kieranperez

@iTommy my astral projections aren’t “complete” though. What I mean by that is that it’s not the full fledged thing (whatever the full fledged thing is, I don’t know) relative to other reports that are out there from those who do astral project intentionally through practice. I think part of the reason why my astral projections are weak is anxiety. Anxiety in that “oh shit this is actually happening to me!” It’s not a terrifying or fearful thing really. Just an emotional anxt that I think brings me back down... also my dad is usually in the other room ? The psychic stuff as far as claravoyance is weird because it just seems normal. I’ve had certain “connections” with people in my past where I just always intuitively knew when say something was wrong, even if they weren’t in my direct experience. Like my ex girlfriend. She could’ve been in another city and I would text her asking her “what’s wrong?” And she’d be appalled at how I always knew what was wrong and why (it wouldn’t be concrete but I’d have the general gist). I never made much of it. I think we tend to take our imagination overboard with some of the psychic stuff for sure. It really just comes as a knowing. Like the way you recognize a thought. Or like you have a faint or strong intuition of what you want to do next with your life. I do think psychic occurrences like levitation and seeing people’s karmic patterns and akashic records are possible and other forms of psychokinesis are possible but I think it really comes to at least one of two things: Psychic giftedness (to an extrodinary degree of we’re talking levitation and all that stuff with advanced siddhis that) HARDCORE spiritual practice lead by an advanced guru/practitioner... going beyond enlightenment and into working with occult sciences, and other energy practices within certain small niche schools of yoga. and such things. I just don’t think we’re close (hundreds and hundreds of years) to our culture being able to accept such possibilities in the masses. Even if you saw a man levitating or doing some crazy shit, would really believe it? We still have conspiracy theories on if 9/11 even happened.

The same reason why we contemplate towards our true nature. I don’t know and I want to know.

Where do you see me “looking for answers”? Where do you see me asking you what your opinion is on what a belief is? When you don’t know, DEEPLY don’t know, the possibility of curosity is possible. When there’s curiosity there can be a sufficient inquiry/investigation/contemplation. There is no investigation without curiosity. Scurry around that whatever way you want, but thats all you be doing. I don’t care what your “answer” is because I’m not asking for one.

No curiosity, no enlightenment.

@tsuki this answers nothing.

I don’t know, You tell me

As long as Trump can remain truthful and honest... for now lol.

That’s so funny you mention those examples. I’ve been having these astral projections which I’m not even trying to do before I go to sleep and it’s just been happening. It’s even happened with my chakras “turning on” too. Isn’t strange how this stuff works? You know what’s also interesting? Those whom are gifted in their own psychic abilities to a certain degree but don’t get amplified through spiritual practice. For example: my coworker is very clarivoyant. She’ll make jokes when I start walking towards the back way ahead of time that she knows I’m coming her way. She’s meditated all her life (she’s like 55 years old) in yet this has always been the same for her. Meditation, yoga, etc. never amplified it. Which is fascinating. Even more eye opening, she finds all of it rather annoying. She’s tried toning it down because she’s tired of knowing so much about other people. Thats a tangent though... a rather interesting and insightful one though if I may say.

Dad is home!!!

So i just got home to find out by looking at my little brothers bludgened face that he and my mom (who I don’t really speak to anymore) just got back from the hospital as a result of having been beat up by a guy at Goodwill. My brother has gashes on his head, black eyes, cuts and all. My mom got hurt but I haven’t seen her. Apparently the guy who attacked them wasn’t on drugs or anything but just had a short fuse or something, was in his 30s and was a really big dude and sucker punched my little brother whose 17 and my mom whose 56. My first reaction finding out was a little anger but suddenly, and shockingly, I found the lack of truth behind it all... This caught me off guard. Granted, if I was there and saw that I still have enough anger inside to the point where if I was witnessing that I probably would’ve slit that guys throat or something. Then again, I’ve been attacked by a homeless person not even 2 months ago in the face and I couldn’t even judge him... as much as I tried which is the crazy part! So I don’t know. I just don’t know what to feel. I can’t really judge the guy who did that to my brother and mom which is getting to me. I even try getting angry but there’s no truth to it. Why is my brother and mom somehow better than him? He’s ignorant and is just a chimp reacting to life like most of us are given his own “unique” delusions and lack of development. Why should it not have happened? I feel so bad for my little brother but unlike my dad whose judging that guy as a monster and a horrible piece of shit, I want to help my brother and be there for him (even though he doesn’t want a relationship with me) but I can’t hate the guy who did this. With that said... I seriously don’t get why this keeps happening to my family. “This” meaning just these weekly events of catastrophic news and bad events of some kind or another for the last 13 years. I don’t understand at all. I don’t see this happen to other people. Just endless shit.

So I just acquired 2 tabs of roughly 105 mg of LSD. This will be my first psychedelic trip. I wouldn’t say I’m strictly going to use this for just nondual purposes although of course, that will still certainly play a role. I really want to contemplate: what I want most deeply out of life tap into my deepest vision for what impact I want to have on the world what is my heart calling forth I know it’s important to surrender during the trip. What role does contemplation serve though during the trip? How do you stay grounded enough to not get lost into the dualistic visual phenomena and even mental phenomena to contemplate deeply on certain matters? This seems to me to be quite a paradox. On the one hand you surrender completely to the trip. On the other hand it’s also important to contemplate. On the third hand(?) it’s important not to get lost in the phenomenal dualistic nature of the trip and remain grounded. What are some tips for setting intent? How to contemplate while on a psychedelic? I would like for this advice to be practical and tanbigle if possible. Thanks!

@tsuki thanks. I clarified though in the comments that I was only going to start with 1 tab. @FractalFlux yeah I don’t have the expectation that 1 acid trip is going to map out my whole life. The part where it gets tricky is that that’s what my mind is subtly looking for because my self esteem is at such a low level now. As far as the awakening aspect, yeah that would be nice. However, that’s kinda beyond what I’m currently looking for right now. The way I see it is as follows: you can cook more than just a burger when you have raw beef. You don’t always have to have a burger. You can make meatballs if you want. Or you use it to maybe create beef lasagna (now I’m hungry). Point is that I think there’s definitely more than one way to intend (and I use “intend” deliberately because once it comes on, you’re only job is to surrender completely but also maybe do some contemplating) to use these substances other than just for consciousness purposes. Like I said though, I might hold off. I don’t know. I’m just at a point with such low self esteem, depressed, lacking vision and integrity that I feel like LSD can easily become a crutch for me along with other things that will just turn out to be distractions because like you said, you still come back. Even when you take something like 5-MeO-DMT, you still come back, and if you haven’t cultivated that capacity to change and discipline and integrity to take action before the trip, then you’ll probably be right back where you were before... and maybe even worse because you might then be inclined to shortcut all other personal development like life purpose, getting survival and your finances handled, etc. to chase the highest thing without working on the foundation that needed to be laid.

An important insight I just realized about regarding leadership, interaction/communication/relationship, and sameness vs. difference: Powerful influential leaders are very strategic to cultivate sameness with others. To extend that... Powerful leaders cultivate sameness with others in their interaction with others where there are very strong conceptual differences in order to plant in their minds that there is a common ground (sameness) which can help build a bridge or a link to allow for a shared and common identity and thus inclusion. Let's give a few examples to make this concrete and tangible: If you go to another country and you're not familiar with their customs, it's helpful adopt certain mannerisms or styles and usage of language or ways of relating emotionally to help build a common bond with another. Those of you who have ever been an immigrant or an expat probably know exactly what I'm talking about... but did you do it consciously and strategically? If you're running for a political office (let's say you're running for president) like say here in the United States where there's quite a variety of different cultures and also people at different stages of Spiral Dynamics and you're coming into the presidential race with 2nd Tier leadership orientation, you would probably find a way to appeal and build ground with those at ethnocentric stage blue and then use that as a way to lead them to your agenda that helps elevate them to say stage orange and also help them include you in their identity. If you have a life purpose that's very grand and involves a leadership role or even in your relationships with others, this is an insight you should start contemplating and strategizing to implement and most importantly... PRACTICE!

@zambize look at Sadhguru and what he's done. He can appeal to anyone from a rationalist in a cublic - a yogi in a cave who hasn't spoken in 10 years - an illiterate family and community in a rural part of India - those in the US who are suffering the consequences of hedonism - economic titans - political leaders.... Who can't he touch?! How can he do this?! Simple. He understands how to appeal to people's sameness while having a strong and powerful enough vision to lead them towards and thus elevates them. The nondual thread on here is usually just a shit-show because people want pretend they're know-it-all's as an excuse to not take action on the stuff in the world that needs to be resolved. I was shock at the response I got from people on here by exclaiming how greater consciousness demands taking greater responsibility for one's own actions and development about that's all ego-mind and all these other horse shit excuses. If you want to live in a more awakened world and also more evolved world in terms of actually development (Spiral Dynamics) then we need to take the responsibility to whatever degree we can to apply these insights.

Elaborate more on that if you can... Lol YEP. You literally feel like a machine. Granted, last time I got that feeling was years ago (close to maybe 10 years... maybe more), but man... when I first had that it was like I went from being this broken mind exuding all this effort to work my mind right and then all of a sudden everything just happened without ever and I literally was a machine. I mean, for those who truly struggle with ADHD... man, when you feel that clarity for the first few times, it's the best moment ever because things FINALLY feel like they're working. Try and imagine a race car with low oil, a turbo engine problem, a broken engine, etc. and can't even take off the runway. Meanwhile the driver is at the runway pressing on the gas as hard as he can and utilizing everything in the cockpit to get the car to take off but nothing is working in this broken car. Now imagine all of a sudden in an instant that car is fixed at the same moment that guy is still hammering down on the gas and then all of a sudden he goes from 5 mph (or 8 km for my metric friends) to 300 mph (or just shy of 500 km per hour). That's what Adderall feels like for someone with ADHD. You know what's funny @Serotoninluv? When I first tried to get off Adderall it was the most impossible task because I would have this fatigue that was frightening because I couldn't get out of bed. If I say woke up at 8am and didn't take Adderall by the time it was close to 11am, I'd be back in bed and be asleep till maybe 1 or 2, get up, eat half asleep, piss, and go back to bed. Driving would be a nightmare, everything. But then in December of 2017 I switched from 20mg XR to 20mg immediate release and tapered down to 10mg for like 2-3 weeks and then just took a risk, went completely off... no withdrawal. It was weird. Though now I'm noticing worse and worse cognition each and every week and also my short term memory is getting shittier.

@Wisebaxter okay because my line of thinking has been coming from my relationship with ADHD meds like Adderall when I was on it for 17 years (along with a host of other ADHD meds). In the time where Adderall was working really for me it was great but on the days when I didn’t take it there was no residiual benefit on the days I didn’t take it. Which makes me ask the skeptical question of - are you actually improving in your baseline level of consciousness and cognition it is it just the substance doing the work for you? I don’t mean to be cynical in my questioning, I just feel so much doubt in my trust for substances in terms of actual legitimate growth and change after almost 2 decades of dealing with pharmaceuticals. @Bluebird I’m honestly looking for something to really genuinely help me. Quite honestly, I’m tired of “signs”. I can’t work since being off Adderall for this long. I’m not in a place cognitively where I care about signs. Don’t mean to sound punchy at all. Just this whole subject matter regarding pills and stuff drive me a bit crazy because Im tired of being lead astray with a bunch of pills.

There are plenty of professional runners who have terrible running form. Good example are plenty of the Ethiopians and Kenyans. Yeah, don’t buy arch inserts. Invest your time in taking responsibility of your mechanics and foundational strength and mobility work and learning this stuff.

@DrewNows to counterbalance all the stuff I said on mechanics, don’t be too much of a reductionist about it.

I wouldn’t say it’s a direct correlation to the per say but you have to see the body as a system. When you’re feet out of shape to the point of attrophy (aka flat feet), you’re feet can’t function the way they’re supposed to and absorb shock sufficiently. That’s going to translate into everything going up the chain. That’s not to say that that’s all because you’re feet are weak. That could just be one point of the problem. I’d bet my life savings that you probably have horrendous running form (that’s nothing on you, most people... pretty close to everybody these days have terrible running mechanics for a myriad of different reasons). I’m not talking about pronoation. I’m talking about knee drive, how you drive your arms, are you crossing your center of mass, are you overextending (heel striking), do you have a slight forward lean leading from your hips and core, do your knees cave inwards or poke out laterally, hows your hip mobility and rotation, how strong are your glutes, how much are they being utilized, do you do strength work, what kind of strength work, is it functional towards running or you just doing it blindly doing irrelevant exercises, hows your cadence, what’s your relationship to the ground like, do you pull the ground under you when you run, hows your trail leg, etc. I can keep going if I wanted to. This is not to say be some neurotic perfectionist because no one has perfect form because we don’t have perfect a-symmetry. Look at any pro and point to me a single one in the last 100 years that has perfect point for point a-symmetry. But most people still run awful. Most people go into running only through running and are surprised by how much they get hurt. It’s like if went into a hardcore Zen Sesshin with 13 hour sits without having established my posture and have never meditated and eat junk food. Good luck not collapsing.

Do you retain the benefits of your meditation progress if you were to take a day off from modafinil?

@zambize read Born to Run by Christopher McDougal. It’s a little black and white but an inspiring read. Think Carlos Castaneda but with running .

Thank you for posting this. The amount of advice I give towards people who have weak feet (which is pretty much almost everybody in the world these days) who complain about fallen arches, have chronic foot injuries (and injuries as a whole for that matter), etc. is all geared towards this: DEVELOP THE MUSCLES IN THE FOOT. YOU CAN BUILD AN ARCH. I definitely would confine this too Yoga because physical yoga is just one way of doing it as far as system. Really what we’re talking about is build the muscles in the foot. If we saw in the West what a healthy human foot looked like, it would seem shocking. @zambize the same way it’s possible for a man who weighs 400 pounds to lose all that weight. Fallen arches are not a natural thing. Just like being 300 pounds is not a natural thing. People “who are born with it” or like 0.01% of the population. Human beings, from a physiological standpoint, are designed to run LONG distances. No I don’t mean a marathon. I mean 50 miles, 100 miles+ at a time. The entirely leg is a spring. The arch is a spring. It’s whats absorbs shock. The plantar fascia of the foot when it’s strong is designed to absorb shock from the bottom of the foot, through Achilles, calf, all the way through the glutes and back. @pluto there is no evidence of that at all. If you look at kid whose active barefoot, he has a strong arch. A flat foot is an atrophied foot. Strength and mobility, Strength and mobility, Strength and mobility, Strength and mobility, Strength and mobility, Strength and mobility, Strength and mobility, STRENGTH AND MOBILITY

@JohnnyBravo I think it’s because I live in the US. I’ve talked with @Sahil Pandit on this too who lives in California like I do and it doesn’t work for either of us.

Personality types show common patterns. You could make an infinite number more personality types as that’s the nature of making distinctions. I certainly think personality tests are helpful. I wouldn’t cling to them though. They point out tendencies you have had even prior to taking the tests. I see a lot of people, myself included (particularly recently), getting too fixated on them though so don’t try and base your decisions based on tests. Regarding the cleaning up aspect of which you mention, that’s where radical, ruthless, non-manipulative honesty comes in in your interractions with others and with yourself. This burns the boat of all the pretending (there’s A LOT). This is incredibly powerful. Honesty is a spiritual practice that we don’t appreciate. Honesty is transformative in myriad of ways. Also, shadow work. You will always have a shadow and that work will empower you to become more and more authentic.

God “itself” is facetious.