kieranperez

Sounds like an ego backlash that feels like a hard uppercut to the jaw. Par for the course and is normal. Couple points: This is why developing self-love is important and also doing shadow work. Part of the reason there is that resistance that coming in the form of a mild depression is that your ego is your filter to the Love and Bliss that you are. I know what it feels like to have say a psychedelic trip to be one with universal Love and then a couple hours later I'm so depressed because as I come down slowly I'm noticing I tarnish and taint everything. It's pretty hard. More purification and love. Ego/the self ain't going down without a fight. Sustaining a conscious realization is totally different than having an awakening. A lot of awakenings aren't one's that abide but rather just create a new "set point" from which the self orients itself. That's not bad. Hell, it's WAY better than not having had any awakening or enlightenment at all. You're traversing a switchback trail looking out from a higher and higher vantage point. However, the self is still there. Breaking that down is much much MUCH harder. I suggest the above point, maybe doing some psychedelics, work on adopting honesty and authenticity as daily practices you carry on every day (that is so fucking hard it's honestly not even funny), and reading Ralston's book "Pursuing Consciousness" which specifically addresses this matter.

@montecristo @Inliytened1 awesome responses! Thanks for the feedback! Here's what I've been going through lately: To REALLY get I don't know. I'm trying to really open up to how much I take for granted and overlook. I notice that when I read something in a book that points out something using some exercises in awareness, my first reaction is always the same "how the fuck did I overlook this?!" To actually a frustrating degree because I'm trying to really cultivate my curiosity so much more but I'll get discouraged because, if I'm honest, I'll observe my perception and try to meditate on "what is perception" but I'll struggle really opening up. I'll keep noticing things I overlook only after someone shares some insight or whatever. Work on my mindfulness so that I can start being more present with what's actually occurring. This has been hard because since, due to my ADHD and not being able to get treatment that address the cognitive root issues just yet, I really struggle being able to hold my attention without having this total cognitive collapse. Cognitive issues here have really made this hard. For example, I'll meditate on something external like on an object and I'll have a few seconds where I'm calmly observing mindfully but then I'll go into this cognitive/brain fog where my attention just completely collapses. Then if I focus on say a question like what is existence, I'll notice I'll get more lost in the mental part of the question (if that makes sense) that I'll eventually get so lost and I won't even know what I'm really asking or really contemplating. Becoming more open to investigate regardless of how I feel. I'm noticing just how much I don't care about investigation a lot because I'll notice day-day I'm so lost in my routine, my problems, my emotional patterns, etc. that I don't give a shit about truth or about deeper parts of life. I really feel bothered and uncomfortable with that. Ralston's work is both so inspiring and also so discouraging at the same time. It's inspiring because I literally feel so juiced with the possibilities and just total jaw dropping wonder of "I COULD LEARN/DO THAT?!" However, the framework for his work just seems so "loose" that it's hard for me to really do anything with it. I understand totally why he avoids paradigms, creating systems, etc. in a lot of his work and that's one of the reasons I love his work. It's frustrating for me because, I really try to look at Ralston's work with the understanding that Ralston clearly an incredibly deeply fucking enlightened master (not trying to put him on a pedestal here) so when I read his work I'm trying to really slow down and be like "where is he really trying to have me come from? Where is he really coming from when he says this?" In other words I try not to take what I'm reading for granted. At the same time though, I struggle with it because I just don't have the concentration, mindfulness, or emotional centeredness to really as deep as I can with this and his exercises are basically just going straight to contemplating right away, aside from a couple small attention exercises. It skips over pretty much what it takes cognitively to really be able to drill into the meat of this work.

Well it’s coming to a vote Monday to decriminalize mushrooms this upcoming Monday in a vote in the city of Denver, Colorado. I myself am personally making amends to move out to the Denver/Boulder area this coming Fall. https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwiR1O6v5ILiAhXgJzQIHZYzBbEQzPwBCAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2019%2F01%2F09%2Fhealth%2Fdenver-magic-mushrooms-trnd%2Findex.html&psig=AOvVaw3x7A6fZ3RSM609xYVYq95N&ust=1557090528538184

*mindfully bangs head against concrete wall* https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjhuenZqoziAhVBKH0KHeFeD8gQzPwBegQIARAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.usatoday.com%2Fstory%2Fnews%2Fnation%2F2019%2F05%2F07%2Fdenver-votes-no-magic-mushrooms-historic-vote-psilocybin%2F1131741001%2F&psig=AOvVaw2_bzUgZGgUKrERqs27GZHh&ust=1557418644466072

Fuckin' gross lol Keep the whip-its out

Heres a thought experiment: Imagine the following scenario where you have: A guru A disciple A video camera The guru and the disciple are sitting down and have a video camera rolling. Let’s say the guru in his experience starts levitating. I mean, as far as he’s concerned he’s 1 foot in the air. He tells the disciple “look how I am!” The disciple looks at him puzzled and mumbles, “master... you’re sitting right in front of me. Why are you yelling? You’re not levitating.” The guru laughs and dismisses this because he knows all there is of course is 1st person direct experience. Looking back at the video tape the next day though he sees exactly what his disciple saw, an old man smiling gleefully and yelling at how he was levitating while remaining planted on the ground. So... Whose right? 2nd/3rd person perspective feedback or 1st person experience? Granted, yes, all experience does come from 1st person subjective. Even if you’re the guru looking back at the footage caught on camera or see the disciple saying how he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, that still only occurs within 1st person subjective perspective. So I’m not arguing that (nor am I arguing... I’m trying to really reconcile and see what’s I might be missing because I’m stuck on this in my own contemplations and as I’ve been having more paranormal psychic moments coming up in my life and trying to make sense of them) At the same time though... I think it would foolish to diminish the feedback. NOTE: This post is not about paranormal, psychic phenomena. I used the above example to illustrate a bigger point being made.

First off... Talking about winning the lottery LOL. Lucky fuck ? This is an amazing intro interview with a man whose been in seemingly nondual consciousness since the age of 4 years old (yes your reading skills are working just fine). This is extremely interesting because he talks about his realization being when he was at meditation retreat pursuing enlightenment in his early 20s (granted he was already in nondual consciousness) and that it wasn’t until that nondual consciousness subsided for 10-15 minutes in his sit and came back that he realized that he “had” what he was seeking his whole life but he didn’t have a context for it since enlightenment was so mystified and unclear. This is profound if we apply what @Leo Gura talks about with epistimology because he had no frame of reference or contrast for his own paradigm and experience. He also talks about what he seems to be subtly referring to siddhis and paranormal physical abilities since pure consciousness basically permeated his entire body. To wrap this all up though as far as what makes this interesting is that this guy is very clear proof that this stuff DOES come easily to people. Giftedness in this domain does exist. There are these freaks of nature who can do this stuff. It also shows in his demeanor and his speech that yeah, these guy with these powers and superhuman levels of consciousness don’t wish to talk about this stuff and really would rather stay quiet. Enjoy!

It’s good on my end

In the next week or so I’m doing a 4 month door-door sales gig where I’m working 50 hours a week 6 days a week. I took this gig from someone actually on here on the forum who I’ll be with because I have the chance to earn $20-50k this summer and I can then move out from home and start a new chapter in my life. Though this sounds great on paper, I cannot explain how terrified I feel. I was watching the video on Ego Backlash and I reall resonated when @Leo Gura talked about being in such a dysfunctional state where even the idea of change can spurt a lot of fear and massive resistance. It took me weeks to be honest with my dad who was the one in my family I always was dependent on to tell this too and he and I are on such unhealthy terms I didn’t even elicit much of a response. I have a LONG history of sabotaging my progress even if it’s from the very start and I know this job is already really intense on its own given what kinda sales I’ll be doing, the amount of hours, the emotional labor involved, etc. Not to mention the change that’s to come after this is all over... assuming I don’t blow up emotionally and sabotage my effort. I can have ego backlashes so strong so early on into new changes where I feel like I have so much anxiety I’m going to explode. This is going to be A LOT of change and obviously I dont want to blow up. Though I expect strong ego backlashes since I’ve never been away from home that long on my own, have never lived on my own, have developed a lot of dysfunctional mindsets and just way of living, etc. and I just wanted to reach out about what I can maybe do to handle these expected ego backlashes. I know self-love (though I’m often very unskilled at applying it) is going to be huge since I have a strong tendency to tear myself apart to the point where I feel like I’m in hell but wanted to see what else I can maybe do to have in my tool belt of strategies. Thanks.

@Serotoninluv can we do either about these nondual keyboard warrior? This peacocking is just getting ridiculous and silly. Dude you’re just fanning your festering pile of bullshit projections on me. How about you tell me where I lived at 5 years old next. How fast did I run the 1200m in when I was 13? Youre immature projections of who you think I am is just getting silly. “I am you so I know everything about you” is one of the most immature newb mistakes you can make. You would literally get hit with a stick if a Zen master even saw you make that mistake. Dont pretend you know me dog lol. You’re on hurting yourself. I’ve said this multiple times. I don’t really play coy when I see bullshit artists who are putting on some make believe wise man front. I will happily call your shit out. Not because I’m enlightened or something. I’m not. I’ve had little tastes and that’s it. I’ve been consistent with that. I can call you out because I know a bullshit artist when I see one. Of course, when you’re called out, your mind magnificently switches it to thinking I’m attacking you and how I’m so unenlightened for being confrontational and how I’m so ignorant for that and that’s make me “egoic” and you even stick the landing. When really I’m calling out your behavior, not you. Yeah, bullshit artists bother me. I still have shit bother me. Again, I’m not enlightened nor do I claim to be some master so I’m being honest with that. I’m still a newb. I can’t stand being a newb but where’s your humility dude? I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Keep it there. You can’t possibly consider that what worked for you might not work for a lot of other people including me. If it worked for you, awesome! But that doesn’t translate to everybody who had it the way you had it. You’re inability to introspect and have some greyscale thinking and that god forbid you’re wrong is what I’ve bedn addressing and telling you to consider.

Thought you were a 1 man shop?

It seems like every time I need just the right video from Actualized.org it always comes up at the right time... This was a very relevant episode for me. I'm right at the End Phase and also in Limbo. This is what I'll be addressing in this journal log along with the lessons I've learned. The End Phase: Right now I'm wrapping up the phase of living at home. I'm about to venture off into a hardcore door-door sales program @Robby hooked me up with from mid-May till August 30th/mid-September in Arlington, New Jersey. Joaquin is about to graduate from high school at TL and will be moving down to Santa Barbara to attend the city college there at the end of Summer. Abuelo seems to be moving towards the final days of his life since I'm hearing how he's starting to not be able to eat or drink anymore and has pretty much lost his battle to dementia. I'm starting to get ready to make amends to let go of running as a pursuit. I'm starting to cut ties with mom and I'm about to leave the protection of dad. I was even told by dad that he's planning to give Ellie away to maybe Ellen & Jerry. Although someone on the outside can easily point out the positive of how this is perfect timing for me to start my next chapter, I would be neglecting my own experience if I said it feel this way even in the slightest in my own experience (which of course is rationalized by those outside as "totally normal"). It's easy to say that and also address in language all the obstacles I'm going to face and blah blah blah. Though on paper, yes, they are most certainly correct in their linguistic analysis of my situation. However, that doesn't mean shit. From the ever evolving collapse of my family since May 22nd, 2006, to my ever increasing decay in emotional, psychological, overall egoic stability, to dropping out of college the 3 semesters I went to participate, to having to get an incomplete Junior year of high school because I was such an emotional train wreck and went to counselor saying how I thought I was going to kill myself, to quitting every single running training cycle since high school, DNF-ing the majority of races I went into after high school and the ones I did race I pretty much bombed 95% of them, to quitting dozens of workouts, to feeling more and more inferior to other peers killing it in one domain or another over the years, to never having really had sex with a girl I found truly attractive, to crashing multiple cars wasting tens of thousands of dollars of my parents' money... do I really need to go on? I feel absolutely emotionally drained. Crying has become almost a daily thing because I have so much anxiety that I'm like a pot boiling and eventually blows out steam because it can't take the pressure being held inside. I've lost so much self-esteem, personal integrity, and the willpower to sustain even the most minor endeavors like meditating for 15 minutes. With the closing of this "End Phase" I feel a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear. I also am desperately holding onto what fate I still have within me. As much as it doesn't feel like it when I'm going through one of my daily emotional bad patches, reminding myself after I let what I have out of my system that I can get through this, that I do have more, that there is light at the end of this tunnel, that this is (in a sense) normal and other people too have made it through this and worse does help because that helps me emotionally regather myself and "put back on" the right perspective of how I can use this summer to move out fully be in the "Limbo Phase" where I can spend deliberate time healing, soul-searching, really regather myself, change my environment by moving to Denver/Boulder, camp, be in the mountains, etc. As drained as I am, I know I have to close this chapter with all I got and finish it. Right now I'm running down the last bend about to make it onto the final home-straight where I have to give everything I have this summer. I'm usually pretty good when I gather my inner strength and pulling myself back up and letting everything I have out in the final 100-200m of a race and claim every scalp I have in front of me with authority. I think I can do that here this Summer. I have it in me. The Limbo Phase: I've been trying so hard racking my mind on the Life Purpose Course. I feel like I've exhausted the amount of mental and emotional effort I can possibly put into that course since purchasing it back in June 2017. Though I have 8 Solid Top Values & My Top 5 Strengths locked in and starting to really be able to intuit what my real Zone of Genius is, I really have to pull the plug and give it a rest and come to terms with the fact that I just don't know. Though I had great insights and intuitions from my 1st ever psychedelic trip on LSD back on March 29th this year, I really need to put my focus into just closing up the last bit of the the End Phase before I can really go into a more soul searching process. If all turns out well this Summer I would like to spend as much time investing in my own soul-searching process, finally heal and regather and integrate my self, and explore new avenues of Bliss. I feel so destroyed internally that, even if I really found my next path in life I wouldn't be able to follow it because inside I feel like I'm a tube of toothpaste that's been so mauled and crumpled up for that last bit of toothpaste that I won't have enough for the net endeavor. The amount of internal willpower I have left is virtually empty and I need to recognize, honor, and respect that. This is why healing is going to be important and honor my inner muse. I completely disagree with people who telling me otherwise after this 4 month sales program is up that I should put in the hard work to improve socializing, my dating game, make more money, how I need to press even harder on the gas, etc. I'm willing to listen to feedback but I'm also willing listen to when I know what's right for me and when to tell people to stop giving me advice. I really need to hit the reset button once I wrap the End Phase up. I know what my heart needs while still needing to address practical & logistical matters. I believe this phase is going to consist of time backpacking, camping, traveling to different countries alone, going to some workshops & seminars, meditation & enlightenment retreats, meeting sages/saints/mystics face-face, reading, actually exploring new paths of interest (whatever it may be) and doing so full-heartedly, therapy, volunteering, a lot of journaling, going to new events, and contemplating. This episode really helped me reconcile the perfectly normal reality of this very phase and that this a phase worth honoring and really working through at whatever pace I need to take it at. Also because it helped really give myself the permission to acknowledge and be okay with accepting that the last cycle I'm now wrapping up was a failure with tons of valuable lessons that and that, all because it totally blew up in my face like a lab experiment gone totally wrong doesn't mean I can't be okay with it, make amends with it, and move on from it. I'm very eager to wrap the End Phase and finally get into the Limbo Phase. Lessons Learned: Following one's Bliss is so important. It took me up until this episode that that was actually how I even got into running in the first place! Look where that took me! I seriously need to heal Soul-searching cannot just be a mental process. I actually need to go out and explore. Travel to new cities, states, countries, forests, etc. I am extremely impressionable. This is a huge habit I'm going to need truly to shed in order to unearth a new authentic path and chapter in my life. Since I was less than 2 years old I've had this habit. From Michael Jordan, Steve Prefontaine, all the runners I've ever looked up to in some way, Sadhguru, Leo, other sages, etc. I always base my visions based on the lives of other people and unconsciously try to mimic them as much as possible. This comes from the deep seeded vow I made since I was probably even a toddler of like 3 or 4 years old that I really feel like I need to be different, special, and stand out amongst other and also the belief that I'm not good enough so I compare myself to others and cling onto them because I don't have enough self-esteem to really carve my path independent of anyone I may admire and look up to. Really being okay with just doing me and no one else. It's my path and my path alone and that that's just fine and how I'm going to be better off owning and living that. I quit and give up a lot. I need to focus on rebuilding integrity. I lie a lot and I'm going to really need to focus on making a daily commitment to fix that in order realign myself with my experience and integrity It's okay to really not know not just on a metaphysical level but when it comes to life issues to. Embrace not-knowing not just in direct contemplation but towards life situations in general and be will to let go into not-knowing and some real exploring. I have more in me I can turn this around I need to learn to really love myself I need to trust my drive for full enlightenment but I can't go fully into it when I'm this broken inside emotionally. Enlightenment is going anywhere. Again, I don't need to be Buddha, Jesus, Sadhguru, Leo, Ralston, etc. I need to be me and walk my path. I could probably jot more down but this is longer than I thought it would be and I'm a bit tired of writing... I think that's good for now. Signing off for now.

Starting off the new year with my longest meditation sit ever that I'm going to commit to every single day until I die - 1 Hour (Do-Nothing technique) Still have yet to define what it is I want out of my running and lay out a vision for myself. Really struggled with this confusion on my run today as I just felt so frustrated that I'm not clear on my vision yet. Also on this morning's training run I was just way too in my head as usual. The racing thoughts just never ceased. Had to stop multiple times in the 8 mile run. Just getting my first entry on here out there to get the ball rolling... More to come.

Nondual keyboard warriors at their finest thinking you fucking know me lol. Okay dude lol ?? Ive never claimed to be enlightened. I’ve been honest and also vulnerable about what I’m totally ignorant of, what I have grasped, what I do know, etc. my entire time on this forum. Your fake front of thinking you know people and this facade of wisdom is just you bullshitting yourself. You’re projecting a hot, steaming, nauseating pile of shit. Whether you know you’re doing it or not I don’t know but that is what you’re doing. Don’t pretend you fuckin know me lol. I don’t need some nondual key board jockey who hasn’t met me to confirm with me what I have become conscious of (not thatjt resides with me) and certain parts of my life.

What’s funny is that my huge stoner psychedelic friends from high school that went off the deep end using psychedelics just for recreation don’t want to see this legalized... go figure

What nootropics have those of you with legitimate ADHD found most helpful? I can’t afford neurofeedback nor can I go through the whole prescription process for modofinil. I got off 17 years of Adderall along with many other SSRIs, mood stabilizers, etc. in January of 2018 but really need a healthier yet still effective alternative to what I was on (which stopped working years ago anyways).

Don’t assume you know what I have and haven’t seen. Your facade of wisdom front is getting nauseating. This thread isn’t even directed towards enlightenment so take your little games elsewhere if you’re gonna play that with me.

I wouldn’t go that far but sure. Whatever floats their boat that gets them to do it

I get what you’re trying to put down and it’s a good perspective but the essence of what he’s saying is direct experience “in the real world”. Sadhguru is a good example of this because he’s so easy. Since he was a kid he was able to peoples karmic/Akashi bodies to the point where it was something he literally saw in his field of perception. He gives stories of how he’d know if his teacher in class was wearing red panties and would call it out to the class. Adyashanti at an early age talks about mystical experiences and how when he was a child he had a realization of “people believe their thoughts” and he knew that was different. Even Ralston as a kid grasped that time is a relative experience. You can read and even meet enlightened masters today who were literally born enlightened or have been in nondual awareness since the age of like 2 years old. The best answer I can really give you for what you’re descirbing is that you have to distinguish one’s openness to spirituality from strict talent. However I do agree there’s an inherent relationship between the two. I really suggest you and everyone else listen to this interview as it really gets the point across.

Lol you have much more to learn my friend. Much much more.

I never said I do this or don’t do this. Cold showers and deep breathing alone aren’t going to change your entire brain chemistry dude. You have to understand that it works in the beginning. When I say beginning I mean first few months and years. The problem with most studies and why I often tend to find them pretty irrelevant is because their time span for the study itself is so damn short. You’ll know if he has ADHD if you notice he’s a lot more centered and actually a lot calmer, centered, is listening and communicating better in conversation, etc. You get the general theme... If he’s wired to work like a fucking machine when he takes Adderall he probably doesn’t actually have it. After this summer when I earn some good money I would have no problem making a high investment towards this. It’s totally worth it to me. If neurofeedback works out well, after I move out, I would be happy to pay another $3k for an eeg machine I can hook up to keep it going like Leo does. You gotta he willing to make hefty invesetments and pay high costs not just in your inner growth but in your wallet too if you wish to fix aspects of your life. First off, I can’t say that it can or it can’t. I can see certainly how it can but I also see how it can’t. As far as how I see it can’t, it’s quite simple... there’s limits to which one can improve... and that’s not something most people are willing to admit. I don’t care what anyone is saying. You’re not going to take a crippled paralyzed Stephen Hawking and have him in that same body run a marathon. Just not going to happen. Lots of people can’t reach the deepest depths of enlightenment for this reason... much less l stabilize themselves in in that. I think it also can though because if you look at yoga as a system or holistic process you see a lot of practices starting from Hatha yoga with pranayamas, bandhas, asanas and a lot of deep stretching to get a lot of anxiety out of the body, free one from the stress and neuroses that are held in the body (I can’t tell you how deep that is), cleaning out one’s stomach and digestive system and improving circulatory system through different pranayamas, dauti, satkarmas, detoxing oneself of things like heavy metals and other potential toxicities, etc. And that’s just prep for the actual meditative aspect of yoga. Yoga is so deep largely because of how holistic it is. A big part of yoga is the prepping ones system and psyche (they’re related) for the actually meditative part.

You’re not getting an answer like that because you actually think it comes down to some cookie cutter program. Doesn’t work like that brotha. Doesn’t work like that at all. You have your issues, neuroses, etc. and Leo has his and we all have our own shit that’s going to make our journey all very different. This insistence on “no! I want you to tell it MY away the why I want it to be answered,” is the fundamental reason you’re asking this question in the first place. It’s because you think it’s some cut and dry sort shit rather than putting your ass accountable and figure it out for yourself because that’s how it’s done. Putting your skin in the game to figure your life out. You think it comes down to just some simple affirmations or visualization or popping a psychedelic or doing some meditation. No it comes down to what do you want out of life on the highest level and getting fucking clear with what that is for yourself and taking the journey yourself. This isn’t like some workout magazine where some credentialed and accomplished coach gives you some workout in an article and then you mindlessly plug it into you’re training. Doesn’t work even in that domain of life much less the holistic domain of life itself. If anything this is a ridiculous question because it’s been answered in all of the actaulized.org videos that have been shot thus far as far as a fundamental personal development process goes.

I don’t want to indulge projections into Leo because that’s essentially what this consists of but understand that spiritual growth and personal development leads to exactly this: a more flourishing and authentic personality. Look at Sadhguru, Ken Wilber, Osho, even Jesus, or Krishnamurti. These are/were very extrodinarily moving powerful personalities. The “technique” is simple: personal development and awaken. Theres no one specific tactic.

@ValiantSalvatore yeah I’ve seen that video. Regular meditation doesn’t really work for me. I’m probably going to go down the route of yoga starting from Hatha to Kriya and other stuff and really getting blood work done. I’m willing to create a holistic change in my system to really fix this. The problem with every medication I take now (I’m lumping nootropics with mefication to make this easy) is that I adapt to it so quick. I was taking armodafinil with l-theanine and that was the craziest thing ever on effectiveness and after the 2nd day everything pretty much stopped and I adapted to it. I can take 2 armodafinils and it’ll be crazy the first day or so and then the effects subside. Ive been on medication in general since 2001 and got off in 2018 so I’m a weird long term case of someone who metabolizes and adapts to this stuff very quick now. It becomes baseline. This is why I’m pretty much done looking at short-term stuff really and I’m looking more for root-level solutions like neurofeedback which I pray works long term as well as short term.

@pluto good god stop. Ease up on the projections and this false wise attitude. Yeah, there’s some positive aspects of ADHD. I’m not denying that nor have I ever. When you’re off medication though and you’re driving your car and you get into an accident because something caught your attention and get into some train of thought rather than paying attention to the road and now your car insurance rate goes up even more and now you owe thousands of dollars and you need to fix your car... and then that happens 2 more times in the same year... and you’re forgetting things all the time like you keep getting locked out of your house because you forgot your keys or your supposed to go mail checks but forgot the checks. Or you struggle keeping conversation without pissing people off because you talk so damn much that people grow tired of you and listening and really hearing another person is like an impossible task. Or you have unbearable anxiety and it makes meditation virtually impossibly. Or you have trouble building discipline in things that you don’t want to do like paying your bills on time, or sticking with your project or goal when you’re heads not in it. Or you struggle with media addiction even more than the average person since a person with ADHD’s brain is already low on dopamine production and it’s even harder to stop. Stop pretending you have it figured out or you know what it’s like and that this is just some issue with limiting beliefs. I couldn’t finish school largely because of this issue. When it comes to practical results, staying on track, paying attention, yeah ADHD can be a fucking nightmare and it feels like you’re fucked because routes of actual root level solutions like neurofeedback cost thousands of dollars. I’m not condoning victim thinking but if you think that this is some cake walk, man you’re living in your own bubble.