kieranperez

I sure hope so for his sake. Prior posts make skeptical of that but hey, hopefully I’m wrong.

God you’re an idiot. If you’re as woke as you say you are, go fucking do something in their world and get off this damn forum bullshitting around. Otherwise just stfu. You and others like you lack fucking empathy. You’re waiving around your bullshit in other people’s faces as though your helping them. People who are actually looking for help on a forum and want to have a real legitimate online discussion. You’re not kidding anyone other than you.

I think I’m going to hold off on the LSD. Honestly, my life is in shambles and I think, even if I have a good experience on LSD, it’s likely to turn into an addiction and a crutch to escape my life. My self esteem, confidence, etc. is so shitty right now that I think this might be the wrong thing to do right now. I have a job that pays dick in retail, I wake up every morning mad and really upset at myself because of how much I don’t want to get up in the morning and don’t want to go through the day knowing I have nothing to look forward to, nothing I’m working towards, no conception of what I want to work towards, etc. From that, to having no friends, not having gotten laid in a year and a half, stuck with ADHD, terrible with money, making barely any money, providing no value, have no mastery, living with a support system that shits on me, not able to move out, having a terrible addiction to my phone, etc... I don’t think psychedelics are really going to change anything. I’m still going to be back at baseline. I’m at a point where I don’t feel like living anymore because I feel so hurt from the shit I did and also didn’t do in life. I think this is just me trying to find a quick fix. Thanks anyways.

If you’re like me, someone who sucks with me - someone has spent a lot of years not wanting to think about it, has unhelpful spending habits, doesn’t know much or anything about budgeting, has some outstanding bills that are building up that are hurting your credit score, and have a horrible mindset when financial challenges arise (personally I have a feeling my chest that feels like I’m dying) - then I think that this nonprofit financial services link might be a big help. I’m about to talk to them and this looks like a really legitimate site with great foundational services. I found this link in one of the books on Leo’s booklist and this seems like a great help. https://www.moneymanagement.org/

@zambize this is definitely awesome advice. Forgot to mention that I was planning on only going to start with 1 hahaha I never really smoke weed but last time I did it was a month and a half ago, which was my first time in more than a year, and after I had 1 hit from a vape pen I had a radical Kundalini awakening, astral projection, and opening of my third eye... so in case you want to know if I’m a lightweight hahahahahaha One of the things I intuit I’m probably going to face is my lack of authenticity and my utter snake nature of my chronic lying and phoniness. As far as bad trips, in a weird sense I do kinda “want” to know what would pop up. I know I have A LOT of shit from my past from growing up and a lot of deep seeded issues that can really come up that, for some strange reason or another, I’ve always “wanted” to finally face to be like ‘I’m finally seeing whats been causing this’. At the end of the day, if it needs to come up, even though I acknowledge this is before the fact.

Any advice helps

@zambize won’t be taking it until probably next week. As far as emotional state goes, it really depends. Right now on the macro level, my life is numb. I’ve really lost any sort of vision, passion, ambition, and direction for my life. Which is the main reason I’m doing this trip. The nondual consciousness work and realizations I can pursue later in regards to usage of psychedelics I think... although I certainly won’t reject an ego death if it starts going they way in this trip. I can hit some deep depressions as early as when I wake up where I struggle to get up in the morning and be at home with my dad and brother because I feel like I’m wasting my life at a retail job that I’m so dissatisfied with in yet I have no direction or vision of what to do, what I want to do and pursue at least in the short term (few years). I don’t want to lie about that because 1. I want to stop lying, 2. I know that that is definitely a huge playing factor as to what can happen in the trip. I really just have no direction anymore and I’ve completely lost touch with any sort of blaring intuition with what I want out of life, what I want to pursue, and so on. I’m aware of the possible dangers of this stuff which is why I’ve held off for many years now but I’m so lost in my own ego-mind’s victim stories that shut down any sort of vision for my life and so forth. I feel like I need to trust that, yes there’s a risk, but sometimes we do need to take a risk. I feel like this could be the opportunity I’ve really been in need of to access a higher state of consciousness and also intuition that can drown out that ego-mind and reveal something. Of course it can be the other way. At the same time though, I’ve been so terrified and security all these years that that is exactly why I’m still at home. I haven’t been willing to put my ass on the line.

@Aeris that’s some interesting advice right there. Thanks I’ll make sure to leave some paper, pens, and pencils lying around. Will definitely have some music at my disposal when it’s needed.

There is no static authentic self (unless you’re talking about complete Nothingness). As far as your character, yeah you’re always changing. This is why enlightenment is necessary in order to truly understand and learn how to embody true authenticity through trial and error. This is also why it’s important to apply radical ruthless honesty. All your lies, phoniness, pretending, putting on a certain image is important because it burns all of that up. I suggest you look into the following resources: Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton Practicing Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton Peter Ralston’s books Peter Ralston’s Cheng Hsin Workshop: Communication & Relationship Psychedelics God

@Aeris good god fucking chill. Look, I know what it’s like to struggle in school because we were in a very antiquated educational system. Believe me, I don’t have much I grant the modern education system. But you’re not more special than anyone else. Yeah you’re unique, and so is everybody else. And we’re also all exactly the same. These things are worth outgrowing. OCD, ADHD/ADD are not neuroses worth parading around for if you can do what you can to correct them. Stop creating some stupid story out of this stuff. They’re not true nor real for that matter. Who and what you are is not a gender. You’re not a personality. You’re not any of these things. Drop this stupid identity game. After a certain point it’s just juvenile. If you want to have sex with a man, have sex with a man. You want to have sex with a woman? Have sex with a woman. You want to have sex with an animal? Have sex with an animal. You want to have sex with a vegetable? Have sex with a vegetable. You want to have sex with inanimate objects, do that too! Journaling is a struggle for me personally. Much easier (though still challenging) to make a video journal that I put onto OneNote. As far as how helpful I find it... not very. Right now my life needs to tangible real world action and solutions (followed by some journaling, writing, strategizing, etc.).

First off, I’m not denying that the reality of the universe being energy and all that and I get where you’re coming from. Certain people do have certain talents that are subject to genetics. Again, don’t be too black and white. Talent exists and it is a real phenomena in this relative world. Not everybody has the physical giftedness of Kenyans in endurance running, or the mind of an Albert Einstein, or the talent of Michael Jordan in basketball. All because it worked for you doesn’t mean your path is everybody else’s path. It just doesn’t turn out that way in real life. Same with success. Not everybody can be Bill Gates or be a millionaire for that matter due to a variety of limiting factors. That’s not an excuse. There’s still extordinary things we can do as people given our own indivual and unique strengths, and fortunate circumstances. To make a counterpoint. You’re alluding to something Sadhguru has talked about before even regarding ADHD involving energy, yogic practice, etc. I want this to be made clear: I do not discredit this at all. I’m not saying ADHD is some fixed distinction. I’m referring to more symptoms because again, there’s always going to variance from person to person. I do certainly without a doubt believe that what you’re talking about can work. Particularly if it’s a process and training conducted under a master like Sadhguru or other such gurus. But that doesn’t mean that that is what’s going to work for everyone. Again, I’m not calling you full of shit. I’m saying it’s partial because that stuff just doesn’t work in the real world in the sense that “this worked for me so it’ll work for everyone because ___”. I would also suggest you drop this false distinction between “natural and unnatural”. Other than that, I’m glad you’re past this.

Cut the mental masterbation. Get to Turquoise and then drop this model. Models are meant to eventually be transcended and discarded.

That site hasn’t worked for me at all. Every time I try and pay it doesn’t work. I’ve askeda couple friends to pay for it and I Venmo them but it doesn’t seem to work for them either. Thanks man Your perspective is partial. ADHD is overdiagnozed. Without a doubt. However that doesn’t mean that it’s not a real thing. There are people out there, myself included that have legitimate ADHD. I’m a bit of a weird case because I was on Adderall (and other ADHD medication that I had to experiment with when I was younger) for 17 years so what effects that has had on my brain chemistry isn’t something I (nor can anyone) can really say with pure certainty and what caused it. Also this notion that all because you clean up your eating, meditate, decrease media consumption, etc. doesn’t guarantee or cure all issues. It’s just not true. Yes, those things are important and should be pursued. Not debating that. But the notion that that all of a sudden means you’re all well and good for every single person is just a fantasy. I get where you’re coming from though so thanks.

This is funny for me because this shows how radically different I am in a lot of ways in my own worldviews, what I held as true, etc. back then I was basically a mindset in between Jordan Peterson & Sam Harris with a very Orange libertarian view on economics, politics, etc. because that’s what I grew up under. Safe to say, I got the partial truths in those views but have tossed the rest and no longer subscribe to any of that. Anyways... I digress. As a lot of us Americans are (hopefully) aware, Bernie Sanders is back running for president. For those that are even the slightest bit familiar with Spiral Dynamics, Bernie Sanders is of course Stage Green. Spiral Dynamics really has helped me fine tune my understanding of (democratic) socialism along with a bunch of others things. Believe it or not I was a total anti Bernie supporter in 2016 (I was a very militant Orange). However, I’m definitely in support for him this upcoming election. Definitely voting for him. With all of that said, I wanted to raise some concerns, interesting points, and also a question regarding some side effects of his policies: I’m skeptical as to how much of his agenda he realistically can make a reality (I don’t see how in 4 years he can make Harvard or even state schools like UC Berkeley free of tuition). One of the things I notice from a Spiral perspective is that Bernie actually talks Green values. Evolution takes place, as Ken Wilber puts it so clearly, as a process of transcend and include. One of the things I see that’s been missing in US politics is that it Orange and Green candidates tend to avoid talking interior (moral) values and instead talks economic policy and such issues. Thus leaving value talk to conservative ethnocentric Stage Blue. I notice that most Orange and especially Green candidates end up struggling because of this very point, they exclude rather than include Blue through “values talk”. Both Green and Blue are “others oriented” and I think Bernie fits the bill well because he’s the kinda candidate who was able to get a lot of people with his talk on values. Which is at least partially why, at least I think, when Bernie lost in 2016 a lot of Bernie supporters either gave up and didn’t vote or instead ended up voting for Trump. I think candidates who talk values & policy together have a way of getting people more involved emotionally and actually help evolve. What do you think a Bernie election will mean for smaller businesses?

Bring out the keisaku in Zen

Lol pro tip: don’t go into the business of helping people with their trauma. You’re just going to cause more damage from your own ignorance. Your “understanding” (and that’s a compliment after that dribble) is mayopic.

Translation: I like to project my own expectations, judgments, and assumptions onto Leo who tends to call me out on my thick headed ness anyways

Feel free to keep quoting Sadhguru. Your ignorance of other people’s suffering is pathetic and honestly regressive. People who have been in say the military or have been raped can have levels of PTSD that you clearly cannot appreciate. The absolute wrong advice 99% for those people would be what you’re advising. You don’t tell someone whose suicidal whose ready to jump off a bridge or put a gun in their mouth from years of legitimate trauma that it’s their fault in creating all these mental stories or even that they need to love themselves. Grow up and get out of your naïve nondual fantasy bubble. 100% can concur with this in my own life and including in even just my last girlfriend. Yes and no. Overall this is far too simplistic. Everybody is wired different. Some people can cope with certain types of trauma better than others for reasons that have yet to get any sort of valid explanation. I’ll use a popular internet self help icon for this, David Goggins. I know plenty of people who’ve dealt with what Goggins has gone through in life and they don’t end up like that or anywhere close. Hint: it’s not they just sucked it up. We’re all extremely different in how we’re wired. “Rational objective thinking” (still all emotional & subjective but don’t want to open that hornets nest because I know what you’re trying to say) I found is only really possible once you’ve opened up to the pain itself. That right there, depending on how you’re going about it can take years. Which is why talking about this is hard because saying all this in terms of a linear sequential process is not really how it tend to turn out in the real world. You’ve gotta work with layers and layers of defense mechanisms and reconciling and eventually busting through those and how fast or how hard do you bull your way through it? This is where this stuff become very gray because we’re all different from our current levels of self love, emotional intelligence, self esteem, current capacity to tolerate pain/suffering, how much shit has gone in our lives, etc. Retracing though, I found I can only look back at the traumas in my life “objectively” once I’ve been able to really open myself up to it to begin with. You can have a solid and thorough understanding of the battle field until you’ve scoped it all out.

Be in total a-symmetry on psychedelics Have a bad trip (I’m so full of sunshine on this forum) Mindfulness Meditation Radical Honesty until you die (more sunshine) Holotropic Breathwork / Shamanic Breathing Reichian Therapy

@zambize yeah exactly. Bottom line, we don’t know. We don’t know the full context. That gurumag.com article is based on a website whose business model is quite clearly based around trying to “expose fake gurus”. I’m sure there are a lot of fake gurus but that’s a function of something much more broad. It’d be a mistake to say it’s bullshit. It’d also be a mistake to say it isn’t bullshit. It’d be truthful to take both into account and also acknowledge you flat out don’t know. I’m not saying don’t draw a conclusion for yourself. Just be mindful of how you create your conclusion. When a person is sent to jail for a murder no one was around to witness, you have to make certain conclusions. Again though, be careful and mindful of how you create your conclusion. Embodying full uncondtional love is such a radical thing to apply practically in your life because the more you surrender to love the more it’s going to fuck with certain surivival processes like how you earn or don’t earn a living, your sexual cravings, etc. That’s something you’ve gotta go through a deliberate long arduous process over the course of maybe decades if that’s something you deem worth doing and pursuing. @Leo Gura brings this up all the time on here and I’m honestly surprised this doesn’t hit home for most others on here of how easy it is to abuse power. When you have hot “spiritual women” who come to you from around the world that are willing to surrender themselves to you so they could receive your divine grace, you could convince to rub their tits on your face if you really wanted to (especially if you are developed enough too), and not only saying no to that but to be so purified that such an idea doesn’t even occur to you, that’s NEXT LEVEL SHIT. Power is so easy to abuse. This is why I’m impressed by people like Sadhguru who, as far as I know, don’t do that and have the level of integrity and leadership to do what he’s doing with Isha on the mass scale that he’s doing it. It’s astonishing. This is why I both can’t blame yogis for going into a cave or enlightened people laying low after they’ve gotten so fucking awake because you’re on such a different level playing field on 1 end that there’s so much to that because awakening yourself is hard enough, the responsibility and integrity of lifting tens or hundreds of thousands or even millions of people is so next level that they can foresee all the stuff that comes with that and would rather avoid further damage in the future. It also makes me appreciate masterful sages that much more because it shows you how rare that is. How hard that is. How much radical selfless yet total 100% ownership they took on and able to execute on. We take this shit for granted. Hell take Leo even. He’s only come out with 1 course and a booklist. You know how much money he could’ve made making courses and milking the shit out of his current following? Most of you on the forum take this shit for granted and then when it comes to taking more responsibility spew out bullshit about how all of that is just ego bullshit. If you were in Moojis position, God help those whose lives you would’ve damaged from your own egotism.

Consider all the other examples too of the gurus you know nothing about and never hear from who are just leading their disciples in their own context and stage of development who are quite effective and don't get any recognition because they couldn't give 2 shits about that. Be able to see both ends of the coin. Not excusing what Mooji may have done.

It's not that @Salvijus is wrong he just lacks empathy and wants to be some nondual elitist who can't encourage someone whose on the right track. Yes, from the absolute total metta perspective you are the cause of everything because you are everything and always have been everything since there is not but everything. It's all been you. But guess what, if a guy punches you in the mouth, yes in one sense you are the cause of that because you did put yourself in that situation in one sense or another for there to even be that situation but also it's not you're fault. You didn't make that guy punch you. All 3 are true. These nondual keyboard warriors on here who pose a front lack empathy and I'd be my life savings even a single awakening. If someone is truly suffering and is depressed and is about to kill themselves, you don't go them and tell them they're the cause of everything and that it's the mind and all that. You respond to them with love and a non-judgemental hand. @BjarkeT glad you're getting it. Just don't be neurotic about that insight in terms of it's application in your own life.

Don't take these people to be perfect. Once again, for you nondual elitists on here, enlightenment doesn't make you perfect. You still have a shadow. You will always have a shadow. Enlightenment will not fix your character flaws and many other neuroses. This is not new. This may be new to you in terms of your life time but as far as human existence is concerned, this has always been the case. Enlightenment DOES NOT equal moral perfection. This is why being awake as fuck and leading others towards the raising of mankind's consciousness are 2 TOTALLY DIFFERENT endeavors. This instance does not take away from the helpful benefits of having even just 1 guru. This should show you the challenge post awakening at how much work you have left after enlightenment. The work doesn't end. Development in the 21st century demands a holistic integral approach. You're just not going to get around that these days. If this were 1000 years ago, this instance with Mooji would be a cultural norm because it was for the most part. Human development is going towards more all inclusiveness so you need to have a more all inclusive development. Which is why for those of you who may have a vision of starting some Turquoise ashram or spiritual communitity or monastery, beware that this demands more all inclusive and holistic personal development than ever before in mankind's history. It's not enough to just be awake as fuck. Shadow work, cognitive development, deep understanding and application of systems thinking, etc. these are things you cannot leave aside anymore. This is why those of you wish to deny taking 100% responsibility and ownership over your development of how perfect and whatever other excuse you have for not taking on more ownership for your development are shooting yourselves and also others in the foot. Gurus are still helpful. Find a responsible who both speaks to your sole but you can also look at in terms of how he conducts himself and goes about his daily business and ask "is that worth emulating? Is this someone I wish to submit myself to?"

The article provided in the link below really struck me at how universal this issue is all domains of human life. The world wide web has shaped culture at an order of magnitude I personally don't think people 30 years ago could have ever expected. It was, as far as far as my limited understanding can take me, built as a noble invention meant to serve mankind. Notice how that's the same situation for anyone whose ever created anything that has had lasting value and impact in time such as: Christ & Christianity (if he was a historical person) Buddha & Buddhism The fathers of quantum mechanics The Founding Fathers of the United States We can expand this list A LOT more as we can imagine. I think it's important to read these kinds of accounts because it makes us whom are interested in having an impact in the world and create something have a higher elevation perspective of the ramifications of what we're putting out into the world with our life purpose and make us question "is what I'm doing really going to advance mankind?" "How might my creation and impact affect the world 5, 10, 20, 50+ years down the road?" "How might an ego, the collective ego, or my own ego co-opt this down road?" This is where systems thinking & having a long time horizon that goes beyond your own lifetime becomes extraordinarily practical. You still becoming more mindful of the actions you take and don't take on both the metta and micro level. Think about this with your life purpose. https://www.apnews.com/1a944fcf10c445f2a87fcd5c2d0320e5

I was referring to Jesus to highlight a point as an antithesis to the original post.