kieranperez

@Serotoninluv that's why I emphasized that. I know the interview you're talking about (with conscioustv on YouTube). What he's saying is totally on point. The identity of an athlete, especially when you start getting really good and then really good is hard to give up. There's so much at play with that identity because that identity is really empowering in a very straightforward way. You're getting faster, stronger, etc. it's fucking hard to give that up. It's like when @Leo Gura talks about how hard it is to give up a very profitable business that earns you lots of money even though it's not authentic and maybe even unethical. At first I never understand the business analogy because I personally never had interest in business so I couldn't really see what would be so hard about dropping that until I connected the dots on how similar it is with me dropping my identification as an athlete. A lot of people like to use people like Peter Ralston as an analogy for just using enlightenment/spiritual/consciousness work to deepen their mastery in their sport. Yes, it can help you with that stuff no doubt about it. What happens though when your consciousness work and pursuit of Truth butts heads with your inauthentic motives in sport (which is most people I've found)? "Success" and improvement in sport tastes good. Sure it's healthier than most things psychologically speaking but it's still a dog chasing it's tail which is what keeps the game going. It's not the sport or activity that matters, it's how you relate to it. Ralston was genuinely drawn towards martial arts. Most people I've found aren't genuinely drawn to their sport... and that includes professional athletes. Which is what Adyashanti was talking about.

I’m reading this as I’m sitting in Golden Gate Park at Lindley Meadow. Man I don’t know how you trip here man LOL. I can show you SO many better spots in Marin than in SF if you have a car. I kinda want to just camp up near Humboldt or around where you can get serious isolation camping. @Socrates depending on where you live I would do research on where you could do some isolation camping.

As a serious athlete for ALL my life my favorite thing I’ve heard him say in an interview was when he was telling his story about how he dropped the whole athlete identity (which for those of you who aren’t athletes and never loved sports is HARD) and how he was in a bike race and he started having this question arise of “why am I out here? What am I doing?” And he would say in the interview “if you’re an athlete and you start asking ‘why am I really doing out here?’ Your career is over. Too much clarity,” and I just burst out laughing because of how accurate that’s been in my life and how fucking true and on point that is.

If Ramana Maharshi was a kid in a western world in the 21st century, his path wouldn’t be as direct and wouldn’t have had the results he had. Ramana Maharshi was a raised in a very different environment and culture. Yeah he did absolutely nothing. He sat in a temple for days and weeks with little to no food where rats ate into his thighs and he sat there in bliss. Didn’t need to do anything. Can you do that? Probably not. You don’t appreciate the depth of the problem and the deeper of a hole people western countries are in spiritually in terms of how much harder and longer I t can be for them to get enlightened. This is a self deception from lack of seeing the greater context of Ramana Maharshi’s time and setting.

I’ve answered this multiple times now.

Just curious. Remember seeing @Leo Gura‘s blog post on that awhile ago and it caught my interest but seems very intertwined but can see how there might be some differences.

Thanks man (and the other 2 of you). Yeah I’ve thought about it but at the same time, going to some monastery won’t solve most of my psychological issues. I also don’t wish to join some order and work their system. Most people who are part of Zen monasteries aren’t even enlightened at the no-self level. I don’t want to be just some cog in some pyramid. I do agree on some sort of rite of passage or something like that and also needing exposition to new things. I really want to travel and for myself see the caves of India, the Himalayas, go to remote places like in China and Nepal and Japan and really do something adventurous but 1. I don’t have the money, 2. I wouldn’t have anywhere to go when I come back (my Dad wouldn’t let me back in). Even then though, for what?

Exactly. It's that exact intermediate stage that most people - again, I include myself in this - don't see and is what really prevents people from being able to surrender. There's a big intermediate gap between wanting to pursue painting and having the skills and brilliance to paint the Mona Lisa. Same thing. Which is what most people miss and why most people can't surrender and also can't master anything because they either bounce from wanting the whole cake when they haven't built themselves up enough internally enough or to wanting no cake at all and then just dabble and stuff. A purification in the motivational system needs to happen and also a purification in the character itself.

Burn in the fire of Jihad

Because they’re not actually fighting man. Read my post dude. These people are devloped enough where they see that sacrificing the unreal isn’t really a sacrifice. They realize they’ve been settling for the crumbs and there’s a colossal cake they can have and so they don’t need to fight with themselves. It goes back to the simple positive vs. negative motivation. The Buddha was compelled to search for Truth which is why he was able to go through all the gruesome austerities he put himself through. He had a vision yes, but his vision was genuine! Same goes for modern day Buddha’s like Om Swami. What’s tricky though is that you can’t really manufacture a genuine desire. Most people can’t surrender to that degree because, even if they say they want to (myself being a good example), because they’re just going to kick and scream the whole way through because they’re egos/character that they operate through are so fragmented, traumatized, conditioned, and hurt (which is why good psychotherapy and spiritual purification work - to me there really isn’t that much of a difference - is necessary for the majority of people). This is where moving up Maslow’s hierarchy is important, cleaning up your trauma, doing some good psychotherapy whether with a good psychotherapist or solo (psychedelics, psychoanalysis, dream work, shadow work, etc), developing discipline, fixing up your character/self, and so on. Otherwise, sure you can renounce society, go to a cave in the Himalayas, shave your head, find your guru, and then once you’re in that cave (if you’ve even made it this far without some sort of breakdown) you’ll likely have schizophrenic or psychotic crackup because you don’t have the psychology and development to go through that. Or even just taking 5-MeO-DMT. Good luck taking most people (who are undeveloped as fuck) and see them surrender.

No but I’ve talked to Shunyamurti personally and have done A LOT of research on him, his story, background, his essays, his style of practice, etc. as I almost renounced to become a sanyasa at Sat Yoga and study to become a healer as well in atmanology. Shuntanurti knows his stuff and what he’s doing. He’s more of an inspiration for my Life Purpose than anything else to be honest. Absolutely love what he’s doing. I still would love to go there and study atmanology and get some healing work myself.

I will bring 5-MeO as my offering Guraji

This is actually a REALLY good question. I’ve been pondering this myself and I think the place this discussion starts is the variability of what “surrender” may mean for certain people. For some people, really is a renunciation if the material world as they are truly called to become a sadhu/monk (Om Swami is a good example of this). Other people it’s a surrender of all attachments and such but they themselves are at a place where for one reason or another don’t feel the intrinsic motivation or desire or even need to go to the extent of the monk and can reach high spiritual attainments and degrees of mastery while in the ordinary world (Ralston is a good example of this). In terms of readiness to surrender, I actually think, and even @Leo Gura covered this in the 65 principles episode, it’s really important to really get a handle on all the bases prior to self-transcendence covered on Maslow’s hierarchy before you can really effectively surrender sufficiently. Even I f you look at the Buddha, look at his story before he became a samana. He was a compassionate guy, was an athlete, got along great with people, had a wife, people loved him, he was a smart kid, etc. he just then eventually want more. Even Om Swami (whose storyline matches Buddha’s almost perfectly to the T). You’ve gotta put yourself in a position in terms of inner development where you’re so positively motivated towards this thing called Truth that you really are willing to give everything to get it. Read the monk memoir in the booklist in the consciousness/enlightenment section to get what I mean. This has been especially revealing to me since I do have a desire for Truth but I also don’t have my shit together at all internally and externally that I know that there can’t really be a genuine surrender which is a really bitter pill for me to swallow but hey, it’s part of the journey. Some tips though is to really do some good ego clean up and emotional work and trauma work. See a healer, go to a Sat Yoga retreat where they do healing using what they call Atmanology (a combination between psychoanalysis, transpersonal psychology, meditation, and so on). Also, really hone in on locking yourself into the self actualization stage on Maslow’s hierarchy, get all your bases covered. Build up your practice along the way. Cultivate your intuition too.

I live in SF and I would do the workshop and the regular meetup. When are you thinking of doing Phase 1? Would want to put in my RTO in advance. Also, what would you be mainly lookup to cover in these meet ups/workshops? Would this be a combo of theory and exercise based stuff? Would we see different material than what we usually get than in the videos? Just in terms of the subject matter.

What does that really mean and how do you actually do that? On the abstract I get it where it’s like ‘well my intention is to surrender to God’ or ‘I want get in touch with what I really want out of my life’ or ‘what is my heart calling forth in me to do?’ I don’t meant to sound too left brained but practically what do you personally do to set a strong intention? Quick Side Note: For those of you want to chime in and say that I shouldn’t have an intention and just let the substance do what it needs to do, I hear you. I just think there can be more than 1 side to this process. I know people like Martin Ball are very against and (lovingly) look down upon having any sort of intentions when using psychedelics. Anyways... I personally am planning on doing some sort of camping thing where I leave my place in San Francisco and maybe go up to Northern California where it deserted as fuck and maybe backpack, set up camp, get used to the place where I’d be set up for a few days and maybe even a week, and then trip on probably LSD. I want to do this because: I can’t do this at home. I live in the heart of San Francisco which I can’t stand being in at all. I literally get overwhelmed every single day from being in this human zoo and claustrophobia and neurosis, let alone my own neuroticism. I absolutely hate it here. I also can’t do it at home because I live with my Dad and little brother who basically look down on me and treat and look at me at some imbiscile who should just grow up and be this gross conforming hedonist “like everyone else”. They hang out at home all day and I’m already not someone that does well sitting inside 4 walls for even a quarter of the day without going crazy. I also have no privacy at all (never have). I feel absolutely blissful and actually fulfilled on the trails. I sometimes cry when I’m in deep solitude in nature because I finally feel free, truly at peace, and I can finally slow down. It’s so cathartic it’s kinda crazy as it’s more pronounced than most people I see. I know it’s not a setting I’m necessarily used to but I don’t really care at this point, which leads me to the next point... I’m absolutely miserable every single day here. I can’t effectively get in touch with my intuition, strategize, vision about my future, etc. I can’t do anything here. Think of it like this: you’re trying to find your way out of this busy city and get to the promise land, but you’re stuck with a billion people squashed next to you and trampling you and you have salsesmen blowing up in your face grabbing you by the arm over to their little shop to buy their snake oil and you get sucked into it and you have this bellowing loudspeaker blurting every corner and you can’t think at all. That’s where I’m at. Of course, a lot of those examples dont just imply other external people, they include all the thoughts in my own mind, my negative self talk, all my limiting beliefs and paradigms that distract me and overwhelm me, my victim mentality, my emotional reactions (mainly anger, depression, overwhelm, frustration, and hopelessness), etc. I also feel like psychedelics can help because I just got off all 5-6 psych meds at the beginning of this year that I’ve been taking for at least 10 years for some of them (one of them - Adderall - I was on for close to 20 years) and now that I’m off, it’s like I have this mind that has really almost rotted away in terms of “it’s” ability concentrate, focus, and handle cognitive stuff like contemplating life issues crisply and “cleanly” without getting massive brain fog, fatigue, emotional overwhelm, and such. I think my whole intention would be to really feel, get in touch with, and discover what it is I really want out of my life next. What do I and my heart really fucking want? Not just some “you really want Truth, God, etc.” yes I know that conceptually but I still have no fucking experiential understanding of what that means. Just some bullshit idea I have. Yes I want to reach the highest fucking level possible and pull a Buddha and Christ (not in terms of mass scale or starting some religion or anything like that) and then impact people but that still is just a flimsy idea I have and there’s also more to it than that. What is that path for me? What is my intuition and “inner God” trying to tell me that I can’t hear because I’m so stuck in all the bullshit that I’m maiyered in? Sorry for this being a bit long but as always, love the responses ❤️

More nonduality elitists flocking there feathers. Yes I get it, in your “world” cancer doesn’t exist, it’s all labels and illusions. People starving to death, it’s all labels and illusions and distortions of reality. Labels don’t mean anything. We can all blabber like infants cause it doesn’t matter. If you’re just going to regurgitate non duality theory just to explain everything as lazily and sloppily as you are, please don’t contribute. I’m not asking lazily for someone to contemplate for me. If a child on the street here’s the term PTSD, there’s nothing wrong with that child asking “hey does PTSD mean? Does it mean the same thing as depression?” It does help to have someone at least give you some sort of description of what it is that’s being spoken.

Fucking work of art. I’m surprised with how well written something like this is. Hofstadter’s ability to tie in all these diverse areas and subjects into a cohesive thesis that is the structure of reality, self, mind, etc. is absolutely incredible. Clear and beautifully well-written enough where you can stop and contemplate without feeling lost from reading dry writing on such a topic like you would from a scholar. TIP: Read this like you would read Peter Ralstons books.

Fire away!

Woah we got a rebel breaking down the fabric of norms here. Despite the fact that multiple people on threads tell you to stop peacocking and stick to the topic being posted about or get off the thread and move side topics into maybe a thread of your own to start a discussion about what you want to talk about or PM someone.

No No.

My books recommendations: Resurrecting Jesus - Adyashanti The monk memoir on Leo’s booklist - that book puts me to tears every time and gives me a huge vision for my life every time The Journey Home, Autobiography of an American Swami - Radhanath Swami Living With The Himalayan Masters - Swami Rama Autobiography of a Yogi - Yogananda Siddhartha - Herman Hesse Meditations - Marcus Aurelius (not a biography nor a memoir per say but once you start to get into consciousness/enlightenment/spirituality you start to actually get what Marcus is really talking about)

Stick to the subject of the thread

Man I wish Actualized.org was around when I was your age...

Sri Aurobindo and his work on Integral Yoga is amazing example of 19th/20th century early Stage Turquoise