kieranperez

Make your statement dead simple so you can tell it to someone on the street and they’d know what you’re talking about. Don’t be wishy washy in your statement.

What do you think the relationship is between a “wise channel guide” you experienced here via channeling on psychedelics vs a projection of one’s own subconscious mind if they’re on a psychedelic like say LSD or on mushrooms? If there is a difference or they still the same? Not sure if I’m using the right language to describe this but hopefully this is clear.

@Girzo Imagine you have a newborn baby you love and want to take care of. And then you get the idea of drawing on your newborn baby with your pen and highlighter and write on him/her for your selfish agenda... that’s what writing in a book feels like for me LOL

For me I find that going back and forth and what not to be extremely distracting. I remember the one time I dared violate the innocence of my book's clean pages with my filthy diseased ridden ink (half joking... maybe a quarter joking) I actually felt more engaged with what I was reading and I actually remembered the material better and would get a much deeper comprehension out of it because I'm engaged as I'm going through it. It's almost like the difference between listen to just to a teacher for hours and hours and your half engaged at best (or you're me and you're either asleep or you walk out after trying for 2 hours to listen) and then review stuff you weren't even present with the first time vs. being engaged in a dialogue with the teacher and in that process you can hear what they're saying, you can take in their point of view for yourself, you can now raise the questions you've had, etc. but as it's happening.

One of the things that really staggers me in contemplation into the truth of who and what I am is how pervasive and how welded my sense of self is. Contemplation is hard because the self as a constant fixed rigid and repetitive sense of experience is like a tree so deeply rooted to the ground you can’t pull it out. The more I get a little free, the more self “fights back”. For me as far as my own experience of my self comes as a feeling. It’s almost like it’s a bodily thing in that it feels stuck in my body. That’s the most accurate way I can think of right now to explain this. Any tips for moving beyond this? I’ve been trying to really question this self experience as not me so as to break down this attachment but how I’m pretty confused about that. How do you question something so deeply that this whole experience that feels like this living thing that’s holding this whol act together falls apart? I’ve been trying to really focus on the other end of the spectrum and just get what’s true right now regardless of all the self conceptual survival mechanisms but again... this whole thing, this whole experiential activity feels so deeply rooted and living that it feels like an anchor.

Do you just want another answer? The bottom line is you don’t know. Unless you set out to question towards the truth of what you are (and also be honest with what you’re currently identified with), any answer you get is third party heresay and belief (even it makes sense to you conceptually) and serves as another obstacle in your inquiry. What did you look like before you were born? What will you be when you die? You have to actually want to know for yourself and have a relentless willingness to seek this out.

Do you think the future of spirituality is going to become more integral, specifically on this point? Where certain spiritual masters will be adept and well versed across the board from Zen - Shamanism - Yoga - Occult/Paranormal Practices (like in the yogic or shaman schools) - Psychedelics - and do on? I feel like we’re already starting to see at least a theoretical convergence of all this with conferences like Science & Nonduality. This way their teachings and theoretical understanding can apply and serve a wider variety of people who have different weaknesses in their path towards awakening but also their strong points. Personally I think Shinzen Young is a great example of a Buddhist master whose open minded enough to look into even neuroscience, not to mention other meditative traditions. Shunyamurti I think is a good example too, although I have a lot of skepticism over some of his ideologies.

I knew this comment was coming

It’s become apparent to me that my biggest step I need to take right now internally is rebuilding my entire foundation of self-esteem and self-love. Right now I’ve pretty much given up on visioning for my life, wondering what I truly want, etc. because I’m so depressed and have such a low sense of self-worth and self-acceptance that I’m always getting lost in fantasizing about being like other people. For instance, I’ll be thinking about being some great sage or something like Sadhguru because of how inspiring his impact is or I’ll fantasize about being some other person and I’ll keep coming back down and I’m like ‘what? That’s not what this is about.’ I did some journaling and reflection the other night and it really dawned on me just how impressionable I’ve always been throughout my whole life even till now because I was never comfortable ever being okay with my own self. When i played basketball as a kid (going back to 3 years old) I would play games where I mimicked the gum chewing expressions of Michael Jordan and all his mannerisms. When I got into running I tried to copy the form of everybody I ever looked up to. When I got into an intellectual discussion with someone I mimicked my dad. When I mediate, I’m so busy trying to sit totally motionles because I’m trying to put on this front of some serious spiritual aspirant whose hardcore about enlightenment. When I stated following actualized.org I wanted to be like Leo. My aspirations have never really been truly authentic. Coupled with a few other things I’ve posted about in the past on here, I’m also deeply depressed. With that said, self-esteem, confidence, faith, and self-love are definitely the things I really need to start with to at least get myself on the right track. I’m personally really distraught because I have no real vision at all anymore because I really don’t know at all what I want. What I want to master, how I truly want to impact the world, what I want to do with my life, etc. I have the six-pillars of self esteem and I am familiar with the sentence completion exercises but there’s so many that I really dont know where to start and how to utilize them into a good system and daily habit. Have you guys found that sentence completions have even helped? How can I really practice self-love? Often times I try to practice self-acceptance as shown in @Leo Gura video on self acceptance but more often than not, I can’t really bring up that emotion. The closest thing I get is that faint sense of pleasure at best. Is self-love like just sitting down and applying love to yourself as a practice something that takes time to permeate into everyday life? Also, tips or advice on how to balance this at the same time as developing discipline, stronger character, and stronger work ethic?

Meet modern sages. Go out of your way to contact and meet these peoples. I honestly think it held A LOT to meet these kinds of people and talk to them to really see tangibly the example they set, how they are, etc.

I want to add to this point because this is the kernal that even gets advanced mediators and hardcore yogis who can reach pretty deep states of samadhi but I wouldn’t really more enlightened than anyone else. You have no real feasible shot if you don’t have a burning desire to really want to know what’s true. For those that like this here’s my advice: break down your beliefs and question them. I actually recommend people start contemplating and doing what’s called (credit to Ralston) pre-manipulation communication from that place. Start just questioning your character. Where did it come from? Start practicing real honesty as your contemplations into your sense of self slowly come apart - which helps build momentum to more and more authenticity! The your break down and look into your beliefs, the more your thirst for truth and recognition of not knowing will start to blossom. A desire for Truth is a need. Start chipping away. The more you chip away and realize you don’t know, you’ll actually be more intrinsically motivated to seek truth at whatever cost. That might take awhile though because we really gotta get to our bones we don’t know. Having said that, do that while operating in the world. Satisfy your desires for sex, fun, until it’s exhausted. Burn the candle from both end and of the stick. Personally I have a deep drive and thirst for truth but I’m so full of personal impurities and lower level needs and desires that I desperately need to handle. I personally have no inclination to stop seeking and contemplating. I’m miserable when I’m honest not connected with that in some way or another. So what I’m doing is handling both at the same time and ramping both of them up at the same time. They also empower each other.

@DrMobius my old neighbor and we had the same barber LOL

Not at all. A runners high is actually extremely rare among runners. If you’ve ever done ecstasy, it’s like that. It’s a combination of like a true flow state and feeling you’re on ecstasy that’s the closest thing I can equate that to. It’s quite surreal. Usually after a pretty long period of intense exhaustion. Like you’re running in the mountains for the last hour and a half to 2 hours and you’re absolutely gassed and then all of a sudden a switch flips and you went from being ready to fall over to you’re not even tired and you’re flying. I’ve only had that happen once on that level. This is very different. I honestly see this as almost like a shamanic exorcism of all the neurosis in the body held together by the egoic character structure as a lot of the ego is energetic holding patterns you could say. Or trapped energy. This is very similar to Reichian Therapy, bioenergetics, and also a more tame process to how Martin Ball talks about the ego and how to process and release energy.

@David Hammond I listened to a great interview between him and Wilber. Great story. How’d I forget that?!

I’m personally very inspired by Turquoise/Yellow organizations, ashrams, centers, etc. that bring together hardcore spirituality, philosophy, psychology, athletics, etc. and also some that have an ecological impact. I don’t have many examples but I would love to have a page where we can share some examples (big and small): Isha (Sadhguru) Sat Yoga Ashram/Institute (Shunyamurti) Cheng Hsin (Peter Ralston) Esalen Institute (Michael Murphy) Let’s make this list longer!

@zambize I’m still a little confused by that.

Man... that actually made me feel pretty good. Thank you man ❤️ The moment I read this I said inside “YES!” Recommendations?

@Joseph Maynor man I get it but just understand that Blue felt the same when Orange finally started “spreading”. Every stage has its excesses, it’s own hypocrises, toxicities, ideology, etc. Orange is still plenty obnoxious. Stuff like bro-culture to me has always been the biggest turn off (even when I was heavily in Orange). And I’m sure if you talk to certain people who aren’t probalt-right or aren’t for ethnocentric groups that live in central Florida, they’d have plenty of things to say about how obnoxious the KKK groups are there when they go parading around their stuff. And believe it or not... that was once a high development that was necessary at the time! Understand what’s happening on the meta level. Remember this is how it always goes whenever a new stage starts to emerge. This is how a culture reaches 2nd tier! This is growth! Change is never pretty.

@zambize my first answer that came to mind is that I’m still here. Not the sense that I haven’t killed myself, but in the sense that I still have hope. There’s still some sort of fire there is something to do. I admire the fact that I haven’t sold out my highest intention since I was a kid. Not that my highest intention is to become fully awake or something like that. But there’s something higher for me and I know that’s there and I know that thing, whatever that is, is what matters most. I see a lot of people around me who have it better than me in their life circumstances than I do, are much more successful than me (pretty much all my friends in high school) and are already killing it but have no clue really where they’re going nor know what to really do. I think what inspired me so much about enlightenment and what not since the beginning and the whole notion of “becoming a sage” is that I saw ‘this is exactly the thing I was looking for my entire life’.

@Joseph Maynor yeah man, I hear you. I mean, hell, you and I live in SF and I personally can get very annoyed by it personally. I cant even go to the Zen center here anymore because it’s too much relativism to the point where there’ll be a disucussion where they’ll be an ideological rant about how there’s no gender and all this and I’m sitting there just wanting to yell “YOURE NOT A GENDER, YOURE NOT EVEN A PERSON!”... half joking on that. So I understand because that’s what you and I personally tend to see a lot of everyday. I remember in high school, I was balancing the peak of my Orange sort of self (which I still have A LOT to work on) as a hardcore athlete that wanted a lot of success and with a very deeply entrenched Orange household with NYC fashion oriented parents who didn’t like being in nature and at the same time being deep in the Bay Area underground rave scene (like the Ghost Ship Warehouse Fire that was on CNN, used to party in that building all the time). I bring this up because I had my feet deep in 2 totally different stages and I remember being so confused because I saw the validity of both of them and also the excesses of both of them and also saw the same common problem which was their own mayopia. Again though, Green is much more evolved into love than that of Orange and especially than that of Blue for sure. Their way more inclusive and accepting. Remember, the more evolved you are, the more inclusive you become.

Sure it does. Not to the same degree because it’s values are different but it still has social moralization about those who don’t model Orange values. Whether it be direct at Green liberals in Haight where we live or at fundamentalists. Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and such people, their whole shtick is moralizing!

@Joseph Maynor you’re making the case of how Green and Blue moralize and I’m point out to you that Orange moralizes, criticizes, etc. just like them. The content is different but they still apply just as much. All because it’s not necessarily directed at the collective (like Blue and Green is focused on “other” rather than “self” like Orange) doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply.

So is Orange if you actually think about it and look. Orange’s moralism is that they SHOULD progress, people SHOULD be rational and scientifically minded and be objectivists, you SHOULD just get material and personal success. If you actually look at Orange people you will see this is kind of should’s and moralism they have. Rather than having their moralism be directly related to others, it’s directly related to themselves in advancement to their own strategic and cold logical self agenda. Look at Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, etc. they’re perfect examples of this. A lot of their careers thrive strictly off of their moralism.