimately understandable? How do I/we know I'm/we're not being deluded? How can I be sure I exist at all? How can I be sure I don't exist? How did I come into Being? If I'm not in control of my thoughts, who or what is? Do I or do I not have a role in reality? If I have a role in reality, what is it? If I have a role in reality, how do I come to that truth? Why am I conscious? How come science has explained consciousness? Why does consciousness exist at all? How is perception possible? What unifies our senses? Are there higher levels of consciousness beyond that of the highest possible level of consciousness of a human? Does consciousness have a limit? How are consciousness's separated? Is consciousness actually all one, not actually separated, but human beings just aren't aware of it due to any limitations that we as a species might have regarding in our current collective level of consciousness? What are the laws governing Qualia?