7thLetter

One way to get over it is to just keep doing it. Keep going out consistently until whatever bothers you now doesn't bother you anymore. My first few interactions in pickup went horribly wrong as well, but it doesn't matter because I don't expect to perfect the first few approaches. And for your problem with bumping into the same people again, don't let that stuff get to you. There have been MANY times I approached the same girl a 2nd time at the same mall and they're just like "You approached me before..." or "Oh it's you again." But I don't even remember approaching that girl last time lol. Be independent of the outcome, whatever happens happens. Just accept it.

So I was doing a bit more research on the Graves model of psychological development, I believe I'm leaning towards stage Green but a part of me is still at stage Orange. I also read how the different levels view each other and the judgements that are made. Then I read about how stage Orange views stage Green's level of thinking as irrelevant to their success and must be ignored. Which I highly agree with, because I have a PUA friend who is rigorously at stage Orange and I've been displaying my stage Green qualities around him. We think very differently, and he thinks that there's just something wrong with my inner game and that I should change it. So it has been a huge realization to me that it's true what the studies say about what each level thinks about each other. Recently we stopped hanging out/gaming together because clearly I'm irrelevant to his success with women. How do we go about and influence those of other levels to move up the ladder on the graves model of Psychological Development? Or how do we influence people to be open-minded enough to psychologically develop themselves in general?

This is most likely a limiting belief of mine, but it just seems a bit too real at the moment for me. I'm 20 years old, never had a girlfriend before, not because I'm ugly or anything, I'm actually happy with the way I look. It was just that I was never confident in myself, I was an extreme introvert, and I was never really involved with a lot of girls throughout highschool. But back then my standards for a potential girlfriend were really really low. It was so easy for me to have a crush on a girl, my mind would create some crazy beliefs that this girl or that girl was the perfect girl for me, when I didn't even know them that well. Then after high school, I started getting into a lot of partying, involved with a couple girls and this was awesome for me. I went out with one girl from a party, but I wasn't able to attract her. I was always a really needy guy with girls that I had crushes on. Then just to make the story short, I loved the idea of abundance, got involved with picking up girls. Now I'm able to approach almost any girl in public, 8 months in. Done probably 300+ approaches, but not many dates, and now I feel way more attractive, and less needy with girls. Now the reason I set my standards so high is because I can approach almost any girl, and I consistently work on myself every single day. I'm trying to be the best I can, and create a lot of value for myself. The girl that I'm looking for would be at least an 8/10, and someone who shares the same values as me. But it's rare to find a hot girl who is entrepreneur-minded or who is into self-actualization. I would date a hot girl who doesn't self-actualize, but I feel like that would end up in a dysfunctional relationship unless I help her self-actualize as well. So now I feel that my standards are too high at the moment to ever find the right girl no matter how much I go out. I know I should be independent and not look for a relationship, but I think it's about time.. Thoughts?

Great posts. Thanks for the replies

I don't really wake up in the morning, I wake up around 11 or 12, but when I do, I meditate 10 to 30 minutes depending on how much time I have, then I read a bit. Make breakfast, eggs and turkey bacon sandwich. Shower, then I turn the knob all the way down and do cold showers for 30 seconds. After I gym.

Do you film all your videos in one shot? And do you start all over if you mess up?

"Success at anything will always come down to this: focus & effort. And we control both." - Dwayne The Rock Johnson

Anyone use subliminal affirmation audios that they have all over youtube? If yes, what's your experience with them? Any noticeable changes? I've downloaded a couple of these audios for my iPod, and I use them while I meditate. One of them is for becoming more social. Haven't used it enough to notice any changes, but today I was a bit more social with customers, possibly a slight change in my personality. Thoughts on these audios?

Okay I see, I thought you were replying to my conversation with Saitama in the first place. Well what about starting a business? I feel that I have a pretty solid plan. I don't plan to go to school in order to get a job, but I plan to go to school some time in the near-future to study Entrepreneurship/Self-employment. Then I would create a business using my life purpose. At the moment I'm just studying personal development on my own time which seems to be my life purpose, and just working 2 part-time jobs on the side. Almost finished with Leo's life purpose course as well.

@electroBeam Yup I definitely said that, then I said this "My whole point is that it's much more beneficial in the long-run for a person to study personal development in their early years, as opposed to strictly studying the material in whatever field a student is in. I mean that alone is already causing some major dystrophy in one's psyche if they're not working on themselves on the side. You can argue all you want that studying geology/psychics/mathematics alone may have some sort of benefit to your personal growth, but clearly it's not as effective as studying self-help material."

@electroBeam I'm not sure what you're getting at here, but I have already proved my point and said what I had to say. That's great, we have opinions. I have already said school helps you develop productivity and learning skills. You could also learn all this stuff on your own, you don't need to go to school for it. And I don't know where the idea of making a career out of picking up girls came from but alright, yeah I agree it's not the best way to self-actualize. Even most of the pickup instructors aren't the most self-actualized people out there surprisingly

@Saitama My whole point is that it's much more beneficial in the long-run for a person to study personal development in their early years, as opposed to strictly studying the material in whatever field a student is in. I mean that alone is already causing some major dystrophy in one's psyche if they're not working on themselves on the side. You can argue all you want that studying geology/psychics/mathematics alone may have some sort of benefit to your personal growth, but clearly it's not as effective as studying self-help material. Sure being able to persist for many years with challenging material can be conducive to being a positive thinker and having a high self-esteem, but how many of those students are genuinely passionate about what they study? All I know is that I would most likely be depressed and unfulfilled studying a bunch of material that I'm not passionate about. This is why Leo puts so much emphasis on life purpose. Not a lot of people actually know their life purpose, and here's just another generalization, but most students have no idea what they're doing. They're going to school because our lower-consciousness society tells them to. Yes I agree pursuing romance/sex is definitely lower-consciousness, Leo explains it in his rant video against the pickup community. I'm also able to identify the stage orange thinking that the RSD instructors display through their seminars and videos, so no doubt it is a lower-consciousness pursuit. However, I take a stage green approach to picking up girls, and it's not so much about the sex. I won't explain myself with my approach to picking up girls but I hope you can imagine what I mean by taking a stage green approach.

@Saitama Other than developing learning skills and productivity, it's all just irrelevant to what Leo explains in his videos. Academics won't help you develop your confidence, your self-esteem, or even help you become a positive thinker now does it? I would consider being a doctor, or some sort of scientist as a "good job." But even though they have a "good job" they've spent so much time studying whatever field they're in, that I would assume most of them haven't done any work on themselves. So this is just a generalization but most of them are probably super neurotic. Picking up girls helps you develop your personality, confidence, willpower, social skills, etc. Which is all relevant to personal growth.

I feel that I really resonate with Leo's passions because I just have a deep passion for self-mastery. The positive habits that I include in my daily life are: Meditation, personal development, reading, cold showers, working out, and on the weekends I go out and approach girls in public. I mean what's a better idea than studying something that you can apply to your own life, which is personal development? It just seems to me that the people in school who spend hours studying a certain subject such as chemistry or geology, are at such a disadvantage because that's not going to help them grow in any way at all other than finding a good job.

Right now I'm reading "NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming" by Tom Dotz and Tom Hoobyar. Almost a quarter way throughout the book and I'm loving it so far. http://www.amazon.ca/NLP-Essential-Guide-Neuro-Linguistic-Programming/dp/0062083619 Leo has some videos on mindfulness, you should check them out.

I am grateful for the level of discipline that I have, even though I do tend to fall off sometimes on my positive habits. I am grateful for my appearance I am grateful for my home, even though I come from a lower-class background. I am grateful for my open-mindedness I am grateful for my health & fitness, even though I eat crappy fast food for cheap protein due to a strict budget. I am grateful for the level of psychological development that I'm at (Stage orange/green) And.. I could go on but it would be too long. Great thread post

Just a generalization but hotter girls seem to play harder to get than average girls. Alright I wanna try to keep it short. So there's this girl I'm into at work, as I just got hired at the place, I caught her eye. First few days of work, just constant eye contact and other indicators of interest, such as her touching my arm, etc. Then we finally exchanged a couple words on the 3rd day, then kept moving it forward from there. 2 weeks in, I finally ask for her number and suggesting that we should get to know each other. Called her the next day and she said she wasn't interested in anything and lied about having a boyfriend. We started texting after this, and I was accusing her of leading me on, but she was saying that she wasn't. So I had second thoughts that she actually is interested and continued to pursue. But when I saw her at work these couple of days, I just showed a ton of passive disinterest such as not making eye contact and ignoring her. She seemed to get frustrated and sad when I did this. Then I started talking to her a bit again and texting. Then I basically asked her out again by asking if she's off, she told me that she wasn't, when I knew she was. Days after this, I had a conversation with another co-worker which is her friend, and told her about my passion with psychology and self-help. Basically displaying high-value for myself, which she might've passed onto the girl that I'm into. Because from here on, the girl I'm into was showing more signs of interest, also tries to make me jealous by talking to other guys and looking at me. I then approached her at the end of work and got a lot of positive reactions from her, and she also seemed like she wanted to hang out because she was letting me know that she was off. But I didn't take the opportunity and just left home. After this, kept moving the interaction forward again. I also try making her jealous talking to other girls as well. We sometimes sort of act like we're boyfriend/girlfriend, annoying each other and everything. Then couple days before valentines, I stayed longer after I was off work, just to build some rapport and build up to asking her out again. In a positive tone of voice I asked her to be my valentine and she said "No sorry" in the same positive tone of voice with a smile. She was giving me positive reactions but rejected me. So this was the 3rd time she rejected me, and the situation now is that I'm ignoring her because I'm kind of tired of these games. And she does seem a bit down, now that I'm ignoring her again. I'm just 70% sure she likes me, but that's not enough for me to be sure enough to take the challenge and continue to pursue. Any advice? I don't know what I should do..

Actually, I don't know what i was thinking asking for advice on these forums. It's hard for you guys to realize every single detail of the situation through a small paragraph. Plus I don't know how much experience each of you guys have with women attraction. I pretty much study 'game' and I go out, approach girls in public and apply the info that I learn. And like I mentioned, hot girls seem to tend to play harder to get than average girls, this chick is an 8.5/10. They know game. She ain't makin' it easy if she's got other options. Anyways enough of that, but I'll go ahead and do as I feel, I'd say she's worth it to give up my abundance of being able to approach and meet any girl in public. Thanks anyways guys!

@Leo Gura What are your thoughts/experience on multi-level marketing? And thoughts on subliminal affirmation audios?

Everyone who has posted here has some really good points. I guess I could say that it does come down to the 21-day rule to build a habit and becoming passionate about it. I would consider myself a pretty disciplined person, but the habits that I do now took a ton of struggle at first before they became something that I do consistently. From what I remember, before I started consistently going to the gym, I was skipping class in highschool just to gym, I was only going 1-2 days a week. Then I found my passion in working out. Another habit that I will mention is that I go out consistently and approach women in malls, clubs, etc. At first it was really tough, sometimes I would literally sit around for hours and not even approach. It was like I was just a guy who would sit around enjoying nature, when my mission was to approach girls. But then I started going out and approaching with other guys, we would do 30-day challenges so that we could keep each other accountable, and that really helped us a lot. Today it's really easy for me to just go out there and approach any girl, doesn't take a huge push for me anymore.

No not at all. The news gives you an unrealistic neurotic viewpoint of the world. I used to follow a local twitter account which would tweet negative occurrences in my area, which gave me a very negative view of what my city is like. My mom watches the news a lot and she has become very neurotic and causes her to worrying about me and my siblings a whole lot. The news is totally pointless if it has nothing to do with you and your life. And why would anyone ever watch what's happening in another country? It has nothing to do with them, they're just feeding their minds with negativity.

Name: 7thLetter Age: 20 Gender: Male Location: Canada Occupation: Restaurant host Marital Status: Single Kids: No Hobbies: Bodybuilding, reading, meditation, picking up girls, personal development Back in high school, I always struggled with being super quiet and barely was able to make any friends. Also had a bunch of huge crushes on several girls but wasn't able to go up to them and have a conversation with them. So this made me take responsibility into my own hands and try and figure out what my problem is. I did a bunch of research and came up with the conclusion that I had Social Anxiety. I then did some more research to go and solve my problem. I started posting a lot on a Social Anxiety forum, and I also came across a Social Anxiety audio product that I completed. Even though I know now that I didn't even have Social Anxiety back then, (It was just my introvert behavior) the audio series was actually pretty helpful. It had techniques that would help me change the way I think, and change the way I think about different situations. It also had positive affirmations, so there were a lot of concepts that are introduced in other self-help products. So I then became more open-minded to other things that would help me improve my life. I looked into hypnosis, then EFT Tapping, and all other sorts of things while in highschool. Now I practice meditation, read, gym, and pick up girls. Personal challenges I've overcome: - Able to approach almost any girl in public, also leading to being able to make friends - Improved my personality/social skills. Used to be shy/socially awkward - A lot more confident in how I carry myself through body language and the way I speak - Improved my health & fitness - Reduced the amount of negative thinking that I had, by A LOT. - Higher level of emotional intelligence What I'm working on now: - Consistently working on improving my personality - Women attraction - Overall growth in any area of my life - Finding life purpose and then learning to start a business using it - Reading about NLP - Improving my Health & Fitness

20 years old, living in Canada, lower-class with my parents and siblings. Life at home isn't the best, hoping to move out soon but I'm stuck helping out my parents with rent. Working 2 part-time jobs, both customer service to improve my personality. One at a stadium and another as a restaurant host. Introvert, just working on myself as much as I can through any opportunity I can such as going to the gym, meditation, picking up girls, and personal development. Reading "NLP The Essential Guide" by Tom Hoobyar and Tom Dotz at the moment. Almost finished with Leo's life purpose course, then I plan to go to school for Entrepreneurship/Self-employment and start my own business.

Been smoking weed in highschool starting in grade 10 up until grade 12. In grade 12 I got suspended for 3 days for being in possession or marajuana. Worst day of highschool, they got a cop to come check out the situation, and my parents as well. After that, me and my friends stopped smoking weed as often, and we eventually stopped hanging out with each other. So it was really about the people who I was hanging out with that influenced me to smoke weed. I never really found weed as something addictive, I was always able to control myself most of the time. But an emotionally difficult moment like mine would help you quit. Find some sort of emotional leverage for your situation