kieranperez

@kieranperez what are your thoughts on this?

Listen to this guy ^ on this subject

Appreciate the clarification

Cut your dogma. This distinction of “drug” is such a convenient self-deception to muddy the waters. I’m not saying “modafinil gives you motivation.” The motivation is a by-product. When you’re so depressed you’re ready to end your life and then you find a solution that helps really alleviate that and now you can smile and actually feel good for a whole day, I can 100% guarantee you’ll have more motivation, hope, confidence, and faith to live your life to the best you can. I don’t care what gives you that so long that it works.

@ravlondon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA

I wasn't looking for conceptual answers with this post LOL I posted this with the intent to share a potentially potent and effective contemplation with those who are struggling moving beyond belief into true deep not knowing. I'm not looking for written conceptual answers. Whatever you or I write is not the truth and doesn't make a damn bit of difference as far as becoming conscious goes. Appreciate the intent from those of you aren't coming from the place of being some non-dual keyboard warrior but yeah, not looking for theories or explanations. You can't tell someone what a belief is at the end of the day and have that really make a difference in their direct experience.

I’ve been meditating on what the existence of belief is. In order to really start questioning, deeply not knowing, bringing up deeper curiosity, allow for more powerful questioning, and investigation I’ve really been keen on questioning and investigating what exactly is this filter (beliefs) that’s keeping me from being able to deeply question things. Despite the fact that I’m someone that’s deeply curious and has profound questions, my ability to contemplate at a hardcore level is stunted essentially by 2 things (keeping life situations out of this context): Horribly poor concentration... at times - working on that ADHD with the help of @Robby believe it or not along with concentrative meditation. However, at night I notice I’m abnormally calm and can drop into deep borderline samadhi like concentration where my observation can be totally unobstructed for several minutes at a time... quite surreal. Beliefs Starting this contemplation I thought ‘I really just want to grasp the existential nature of what a belief is. So, rather than start with something like the belief that I’m Kieran... let’s start with a more ordinary one.’ What I noticed though interestingly enough was that no matter what belief I really decided to work with... it still seemed real. For example, my mind came up with ‘I don’t have any beliefs.’ First off, I recognized that trap. Which was interesting. Then I put closed my eyes and began to “look for” the belief that there is an external world. Again... my mind didn’t want to recognize that it was assuming that. In fact my assumption was that I believed I knew better to believe in an external world! There it was again! A lack of both wanting and ability to self reflect because my mind already feels like it knew. I really started to get the depths of the analogy of how a fish doesn’t recognize it’s in water. Beliefs are so tricky to contemplate because you don’t see it as a belief. One of the hard parts when you cover a lot of “spiritual theory” is that beliefs start to become even trickier to spot because then, as this stuff starts to make more conceptual sense, that becomes the new beliefs and the new self bias!

Personally Prana, Kundalini, and Chakras are something I found is something I feel more than I have to visualize. Try guiding your awareness from the bottom of your spine and proceed from there. It starts out VERY subtle from my own personal experience. It’s like when you had that friend as a kid who would put his finger close enough to your neck you can kinda feel something. You don’t know if someone’s touching you, but you feel something miniscule. Slowly it starts to be more amplified.

At the core, selfishness and authenticity are incompatible. When you awaken Love, you’ll understand that Love as your true nature and being anchored in that truth (assuming you’ve purged a lot of your shadow) and embody it, cannot keep up one’s own selfishness.

@Leo Gura I totally agree. I think your video on “Understanding Awareness” really underscores this topic well. Its so hard to even maintain honesty without falling back into one’s own egoic habits (projections, judgments, criticizing, withholding, exaggerating, downright lying, etc.) due to one’s limited capacity for mindfulness and getting trapped in the mind rather than staying present and just reporting. There’s also the trick of how you emotionally relate your communications to others. For example: if I’m angry at say my boss, I’m actually hurt. However, if I come at my boss and say “I’m hurt,” I can say the words “I feel hurt from what you said back there,” but I can still be holding on to the anger in my body, my tone, etc. so really... I’m not actually being honest. Because I can recognize ‘ah! I feel hurt!’ But that doesn’t reliquish the deception of anger and break down that barrier because in some way or another I’m still holding on to it. Its so tricky. Especially if you throw Love into the mix. Really, any time I guess your not communicating from a place of Love and Truth, I feel like, at the bottommost core you’re still lying and withholding.

@Leo Gura does REAL honesty and the growth that comes from becoming increasingly more honest only become possible through massive increases in consciousness (of what’s really true - on the relative, personal, psychological, Absolute, emotional sides)? Personally I REALLY struggle with integrity and lying. This became APPARENT in my first psychedelic trip on LSD just a couple days ago where authenticity really began to truly flourish. I’ve read Blanton’s stuff and also Ralston’s on honesty and I’ve tried applying it but I feel like my capacity to communicate authentically and truthfully is always stunted and limited by my own involvement and attachment to my ego. Like you alluded to in your recent “Becoming God” video, it became apparent to my core, not as talk through a book or self-help video that I agreed with on a conceptual level, that honesty isn’t just about what you say. It’s in the way I walk, my tonality, how I hold myself, etc. However, that’s always of course stunted by my own ego and my attachment to its character traits, habitual behaviors and emotional responses, my own shadow, my self deceptions, etc. Could you elaborate a bit on this? And also how honesty can really effect one’s survival (not as conceptual identity but in “the real world”... you know what I mean). I feel like there’s A LOT to be said about this because as far as I’m concerned, honesty seems to have the potential to be a truly powerful spiritual practice in it of itself.

I do want to take those test as I am certainly curious. That’ll take time though. Long story short, someone on here (who shall remain nameless) hooked me up with an amazing sales gig in New Jersey and is inviting me out there with him where I have a shot at earning $50k+ in 4 months to help me raise enough money to move out and get my life on track and start build my life back. Considering the fact that I’ve never even had $1000 in my own name and bank account, this is the main priority I can afford to focus on. Once the money starts to come, I’ll be able to bootstrap myself even more to get my nutrition right, get the tests I need, have a place for myself for the first time ever, and really take personal development to a whole new level. Super exicited. Right now I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. Seeing your growth has both really inspired me to a point I can’t even describe but also I feel insecure cause I’m like ‘all the work that’s out there is already out there, I’ll never get to that!’ So I’m just trying to be patient with my own growth.

Yeah i have some. I took a full modafinil and it was definitely too much as far as the crash and also the nervous stimulant feeling I got in my body and my heart. The crash felt like my old Adderall come downs but that’s definitely because I probably took too much. I got to a point on Adderall where I was so shot by 2pm I’d need to nap for 3 hours. This wasn’t like that at all but similar in terms of the exhaustion. Half a pill is all I really need. Haven’t tried armodafinil but if it’s stronger in the bodily reaction, there’s no point. I don’t need to overdo this. I’m not trying to chase perfection in feeling good.

@Leo Gura I combined it with l-theanine today and good god... lol I was pretty much borderline meditating all day. It was crazy. Those two together are a powerful stack. This could really help me leverage myself and pick myself back up. I still need to tinker with dosage but this is incredible.

LSD is also used to treat depression. You can also use it to become conscious of God. A knife can cut more than just an onion. Do your homework and read the reports from other people. Stop being lazy with how you do your research. Watch Leo’s video on Nootropics.

@Leo Gura would you say from your personal experience that total liberation/God consciousness means No-Mind and also samadhi? Or is No-Mind a separate “accomplshment”/endeavor rather than total God consciousness and liberation? How does God consciousness/liberation equate or compare to deep samadhi states like nirvikalpa samadhi, jeeva samadhi, and sahaja samadhi? P.S. I’m incredibly happy for you seeing yesterday’s video. I had my first psychedelic trip yesterday after seeing yesterday’s video and I got a taste of God for the first time of my entire life. Thank you for everything. Thank you for showing me this was possible. Will post a trip report soon.

Especially if that mans meat has gonnorhea or some other std

Idk what that means but I don’t do no fap

I must say you are good at blue balling lol

@Sleyker the degree to which its worth it to and will be valuable to you will be directy proportional to how valuable and worthwhile you deem creating a life purpose would be. If you have ambition; if you can see how this could be worth creating in your life and how powerful it can be to you and to the world by sharing your greatest gifts and contributing to something to mankind or animals or the environment to the cosmos or to all of the above in some way shape or form unique to you and you’re willing to put in the work and make the sacrificies that will be necessary to pursue your vision... then this course is fucking for you. Hope my answer is clear

Helped with my ex girlfriends TBI (traumatic brain injury) when she kicked in the temple by a horse.

I assume you’re not referring to the character shadow correct? That can still remain totally and sometimes even get worse post enlightenment. Hell, it seems like the case even with the most massive enlightenments.

Yeah that’s probably what I might do

Is it fair to say that “access” to the akashic records is something that’s gained through either psychic giftedness or something you begin to perceive after years of spiritual practice? After reading Sadhguru’s biography (pretty good read by the way), it seems like this is something that’s pretty far out in terms of how accomplished & advanced one would have to be as a spiritual practitioner or just how gifted you have to be from a young age.

@Adam M this is honestly giving me a lot more confidence in my first upcoming psychedelic trip on lsd likely this week. Happy for you man ❤️