kieranperez

@Jed Vassallo read On Swami’s memoir. It’s really going to resonate and touch you. I see you live in Seattle but you live $300 p/month there for food, shelter, everything? Seattle is pretty pricey man. I mean I live (at home) in SF which is a bit more expensive but Seattle is creeping up there. How do you live in Seattle pay $300 for everything? What do you do? Do you have a car at all? Awesome background though. Glad you’re at where you’re at.

Booklist, see Self Help product reviews on here

I feel as though this is a question with an obvious answer but realizing that only has me deem this question even more important because I don’t want to overlook the obvious... Is cutting straight to 5-MeO for a first psychedelic trip just asking for trouble? I see a lot of fear on here from people about “am I ready to take it?” And all this stuff and from my own limited POV seems like ‘why not just cut to the chase and taking all these detours?’ Cause I see a lot of people anxiously ask things like ‘should I take Ayahuasca first? DMT first? How should I build up?’ And from my POV I see a valid reason from both ends of the coin on why one should take their time building up to something like 5-MeO but also I see the case for people who would benefit for just going straight for the Truth and surrender. Thoughts?

Your claims of how people should refer to enlightenment is itself a fantasy so let’s get that straight. Enlightenment isn’t some holy word that need only be used in some particular way. Anybody who goes parading around telling others “you know nothing I have it all figured out. I understand everything in this life” is just bullshitting themselves. Having “full” spiritual development doesn’t even mean you understand all of reality. You can learn forever and any master will be the first to tell you that. Your lack of humility and arrogance is just more of sign that you need to self reflect. Also, saying all this stuff on a forum doesn’t mean you’re some credible authority. One of the biggest traps in this work for seekers is that anyone can say anything. You can say and type all the “right” things but that doesn’t make you credible or make you worth listening to. Anybody can talk brash about the need to wake up now and have the whole Jed McKenna approach or the wise soft spoken approach and say all the answers and it doesn’t mean anything. Make your service to the world and your actions in it reflect your awakening. I don’t know if you’re genuine or not. In the end, the “I know what’s true, I know more than you, I have it all figured out” attitude says more than any nondual question answer you give. Also, if you’re in your 20s, 30s, or haven’t put at least 10 hard years of work into this, you would hardly be deamed a master. Keep in mind, this isn’t to diss or trash you. You seem well intentioned.

Not going to lie, feel a bit disheartened by this. Not at you but because I see how this is probably true and I feel like, in the end, I’m not that different from most people and I finally decided ‘this enlightenment thing is the thing I want to master and make my service to others’ but really, I dont see any evidence as to how I could be among the exception among millions of people who really have no chance at mastering this. The intent is finally there and I’ve been starting to meditate more and more doing multiple 1 hour sessions but still, what are the slim minuscule odds that I have at mastering this thing that more often than not takes decades to master?...

And there was never a point in your life when you weren’t already all alone. That’s the trippy part. Not just the realization of now the veil being lifted but then when you realize there never was a point in your life when you weren’t all alone. When you realize it was all a joke and now you can just laugh at the silliness of it all. Maybe youre not there yet though but yes, it is just you and only you. Bask in your own aloneness.

I second that. You’re a newb. That’s fine. Not a bad thing but there is a path and there also is no path. Anyone who tells a newb “there is no path” is no in position to be giving advice. If you think you’re going to do this on your own will, good luck with that. The Buddha had teachers for 5-6 years. Christ (who is more a deity than a historical person) has John The Baptist. Man, you have Actualized.org, a free site that gives you dozens of techniques to do this and can buy a cheap booklist to have resources in guiding you on this path and you’re saying “I don’t know what to do.” Try and sample different traditions and techniques work them well. This notion of “there is no path” is irrelevant and harmful advice as it doesn’t apply to newbs. Newbs need to make the strong intent to do this (if they actually want to - and you can lie to yourself thinking you want this when really you don’t). After a lot of work, then you’ll evolve into the realization that there is no path but that’s the least of your concerns. There is a path, thousands have walked this. It’s doable. You’re on a website that offers you an over abundance of resources so this whole “I don’t know where to start” shows more that you haven’t done your homework - and you’re going to need to do a lot of it in this work. ”Worship” is a weird word as it can refer to different things. If you think you’re going to attain enlightenment by believing stuff, then you’re in the wrong clubhouse. Seek what these sages, saints, and mystics sought! Not what follow in what they said!

LOL I’ll add more to this later

This is going to be a little all over the place but try to follow with my rambling: Any system that confines itself to any particular methodology, practice, outlook, etc. is limited. Daniels Running Formula 2nd Edition was my first book on running training back when I was in 8th Grade. He's good for those new to running training literature. If you're looking for a book that'll get you some solid initial results with good improvement if you're inexperienced/starting out all the way up to people with pretty good experience and have gotten really good results (which is relative to the individual). Daniel's Running Formula along with most training books though tend to be: Stage Orange thinking (nothing wrong with that but it can get a lot better) Very cookie cutter and oriented around following recipes More often than not based around the assumption and mindset of "I've figured it out. Do it this way, not that way." Too left brain and logically oriented Indulges too much in rationalizing everything Tend to stifle creativity, open mindedness, confuses the map for the territory Leave out other perspectives Too stuck in materialism (as in the assumption of this is a physical reality and what not) To make a quick side note let me say this: there's nothing really wrong with any of this if running isn't really your thing but you do want to maybe get some decent/good results in say a marathon you're prepping for or whatever it is you're doing. One of the things I learned from the last 11 years as a runner and being involved in the sport and having made this my obsession (which I feel like I'm slowly dwindling out of) was how much each major coach that brought breakthroughs in training left out all the other breakthroughs from prior generations... Now, where have you heard that before? Hint: Ken Wilber & @Leo Gura. This is what most people who read these books end up adopting just like in spirituality. As far as technical stuff about his training, methodology, and philosophy - his style of training can get you good results. The term Tempo Run came from him. His stuff on lactate threshold, what it is, how to develop a more efficient lactate threshold, etc. I don't take too to heart because lactate threshold is just one of those really weird systems that you can't really pin down. It's kinda like the subconscious mind. Useful concept but doesn't really exist (not saying lactate threshold doesn't exist but the whole lactate curve thing is just wasted argument because everybody is different and there is no universal consensus - and as far as I'm concerned, there never will be). For me, along with most coaches so it doesn't have so much to do with Daniel's, he leaves a lot out. He leaves out the importance of sprinting and why distance runners need to learn how to sprint and learn how to sprint fast. Most coaches also dismiss very fundamental skill sets because training is so oriented around metabolic training like training one's aerobic system, anaerobic system, lactate threshold, alactic system, neuromuscular training, etc. Skill sets such as... how to run and not just giving someone cues to run like a robot which I see all the time. I see people trying to change their form and they end up looking like these mechanical robots. Learning how to run downhill. How to run uphill. Learning where to place their weight each foot strike. Learning how to train the mind and maintain mindfulness and equanimity through physical pain and not associate sensation as something that's happening to you (the self/ego). Learning how to race. I could keep going but there are a lot of nuanced skill sets that come with running that people over look because most people want to just build this ferrari engine that can go 200 mph (which is a Stage Orange mindset). Most of what I'm talking about though most people will never give a shit about because again, they just want to run fast. They don't want mastery. Which is totally fine. I've kinda accepted that's where running culture is at. That's why for example everybody I see at road races now are all about buying those ridiculous $250 Nike Vaporfly 4%'s that are only good for 1 marathon and several workouts before they're dead. For me, I would like to think I have a more Stage Yellow perspective with running. Every coach needs to be looked into and from all the years of research I've done a few things I can say is that there are thousands of different ways of accomplishing the same thing. One thing I invite people to look into is developing their own creativity with their running. All these methods and so forth are all just inventions. It's 1 out of many other different types of methods. The greatest coaches to me came up with something that worked for them that they built from scratch that worked at their time, place, people they worked with, etc. A good analogy I'd use would be people trying to follow schedules, plans, prescribed workout types, etc. as people sometimes trying to put a square peg in a round hole and then the get frustrated by the limited results that come with that approach and then I come along and point out that the round hole was an invention and maybe you could just bust out a square hole or toss the square peg for a round peg. To make a counterpoint to all that I've said, it's also important to taste a few different approaches and see what works for you, what resonates and what you respond well to and then transcend all the rules and norms. Get good at the rules before you break them. I could say more but I'm late for work lol

Okay, my reply to this is going to be long. You’ve been warned LOL

I posted about this 2 days ago but this is becoming weirder and weirder now. I can word what I'm living day-day now a few different ways: A constant "state" of witnessing (it doesn't feel like a state though) The falling away of self Ever present not knowing Witnessing the unreality of reality (basically how I'm seeing through the illusion of "wakeful" reality right now and the reality like when I'm dreaming) I'm starting to have this thing of like "I'm either going batshit crazy and this is going to get a whole lot weirder or I'm right and this is still going to get a whole lot weirder". My mindfulness right now just walking around is on this whole heightened new level. I can feel more in my emotions, I can observe through an open unfiltered lens so much more clearly and effortlessly, I hear people at say Golden Gate Park around me and I can almost feel into what they're saying,.. like where they're really coming from... Like I can hear someone talking to someone they're with sitting across from me and I can feel them holding onto something... I don't know it's weird, in yet.. I'm not disturbed by any of this. Lately, for those that follow my occasional my all my emotional rants and emotional diarrhea that I post on here, whenever I started feeling like that, I go for a walk now for 25 min from my place over to Golden Gate Park and I find a bench by myself and just sit and do nothing totally motionless and locked in. It's pretty me tricking myself into doing the Do Nothing Meditation. I don't keep track of time or anything. I just sit there. I keep my eyes fixed and just sit there. Today I sat for a few hours (before this my longest sit was an agonizing hour which I haven't done since the beginning of this year maybe) and I sat until the sun set. After maybe 30 minutes of just letting my thoughts just barf out of my mind, I found myself naturally reach this state of heightened mindfulness which I'm describing and I just lock into the present moment with such an ease it's freaky as to how I struggle so much with this. Then I start kinda going deeper and more into the present moment to the point where every self referential thought just seems blatantly ridiculous to the point where I can't react and this brings even deeper into how my whole "waking" life is driven by concepts that I'm enslaved by and that this is all flat out false because none of it is real which brings me to a deeper state of not knowing. By the time all of this is done and I get up, every thing I look at, every thought that arises, everything I hear, everything and everyone I feel is all without assumption and life now has that mysterious "what is all of this?" I feel kinda close to something but I don't know what. All that remains with me though now is more mystery and a "state" of witnessing of how everything I deem "myself" to be experiencing (looking at people cross the street, the wall in front of me, traffic, the 2 naked dudes with police hats and holding whips I saw on Haight & Ashbury...) is no different than a dream like when I'm sleeping. Thoughts? Tips? Advice on how to go deeper?

I wouldn’t say that’s kensho. Kensho is more of a glimpse into your true nature. But you’re on the right track. Get you directly. You’re right there. It’s true right now. You seem to be realizing and accepting how much you deeply don’t know... and that’s a GOOD thing.

It’s like “yes this is all a dream, all an illusion but... what is the illusion? What am I?” Where I’m at now I imagine is where a lot of people mess up because they can start to intuit and even be aware of the unreality of all of this but that doesn’t answer the question of what this dream/illusion even is. This “state” leaves more questions than answers because it’s like I’m unobstructed by assumptions and answers (hence why I bring up the not knowing). I was going to make a whole separate post on this but the not knowing component is so powerful not only because you recognize that no matter answer you get or come up with isn’t what you’re after, but you’re left with that deep “state” of wonder and that alone, at least for me, has been powerfully motivating because now everything seems mysterious and more motivated to investigate and I can spend more time doing this because everything is so unobstructed and no answer does justice to the actual nature of the very thing in question. So yes I’m more open, the possibility is more readily accessible because I have no assumptions in the way, blah blah blah BUT not knowing for me has created this huge fire in me that’s actuay excited to meditate and sit for a long time. I look forward to this. Not knowing powerfully enables this work.

@AleksM thanks! Yeah I’m going to take advantage of this whole thing to go deeper into my Contemplation and self inquiry because it feels like I’m catching fire with it now. Good post though btw!

@Serotoninluv @ZZZZ thanks guys!

@Serotoninluv it's funny, the less structured I keep it now and start with Do Nothing, the easier all the other techniques are (concentration, mindfulness, contemplation/self-inquiry, etc.). I don't know how people start off meditating with concentration. For me I need to just totally and completely do nothing first, get all that mental diarrhea out and then everything comes after that. What's funny is that I could've kept going till I fell asleep. Every time a desire to just get up came, the more ridiculous and silly it seems because I can see it for what it is. @ZZZZ no I still need to breakthrough on who and what I am. I think the most helpful tip I've been remembering that's been helping me is the tip "nothing is hidden. it's right here. it's not elsewhere. it's true now."

Depends. For humans and I’d argue the planet and all the organisms in it, our greatest danger is ourselves. AGI is simply a potential product of our own inner “death drive” all in the name of material progress, however I think if we somehow radically change and handle AGI in a more Stage Yellow, then I think we have a chance but I don’t see that happening. That’s my 2 cents though. I’m not well informed on all the specifics and details along with AGI and I think climate change is one of those topics people look at way too simplistically and there’s a lot of room for discussion and I’m not that informed on all the different science and data that’s out there so I have no real opinion there.

What about spiritual communities and monasteries and ashrams? Are those different since the rules involve heart and conscious centered moral objectives and rules? Such as going to an ashram and following yamas and niyamas? Sounds like transcendent morality is more of a personal evolution in that we need to accept and love reality but it would still help if we set out certain ideals, even if they are arbitrary in the end. And also understanding why we select those certain to begin with.

@Leo Gura I was a bit stuck here. You said rules = freedom and you brought up the whole gun example which I agree with but at the same time my mind was connecting that to the problems of rules and morals to begin with and how we actually need to be pursuing trascendent moraltiy which is morality through no moral rules at all since rules stunt true genuine motives to flourish. Is there a piece of this I’m missing or is this just one of those paradoxes that I need to learn to grapple with?

Every single time I sit down to meditate I keep having so much spit come up and I keep swallowing and this is becoming so distracting and takes away from my concentration. I mean, this is happening like 10 times every minute. I’ve listened to the whole “put your tongue on the roof of your mouth” and that hasn’t done anything at all. I’ve tried letting it be but then I just end having a mouth full of spit which is just insanely distracting. I don’t know what on earth to do about this as this is so distracting. I’ve even tried doing my meditation first thing in the morning when possible before I’ve had anything to eat in case the timing of eating and meditating after had anything to do with it and that did nothing. Fuck I’ve even tried cutting down food and fasting more. What am I doing wrong here? Tips?

I’m mostly on board with this post. Honestly, this is my conversation with most people - disillusioning fantasies and realigning this process and how it tends to go. You will be forced to feel your suffering more than ever before. You will die. However that is the cost you pay to end all of that and end all suffering. So you must burn yourself alive in the fires of Truth to the point where all falsehoods and illusions have been turned to ash and all that remains is Truth and then you no longer suffer. However, the whole “stop chasing” is not good advice for newbs. I think disclaimers and disillusioning is important but also don’t discourage hardcore seeking. That whole stop chasing advice is advice you apply once you’re well along the path and you’ve made your commitment and that commitment has been translated into faulty action and you have your intent to pursue this thing for real and then you can surrender that need to seek.

So I haven’t had any awakenings but I was just at a restaurant and as I was sitting down I just kinda slowed down and almost “zoomed outL without any control. I wasn’t trying to do anything or be more mindful but suddenly I looked at my arms on the table and there was this sudden sense of lack of ownership of my arms. I guess the way I could put it is that I was seeing my arms but there was no domination of concept of ownership or familiarity that these arms are mine. I noticed that i just had this sense (it wasn’t even a sense) of how such a notion that these arms are mine would make any sense. Then I was just looking around the restaurant at the walls, the table, the people and noticing all the ways the were acting and suddenly had that feeling of “what the hell is going on here”. Everything and everyone looked like this orchestrated chaos that was being run by something intelligent. Not something external but what I was witnessing was unconscious acts and chimpery but what I was witnessing was chaotic yet somehow intelligent. I just had this intuition of like “this intelligence disguised as random chaos.” Then I just had that sort of clarity that one often gets in a lucid dream of like “none of this is different from a dream.” I think the big thing I’m started to get right now is how “in” the illusion we are. It’s the feeling of being too close to it and wrapped up in it. Even as I’m typing this on my phone I’m noticing once I draw myself back and realize and noticing my fingers typing how involved I am in the illusion. It’s so fucking subtle but so freaky. It’s that feeling one gets when they’re meditating and they learn to detach from the content of thoughts and they can notice thoughts as they and for what they are but now I’m learning to do that in “life”... whatever that is.

If you’re coming from a place of lack, that a good sign that it’ll end up in distasteful. Remember, the people who do the whole live in a cave thing spend time prepping for that too more often than not and have built up their practice over the years and also are so surrendered to this sole yearning that they are positively motivated towards this. They’re not doing this to escape something. I personally see nothing wrong with doing the whole live in the woods or in a cabin or something if 1. You can handle that mentally and have built that up and 2. You’re motivated to do this in from a positive place. Otherwise you’re going to likely just have a psychotic breakdown and corner yourself.

Welcome to enlightenment work newb.

Often I get confused when I read and listen to Ralston describing contemplation on more subtle things and then contrasting what he calls Contemplation and how he does it and then contrasting that with @Leo Gura when he talks about Contemplation. To elaborate on what I mean, I get this sort of notion when I read Ralston’s work that he treats Contemplation the same way of a minor question of like ‘what is time?’ Or since he’s a martial artist ‘what is judo?’ It almost seems like he treats it the same he does enlightenment work and meditating on this question outside of using thoughts. Whereas when I contrast this method or at least the way I’m interpreting it with Leo’s way of contemplating, he seems to be more open to using thought as demonstrated in “contemplating using a journal” and also his intro video to Contemplation. Leo if you see this, obviously you’ve met Ralston and had the chance to talk to him, how do you contrast his “style” of Contemplation with the way you present and teach Contemplation? Is there a difference or am I mistaken?