kieranperez

Do this

What medications are currently on? I've been on more mood stabilizers, SSRI's, ADHD meds, and tranquilizer's than I care to count and have gotten off all of them. I really agree with @Leo Gura on this. This is a more fundamental problem that's not going to get fixed with medication. Most meds work tremendously well in the beginning (once they kick in after the first few weeks or so), and by beginning I mean the first month or so, and then they start wearing off and it's like your back down to baseline. Medication for these kinds of things really is just a dead-end path because you'll likely be on them for a bit and then while you talk with the psychiatrist he/she and you will likely decide "oh this isn't working let's change up the meds" and then you waste years and also money trying to find the right mix of meds. I do agree with @Charlotte somewhat where they can help calm early and even late stage cases of being suicidal but that's all... they help but they don't solve anything and quite honestly you'll get much more bang for your buck just in terms of cash and time you're putting down looking for other routes that actually go after the root cause of all of this. You'll save yourself so much more time, money, and also mental health from ditching the traditional route most people go down. In the end, it doesn't fundamentally work because they're not looking at addressing what's fundamental. I can't tell you how much I wish my parents invested in Reichian Therapy, psychedelics for therapy (good luck getting even 0.0001% of parents agreeing to do that), Shadow work, dream work, psychoanalysis, neurofeedback, etc.

I don't know how it is for you, but for me, this is all I think of as it (metaphorically speaking)

I like that too!

@EvilAngel much love to you man

“Anyone who gives you a belief system is your enemy.” - Osho

“WHAT IS THE ILLUSION?!”

That in itself is a view

@SoonHei flow states are an occasional side effect of mastery. Not mastery itself. Also, it really does take a certain kinda person psychologically or genetically to train the way some of these guys train. It’s not an accident that the work ethic of Kobe, Jordan, Lance Armstrong, even spiritual masters have such an appalling unfathomable sense of work ethic and discipline over a lot of already really disciplined hard working people. That kinda work ethic literally isn’t possible for some people. Chunk down this thing called mastery. A big problem is that people don’t look at where they are now and that their attention is spent too much on this “mastery” ideal or fantasy.

https://youtu.be/XGp1wjEkg3w

@SoonHei gonna really shed some light on this since I’ve met Mike 3 times and had the opportunity to shoot around with him at his camps some years back and talked to him: Don’t associate these players with spiritual awakening. These players are masters at their craft. I can tell you, Mike still has a lot of the same fundamental skills that he had when he played (foul shot, dribbling, foot work, etc.). These people are not calm, serene, peaceful people. I looked up to Mike literally ALL my life until the day I shot around with him. These people are more often than not: narcissistic, CRAZILY competitive to an extremely unhealthy degree, and really, just downright assholes. A lot of these guys like to glorify themselves in their work ethic and don’t want to acknowledge A LOT of their success is due to their own inherent talent (talent is real). There isn’t some nondual thing at play. This is just downright fantasy. I can tell you that right now. A lot of these players aren’t really that happy. What you’re talking about is the result of decades of mastery. When you have a work ethic like Kobe is famously known for example, there is no real need to be afraid of doing what needs to be done because you’ve done it 100000s of times. Things can get pretty effortless at times when you’ve mastered something so deeply but a lot of that is still subject to how gifted you are in that area. The fact is that it takes decades of fucking up, falling down, getting back up and gaining skills to really get to the point that you’re talking about in terms of “being in the now” in the realm of any athetic endeavor. That’s just the result of staying on the path of mastery and doing the right things to get you there. Put a Zen Master on a basketball court, tennis court, on a bike, on the starting line of running race, he/she are not going to really “be in the now” in the sense that it’s all effortless and perform well. The greatest athletes are the ones who don’t take their wins, losses, and themselves too seriously (which is extremely rare). Sport is awesome if you come at it the right way.

As some have you might’ve seen in my other posts, I’ve really been going through this deterioration of self. Motivation(s) have been crumbling and prior passions no longer make much sense to me anymore nor compel me at all. I no longer really long to master what I’ve been committed to master for the last 11 years which is running so now I really have no direction. I’m still living at home as what not with just this part time retail job I can’t stand and don’t know what else to do with my time anymore. I don’t know why but I feel this correlation between this falling away of old self and what I’m experiencing now. To be honest, I haven’t even really been meditating that much either. I don’t know why but since I’ve been asking a break from running and I’ve also been in this dead ‘I have no idea what I want other than this enlightenment thing’ and I’ve been having this “shift” in awareness or perspective (I don’t know). Everything seems so much more dreamlike. Not in some fantastical or altered sense. I’ll just look at people and the view around me at the park and I’m at and now all thoughts, emotions, “visual phenomena”, auditory sensations, bodily sensations, all seem to arise in the same “place”. There is no gap. It doesn’t even seem real. This whole notion of an “external world” doesn’t seem to make much sense anymore. There have been no “awakening experiences” keep in mind. I haven’t grasped the absolute nature of myself or anything nor have I had any experiences of such things either. Everything that comes “into” awareness no longer has any other substance than awareness itself. Like, when I look at a tree, there’s not much of a registering that it’s some physical thing. A lot these distinctions seem to just be breaking down. I don’t know what the correlation is. I feel like I’m starting to see the unreality of what I’ve always deemed to be reality. I’ve watched the videos and learned enough theory to get the conceptual background on this but still... I haven’t even been practicing...

Devils don’t want to acknowledge their own devilry.

Felt this sub forum was the correct one to honor a true creative who followed his life purpose. I’m not much of a comic book guy (nor have I really been - just never got into it) but just wanted to say RIP to a guy who truly and relentlesy followed his own bliss.

Samadhi

“Illusion tastes good.” - Adyashanti

They're not happy with themselves. People need some sort of gross external fix (drugs, friends, sex, alcohol, books, TV, internet, whatever). It's subtle but profound

@SageModeAustin relax. I don't know the complete details of what you're going through obviously but as far as the overall picture, I've been there (still kinda am). First off, be very careful with this victim mindset. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions BUT in a way where that doesn't mean you're whipping yourself. You seem to be like me in your account of yourself and what's going on where this victim mindset comes in the form of 'I'm a victim to my own mind (depression, lack of development, OCD, impulsive behavior, etc.)'. This is tricky but I get it. Totally get it though. Honestly, really sit with yourself. Learn to be by yourself. Let these things work through you. Drop the weed. You're clearly just using that to cover things up and these things need to work through you. Learn the lesson of what you did that was maybe dysfunctional, manipulative, etc. and learn from it. Baby steps with the self-control but also make these steps both doable but challenging still. Sign up for maybe a race you think you can't do (maybe a marathon, 50K, etc.). Do something that demands more of you and set a reasonable goal for it and do it. I think this would be HUGE for you. All the best man I know where you're at. It can feel like a living hell but it's okay.

Is there a connection?...

My ex girlfriend went through remission through amino therapy. Definitely look into it. She reached Stage 2 or 3. I know amino therapy is really starting to catch on. All the best.

The biggest ones to me that I’ve noticed is the transcendence of judgment and more openmindedness from Yellow as opposed to Orange. Yellow is able to entertain and do a lot of “homework” into things they don’t understand that may seem outside of the cultural paradigm and are willing to admit they don’t understand.

I just finished reading this for the 2nd time in 3 months and I cried as much as I did at the end as I did the first. If you're really passionate about enlightenment and you want to make your life's goal to surrender and become one with God and you're considering becoming a monk, read this book. Om Swami has easily become one of my biggest role models. His story will humble you, surprise you, and inspire you. You can literally match up this beautiful memoir of his with the life of Buddha. He makes this journey come to life and really shows you exactly the level of discipline, surrender, devotion, commitment, and also positive motivation you need to have to pursue this. I'm probably going to keep this book for as long as I live. This is probably my favorite book of all time based on how much this resonates with me. Let this serve as a message that becoming a modern day Buddha is possible even today. If you're a Westerner your path may not look identical to this but let this serve as the powerful truth that this is what life is about. I hope this book does for you like it has for me.

Book: The Ancient Science of Mantras by Om Swami

Bro. Get out of this business. This business is a scam. End of story. YOU’RE THEIR CUSTOMER.