Seeker_of_truth

1. What does he mean by "will" ? 2. What does bondage to the soul mean?? I think I've read a lot in Hindu philosophy that Karma causes bondage. What does it mean? Isn't karma like cause and effect? Why is that causing bondage? 3. He first says something like do not do any work for your own enjoyment. Then a few chapters later he says in Karma Yoga we break bondages by knowing things, enjoying things and thus obtaining experience. Isn't this contradictory? Can someone explain it? In another place he says the below quoted words. 4. What is your opinion on Karma Yoga?

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ Work on the chess engine ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise Today I'm feeling not so-well. For a few days all that I've been doing is coding and coding the chess engine. Almost all my waking hours was consumed by that. Now that I feel I'm done with the chess engine, I don't want to go back to my normal life where I do stuff that's mentally hard, emotionally hard, something I don't care for too much. I just finished my first meditation for the day (at this time of the day (evening) according to my plan I'm supposed to meditate for the second time actually) and I feel so uneasy in my body. So many places in my body, I feel like some energy is shaking inside a bubble ready to explode. There is an online programming workshop that needs to be conducted soon by a club I'm a part of. Initially I didn't want to be the one who is doing the teaching. Today I just seriously entertained the thought of doing it. I've not informed my club members about it. No one has come forward to take that role yet, and if I don't someone will, so that's not an issue. But thinking about taking a 4 hour long workshop just made me anxious. The only workshop I've taken was where I spoke for about 30 mins. This will be something where I'll be the only person who'll ever speak. That made me anxious and I think that's why I feel so fidgety in my body. And really I've been in quarantine for 3 weeks and I've never taken time seriously for my spiritual development. I do meditation almost everyday but its just for about 15 minutes (30 if I do it twice) and its not really of a great quality. And I'm not the kind of person who is productive every second of the day. And I think that's probably my ego trying to retain homeostasis. The kind of person I am (the self-image I'm attached to) is one who indulges in self-actualization activities like watching a self-help video, meditating, reading self-development books etc. And I've defied that for nearly 3 weeks (actually more but intermittently). I really crave that now. I don't know if I should give in to it.... I mean what I'm doing right now is also self-improvement, the only thing is that this is fucking hard and doesn't feel good at all. My mind is not at peace. Given the fucked up state of my mind, I'm going to take a break of one day where I indulge in my old definition of self-development activities and try to fix myself. I don't want to go too hard and experience an ego backlash or something worse. So from now till tomorrow, I'm not gonna do anything that is not related to meditating. I'm going to do a mini solo meditation retreat kind of stuff. Let's see how this goes... Yes, I plan long term first then break it up to what I should do for the day. So if I complete A, B, C and D today that means I'm on the right path. This idea is borrowed from a guy I follow named John Sonmez. He is an ex-software developer. All this productivity stuff I'm doing right now, most of the ideas are borrowed from him. So if you are impressed by this, you'd find his stuff interesting too... Yes it'd help if some of you guys check in and follow my progress, that's the reason I started this journal. I was doing the same thing without a journal but I started it because I believe this will let me journal regularly which helps me to think properly and not let me not make decisions based on just trying to feeling good. By the way, I'm not a professional programmer yet . Anyway, good to see a programming enthusiast here I do Isha Kriya. I've tried various meditations and I got some results only when I did Isha Kriya (Maybe because this was the only meditation method that I did continuously 2x a day without a break for about a month). Over the years I found that whenever I stopped doing Isha Kriya, I get some sickness that doesn't go away easily. I'm not very immune and I easily catch cold and stuff. But I find that whenever I'm continuously doing Isha Kriya, I don't get very sick, even if do get sick, it resolves soon. That's the only reason I make myself do it everyday. Probably as Leo says, this is just my higher self making me go on this path lol, I dunno. I would definitely do zen meditation methods, just that I don't think pursuing enlightenment is the most important thing right now even though I'd love to (Enlightenment is the long-long-term goal, this stuff I'm doing right now is one step to take to enable me to reach it). So I'm sticking to a meditation that works for now and doesn't take a lot of time from my day.

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ Optimize the chess engine ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise Posting this got delayed today as I finally finished a decent version of the chess engine and was trying to deploy it, make some changes, etc. I'm satisfied with it and from tomorrow I can do some other work without any regret.

Today also I'll be optimizing the chess engine, because I couldn't get much done yesterday (Most of the time went in configuring the development environment). Yesterday's Checklist ✅ Try to optimize the chess engine ✅ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise

I need to reevaluate on what tasks that I spend each day. Rather than doing a little bit of everything, I think I should try to give all my attention to one kind of task per day. And I seriously need to meditate more and be more mindful, I'm not satisfied with my current meditation as I get easily distracted by thoughts and my attention gets sucked into it. Today I'll be spending my time on optimizing the chess engine (Thought I have other things to do, I can't stop thinking about this, I'd rather get done with it). I also need to exercise a bit and I've already meditated once today now, again in the evening I'll meditate once more. If I get some free time in between, I'll be meditating then too. Yesterday's checklist ✅ Try to optimize the chess engine ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise

✅ Exercise ✅ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ✅ Transport Level Security ✅ 3 coding questions

30/03/20 ✅ Exercise ✅ Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ✅ 3 coding questions - Started to study transport level security but didn't finish it. I stopped watching TV but substituted it with youtube, though I the time I spend in youtube is less compared to the time I spend watching TV, still I watch some stuff that's junk and I need to stop that. I've been indulging much in activity and very less in being/stillness which is probably why I'm seeking relaxation through youtube/tv which is counterproductive as it fills my mind with junk causing it to produce junk. So from today (31st March) I'm planning to meditate twice a day and practice mindfulness in the meantime.

? Thanks for the suggestions.

29/03/20 ✅ Exercise ✅ Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ✅ Python unit 2 ✅ Studied Software Engineering for 2 pomodoros ✅ 3 coding questions Overall Week's Review: ✅ 12/15 coding questions solved ✅ Study cryptographic hashing functions ✅ Study AI FOL ✅ Finish Python unit 2 ✅ Study Software Engineering for 2 pomodoros ❌ Finish python unit 3 ✅ Solve 1 hard question ❌ Study Software Engineering for 8 pomodoros ❌ Study Compiler engineering - Data flow analysis Bonus: ✅ Started development of a Chess Engine I think it went quite well. Was still a bit lazy but I think its not a bad start. This Week's Goals: 21 Coding questions Transport Level Security Message Authentication Codes Digital Signatures Python Class & Advanced Class topics Python Exception Handling Django Basics UI Design Optimize the chess engine

28/03/2020 Yesterday was a disaster. ✅ Studied FOL topic in AI ❌ 3 coding questions ❌ No fap ❌ Meditation ❌ Behind schedule on topics to study ❌ Exercise It's okay, not the first time I failed to follow my goals so miserably. Today is the last day of the week. I want to finish it strong. Let me start the day with some exercise and meditation. I used to have a habit wherein I meditated the first thing after bathing. After coming to home for the quarantine, much of my normal everyday routine has been gone. So I've to start again and form some good habits. Wake up -> Plan the day -> Exercise -> Bath -> Meditate -> Breakfast/Brunch. It has always been an emotionally difficult task to solve 3 coding questions (because I'm not very good at it), to get myself to meditate when I don't have a meditation habit and the most difficult is to study shit for college. I think I need to change my perspective towards it and remind myself of it regularly. Solving 3 coding questions is sharpening the saw. And I have the opportunity now to do it, and whether to do it or not is a choice that I have in this moment. To study is to gain knowledge about various fields. Its an opportunity that I have right now and whether to do it or not is a choice that I can make in this moment. To meditate is like applying a lubricant. Among this chaos, it is a great privilege that I have the opportunity to do it. But to do it or not is a choice that I have in this moment. To fap or not is again a choice that I have in this moment. The urge to fap is an indication that either my sexual needs need to be satisfied or that I'm not happy with something in my life and I'm seeking an escape through the short-term high of fapping. To do what from that knowledge, is a choice that I have in this moment. Today I want to finish studying what I planned to which I'm currently behind schedule for completing - python unit 2 and software engineering for 2 pomodoros. After that I have 9 coding questions to solve (including yesterday and day before yesterday's planned work) and I'll keep solving it till I either solve all 9 or I'm mentally exhausted and can't solve anymore. Solving 3 was hard work, this will be a test for my emotional resilience.

27/03/20, Friday Okay yesterday went great and at the same time not so great. I thought building the AI chess engine that I wanted to build for a long time would be exciting. The problem was I got so excited by it that I didn't do anything by my plan. I was coding the chess engine from morning to night, got the basic functionality right but its slow as hell and I've been trying to optimize it for hours. I guess yesterday was the first day in my quarantine that I actually enjoyed. Projects like these are what have kept me going I guess. When I'm out of touch with the feeling of working on exciting projects like these, coding just becomes dreary and monotonous and makes me wonder why the fuck am I still doing it. ✅ Meditation ✅ Coding project ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise ❌ 3 coding questions ❌ Behind schedule on finishing topics to study The plan for today (28th) is that I'll allow myself to work on the chess engine only after I've finished studying the topics I've earlier planned to. Doing something exciting was not a bad choice at all, I feel really good now.

26/03/20, Thursday ✅ Meditation (Couldn't concentrate well, too much thoughts, I think I need to stop watching too much TV) ✅ Mild exercise ✅ No porn ✅ 3 coding questions ✅ Studied cryptographic hashing functions ❌ Behind schedule on finishing to study topics in AI, Python and Software Engineering Realized that my life has become kinda life-less after quarantine. There had been nothing really exciting that I had been doing. So I decided today (27th) I'll do something exciting.

25/03/20 Wednesday I was very tired the whole day due to lack of proper sleep. ✅ Meditation ✅ 3 Coding Questions Easy ones to just get done with it. Didn't have the mental energy to solve some difficult ones. ✅ Exercise Not much exercise, but still I'd count it. From today (26/03) I'm planning to replace the high intensity interval training that I normally do with some lighter forms of exercise like qigong, as I heard that HIIT causes inflammation in the body which is not desirable given the current coronavirus situation. ✅ No porn/masturbation Felt like a lucrative escape from boredom which I why I've been indulging a lot in it for the past days, this day decided that I don't care if I'm bored I'll not watch porn. ❌ Study cryptographic Hashing Functions I planned to do this but was too tired mentally and the 25 minutes I forced myself to do it was hell. Today (26th March, Thursday), I got a pretty good sleep, so I think today I can get some work done..

24/03/20, Tuesday ✅ Meditation (After not doing it for almost a week, today I was excited to do it, thanks to this journal) ✅ 3 Coding Questions (Took longer than expected to completed it) ❌ No porn/masturbation ❌ Workout/Exercise

3-Month Wide Big-Picture - Aspirations & Goals I've about 3 months to prepare myself for my job interviews (Assuming that covid19 or anything isn't going to affect it). So at the end of the 3 months my aspiration is to get a good job. For that I need to become comfortable solving medium level coding questions and have some good projects deployed live [ I'm a computer science engineering student ]. Given that aspiration here are my goals for the 3 month long period of April, May, June: Normal Goals: Solve 180 coding questions Finish the remote code execution API that I've started and hook it up with a decent front end interface Do decently well in the coming semester examination Google goals: Do 1 good visual coding project (Maybe an AI Chess Engine) Solve 50 hard coding questions (Become a pro ?) Given these goals are starting from April, I'm going to cheat a bit and start now (i.e. 1 week before) So here are my goals for the current week (i.e. 24th March, Tuesday - 29th March, Sunday) Normal Goals: • 15 coding questions • Study cryptographic hashing functions • Study AI FOL • Finish Python unit 2 • Study Software Engineering for 2 pomodoros Google Goals: • Finish python unit 3 • Solve 1 hard question • Study Software Engineering for 8 pomodoros • Study Compiler engineering - Data flow analysis If you are wondering what Google Goals means, I've listened in some Mindvalley seminar that in Google, they set their goals in such a way that 50% of the goals have a 50% chance of failure. So all the things I've listed down in google goals are extra stuff that I won't mind if I failed in them. To be honest, I think I'm going easy on myself this week. But given how lazy I've been for the past week, I think its safe to assume that I've a 50% chance of failure to accomplish the tasks I've listed in the google goals. I guess that's it for today, I'll get going and start the work now And again, any comments are much appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Is life purpose that Leo talks about is about doing what you love or doing what you find meaningful and worthy do be done ? I've always thought life purpose as finding my passion, but I just had this thought today that problems and Lows come everywhere. In that case, at that time, I won't be enjoying my work. But if my life purpose is about doing something that I feel is worth doing, then I will have an inner drive to do and punch that problem in its face. But again, what if I consistently don't like what I'm doing but it is meaningful to me..... So I'm confused here, what is this life purpose ? Meaning or Passion ? Or both ??? Or neither !!!

Thank you for your replies @St Clair@YaNanNallari. I was waiting to see if I could get some more points of view, I guess I ain't getting any. Thank you.

So the primary question that I should ask myself is what is the most meaningful impact I can have. Once I find out that, finding how I accomplish it will be relatively easy. Right ?

I'm 17 and I'm currently at college studying Computer Science and Engineering. My ultimate goal in life is to live a worthy life that I can clearly know I didn't waste (And what I think that means is I need to get enlightened as I don't know anything more worthy than understanding what life is) So I've been thinking about what kind of career I should choose so that I can do personal development and achieve my goal... I thought it would be okay to have a 9 to 5 job while doing personal development in free time. But now I think that might not be very efficient (or can it be ?) So should I aim to amass a lot of money quickly and then retire quickly so that I can do personal development for the rest of my life or is there a kind of job that can facilitate me to do personal development simultaneously ? I've heard Leo say that we should not work under a boss rather we should be self-employed, but still even if I'm self-employed how will that change things ??? So which is the best course of action ?

Its highly worth a read.

@Nahm That sounds cool.

What ? I'm asking this because I don't have knowledge about how my life will be in a 9-5 job or if I am self-employed... I'm not aware of how much work I would have to do if I wanted to become rich quick and the retire quick. Since I have no knowledge about these things, I'm asking you guys. How can I use intuition here when I know nothing about these things.

I've asked these questions to myself and I this is the answer I got from myself. First I didn't know why I was born and how I was born. I don't know what will happen if I die. Now I'm not even sure of who the fuck I am because I don't think I'm the body or the mind because mind is because of brain which is a part of the body which is there because 2 cells from my parents multiplied and formed this. Now where is 'me' here ? The 'I' seems to have suddenly realized that this body is its. But where is 'I' and what the fuck is 'I' , i have no idea. And you are assuming that there would be nothing after death. How do you know that there is nothing after death ??? I wish to find what is there after death while I'm alive. If I don't find, well I at least tried. I don't think there is anything else worth doing other than trying to know. If I find then great. If I find that there is nothing after death, then great. Given that it seems some people have indeed known, it may not be impossible... That's why I'm trying to know.

@Deep There is also a branch called kriya yoga which includes all those postures and Im pretty sure it also comes under spiritual yoga. http://isha.sadhguru.org/blog/yoga-meditation/demystifying-yoga/kriya-yoga/ One technique in jnana yoga is the neti-neti technique - The self-enquiry. And yeah, it seems we have to mix and match everything. According to sadhguru every person needs a certain amount of every kind of it. @YaNanNallari You should go through sadhguru's website. They offer isha kriya meditation and chit shakti meditation freely downloadable. I saw a youtube video of upa yoga too which is a yoga that is only for physiological benefits. For understanding what is yoga I think you should watch sadhguru's videos or read his blog. I knew all that I know about yoga from there only.

FUCK !!!! 2hrs of rigorous concentration and meditation and still it doesn't suffice !!! If you are able to maintain perfect concentration for 2 hours how can it be not enough to know the self ? Wtf is needed other than concentration ? Time ???