clytaemnestra

I stopped being needy when I've found some jobs that make me fulfilling my potentials. My work was recognized and I got the affection I needed in my life, so at that point I've realized that I don't need an affection by male population, it is enough only to work something you like and to be authentic and yourself and other things will come. That wasn't paid job, it was voluntarily, but it was enough for me since I've decided to deduce myself to achieve the goal of our organisation and I've worked hard for it. Before that, I was also needy since I've lost my father when I was 16 and my mother was an alcoholic so my exes were kinda fulfilling the hole I had in my life. Now, I don't have that hole anymore, as time passes, I am totally okay with being single. Moreover, I don't have a time and space for it at the moment, I should sacrifice some of my hobbies or education and I don't want to because it makes me happy.

I get it, maybe it'd be a good idea to go to eat an ice cream, beer or some cold drinks in some cafe or some place that has air conditioning. Or maybe swimming pool. Or you can call her at night, call her for a walk near river or park or some place that is not crowded, I doubt that it is sooo hot that nobody walks at night. Or early in the morning, you can find some place with a nice view and call her to watch together dusk. If all of this options are not available, then I'd rather go out with her and then after some time tell her that it is too hot outside and invite her at your place, than inviting her at the beginning. The thing is, she can misinterpret your invitation and think that you just want sex, if you live in a conservative society, or maybe she wants it, but she is playing hard to get and wants you to engage a bit more about her.

I agree with everything previously said, I would just add if she wants just sex, she'd probably tell you it straight forward, or she'd chat with you about sex and invite you to do it and finish with you till the next time she calls you for it. Since you've said you're chatting with her very often, I assume that she likes you for more than sex and I advice you to make some fun. You have great video on 9GAG how to make you date an adventure, or something like that with a list of social activities that can be funny for her.

If I'd have been that girl, I would ignore you, because you seem to be a bit boring with an idea of her coming to your place. If you want a sex, then ask her straight forward. If not, then ask her to go and grab a coffee or something like that, because maybe she wants a date, but doesn't want to come to your house. If you ask her again maybe it'd be a too pushy, better ask her for a real date and then during a date you can invite her to your place if you think she's interested. And never made compromises about your leisure time. If it is a fasting day, than fast. Except, if she needs you urgently or something happens, but don't change your life's routine because of girls.

Exactly. Your appearance is your entrance ticket, if we find man attractive, we'll talk with him, vice versa. And then after a talk we decide if we're going to meet him again or not. Sometimes we make compromises about looks, but about personality never. And be aware that men to get attracted for a girl need few seconds, we women need a lot of time because it is based on personality and we are sometimes unsure how to judge someone.

I haven't read all, people told you everything you should know about emotions and how it can be linked, I just want to advise on you to control your nutrition. Leo has one video about supplements and how they can increase your libido, so try maybe with a nutrition (I have heard about Maca powder, but I don't know) and google about natural aphrodisiacs (like bananas, chocolate..). If I'm off the topic, sorry then. But I just wanted to say if you are OK mentally, but not physically, then try with a nutrition.

I need to agree on this one. Well, I would say it all depends on the culture, you can't state this for developing countries where women are not still equal to men and in my opinion US because as I've heard based on my friends' experiences and my research on internet, women are treated more as a sexual objects and nudity is closely linked to sexuality, comparing to Western European countries. But definitely, for some countries, I would say women are a way much more penetrating the world than men and they're much more powerful, in my opinion. Majority of men in those countries are afraid of women, it is a result of feminism. That's just my opinion and experience, I was in countries like Germany or France and women are much more dominating the society, at least I had that feeling, maybe I'm wrong.

That is my question also. I'm 21 and attracted to men who are 30-35. I've dated some of them and it worked because they weren't so much physically attractive as I am, and they were successful professionals what I'm not since I'm student so it was a compensation and there was a mutual attraction. But once I've dated a guy who is out of my league, apart from all of the things above like career, social status, money, intellect, and so on, he is super hot and very attractive. We had only sex and he has a girlfriend who with he lives, and I knew it and I couldn't resist him since he is super handsome. He told me that he likes me and promised to call me sometimes to sleep again together, but I kinda feel that we can't be only fuck buddies because after that night I was thinking about him for the next ten days. When he calls me again, I'm not sure what to do, I don't want to be his lover, I just want his attention and want him to fall for me like I fell for him, I don't know should I reply to him at all... Actually I'm aware I should stop everything since he's not at the same level as me, but at the same time I feel like he's the best something I can have since he is a way out of my league so I should try something.

I as a woman would agree on threesome if my partner wants it and if our sex life becomes boring. Why not, it is just a sex and it can be funny.

and after all of that

I second this. People don't like hearing things that they're not used to hear, especially if you throw it straight forward in their face without any warning. It's a shock for them because it is unexpected and the truth always hurts. You're not at the same level with all of them, and I suppose that they don't think that you're trying to establish better relationships, but that you suddenly become crazy. I hope that you've explained them why are you doing it so they don't misinterpret it. I also wanted to say that it depends on culture, but since you're German it's not applicable to you. In my experience, German folks much more accept the truth and expect the honesty, comparing to Slavic or Anglo-Saxon people. I've noticed that in De there is no fake culture, but tendency to be sincere with people you care for, so I can't imagine what you've said them so they're scared. Now I'm generalizing too much maybe, but the culture and social norms are important factors also. However, sometimes it is just better to be more silent and strategic. If they wanted the truth, they'd ask you for it.

I agree, it's all said here. But if you want to seduce them just for sex, then learn how to seduce. You can't play The Nice Guy role whole your life and expect that women will be crazy in love with you. But be aware that everything you find about seduction is actually manipulation, I'm not sure if you want to become a manipulator. I personally avoid them, if a guy is honest with me, I tell him straight forward that we can be only friends with benefits and nothing more and we're both OK with it. But if a guy tries to manipulate me, then never sleep with him and make sure that he realizes that he's found a wrong person to play stupid games with because I know whole their game.

That's the best idea. The thing is, you can try it, but the truth is that people change. You'll change. Why would you suffer in Mongolia, if you can find a new bf there and enjoy with him? I know how it sounds to you at the moment, but the time you spent with him is relatively small amount of time comparing to your whole life so you can think about marriage. If you love him so much and you're ready to commit yourself, then find a way to stay with him. But if you decide it, make sure you won't change your mind sometimes or blame him for missing an opportunity.

I agree, I as a woman would like to try it also, but mfm. It has nothing to do with love, it's just sex.

I'm kinda the same. I live in a small country in Europe (Bosnia) and I just hate the people here. I don't like the mentality and I don't think I'll find a boyfriend here ever. Me as a feminist have faced a lot of sexism and I simply feel disguised talking with boys here. I like Western liberal mindset and that's something I wont find here. I was in Germany for example, and all the guys I've met I enjoyed talking with them, unlike Southerns they're more open-minded, but also shy, restrained and a bit afraid of women, that's something I find very cute. I also like traveling, being in foreign cultures and learning new languages, therefore I adore foreigners. They're different, they have interesting stories about their culture, they sound so cute speaking in their native language comparing to me speaking the same language and I just feel attracted to them. I've talked with my girlfriends about this problem and they think I'm weird and they don't see any problem in this society. I work very hard to move out of here, so I don't have time for a relationship right now, so I don't worry about it too much.

All of it goes naturally if you click with someone. You really don't think too much, it just happens, you feel like you have a need to kiss him, to call him back, to hug him, to have a sex... I'm not sure if I understood your question, so my answer may not be useful. If a problem is how to get a boyfriend, that's another thing. Learn how to flirt with guys, watch videos about it or ask some of yours guy friends. They like to talk about it, don't feel shy. I got better advises about dating & sex from guy friends, than from girl friends. It is normal to talk about it out loud. When you spot someone you like, flirt with him, watch him, smile and then wait to be approached or approach him. Then start a normal conversation, but without any obligations, just go with the flow, keep it cool and natural. If you don't have opportunities, like me, because I don't have time to go out too much because of work, then create a profile on a dating site, that way I met many guys. And just be surrounded by people, that's the best way to get some social skills. If you lack them in general, then I would say, try to volunteer in some organisation, make some hobbies that involve working with a lot of people. I as an introvert had those difficulties, but I played in orchestra for years and gathered some useful skills. But it is all experience, you learn all of those things as time goes, it is just important to think about it so you don't make same mistakes twice.

I would say, beauty no, but attractiveness yes. Because I know many people that are beautiful, but they're not attractive to me because they're not my type and so on. I think every woman should be aware that men are visual and sexual beings and take care about her looks and health, like men should be more emotional and supportive because it is what women want. It's a consensus, maybe you don't want to spend a night listening to her crying over some stupid thing, but it is what you're supposed to do. I'm not now stereotyping women, but I want to say that all of us have sometimes some emotional moments we can't explain. In my opinion, beauty isn't so much important how much it is caring about your appearance, if a woman comes to you in a sexy, black laundry with heels and stockings and make-up and nice hair, I think you wouldn't notice that she has ugly teeth, nose or small eyes and so on. Especially if she is good in a bed, and open to new sexual experiences. Whatever you decide to do further, just be aware how many women at this world exist. Sometimes we stuck in a long relationships not being aware how many possibilities to be happy we have actually, only if we break a circle. It is easier to convince ourselves that the person standing next to us is perfect (The Halo Effect) or that she/he will change how we want it, but we all know that's not the case. I mean, you can change some little things, but in general, I would say, you or accept or find the person you're more compatible with. Of course, you can work on your relationship, but if she is not caring about her looks the way you want it (including seduction) and you told her so and she didn't do anything about it, you have two options, I already mentioned. The Grey Phase is the hardest, because it is the phase when you get to know essence of the person, not the way how you present her/him to yourself or how she/he presents herself/himself to you and the world. But at the same time, it is the most useful phase, because it is a real matching, in that phase you get to know if it is the right person for you or not. Now, I'm a bit off the topic, because it wasn't the initial question, but I really felt a need to write this. We can't help you what to do next, you have to decide, but I would advice on you to ask yourself: Is this the person I am ready to spend my life with? Answer yourself honestly and you have the answer what to do next.

For us women, looks are not so much important. I know many pretty and hot guys, but I don't like none of them because of theirs character, intelligence, education and so on. About looks, the first important thing is hygiene. Be always clean, always wear a perfume (that's something what women adore!), take care of your teeth and weight because it is a matter of health, not just looks. And pay attention on your clothes, in my opinion most of the women (or it is just me haha ) like men who are into office style, because they look smart, like leaders and so on. Suma sumarum, don't wear clothes like a basketball player if you are 25 already, like One Three Hill guys. In high school it is sexy, but later no. Apart from that, humor and self-confidence are really the most important. Show her that you're out of her league, although she is much hotter that you! Tease her and play with her, don't let her see that she is out of your league and she can have you whenever she wants, show some criteria and she'll feel special about you picking her, instead of other girls.

You' re not crazy, I'm the same.

Leave him! My partner likes to be aggressive during the sex, dominant and rough, but he told me that he would never agree to have that kind of sex with a girl who doesn't like it, because it is a turn off for him if a girl doesn't enjoy it. I also enjoy it so it's a good match, but he also had a girlfriend who liked it more gentle, and he never made her doing that kind of stuff.

Hello. I'm 20, female and I was in a relationship for 2 years. Three months after we broke-up, I started regularly dating few guys only sexually. I enjoy sex and I have a feeling that I've missed something being only with one guy for 2 years in a dysfunctional relationship. By the way, sex was awful, but he was my first so I wasn't actually aware of it. I was happy when we broke-up because I stopped loving him even before we broke-up. I really needed a freedom and more time, and now since I'm single I feel better than ever. Recently, I noticed that 99% of us (my current sexual partners) had a long relationship that ended 2-3 months ago. Is this some phenomena connected to our inner mind state, in the context of using sex to cover scares that are left after a long relationship? Or it is just that we felt boring being with one partner for a long time so we need a lot of them now to make a balance and all of this without any psychological and emotional explanation in the background? All of us, including me, claim that we couldn't be in a relationship now and we want to have more partners so we can have more sexual experience and meet more people (btw 'more' doesn't mean sleeping with everyone, but sleeping with a guys who are falling under my criteria). Is there anything behind of this that I'm not aware of it? Did it happen to you, is it just a phase that lasts few months, let's say, or I will be this much 'horny' till the next time I fell in love?

OK, thank you all. I was a bit worried at first, I thought that it just happens to me.

Haha yes, that's why I wrote more detailed explination. If there is anyone from Sarajevo, feel free to contact me. Or two of you if you happen to be sometimes in Sa, we can go for a drink, we definitely have things to talk about. I can't now tag the first one, but I hope that she/he will find. I wont spam anymore.

Same here. Love or money. The question is now.

I'm the same. I sit quietly in the corner, but actually my head is full of thoughts. I don't think that thinking is bad. Overthinking is bad, and the only way you can fight against it is to be aware that you are overthinking and to give yourself a time. Don't make a decisions nor statements over night. Give yourself few days and then sit and see things from the other corner. It helps me.