Seed

Gotta love ? a paradox

But we don’t know if he’s ALL masculine, the same as I am not All feminine. So all I am suggesting is him thinking about what’s best for himself as an individual based his on his own balance of feminine and masculine energy ? Rather than project our own thoughts onto him and tell him what to do...: I’m just suggesting that he uses his own wisdom and intuition that’s all. We’ve never met him or her. This is all just a very basic outline of a situation... so any advise is going to be completely subjective anyway.

So men don’t want to have more enjoyable sex with someone they trust? They’d rather have fast food sex ? I think some of you may be missing the bigger picture. yes if he’s just looking for a hole to put his dick inside then I guess your method works. But let’s at least see what he wants first before making presumptions based on our own experiences as a desperately horny teen. Young people now, are far more aware than they ever been. And (of course) evolving .... as far as I can see (I maybe wrong) but he just wants to know if she’s Interested in him... not a 123 method for fast food sex. Maybe he wants a relationship with her ? We don’t know yet as we haven’t asked.

As opposed to what ? Isn’t this egoic experience all fantasies and games... ?

Lol. Really.... Put it this way. If you want a preticable, generic girlfriend and relationship, then yes. Do all of this. If you want an authentic, spontaneous girlfriend and relationship. Then get to know her and feel into your intuition. If she runs off, then she wasn't right for you anyway. Just my tuppence worth... ;-)

The universe seems to have lined me up with a distance energy healer... I have to admit I am very skeptical However I am open minded and like to give everything a go. She is also a phychotherapist (retired) but keen to work with me regularly after I shared a little of my situation. She’s got no website and is only known through people. I am not sure whether I want to work with someone who believes they can clear energy in the house and see auras from France to UK. How is this possible ? Does anyone do this themselves or have experience or knowledge of this ability ? ?

No. That’s ridiculous.... I know many girls including myself that also jerk off to porn. It’s just a weird human weakness...

@Nahm makes sense ?

Okay. What did you mean by the women’s before? This one...

@Nahm Maya. Anyway. What do you mean then by that comment? Sorry. I don’t understand.. ?

You mean it’s all part of the illusion anyway? I suppose you could say that about anything though ?

Hello all! I have recently statrted seeing a new therapist. He is a male Jungian analyst. This is my first time with a Jungian and also with a male. Although I wouldnt have expected the gender makes much of a difference, but, who knows!? We have had 5 sessions so far and by the 4th session I became very frustrated and upset because he spends long periods of the session in silence. If I talk, he often holds his hand up to pause me. Which I feel ruins our flow. When he pauses his eyes go up to his head and he holds his face. These pauses go on for a good few minutes. And I just sit there until he comes back to me. I often ask him questions and he doesnt answer straight away, he does that instead. I thought this may be because I am new and he just needed a few sessions to get used to me. But as I said, by the 4th session, when I came out. I realised how upset and frustrated I was! I felt like I wasnt listened to or acknowledged. I then brought it up with him the very next session which was on Friday and he said (after a 3 minute pause) that the reason he does this is because he is 'checking in' with himself, to see what is arising. What thoughts and feelings are present. A bit like when we meditate. He says he does this to make sure he is remaining impartial. Whlst this does make sense, it seems like it takes a lot of time for him to do this, I would of thought, as a skilled therapist (over 30 years experience) he could do both. Remain present with me, looking at me, be emotionally available at the same time as remaining impartial. But maybe I am expecting too much? He also said that he does this because he has noticed I am very, very senstive. So he wants to ensure he chooses the right words to say to me. Again - makes sense. But also creates a lot of discomfort, disturbs the flow and puts my mind into overdrive whilst I try to fill in the blanks. By him focussing on himself and what to say next, It makes me focus on him too. And my own thoughts. He also says that he pauses as an example, to show me what I should be doing. To pause, reflect and check in with myself, during the session. He is indicating I should do the same. I will happily do this - but does this need to happen for so long and after almost every question or sharing of intimate detais. It takes me a while to get going as I can be quite reserved. So it's hard to then just sit there whilst he goes into himself. I can go into myself outside the session, why do it there when I am paying so much money? However, I don't want to just stop going because of a different approach when it might be just what I need. t's just the lack of eye contact and pausing for sooooo long really unsettles me. Anyone else experienced this? Thank you!

Now I really don’t know what to do. I guess it was all part of a bigger plan and we were not seeing the bigger picture. I guess he was in the middle of a process. I feel for him to be honest... always frustrating when you can’t finish a project ?

So having taken on board your comments and spoken to other therapists, as well as my own gut instinct. I’ve called off the rest of the sessions.... his response - Hello Natalie, I’m sorry to her this. It’s not a good idea to stop psychotherapy suddenly. I suggest we keep the sessions we have arranged prior to my break and I won’t charge you for these. I’ll invoice you for sessions to date, let me know if you need time to pay this. James Is it a good idea to have the final three sessions for free? Again, is it odd that he is offering me for free? He usually charges £80 an hour? Atm, I am so lost, so please don’t say ‘go with your heart’ as the recent year has eroding my self trust, which is the reason I am in therapy. Thoughts on continuing to tie up loose ends? sorry. I know I am pathetic to ask such basic questions to a forum. But this is where I am at. The only way is up ?

I don’t know if I have that much control but I’ll def give it a go tonight...

@black_math49 I am often concious in my dreams too.. it's annoying, as I would rather switch off.

She charged me £20 to cleanse my house and she cleared a negative thought form that had attached itself to me. That was all that was meant to happen as I didn't approach her for pychotherapy. All of this was done with her husband from France whilst we werent even on a call. She just tuned in pychically. . But she says she feels that I could do with regular healing energy work alongside the therapy. Obviously, she was not pushy, just stating what had come to her. She is in her seventies so looking to have less work than more. She said my aura is very open and could do with grounding and that she can help with my childhood traumas that I carry. She described very accutely the feeling that I have most of the time, which is that i am floating above my body.. SHe just intuitively picked that up. She charges £50 per session, which can be weekly or fortnightly. In this session she does an hour of pychotherapy and 30 mins mindfulness and energy healing.

Could be rubbish, I agree. But I guess it’s all a process of trial and error til I get the right fit. Best to be open minded isn’t it?

Thank you everyone for the brilliant and thought provoking responses! Wow! This pace really is a hive of wisdom. I've taken all on board and feel much better about it all. I thought I was the mad one!? Anyway, funnily enough, which ties in seamlessly with @Leo Gura suggestion... I used to do transmformational breathwork and I had a chat with the facilitator yesterday and she actually suggested a brilliant pychic / energy healer who lives in France and does the work via whatsapp vid, she is very well known in the circle of healers. I had a chat with her too and she pickedup on me straight away and as Leo said, knew exactly what I needed. She said I am very sensitive soul with chinks in my armour due to childhood trauma, so she is going to teach me how to take care and protect myself from aborbing too much negative energies from others. As those who are so senstive, I are left very exposed. And that whilst being sensitive is a wonderful skill, not being taught to take care of it will wreak havoc on the energy system. I feel right with her, Thanks for all the help! Happy actualizing. :-)

Have a look at YouTube videos on how to give good blowjobs. It’s really very easy. It’s all about confidence. if you believe you are a sex goddess then you will act accordingly. Enjoy yourself. Have fun!! Play! It’s really very easy... try to think about how it felt to be a child and play... well, sex is adult play. Lose yourself in the moment. Think about how you feel rather performance. It’s about succumbing to the moment and to your own sensuality. hope this helps ?

What is ridiculous? I know he is very unorthordox, but does that make him ridiculous or is that our own projection?

@Leo Gura But how do I know this isn't my ego getting defensive? It's so hard to know.... ?!

I interpreted him as my dad saying I am emotionally manipulative and also the abuser saying I was. So it made sense to me. And I said ‘I know that i am emotionally manipulative’ as I suppose as knew jerk reaction and because I want to develop self awareness. I know it takes two to tango. When I said I wished to explore this, he said that this isn’t my primary relationship and wants to know more about that... and he asked me some direct questions. So the avenue was closed. This hurt me a lot as I am still carrying a lot of pain and confusion from that previous relationship. I thought it might be good to work with a male to help me build trust in them again. But sadly, the opposite is proving true ☹️

I suppose when he goes into himself. It makes me feel like what I’ve said is really weird and he has to think really long and hard to get his head around it. I don’t mind pausing in therapy, I think it’s very effective. It’s just with him, it goes on for minutes and I feel stuff comes up for me that I can’t say because he’s in the middle of his own contemplation. I don’t want to disturb his process. I usually let this stuff slide but the session In question, where I got particularly upset and even cried (Something I’ve never done before in a therapy session). I got very worked up about it. And that’s what lead to the tears I had brought some stuff up that were personal and sensitive to me and I said ‘I am not sure if I am overreacting, but.... bla bla’ and he said I was. Quite bluntly. And that upset me. And another thing was that he lifts his hands up when I am talking to pause me. This makes me feel like I am ‘too much’ for him. I also mentioned how this ex of mine had emotionally manipulated me. (He was a narcissist) and the therapist just said one finger pointing at him, three fingers back at yourself’ I understand what he was saying but it just hurt me a lot as one of my issues is I blame myself for all the worlds problems. And I felt I was shut down for opening up an avenue I wanted to explore. its a tricky one to work out how much is him / how much is me. Whether the dynamic holds lots of challenging opportunities for growth or whether we are just a mismatch. Therapy is so expensive and time consuming and emotionally draining. I really want to make sure I get the right therapist as I have a lot of deep rooted issues to unearth. That have been left to fester for much too long.

@Michael569 And this isn’t anything to do with me projecting my discomfort onto him ? This is what I am paranoid about. I was really upset and frightened in the session but then I’ve been dealing with a lot of that anyway due the year ive had with a very Toxic, manipulative person. It’s so tricky to trust myself. I don’t want to run away cause the going’s got tough.