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During an abuse, I would count the strokes. This gave me an indication of when it will more than likely stop. But one time the count kept going. About the 30 count all pain left the body. I looked into my fathers eyes at the stroke of 34, and he looked into mine. He stopped. and ran into his bedroom. I went into my bedroom to lay on the bed, but I soon found out that I could only lay on my stomach.... Forty years later I decided to revisit that episode via a quick pen sketch. I discovered three valuable things from this. My father at the time had surely lost the plot. He was insane with rage. I never thought my parents were subject to losing the plot. In retrospect of my own history, I could also relate to losing the plot. It was this relating that helped me to forgive his insane behaviour. During the abuse, when his eyes met mine he could see his own truth. Seeing his own truth snapped him out of his insanity. That is why he stopped beating me. I faced the fear and it ran away. Furthermore, when my endorphins took over the pain I realized that I was still okay. In other words, it is only my body that experiences pain. It is pain that tells me I have a body. But without the pain I am not the body, but something else. My mother did not interfere during the abuse, or any other abuse. She also witnessed the insanity of it all. Yet was willing to allow it to happen again and again. Was she that fearful of my father, or was there something else? I still have no answer to that and most probably will never know. So be it.

A tincture wand.

@MiracleMan If I was in your position I would go back onto the medication to help me to think better without those depressive episodes. Then start learning how to manage depression psychologically, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I find that C-BT (Cognition effecting behaviour) used back to front B-CT (behaviour effecting cognition) helps me. Depression can put you in a hole, but getting out of that hole and be active can change one's thinking. That is why I like cycling around the country side. It refreshes me. Psychologically, depression often plays a tune about all the things that do and have not gone OUR way. It is okay if things don't go our way. Life is full of things not going our way. It is accepting and adapting to change which makes life interesting and exciting. Don't fear change. Change is our friend. Start learning and practice managing depression. When you think that your new skills are working for you, then tell the doctor/psychiatrist about your management plan and how it is working. Then ask to have the medication dosage dropped for a few months as a trial period. If depressive episodes no longer increase due to managing depression without previous dosage levels, then ask for another lower dosage. Eventually you may manage depression without medication. In my opinion that is a more prudent approach to managing clinical depression if medication side effects are a problem. However, there is a common misconception that some people with depression fall for. That is, they take the medication and start feeling well. After a while they think they no longer need the medication and stop taking them. After a few weeks they are back in the black hole. Then they go back on the medication which takes a few weeks before they feel better again. Some repeat this scenario often, which can add fuel to being depressed. It is a chemical imbalance of the body. To regain balance takes time. Exercise, nutrition, altered attitudes could reestablish the needed balance over several months or more. But in the meantime one needs some assistance through proper medication. This approach does not work for all people with clinical depression, so be prepared to accept that if it is in your case. However, I would give the above approach a go.

@mudita Thank you for the information. I checked binuaral beats on the Internet and related it to the rise of harmonics. There is something else that has not been mentioned in the article I read, i.e., brain cavity resonances when we hear sounds (the third beat?). That is why we sound different when we hear a recording of our voice. Anyway, crystals charge and release energy under vibration. Especially when the vibration is induced into it. Later in this post you will see a sonic wand based on such principles. Crystals are used in electronics. Due to their structure, they can vibrate at a set frequency. Crystal oscillators used in clocks and computers are for frequency reference. A good example of a crystal charging and discharging under stress are crystal lighters.

@mudita I do not know of any special name other than the one given. I have not found any wands that resemble these ones. They are DIY wands, designed according to Barry's study notes. These were originally from some American researcher of the 1970s, I think. Basically there is a quartz crystal embedded in one, or both ends, of a copper tube. The tube acts like a waveguide and cavity resonator for energy flowing between crystal and hand/body. For more convenience that anything else, crystal wands and scanners are used without anything attached to them. They are just specifically and naturally occurring quartz crystals. Their geometry governs their use. Benefits are mostly in relationship with the recipient. It is a therapy which works well for those that want it to. And not so much for those that don't. That is why many call it a placebo therapy. However, crystals used correctly can unblock certain energy pathways, and they can also shut them off too, without the recipient's collaboration. Recipients who are treated incorrectly, or are doubtful, can experience a negative outcome (such as fear) to the effects in the body. A good therapist will know what to do by experience coupled with intuition, and can explain to the recipient what is happening, and what to expect. A part of crystal therapy is to balance and harmonize the energy flows of the body - this includes the chakras. It should not be used solely in place of traditional approaches to medical practices. Here is a link to a previous post of how I initially experienced these things.

@Ritu Depends what you want a break from. From truth, from fantasy, from sobriety, from workaholism, from being a mother.... Somethings are too precious to take a break from. Others are not important enough to be affected by a break. Could you explain your situation a bit more?

Her passion does not match her definition of success. If one's passion is to give but their definition of success is to get. Then passion and success will not match. If one's passion is to dance and their definition of success is to become a headliner, they may be disappointed. But if success was to dance the best way they can and enjoy it, then that becomes a more achievable match for success.

Counselling.

Don't be honest. For the truth hurts.

Bullies do what they do to get recognition from others. However, it takes those others to reject the bully's behaviour before the bully stops being a bully. In the meantime, as others have already said, stand your ground, but not in retaliation but in indifference. Say to yourself, "It is mind over matter, I don't mind and he doesn't matter". However, be prepared to be firmer if need to. The school counsellor should have all there is to now about dealing with bullies, because it is a big problem in schools everywhere.

General purpose (in and out) wand. There are termination points on the wand handle for channeling energies to and from the hand chakra. These portals aid the therapist to either scan and read external energies into the wand or channel internal healing energies out of the wand. There are two types of crystal terminal wand ends, one for input and the other for output. Personally, I do not know of anybody else who has wands designed this way. Barry believed this innovation has improved the efficiency of wands as a therapeutic tool. You will notice that I have a hand chakra terminal in the Rainmaker too. I know that these wands may sound very strange and hog-wash for many people. It is those that have experienced them that would think differently. I was fortunate to have met Barry and discover another aspect of the human condition. From these experiences I was able to design new ways of improving the crystal wand as an instrument for healing.

Both neighbours on either side of us have complained to my father about my screaming (while being beaten). I did not hear enough of the conversations to understand. I thought the neighbours were angry with me for making a noise. Well that was what my father implied. Then one day I was getting flogged in the lounge room when my father got interrupted by a knock on the door. It was the neighbour from across the road. He threatened to call the police if he did not stop beating me. I thought 'The police? That is serious!' My father angrily told him to mind his own business and slammed the door in his face. Then my father left the room. It was then, for the first time, that I realized that something was seriously wrong. I thought, maybe it was not my fault, but my father's. From that day on, I avoided my father as best I could. I kept questioning my beliefs about parents being all knowing, all correct, and godlike. Now I am realizing that they are not perfect, especially my father. My mother didn't know what to do. I think she was scared too, though I never saw or heard any evidence of them fighting. It was a wake-up call. I was now on my own. Survival was totally up to me now. I was in my late forties when I did this quick sketch. It has helped me to let go of any remaining childhood ideas that parents are supposed to be all knowing, responsible and mature people. They are just as scared about life as most people (regardless of age).

@MiracleMan Hi. here is a diagnostic criteria for major depression. If you find that you fit into this criteria (by honest) I would make an appointment to see a doctor. The doctor may recommend a referral to a psychiatrist who will help you to manage it. This is important, because your thread title "Wishing for an end" may also suggest a wish for suicide. Such suggestions point to what might be coming around the corner. I strongly suggest you seek professional help.

Our realm can be considered the densest we know, otherwise we would more than likely to have detected it. In this regard we could say that other realms, incorporating other dimensionalities, is much finer. Spirits, ghosts, demons, and the like are said to reside in such finer realms. Aliens, and their vehicles, have often been seen to appear and disappear from and to a vanishing point within itself. This points to coming from and returning to a finer realm. Every story I have heard/read about alien encounters have a deceptive element to it. It has no bases of truth, except that they exist, but not as we know it. IMHO

Building the bridge. The first task is to put in the bridge footings and piers. Could not find appropriate dowel thickness for the footings, so I had to cut them out and shape them. I used 3 mm bamboo skewers for aligning and doweling the footings and piers into position, After gluing the footings I covered the edge between tabletop and footings with wood putty, so as to make it look as if the footings go into the water as opposed to being on it.

@Annetta Me too. Thanks for following.

A persons nature is akin to personality. Personalities are largely formed by the collection of beliefs, or belief system, of the person. Everybody has a different collection of beliefs and convictions. A major change in beliefs can change a persons personality and/or nature. Beliefs are self-imposed agreements as to what we agree to be true or not. As much as we can take on a belief we can also edit them. We do this all the time, but most of these are about superficial knowledge and not so much about our deeper self. Those that practice deep introspection about their own truth often make profound changes of attitude, perception, and behaviour. Many become humble, gentle, loving, patient, tolerant, forgiving, truthful, meek. Where before, they had little of these virtues. To change an undesirable trait requires a willingness to change it without compromise. Any compromise is the thin edge of the wedge. It will split apart any goal of success. Psychologically, new habits take at least three months practice, with out compromise, before it becomes natural (nature) for them. To change something, it must change to something else. Don't change one undesirable trait for another undesirable trait. Many do this because it is easier. In some circles, they call this 'changing the witch for the bitch'. It is a compromise which normally fails to meet your true desire for change. So change it for something opposite to its nature. If nothing changes, nothing changes. It works if you work it.

Interdimensional hypothesis points to answering your question.

Accept, accept, accept. And guess what, you'll still be okay.

I have a wand that has made me duck for cover. Much like everybody else, we have our share of extraordinary incidences. This one started after I showed Barry my latest wand. It was constructed using the guidelines by a book which Barry loaned me. It was meant to be a healing wand for other living creatures. When Barry examined it he told me it was a powerful rainmaker. I thought he was playing with me, but he was adamant about it, and told me to be careful with it. After the visit, I was back at home wondering what made Barry say it was a rainmaker. I decided to give it a whirl and a point (this was long before Harry Potter). I was in my lounge room, at the time. As I whirled it around I imagined winding up an elastic band. Then I thrust the wand forward. Instantly a huge BANG occurred just outside my place. I immediately hit the deck. A few seconds later rain pelted down, it was the start of a thunderstorm. I looked outside the window, it was overcast. I thought were did that come from? There was no sign of bad weather half an hour ago. Barry was right. But how did he know? Next time I saw him, I told this story and he just gave me a friendly smirk.

@Epiphany_Inspired Yes, I agree. It constantly reminds me that crystals, in particular, are orderly chemical constructions, and we are chemically constructed organisms. Each has similar forms of potential and dynamical energies. In that regard, crystals can be used in harmony with the human body. There is another aspect which always comes to mind. That is, everything is not necessarily so. Everything is quasi. Things change, including crystals and human beings.

Hello Annetta. Would you be willing to share your art therapy piece (and others) when you are finished with it? I would be interested in knowing how it has helped your self-improvement.

@Epiphany_Inspired Thanks for your response. I used art therapy on myself for a number of reasons. Each for searching a deeper meaning. The ones which are done very quickly, by using charcoal, pencil or pen, are done for face the fears that haunted me. There are some that were created unintentionally via doodles. Others were done slowly in the form of paintings and collages. I do not do art professionally. For me, art is a means to self-discovery. I have rarely done any art, over the last thirty years, while working as a counsellor. Now that I am retired, art is creeping back into my life. The above examples were my past haunts. They no longer have hold on me. I am posting these examples to share with others that art therapy can be an alternative approach to healing. In relation to art therapists, my understanding is that their main role is to encourage others to release their inhibitions and at the other end of the scale to assist in any debriefing the creator may need for recovery/grounding. Art therapy can be used in many ways, such as finding and loving one's own gender, or for even connecting with the opposite gender within themselves. Such discoveries can release a lot of self imposed barriers/impasses.

Building the diorama tabletop. Building the control box which will later be fitted to and under the tabletop.

About ten years after making the above wand, I met Barry, a neighbour and crystal therapist. We soon became best of friends and wand making became the common link with Barry's crystal therapy. He gave me all the information about crystal wand making. So I read up on it and started making wands for both of us. The first crystal therapy wand was small but very effective. At the time I had some gastro-intestinal problems. So the wand had for such problems. It had two complimentary gemstones pyrite and bloodstone. Once made, I laid on the couch with the wand on my stomach. Several minutes later my stomach was making all sorts of commotions before I had to relieve the tensions. After which I felt okay again. I was very impressed.