@khalifa
I have similar experience as you (though with lsd and not so severe at all in the end). I strongly recommend you to find and get psychiatric help (did you try?). If it is not available in your country, travel, save money, get medication. Do not lean (just) on homeopatic cures etc., even meditation or online therapies. I have a sympathy for these things, but especially after 5 years, you need to try medication.
My story: I tried LSD for the first (and last) time, first hours were great, but I ended up with similar symptoms for about a week. I experienced "different mind" too, along other stuff (no sleep for 2 nights, one schizophrenia-like episode, weird "cracking" feeling in my mind every 5 seconds when I moved my eyeballs. Different mind - like if I was just an empty observer of my being, luckily it stopped after 3 days).
These complications had purely "psychiatric" nature - nothing to do with enlightment feeling (maybe that different mind did, but again, 3 days is too much). Others who took the substance were ok next day. If had not these complications lasting for a week in total, maybe I would consider trying it again.
Maybe, probably, majority of people are ok the next day or two after lsd. But for me, it was not just one-night bad trip, it lasted for whole week! And I already had experince with weed, no longterm complications.
My motivation was the same - to play with my awareness, inspired by Actualized. I was 20 yo and take full responsibility for it. And I dont want to frame this as if Actulized.org is doing harm.
BUT while most of the people know about bad trips, maybe some (me at least) hadn't thought much it may bring longterm complications (other than becoming enlighted) for some individuals. (OFC it depends on substance purity too. But again, I was the only one having complications out of 4 people).
I want to say - longterm complications do exist, include them into your risk-benefit decision process when taking psychedelics, especially for the first time.
@khalifa Im sorry this happened to you. I can relate to that russian rulette reference. Wish I could give you better advice.
PS I joined this forum in 2017, and this is my first post. Will be offline again probably.
