Seeker_of_truth

I've not posting for a long time because I was confused and I was going with the flow. I didn't feel like setting goals and working towards it, I just did things when I wanted to. Now that I'm bit more clear on what I want, I can go back to the productive mode. So I've decided to focus on 2 things from now - Coding and Studying. What I'll be doing is focusing on them alternatively for the whole day. Every 3rd day, I'll be spending a bit more time on meditation. Today is coding day and I've coded for 2.75 hrs. ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise

Hmm...

Since you people claim to have a better perspective of life I'd like you to know your perspective on this: Do you think that time spent doing what you like is better than time spent doing what you don't like. There is a difference between doing something (physically/mentally/emotionally) hard but something you want to do Vs doing something that you don't want to do either because you are forced or because you think you have to do it to get something in the future. For me, if I assume today is the last day of my life, I'd still like to meditate or workout even when my muscles are sore just because I like it and I want to do it. However I would not do something that for example work on my skills for a career I'm not particularly excited about. But if I'm not going to die today, it might be more beneficial for me to do something like working on my skills for my career. For me with the little experience I have the answer seems to be to avoid as much as possible to not do things that I don't want to - because whenever I do something I don't want to in that moment I don't feel alive - I just feel like a slave hoping on some future experience that would compensate for that hard work. I'd rather be poor and feel alive than to be dead to become rich. But I'd like to know your perspective. Or would you tell that what one desires doesn't matter or something like that? From my POV there is not point in living if I can't fulfill my desires. Thank you.

If you just want google to say if a research paper is in favor or against the search term, I don't think that's a lot of work.

@nexusoflife Thank you for taking your time to answer You are right, I did realize that there were some fear-based beliefs that caused me to not follow my heart.

Yesterday: 1x Meditation I don't remember for how much hours I've been coding yesterday, definitely exceed 10 pomodoros.

4 days its been, huh.... I just lost the motivation to work on my goals. Ever since I read Mark Manson's book I had a lot of questions bugging me. I need to re-read my notes and really understand it better. In the book, Mark talks what freedom is - to choose your pain. I realized that there is a difference between working hard for something you want and something you don't want. Both are hard work but in one you are willing to go through the pain and in the other not. It hit me at that point. People I've been following - they recommend hard work but is it to work hard on something you want or it doesn't matter what you want, what matters is to learn to work irrespective of whether you like it or not. So I asked the question here: I don't know if I worded it properly for others to understand... But this is what I've been thinking about for these days. More than thinking, I've been trying to feel what is it that I should do. I just watched Leo's new episode now. And it made me feel that what I should do when I do the work I hate is I should love it. This might most probably be just a stupid interpretation of what Leo actually meant. Heck I might not even know what the Love he means is. I don't know but it feels like that this is what I should do. I know positive feelings happen when someone approves of your line of thought so they mean nothing. But I see no harm in trying this out. I'm making up so much justification because I'm a rational person and I know if another rational person is going to read this, they'll think how stupid I am because even a part of me thinks I am stupid to think that I'm going to get some profound answer by watching some dude talking on youtube about some experience I don't even know is true. I'm feel like I'm just sounding more idiotic line by line. But I'm going to let it be there to let you know how idiotic the person is, whose journal you are reading right now. I don't even know why I put gautama buddha as my profile picture, it should be a donkey. Okay, enough of self-degradation, I know I'm an idiot and I made sure the reader knows it too now, just in case they had any doubt. Moving on.... Last Week's Goals: ❌Message Authentication Codes ✅ Successfully take workshop on JavaScript ❌Finish frontend and backend of remote code execution API ❌Finish an online course ❌Learn one new competitive programming concept Time to get back on the productivity track. With the new technique up my sleeve, I feel empowered to take on this week.

When I meant awake, I just meant more awake than normal people (like me), which you seem to have from the experience you just detailed. So, yes I'd very much like your perspective!

Can you think of this place as beautiful and yet think you could make it a better place? If you think its really beautiful, would there be a desire to make it better?

@Nahm @Jacobsrw @VeganAwake ?

? But all those categories subjectively do exist don't they? I can pretend to like and wholeheartedly do something I don't like but it still doesn't feel the same like when I do something I like.... Any pointers on how you'd like what you don't like would be appreciated. @RedLine Thank you for answering... I need to think about that.

I'm not very clear about what you are saying here.... Anyway to clarify something, is what you mean by the opposite of everything you said is that "people are more or less awake"? I'll surely try it. Thank you. I wish I know what you mean by being. But as you said I'll try to see the big picture of all my wanting. Yeah I can accept that I don't know that anyone else is thinking, but I don't understand why you are mentioning it.... Can you please explain....

I guess that'd work.... So its a balance then... Thank you for your answer. ? Thank you

I've been having a problem with the education system since I got admitted to a school that didn't value actual learning (I knew what learning was only because the previous school I studied in valued learning above grades or other stupid shit but my classmates probably didn't know that - they probably didn't know what actual learning was - otherwise I have no idea how they were able to tolerate it). I found it hard to motivate myself to study in such an environment. I got interested in psychology. Seeing videos related to these, YouTube's brilliant algorithm recommended me Sandeep Maheshwari's Last Life Changing Seminar. I was blown away by how he thinks. I love a different perspective on things. It was then I started watching more videos on self-development and thus my journey began.

@nexusoflife I would be very glad to get your perspective on this question below....

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 1x Meditation (Good Quality) ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise ✅ Successfully take workshop on JavaScript (6 pomodoros) Total Pomodoros: 6/10

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise Test live streaming for workshop - 6 pomodoros Remote Code Execution API - 2 pomodoros Total: 8/10 pomodoros

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise Prepare and Test live streaming for workshop - 7 pomodoros Remote Code Execution API - 2 pomodoros Total: 9/10 pomodoros

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ✅ Exercise Study Message Authentication Code - 3 pomodoros Plan and Prepare for workshop - 4 pomodoros Total: 7/10 pomodoros

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 2x Meditation ❌ No porn/masturbation ✅ Exercise ✅ Started studying message authentication codes Week's Checklist ❌ Message Authentication Codes ❌ Digital Signatures ✅ Python Advanced Class topics ✅ Python Exception Handling ❌ Django Basics ❌ UI Design This week's plan: I'm going to measure the time I spend easy day in addition to what I accomplish that day. My goal is to work for 10 pomodoros every day. Goals: Message Authentication Codes Successfully take workshop on JavaScript Finish frontend and backend of remote code execution API Finish an online course Learn one new competitive programming concept

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 2x Meditation ❌ No porn/masturbation ✅ Exercise ✅ Python Exception Handling

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ❌ No porn/masturbation ❌ Exercise ✅ Python advanced class topics

Yesterday's Checklist ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ✅ Exercise Okay I've been lazy yesterday, time to get back on track. Today I'm planning to finish studying python advanced class topics. I still haven't finished compiling the notes of Mark Manson's book, so that's left too.

Yesterday's Checklist I started reading Mark Manson's Everything is fucked A book about hope long ago and I found the information in it very relevant to my current situation. So I thought reading that book completely and using that knowledge would help me. So I spent the whole day to finish that book. Now what is remaining is to skim, take notes and compare it with notes from other similar books and understand something. ✅ 1x Meditation ❌ 2x Meditation ✅ No porn/masturbation ✅ Exercise

I'm back after taking a break of two days. This week I'm planning to direct my focus more on studying than coding. I think I also need to change many of my long term goals. Last Week's Checklist I spent a most of the time on optimizing the chess engine that I had no time for the rest of stuff. ❌ 9/21 Coding questions ✅ Transport Level Security ❌ Message Authentication Codes ❌ Digital Signatures ✅ Python Class ❌ Python Advanced Class topics ❌ Python Exception Handling ❌ Django Basics ❌ UI Design ✅ Optimize the chess engine This Week's Goals: Message Authentication Codes Digital Signatures Python Advanced Class topics Python Exception Handling Django Basics UI Design