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Secondary school choices - what would you do?! My daughter is ten years old. She’s very sensitive, she likes to feel nurtured and supported. She is also very bright, sociable and creative. She can be shy in large groups, and she also can struggle and get overwhelmed with school work / reading. I would say she is not ‘academic’ but she does well enough, she could do a lot better if she pushed herself and realized how capable she is. We have choice of following secondarys: Choice 1: very small state school (700 in total), most of her friends are going, very heart Centred however known to be underfunded, under resourced, disorganized and never pick up phone. Ofsted rating good and they do well enough in league tables. NO 6th form. They do have some nice club, it appears very friendly, although a little rough round the edges. Has a charming feel to it, and feels like a school! Choice 2: very large state school, rated one of the top 5 schools in county alongside 4 grammar schools. 2300 kids. Exceptional teaching, facilities and buildings. (Only built a few years ago so very modern, spacious and swish) academic so push children but also lots of clubs and societies. Ofsted rating outstanding. Downsides are that there doesn’t seem to be much in places in terms of smaller communities and nurture. No quiet room they can go to when things get too much etc… unless you’re in a ‘club’ that is. Has a very cold and clinical feel about it! More like giant offices than a school! I’ve looked round both, my daughter changes her mind constantly and doesn’t have a preference. She changed every day and feels it’s too hard a choice. She likes the idea of a fresh start and exciting new school but worried about size and missing her friends. The small school is also very tired looking, shabby etc. Ultimately I want her to do well academically but most importantly want her to be happy. I’ve asked other parents who all have mixed experiences with both, but the bigger school Is the most recommended. I feel like perhaps she’d be more suited to smaller school but at same time I don’t want to hold her back when the big school could be a chance for her to grow and shine .✨ Any advice / experiences / opinions most welcome!! Thanks OP

Secondary school choices - what would you do?! My daughter is ten years old. She’s very sensitive, she likes to feel nurtured and supported. She is also very bright, sociable and creative. She can be shy in large groups, and she also can struggle and get overwhelmed with school work / reading. I would say she is not ‘academic’ but she does well enough, she could do a lot better if she pushed herself and realized how capable she is. We have choice of following secondarys: Choice 1: very small state school (700 in total), most of her friends are going, very heart Centred however known to be underfunded, under resourced, disorganized and never pick up phone. Ofsted rating good and they do well enough in league tables. NO 6th form. They do have some nice club, it appears very friendly, although a little rough round the edges. Has a charming feel to it, and feels like a school! Choice 2: very large state school, rated one of the top 5 schools in county alongside 4 grammar schools. 2300 kids. Exceptional teaching, facilities and buildings. (Only built a few years ago so very modern, spacious and swish) academic so push children but also lots of clubs and societies. Ofsted rating outstanding. Downsides are that there doesn’t seem to be much in places in terms of smaller communities and nurture. No quiet room they can go to when things get too much etc… unless you’re in a ‘club’ that is. Has a very cold and clinical feel about it! More like giant offices than a school! I’ve looked round both, my daughter changes her mind constantly and doesn’t have a preference. She changed every day and feels it’s too hard a choice. She likes the idea of a fresh start and exciting new school but worried about size and missing her friends. The small school is also very tired looking, shabby etc. Ultimately I want her to do well academically but most importantly want her to be happy. I’ve asked other parents who all have mixed experiences with both, but the bigger school Is the most recommended. I feel like perhaps she’d be more suited to smaller school but at same time I don’t want to hold her back when the big school could be a chance for her to grow and shine .✨ Any advice / experiences / opinions most welcome!! Thanks OP

Just curious, baring in my gender differences that are so often discussed in here.

@Bobby_2021 Why is that? I have a ten year old girl and due a baby boy in 2 months! xx

are you male or female?

I just wanted to thank everyone for their input a few months ago! As it happened, I got pregnant very quickly… just one try 😅 this little soul was definitely waiting in line…. We’re due a little boy in early June. It’s been quite a transitional but we’re all delighted, especially big sister to be!!!

So, the title says it all.... I am in deep conflict about it. I am 34, almost 35 years old. Whilst I dont have a deep yearning for another child - I am aware of the ticking clock and feel that if I dont have one now, then I wont have one ever. Mentally if I am one and done, I need to know that so I can focus on what we have, our future, and the benefits of being a family of three. I also have a garage full of baby stuff that I need sort out / sell! ? A little about our family. We have a beautiful, funny, smart free spirited, kind, empathic but challenging 9 year old daughter. Challenging in terms of her being highly sensitive and emotional. She is multi layered, strong willed and passionate. Parenting her often feels like parenting 3 or 4 children! We feel complete and we love her to bits. Myself and my partner also run two businesses and I am in my final year of a pyschotherapy degree so will soon be setting up private practise. We don't have a ton of money but we could make the spaces and make cut backs in order to cater and provide for another. It would mean living more carefully, and not having the freedom we have been blessed with until now when it comes to travel and weekend trips / clubs / classes etc for our daughter. So, practically, it wouldnt be a breeze, the house is pretty compact but we could make it work... However, I am also worried about the age gap of 10 years + how this will effect my daughter going into her teens with a very young child around. Will another one completely mess up the dynamic and rthymn of our family? Will we have to split up on weekends and holidays, one parent taking one kid and the other taking the other one.... I also had a very traumatic birth with my daughter, I nearly lost her. This holds me back, I feel so lucky and blessed with what we have. Why roll the dice again? I am also almost 35, so I am not young anymore. I dont know if I have the patience, energy and enthusiam I had before about another one. And I want my next child to be as wanted and as celebrated as my first.... even before conception if that makes sense. But then there is a part of me that feels grief at the idea of not having another.... at selling all the stuff in the garage and my daughter growing up without any siblings. Is she deprived? Is it too late anyway as she is already 10 so a sibling would be more like a neice or a nephew... I also worry about her feeling like a second mummy as I want her to stay a kid. And feel like a kid. I am worried about birth defects, autism, disabilities... and how that will just completely turn her world upside down and also my partner and i have a great relationship and presevering that matters to us too. But if I dont - willl I regret? I am 35 - - in another tens years time - I will have an empty nest. At the moment this excites me but when the time comes will I be regret not extended my family? And not having a child to love and nurture in the same way anymore. I am very maternal but I also have passion to develop my career and travel. Basically, I know nobody can answer these questions but myself. But if anyone resonates, has similar experiences to share, of age gaps, or having one child quite young and then having their life ahead of them. Any thoughts or words of wisdom would be very appreciated. Thank you in advance !!!

I think the public lynching pre trial or conviction is unfair. Also the fact he was pushing boundaries alongside the entire noughties culture at this point. It was the ‘norm’ and very much an era where this behavior was encouraged and enabled… by both men and women. He’s been well and truly scapegoated. I’m not saying he’s innocent but the way he’s being treated PRE conviction is despicable. He’s given a lot and touched many lives and ultimately believe he’s a good human but took a while to find his way. However he must pay the fair punishment for his crimes IF they were committed

https://www.thefound.co.uk/laura-brand

No the alleged assaults happened during his sex crazed, drug fueled era before he reformed himself. He writes in his book that he had years of therapy and self development before he would even allow himself to consider becoming a father.

He has two little girls aged 5 and 6 and one due any day now.

Yes, Laura Brand, his wife is so lovely and down to earth as well. He claims that she ‘tamed’ him…. (Not soon enough unfortunately) And she hates fame, excess and limelight… that’s why he stopped appearing on mainstream tv, because he met her and she couldn’t stand it she appears very ‘normal’ and has Insta page which is now deleted promoting creative and natural play activities for children.

He’s got some cheek really hasn’t he. His last vid I reckon lost any Shred of empathy I pay have had for the public hanging. He’d have done better if he’d had shown some vulnerability and authenticity. Instead he’s hiding away behind the conspiracy shield. he really didn’t seem like any version of himself I’d ever seen. this is def a case of ‘don’t bite the hand tht feed you… ‘ but also, I’m pretty sure he’s guilty which is tragic I wonder what side his heavily pregnant wife is on…. What must be going through her right now, poor woman. And they have two other young kids. they are the innocent ones that sadly having their lives destroyed for his decade old errors / crimes as well ?

off he goes for a rumble in the jungle…. Clearly just carrying on as usual then with his show as if none of this is happening.

I was joking…. ?

I wonder when we’re all going to finally get bored talking about this? Xx

????. This is the funniest gag I’ve ever heard from you.

You’d think she’d have heard or that would have put him off though… but I don’t have the brain of a rapist so who knows.

She’s says it’s around 7 mins into the video

Just a thought. But the woman who claims she was raped against the wall said that a friend was round at the time, that he was suggesting they all had sex together which was when she said ‘no, I’m not doing that…’ and then he proceeded to rape her. surely this other person would have been a witness ? Unless he was lying that someone was round? just popped into my mind at random… perhaps there was no one there.

@Leo Gura I personally think that they agreed to have sex, she realised he wasnt wearing a condom middway, asked him to stop but he continued until ejaculation, which obviously still counts as rape and explains the condom bit. Him saying 'that was crazy and selfish' and her saying 'do I need to get checked' sounds like a dispute over the lack of condom, but I also agree force and therfore rape was involved.

There is a whole stream of texts where she is talking about him not wearing a condom and how 'no means no'... the doc didnt show the whole thread. The times article has more detail.

I percieved it has him apologising for not wearing a condom (either due to him lying and saying he had put one on and for her to find out afterwards that he hadnt and storming off, or him taking it off halfway through) However, both of these are still classified as rape. It appears that celebrities are 'guilty until proven innocent'

because they may consent and then the guy takes off the condom halfway through, forces them into a position they are uncomfortable with or finds that they feel sick and want to stop. So they are allowed to say ‘no more I want to stop cause of X Y Z, and then if the person continues then it’s rape