kalter000

Music is just a music, artform, one of the multiple fields for self-expression. If you like these songs it's simply means, that you can relate to energy behind them, that's all. More than that, you can use this music for healthy release of negative emotions. Instead of accumulating them and becoming psychopath on killing spree, just go headbang and dance! I've heard much "worse" music and nothing has changed in my behavior.

@shouldnt it doesn't matter how you describe emotions, the most important thing is you paying attention to them while describing it.

@zasa joey Completely agree with you. Music was my psychotherapy for really long time. Nu metal, funeral doom, black metal - all provide me guidance into my deep emotional states for healing and acceptance. P.S: don't know what would I do without slipknot in my teenage years

@shouldnt nah, you have a great love-hate relationship, I won't spoil it. *Grabs popcorn*

Friendship exists. But the term "frendship" itself is quite muddy. Where is this boundary between "friendship" and "non-friendship"? This is a made up term. You can have sex and still be friends, you can have sex and hate each other, you can create deep connection without sex ( crazy shit, huh?). I think sex can't be reliable variable for measuring level of relationship, this is sorta it's own thing. There are a lot of desperate people out there, who see every person as potential sex partner. Of course in these circumstances it's hard to imagine, that you can just... relate to people, allow them being in your presence, not necessary put labels or oversexualise this whole thing. I was like that and I thought " What's the point in dealing with them, if I can't fuck them?" lol. Pretty low-conscious.

@Emerald Wilkins I think your advice is good, but a bit advanced for her current paradigm. @shouldnt My advice for now - stop resistance and fully sink into your situation, give up yourself to it. Drown till you hit a rock bottom and accept every emotions and feelings you have, live them. In the end you will realise, that in spite all of it "you" are still "you" and nothing really mattered. This psychological bottom will be healthy ground to build up yourself again, much more stronger. Learn being not that clingy towards misfotunes of life by accepting and releasing them. Psychological system you are operating right now is very dysfunctional, so it has to be destroyed and rebuild. This system causing all problems, including sleeping with guys you don't like and whom you want to punch in the face.

@Emerald Wilkins Your second paragraph perfectly describes my condition and my own blind spots. Looks like we are dealing with same neurosis, but in different clothes. I have this fear of not reaching "ultimate self-expression" (c), I had these brief moments, where I could be able to see my full potential and how powerfull I can be, but then my identity overlaps "me", making me fearful and neurotic. And this phase of stagnation pisses me off, making me want to commit sorta "spiritual suicide", let go of myself. Last time when it was powerful enough, I had a breakthrough and since then I started learning about spirituality. But still my barriers are strong and resistance draws out all the joy from my life. Hopefully we will sort something out =)

@Emerald Wilkins I can relate. Although it's not about me getting older, but not having sexual life I want. As a 22 years old male, It's hard to play high-consciousness being, when in my mind vaginas are popping out all the time. Do you have this feeling, that you are missing out something? I think you are suppressing your femininity and now you fear, when time will pass , that you will lose certain opportunities. What if you are fighting with wrong enemy? Maybe instead of denying need of being attractive and sexual you should embrace it? We can say, that you are associating your appearance with your self-worth too much or you put a lot of emphasis on being certain way- but would the same thoughts occur, if now you could express yourself with full power? It's the same as dying man feels sorry for wasted opportunities. Maybe ,as Ayla recommended, you should accept your drives and tendencies? Think about why your mind is holding you. P.S. sorry, if I misunderstood your problem.

I want to drive fast in my car and throw explosive spears at Tom Hardy, then spray chrome on my teeth and explode into Walhalla.

If you are still here I'm really interested to hear what's in your opinion real self-development and what resources one might need to grow and mature? And what self-help material is not idealistic?

@The Son You seem so angsty, are you okay?

After movie "limitless" I wish we had powerful nootropics... I think they are cool if used under careful prescription.

In this sort of situation I'm always honest, although it comes at a cost. But I don't care, at least I'm not wasting my and her time and often girls respect that. But will you cut this juicy source of validation? You can't expect this honesty from everyone. Perhaps you can learn how to sort this thing out, but it's easier to find another girl. ...or do push-pull and other retardation =)

@Sarah_Flagg It's quite trivial suggestion, but try Devid Deida books.His way of superior man was good, can help you understand better men's psychology. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/18455.David_Deida

@Lynnel Wasn't it always like that? =) We can't close every deal. I don't think people deliberately using you for validation, most of them don't even know what it means. Some people will have chemistry with you, but not enough to have sex or overcome cultural background. And it seems you are a little bit overly attached to results, don't you think? As if you don't enjoy interactions and get attention yourself.