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@Serge I think your just becoming more aware of your own ego's need for validation. Perhaps you are just being more honest with yourself than you ever have been and it has disturbed you ideal self. A narcissist is more likely to believe they are important and expect admiration or due attention above all else/persons. They don't see themselves with a problem, and because of this they do not seek help. If anything, I think you are becoming more aware of self, and this is important for self-improvement.

@Alex Busch When I was at uni a fellow student and myself were asked by other students to give them a hand in their studies. So we arranged to meet one night. We tried to help the others to understand the subject matter, but with little improvement. Then my friend and I decided to do the opposite. We got the other students to read what they need to know and then each student had to teach us by using their own words (not re-reading from the book). This forced them to think about what they read and reapply it by using different words. After the uni exams, these students went from Pass to High Credits and Distinctions. Teaching the subject will improve your own understand of what it is you are learning.

@Ariel I always take notes, not so much for re-reading them again, but simply because it takes time to write my notes. While I am writing them I am pondering on what it is I find important, The time spent doing this helps to imprint this into my mind. Also, after a long while, it maybe beneficial to replay the video. Have you ever re-read a book, after a long break, and find that you are discovering things in that book you did not notice during your first read? If so, its because in the meantime you have learnt stuff and grown from it. So when you re-read the book you are reading it with a new mind and attitude.

Depends how you relate to what is around you with what is within you. Your authentic unconditional Self is the unconditional/unblemished truth within you. It's expression is love from your heart. If travelling and living in different places can help you to become more grateful and accepting in your life, then that love within you will be expressed more often. However, that openness of gratitude and acceptance can become you whenever, and wherever, you allow it to.

We have memory. We remember past negative emotions. The goal is to come to a point where you have accepted what caused the negative emotion in the first place. For instance, many people re-experience grief and loss of a loved one on a yearly basis. They remember how painful it was when it first experienced the loss. If they have accepted the loss, they naturally will still feel some sadness, but can accept that again and move on. Those who have not accepted their loss will relive their grief and loss until they do accept it. Even after acceptance, one may revisit their original grief, but it usually subsides when they remind themselves that they have accepted it, or made amends, or dealt with it in the past. I still remember / re-experience certain negative emotions, especially when I relate to them through another person. Like, someone does something which may trigger a past embarrassment for me. I may even go red in the face, but I no longer actually have the stories of embarrassment attached to them. They are simply re-visits of how I was. They remind me of how far removed I am from being such a fearful person in my earlier life. Or how I no longer actually create so many negative emotions for myself anymore. To answer your question: It may never stop arising, because you have memory, but you no longer need to dwell on them anymore. Re-accept it allows those emotions to arise and quickly fade away, knowing it was just a memory.

Good story. I liked the conclusion. I hope you don't mind me adding a variant. ...Having the experience of being ignorant makes being enlightened that much better. He no longer feels as naive but also has greater empathy for the humans-waiting-to-be-enlightened around him...

@Hardik jain Boredom is being stuck in the known, and it comes from the fear of the unknown. Face your fears of using your imagination for creating interest and curiosity in the things you have taken for granted. Exercise your imagination to find the truth about your own boredom. Since you won't go on a retreat, try sitting alone in the dark of night, in silence, from dusk to dawn. Find out what fears of the unknown arising in you. Become curious about your fears so you can examine them in and out.

@SFRL, on top of what @Arion said. There is the understanding of things based on knowledge plus experience. Neither just knowledge, or just experience, provides a level of understanding which can be used efficiently.

@Moreira Consider this, it may alleviate your depression about afterlife. For me, the most important experience while alive is the joy of love in my heart. It is the last thing I want to experience when I die. Anything else during, and after dying, has no value for me.

@Pablo Neirotti Good stuff from Rito. I noticed this part in your Op in particular It seems like the large part of "concentrating on a task" is not actually doing the task but figuring out how to do the task. Like figuring out what to write. Try to first figure out exactly how to do the task before actually doing it. In this way, any interruptions during the figuring is not interrupting the task since you have not yet engaged in it. And if interrupted while doing the task, won't upset you because you know where and how to continue with the task afterwards.

This may not be related to OP, but it reminded me of a poem given to me many years ago. It was written in 1934.

Have faith that you are and will be okay regardless of what goes down. Faith destroys the fear of doubt.

Depends on your reference point and belief in the affirmation. Also, an affirmation without action may never eventuate. Words have a lot of meanings for a person. Using the wrong words, for an affirmation, could actually backfire. Example; If your affirmation is "I want to be healthy and fit", then your reference point and belief is that you are unhealthy and unfit. As long as you use that particular affirmation you may actually stay unwell. An affirmation which will make it hard on yourself to change: "I no longer smoke". Your reference point and belief is that you once smoked. It was a copying strategy that worked. So when you are looking for a way to cope, your mind will remind you that you once smoked and that worked. Good affirmations focus in the NOW. They do not refer to your past. Example: Whenever the urge to have a smoke arises, the affirmation would be (said with absolute conviction) "I don't even smoke! Why would I want a smoke!?" The mind will sense an error and quickly cancel the urge for a smoke. This sort of affirmation can change a person very quickly, such as three weeks, to never having an urge for a smoke. Side Note: For most people it takes 90 days (3 months), doing the new behaviour daily, before it becomes not only automatic but you will miss it if you don't do it.

@Roxane Thanks for your resources. I have looked at them but I still like to eat small portions of fish and other meats. Though I have increased my proportions of veg and starches.

The ideal is both (1) and (2). In that way, when you are with family and friends, life is good. Then when you find yourself alone, life is good also.

Why not try introspection. Pick a single word to explore (to find the truth of the matter) which may be related to your self. Example, sitting with the word "doubt". For at least 30 minutes, sit with that single word and find what it really truly is. Go beyond what your mind will initially define. Go beyond your doubts about the word 'doubt'. Go beyond self ridicule for seeking out the truth about 'doubt'. Even sit with the silence of surrendering to 'doubt', for that is when revelations awaken you. This can be a way to awakening, one word at a time.

Hello Leo. I studied psychology for three years, as a subject, to gain a degree in counselling. Psychology is very interesting for newcomers, but it lacks in certain areas. Firstly, it is under the umbrella of philosophy, and as such philosophy is not looked at very much. If I were you, I would study philosophy (as a hobby) while studying psychology. That is what I done and it helped me a great deal. Philosophy gives psychology more depth in regards to what a person is. Spirituality goes even deeper than philosophy (phi) or psychology (psi). However, without phi and psy, spirituality tends to float away from the human, and become unrelated in many ways. Whereas with phi and psy, spirituality becomes more related to the human. Because of this, spirituality becomes more responsible and governed by the individual rather than by outside influences. The truth (phi) and love (psy) side of spirituality becomes dominant. After gaining my degree in counselling, my truth seeking shifted from outside of me to inside of me. Self-honesty and dealing with all my fears became the cornerstone of my spiritual growth. Since then, I found that the practice of psychology and counselling is only skin deep. Spirituality helps to understand the core issues.

@Outer @Roxane Thank you for your interesting input. It has helped me to tweak my food intake. By the way, my body is now used to eating much less than it used to. It does not scream for food just because its time to eat. I eat much healthier foods and I eat without distractions, and enjoy smaller mouth-fulls. I take my time to enjoy the flavour and aroma of what I am eating. It's all new for me and I enjoy it. Also feeling much better within my body. Thanks again.

People are either fearful or loving at any particular moment. When we fear, we are unaware of the (deeper) truth of what we fear. This is normal, because hardly anybody is enlightened (not ignorant). When we love, we are aware of the truth of what we love. This is not so normal, because hardly anybody is unconditional (totally selfless). In other words, human beings are more fearful than loving (unconditionally). By knowing our own truth, through continuous self-honesty, we can discern the truth of others. We become attuned to what is true (loving) or untrue (fearful). We also see ourselves in others, and see similarities with our own fears (past or still present). In that similarity we understand and have empathy. We also understand that people need to find their own truth to understand what they have been untrue (ignorant/denial/fearful) about. Live and let live has its place until input is asked for.

@faith, you mentioned you have bad habits. You know that they are bad, and so that is not your ideal self (unless you want to be bad). If you want to improve, ditching a bad habit would be an obvious choice. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

@Principium Nexus Be honest, even if you fear losing the relationship. I know that maybe is not what you wanted to read. But I am just being honest.

Yeah, that does seem logical, but many people find themselves in situations where being 'as they are' does not fit their ideal self. They are not happy with themselves 'as they are'. So they try to reach their concept on an ideal-self. The strange thing about this is that once they get there, their ideal-self advances. There is no end to improvement. We all have an ideal-self. The ideal is what motivates us to change. For most in this forum, their ideal self is to be self-actualized. Where most others have an ideal self which is enough to just fit in, or be approved, by their peers (whatever that may be). So to 'fit in' has become their ideal, which is not 'as they are' but 'as others are'. I've been there and done that many times. The social part of existence is full of sub-cultures. Even this forum is a sub-culture of sorts. Sub-cultures are almost impossible to escape from if you wish to hang around like-minded people. The sassy ones, seem to me, to be those that wish to be seen on top, or too challenging, amongst their peers. They fear being seen as mediocre, or the underling.

Seems like there is no self-improvement in staying with the present task in hand. Performance results meets expectations when the processes of reaching those results are met, or performed. So try and just focus at one step at a time. One sale at a time. After all, that is what the boss is paying you to do, to perform the process correctly each time you go through it. Don't let yourself get distracted, like feeling bored, or looking forward to doing something else. Self-improvement requires a lot of practice, everyday we practice improving our ability to remain calm, tolerant, patient, forgiving, allowing, letting go of our fears, accepting what does not go our way, focus on the job at hand. All this brings a person to maximum efficiency. Though the world, these days, seems to care more about speed rather than efficiency. It may be better for us to find employers who care more about efficiency than the appearance of speed. Speed may be the culprit which pushes one to become inefficient.

From what you described, it sounds like self-promotion. Without it, they may see themselves as nothing special. If so, then they may try and make out that nothing else is special except themselves.

@poimandres Sorry poimandres, I meant to click on PetarKa '@ User' button. Nevertheless, my point was that he may wish to do nothing, but life is the result of one moment to the next regardless if you did nothing. Generally, if nothing changes, nothing changes, but that is not so because we do get older. But by ceasing the concept of time in yourself, there is a chance that another concept of time, and/or life, may be revealed. Such as a life of timelessness. Some call the Spirit life as a life of eternity. In other words, while thinking about self, and this world, we become slaves to the concept of time 'ticking away'. By ceasing/pausing the train of thought, we effectively pause time, and then a knowing happens which cannot be explained by reasoning (a time process). It just is. And that IS, is as definite as a truth is. It cannot be broken down like the concept of time can. So while we are alive in this world, we might as well play with this concept of time. Play with it to create something, like making a sandwich to eat for lunch. Or just sit still and try and stop breathing. While we are alive, time is difficult to escape from, so we might as well play with it while we can.