kieranperez

@Aakash all because I like @Jcent vision doesn’t mean the key is to just copy and paste his vision to my own. I like Leo’s purpose. I like Sadhguru’s purpose, I like Buddha’s and Christ’s. I also like Leonardo da Vinci’s purpose. There’s a lot of people whose purpose I admire because of the contributive potential they each have and for a variety of other reasons. All because you recognize the power of someone’s vision and purpose doesn’t mean you just copy and paste there’s to your own. Otherwise I would’ve just copy and pasted Leo’ life purpose to my life and there would be nothing to figure out but he is different from me. I mean, I like to talk, I’m very good at understanding concepts and getting across to people a very direct way that wakes people up and also “makes them fiesty” by provoking them but in a way where I mindfuck them and also sharing deep insights but copy and pasting someone’s else’s life to your own is a hands down mistake. My key strength is also not creativity and I’m not that good at larger group teaching and leadership. That’s never been my strength and in fact has always been my biggest weaknesses. I can’t stand groups. I check out every time I lead or participate in groups. I’ve quit teams I’ve lead and have been part of (college cross country was a good example of that) because I can’t stand large groups.

I like this vision. I like this vision A LOT.

This is all completely irrelevant. I don’t see Leo on this post making criticisms and judgments here defending himself and being ideological nor is there any direct proof that Rogan was referencing Leo. So many of these comments and replies to this clip is just a shitstorm of ideological projections. There is a truth to what Rogan is saying. See the truth and toss the rest. Rogan is a highly developed person whose able to see a lot of different point of views, an ability most of his guests can’t even do. Rogan is more developed than most people and his multi perspective lens is one of the reasons why his show is so enterntaininng. People can feel his fascination and curiosity on some level or another and his lack of judgment and openmibdedness is what allows this to flourish. People who are expecting Rogan to understand nonduality and all this shit just show how much they take what Leo and a lot of great teachers share for granted.

As though I couldn’t really figure that out for myself... This is why I’m why I’m asking about psychedelics. You don’t seem to appreciate how some people (god forbid you) may have had the good fortune to trust themselves, are well integrated, have good integrity, and so forth whereas some other people and all they have is disempowering narratives, beliefs, stories, etc. and breaking free from that can sometimes be a lot harder for those people even compared to a lot of other people for whom this is already a big enough challenge as it is. You’re half right on your initial point. I get caught in these disempowering narratives and I’m aware I am but that doesn’t solve the issue in terms of stopping and putting an end to it. This isn’t going to make sense or be understood to the degree that I’m talking about to someone who can’t relate to the depth of this issue in their own life (hisyory). So, please contribute to answering the question I posed above and not just state the obvious. I made this post because I’m tired of goddamn guess work, wasting money on goddamn therapy that just wastes my time and money. I’m tired of guessing what I want out of life only to be lead to more confusion and frustration. I’ve been doing this for 10+ years and I’m tired of not having direction or clarity. My situation isn’t going to get solved just from some self-esteem sentence completion work from a personal development book or from positively affirming bullshit to myself or visualizing something that I don’t even know I actually want to begin with. I don’t want to waste more damn money and time on therapy I likely can’t even afford if I don’t have to. I don’t want more psych pills and I don’t want to articulate my complaints, frustrations, suffering, and trauma anymore. It’s what I want out of life that I want to know. I want to work hard again and commit myself to working hard and giving everything to 1 thing, but to what? My life has no direction and I’m tired of people who have no business giving people life advice nor know me to guide me. I’m tired of being guided. This is my life. I want to know “what do I most want out of my life? What do I want to put my life on the line for to know the truth of, actualize, master, and offer to people? What do I want to know so bad I’d risk everything for? What impact do I want to have on the world that’s most meaningful to me? What would I risk my life to know?” The truth is that I don’t know what that is. The truth is that yeah, my mind does have my mind me by the balls and I want to know if there’s technology (psychedelics in this case) that can help me with discovering the answer to any of the questions. If all I get is some horrifying thing but I finally can see all the shit I’ve been hiding all my life, AWESOME because I want this shit to come out from under the rug quite frankly and I’m tired of it driving my life.

@Emerald from The Diamond Net on YouTube has an amazing life coaching program right now for people and wanted to leave a review as I think she’s an AMAZING resource for those of us on here who are motivated towards nonduality and spirituality but also maybe struggling in life in some way and can use some outside help. Most life coaches as we know are often super expensive and although some of us can afford to spend that money, not all of us can. Most life coaches are often over $100 per hour and don’t even understand the kind of stuff most of us on this forum are really motivated about so they lack that deeper understanding and often remain at Stage Orange. Emerald is offering a super affordable $32 for 1 hour sessions and I think it’s definitely worth more. I now have a better and more concrete plan of how to move towards my life purpose and now have a step-by-step plan on moving out from home, how I’m going to do so, have a plan on ways to work towards my own financial independence, have a well thought out process of how I’m going to access greater intuition in my life, and so on. Emerald is also very well educated and has great understanding of very important foundational psychology such as shadow work, the subconscious, trauma, and so on. This is really worth it and I hope you guys give this a shot if you’re skeptical about most life coaches who might not understand your motivations towards true spirituality and so on.

I want to share 2 insights I learned from 2 videos of Ralston, which I have linked at the bottom, and something I’m quickly and rather rudely being awakened to in my own contemplations is the following: all because something isn’t metaphysically or existentially true, doesn’t mean it’s not useful. You can learn FOREVER. This insight is piggybacks off of the deep realization I had yesterday in my own experience of how existence is difference or “this and that”. However, I still have only see the little drop of this giant iceberg of an insight. Everything you learn, in a sense, is a distinction. Whether it came from you or not is another matter but regardless, everything you learn you create... and this was a helluva mindfuck (my hand was over my mouth when I realized this). For example (and this was what I brought to mind when I realized this), since we’re on the actualized.org forum, bring to mind everything you know, feel, have learned, your story about Actualized and of course @Leo Gura. Now... get where all of that is arising. What is the nature of all of that? It’s a thought. You and I literally created this whole narrative and story about Leo and actualized in the form of a thought that, likely, you didn’t have conscious awareness of that whole story and all the emotions that come with that story (or any example, doesn’t matter). Notice how that’s not actually true and if that’s not actually true, Leo really doesn’t exist for you... think about that. Notice this mechanism in your own experience. Notice that this mechanism, distinctions, are not thoughts per say. Now, become aware in your experience that you not only create these distinctions and worlds (unknowingly or not) but also notice that if you pay close attention, if you were to eliminate that distinction, it wouldn’t be real for you. So what that means using a tangible example, if the concept of logic never was introduced to you, logic wouldn’t exist. Which is to also say, you created this world and “thing” called logic since logic itself isn’t something floating out there in the ether. Also notice though... that these distinctions, stories, and concepts have still served you though. With that last point and example in mind let’s look at some examples of powerful distinctions despite them not being existentially true: Logic The Subconscious or Unconcious Mind Morality Gravity The Laws of Physics Mathematical Laws Your life story Death Sentient Rationality Symbols Language Success Failure Pain Society The ego Now... realize that this list can not only be exhausted to infinity but also that, each of these things are all different relative distinctions that are going to be interpreted differently in some way by each and every one of you because you all are going to have different relationships to these distinctions given the difference between all of your own individual upbringing (notice what I had to do there too? ). I invite you to also grasp that this is also creativity at work. Creating worlds & learning for infinity, this power is available to you. Notice the power here. You can literally learn and create forever. Imagine creating a distinction like “the subconscious mind” that, yes isn’t true in the real of absolute truth of Nothingness, but becomes true in the relative world. For instance... what if you created a new world for how we become enlightened and explore the nature of consciousness and create a whole new spiritual practice?... I think this is why I’ve always been attracted to different athletic coaches, sages, etc. They literally created this world from scratch by (unknowingly and unconsciously most likely) using the power of distinctions.

@Sahil Pandit

First off, I’m with @purerogue. You’re being called out for being a victim and of course you’re trying to defend yourself rather than just face the truth that you’re being a victim. “I exist so all my problems stem from my parents conceiving me,” is being a whining victim. I’m not trying to belittle you, make you feel small, but to go the degree of ‘my existence isn’t my fault and so all of my shit really isn’t my fault because my parents couldn’t keep it in their pants,’ is just downright whining. That’s not even being a victim that’s just childlike whining. Also I want to point out for other people when this guy says “all metaphysics aside.” Notice how he only wants Truth when it’s convenient and titiliating. When the rubber meets the road the devil doesn’t give a shit about Truth.

Are you happy?

Read Om Swami's memoir NOW. +1 to what @Leo Gura said. This is pretty much exactly what you're saying - I don't want to be anyone. I want to transcend this game. I want to be a monk. Oddly enough I'm in the exact same place as you. I've shared this story a couple times on here but over the summer I was at a beach here in the San Francisco Bay Area and I wasn't really contemplating or meditating but I was sitting there with no one around, looking at the sea cliffs in the distance and all of a sudden I felt something in my chest that said "I want to be absolutely nothing." I know exactly what you're saying and I suggest you start to strategize to work towards this and have the courage to take this chance. You can't really go back to ordinary life with the same dumbed down mind after all you've heard from people like Leo about God, who you are, the benefits of all of this, how society is mostly just a giant zoo for ignorant suffering chimps, etc.

I’m looking to start doing some research for my life purpose on wisdom schools of the past and other such things back in the “ancient days” and I’ve noticed Graham Hancock’s books coming up a lot in my searches and books similar to the topics he writes about. I’m probably going to check him out anyways but would love to get someone’s take on his work outside of my own assumptions despite my own open mindedness. Would you say that a lot of the stuff he writes about is likely to have a lot of historical and also existential accuracy?

@Jordan94 I honestly felt the same and still feel skeptical but I notice a lot of mystics from the East really seem to take this part pretty seriously so if I were you I wouldn’t just cast it aside. Understand that this is a science that’s been used for thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of years. I know it seems weird but I’d say put your skepticism aside for now.

I was listening to an old Garyvee Interview with Tony Robbins and heard Tony talking about his breathing routine and heard him reference “Eastern philosophy” and immediately made the connection and then looks at one of his breathing exercises at his seminars and was like “holy fuck... this dude is marketing and selling pranayama breathing as his own thing.” Then I had the thought of Tony Robbins becoming enlightened ? Not shit talking, just something I’d share as an entertaining connection I saw.

This to me is pretty much the only answer I've been able to come up with as well unfortunately. That I think is one of the benefits to being in countries like India where people are probably more sensitive to other committed people serious spiritual pursuits and sadhanas (yes I know there's a lot dilution these days there but I imagine it's like America for example). This was how Om Swami did it. I've actually almost thought about going to India to do this in this Himalayas but the problem with that (along with many others) is when it comes to visas. I've literally heard people who went to India to do the whole cave shindig and stayed passed their 6 month visa and the government actually found them and sent them back. This shit is tricky and I think @okulele is on point. Where it get's more hairy is... what happens if you're in there doing this shit for the next 10 years?... and then that person bails? There's A LOT of logistics and planning that goes into this and also a lot of preparation. I don't recommend newbs who've only been meditating for a couple years do this. This shit isn't a joke. So be smart.

A very beautiful short 10 minute film on a Chan Buddhist Master. Chan, for those that don't know, was the Chinese version of Zen when Bodhidharma brought the teachings of Buddhism over to China. Or I should, Zen is the Japanese version of Chinese Chan Buddhism. This video really reflects what I love about (Zen & Chan) Buddhism so much - it's raw simplicity. There's no fancy gurus in decadents beads, and powder, piercings, holy men/women talking about God and all these fancy things. Sure that has a place but there's something about that raw simplicity and richness that I see Chan/Zen really brings to life. I don't resonate much with the group meditation as that's a real distraction for me and I do feel like I get something out of yogic pranayama, mantra, and I think what's great about yoga is the numerous different types of sadhana but I do see the other end of the coin of just having 1 or 2 simple yet profound practices that, to me, is what really makes Buddhism so beautiful. The word that I really like to describe Buddhism is "naked". You are not in that monastery to be anybody important, special, cool, smart, wise, etc. You are stripped of everything, left with nothing but your chores, daily duties and disciplines, meditation, and your koan. Which is something I deeply want. To be naked. To be a nobody. It's funny because I want to become a sage that delivers deep insights, wisdom, healings to people, awaken people, and so much much more in the coming years but I also don't want to do any of that at all. I don't want to be anybody special whatsoever that get's recognition. I honestly don't care about that at all. I'm not really someone that's ever cared about "saving the world" per say and I think it's important I'm honest about that with myself about that. Just in the sense that I've never had that kinda motivation. It's kinda like the 10th Ox Herding Picture. That picture really touches me. He's not out there crusading or trying to change the whole world. Just a simple man whose available to others out of love and only love if they need or want it. It's been a real conflict with trying to formulate a life purpose with this conflict because in the end I do want to have one, but I know I need and want to go inwards first and face that challenge, that commitment and wanting to know, "find", and discover God and the deepest truths and powers (from "full" enlightenment, to no-mind, to siddhis - not because I want to be flashy but simply because I want to know the deeper dimensions of what's real and what's possible - akashic records, so on and so forth to other wisdom like philosophy, psychology, etc.), emotional/psychological/spiritual/moral purification, and so on but also, how does someone in the West really do such an abstract, difficult thing? Even logistically for that matter. We in the USA have a lot of advantages (to the point it's becoming a problem) but it's not like for example India where you have like the Himalayas and spiritual infrastructure that's been around for tens of thousands of years with gurus (yes I know people are saying there's a lot of corruption with gurus and stuff) where people can pull an Om Swami and live in a cave and that start a small ashram for very cheap or something (pulling an example out of my ass so apologies for not bringing up better one's). Anyways... sorry for the ramble! Enjoy the video!

@Shroomdoctor no. Still live at home with my secular moralistic atheist of a dad who would burn me at the stake if he saw that vision board I have to wait until I move out to put that up. I might edit it more. Might take out the runners (Steve Prefontaine & Dean Karnazes) as I'm transitioning out of running as my passion for it is almost dead and dry but I'll wait and see.

Welcome to survival and society being a pyramid scheme. Never going to change.

There’s a profound quote that I think goes well with @Leo Gura‘s video on Escaping Wage Slavery... “your current level of income is directly proportionally to the amount of social debt you have to society.”

Slight update: Replaced bottom left photo, adding a 3rd picture of Christ contemplating alone... to think 2-3 years ago I was the most bloodthirsty atheist you'd ever meet... now vision is to become a mystic and a sage with 3 pictures of Christ on vision board... damn

No! It doesn’t make sense! Don’t fall into the trap of “it makes sense”. Read Ralston’s books on this and do build your concentration and mindfulness and understand your emotions. Emotions are huge in this because notice how your emotions are defense to you surviving as a self and manipulate your entire experience to escape what’s actually occurring.

@ajasatya exactly. Again, im not saying he’s of no value to learn from. I’ve tried doing what he’s done (not because I knew about him or anything but because that was my attitude towards life) and it’s just hitting your head against a wall needlessly after a certain point. If he helps inspire people to get off their ass, awesome. That’s what those people need. I can do what Goggins is talking about with my body and mind in the context of sport in a sense. I say in a sense because the more I operate from the “Goggins mindset” I actually start dropping out of races, quitting workouts, quitting entire seasons, etc. I perform my best and can go more when I drop that whole narrative. Kilian Jornet, if we’re going to talk about running, is a great guy I love as a world class athlete who is extremely positively motivated and does thing that people will look at and think is impossible. Take the gold from his story, and leave the rest.

What does it mean to be a sage/mystic? What role do they play? What do all mystics and sages have in common? What makes each sage and mystic different from each other? How does one really become a sage/mystic? What are sages and mystics NOT? What are the contributions of a mystic/sage?

What Ralston is very profound. Even if you read what he’s talking about, he’s too clear. Pain only exists under the deep assumption that you are actually something harmful to you, something that’s hurting you as a self. Again, let’s go to the root canal example of Ralston without pain killers. You can literally experience a root canal without pain killers and not “be in pain”. Pain becomes a distinction that you stop creating. However, you’re probably going to need to have an enlightenment on what your nature is and have the insane concentration and mindfulness to do what he’s talking about because of all the emotional reactions that connects to you as an ego that come with “stopping pain”. I suggest, rather than just learning to just withstand more of the emotional beating you give yourself (because whenever you suffer, you’re still creating it and doing it to yourself regardless of whether it’s from sitting on a cushion, you exerting yourself in some way in some athletic endeavor, or suffering from the loss of a loved one or have your heart broken) and create a bigger capacity for that, wouldn’t it be better to learn what all of that is? To the degree that it becomes an experience you can stop creating entirely which will allow room to operate more effectively rather than just fight with yourself. I don’t know. A lot of people actually don’t want to choose that because they want some fictional like David vs Goliath battle with themselves that they think is better because they’ve made a whole story and narrative out of their suffering.

Not that much of a fan of Goggins. So no. I’ve met Goggins and have friends who’ve run with him as I’m friends with some professional ultrarunners and none of them are really that much of a fan and at the end of the day, he’s an asshole of a personality. There’s no real humility to him at all. I’m not a fan not because I don’t resonate with his story, I feel like I resonate with it more than most people in society in a sense because I know a lot of that pain he’s talking about growing up, that hardship he went through growing up (I was never absurd like he was), and also wanting to let that out in running as running has been my life for some years but that approach just doesn’t work for me. I know a lot of people will look at that as some cop out but when I lived my life reacting in the aggressive “fuck you” attitude to the voice in my head and that I’m some tough motherfucker, it destroys pretty much everything and I burn out. There’s some good componenents to Goggins like ownership, accountability, responsibility, etc. so I’m not saying he doesn’t have anything to offer. Not at all. I’ve just kinda accepted that transition out of where Goggins is coming from because it just leads to more misery, unnecessary anger, making this whole stupid thing out of my life story when there are people who’ve had it way worse than me (and worse than him) and they’re humble. Understand that it’s one thing to read about these people and hear them talk on a podcast or something, it’s another thing entirely when you meet these people. I remember that when I met Michael Jordan at his camp 3 years in a row. That man was my god. I actually used to wish when I was a kid he was my 2nd dad. When I actually talked to him I just remember being repulsed with his level of narcissism. These kinda people serve some healthy principles to society that I agree we should emulate, but for me, that’s about it. I don’t want trash Goggins because I know what he’s talking about in a lot of different ways but yeah, just not a fan.

Probably Om Swami’s memoir.