Jonathan

@Guest Your wise instruction has helped me greatly. I'm glad I wondered into this thread.

@SkyPanther @Isle of View Simply jaw dropping! Both of you It reminds of an Alan Watts video I saw a few years ago. I've still only had glimpses into the state of consciousness of feeling that I am the whole universe.Nonetheless this video had evoked a curious fascination in me when I was younger. Quite a delightful video.

I watched Leo's video on Enlightenment and instantly knew that I had drop to everything and focus on Enlightenment. I've already spent the last 6 months doing 1-2 hours a day of meditation and/or self inquiry a day. After watching this video I felt like I was an extreme fool. I had been called out. I had been called stupid. Even with all the effort I had put in, I had been made to feel as an idiot wasting his time, and for me, this was enough. The last 4 days I have meditated 5-8 hours a day. I will do this until I'm enlightened. I have vowed it. Anywho, I'm curious what sacrifices have you guys made to spend the time necessary to sit and realize your existential nature. For me, I've given up everything. Drinking, weed, gaming, friends, family, and doing - at least this stuff seems like everything to me. I do know that these things will be here when I'm enlightened. These things will be here when I get back. What've you been through? What've you given up? What've you had to shed to really stick to this path? I appreciate all your responses in advance Thank you

@Mutupo Taken from you? I hope it wasn't too harsh a process Or if it was harsh, that you've come out better for it. Thanks for your reply! It's always refreshing to hear a little tid bit of someones journey n' process. I appreciate it

@Dodoster I live with my parents and don't work. I've got plenty of free time. If you read a little of what I wrote to Arik, you'll see why they're slightly sympathetic to me staying there. I might've not been as clear as I could've been in that post, but I'm sensitive to most scents one would use to cover up scents. Or scents used to make things smell better. Most (not all) cause me to become ill. Fortunately it's a bigger blessing than a curse. I may not be able to do 80% of what the average Joe likes to do(I'm quite limited in what I can do if I want to avoid symptoms appearing), but It's made it an easier decision to choose the path to enlightenment. Anyways, I never doubt that the day will come when my parents good grace will fade. I very well might have to live on the streets or find a wiser way to support myself. I doubt I'll be able to meditate as much when that occurs. (I kind of hope I'll be enlightened or at least somewhat close in the next few years. I'll give up meditation and pursue financial security and the normal stuff. I'll also try to figure out if I can ever fully recover from my sensitivities.) Right now though, I'm beaming like a ray of sunshine with how much meditation I'm doing. I think I'm getting semi close to figuring out this enlightenment thing. Or at least whatever I am, is close to cracking this case. (Maybe a hint of self deception, I could be decades from the truth lol.)

@Arik I've experienced something similar. I'd spend a lot of time bull shitting with friends, and my brothers. Smoking tons of weed and a pack a day. lol..We used to be a little more hardcore when we were teenagers (I'm 22 now) and dropped lots of acid and took a lot of esctacy. Would listen to Alan Watts all day and created a very strong spiritual ego in which I was a happy carefree hippy. After doing that for a long time I ended up over doing it one time. I was high as fuck on water fasting(all senses were on overdrive and quite heightened) and my friends wanted some chill company for drinking. I decided to stop my water fast with some vodka and it DESTROYED my body. I was so sick. All the heightened senses I had while on the water fast have never fully vanished. I become extremely sensitive to everything. Light, sound, smells, emotions yada yada.. I couldn't work anymore, I couldn't be around people with perfumes or deodorants on, I couldn't be around people with heavy emotions.(Even the slightest bit of annoyance or anger in someone would cause me to feel those emotions VERRRY strongly, and I decided to avoid people like the plague) Anyways, it's been 3 or so years since all that went down..I became a health nut and learned all about fruits and vegetables. In the last year or so I've become a lot less sensitive due to just being health conscious. Unfortunately I don't think my body will ever fully recover. Shampoos, deodorants, detergents, soaps, (the list goes on) all cause me to get a throbbing headache, sinus issues, throat can swell up, mouth n' eyes sting, and then the mental symptoms of inattention and inability to form sentences at a normal pace. All of this made me very suicidal, daily. Fortunately with some good luck I've listened to some wise folks talk about finding contentment in the despairing moments of life. Now I'm pretty hell bent on being drug free (even though I live in Colorado and weed is legal here.) and staying on a strict path of being. At least until I grow the "beingness" in myself to be strong enough that I can "be" when everything around me is chaotic. Hahaha, my apologies for the life story as I know it can be quite annoying when someone starts speaking about themselves in a lengthy manner. I just don't talk about it much and I was moved to say something today. Anyways, I can definitely still be an ass hat and an ignorant buffoon. I'll still speak more than I should, or be silent when I know I should speak. I figure all of this stuff will be worked out once awareness in me has realized itself. If it doesn't get worked out, maybe it shouldn't be I've already become quite the shape shifter and it's becoming easier and easier to wear the mask of acceptance, tolerance, unconditional love and appreciation. Somedays I don't put on as good a show and I'm an asshole. Fortunately I'm quick to admit my faults, and I apologize swiftly. Also, I understand your sentiment regarding raising your awareness and letting things fall away. Maybe like a tree would shed its leaves when the season changes. Raising of awareness being the change in season (: I've always been nearsighted so I'll probably fall back into various traps but something in me will find its way back. Anyways, I appreciate your reply man. Thanks!

@Henri Wow! Amazing! Sounds super special and highly enlightening. I'm excited thinking one day I'll meet such a person. Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it!

I'd like to spend one day with any enlightened being. I've never met anyone who was enlightened. I'm curious, is it usually a profound experience to be around an enlightened individual?

@SkyPanther It took me quite awhile to realize that EVERY thought is the ego. Every single thought no matter what vantage point, no matter what perspective, no matter how enlightening. All ego, all false self, all not Self. Very cool to see you point this out, a great reminder for many.

Finished up all the formal sitting for the day. The first 4 hours weren't very enjoyable. Though I know from experience that I'll usually experience extreme bouts of bliss and tranquility after unbearable sits. The 5th hour of sitting was quite enlightening. A few thoughts such as "How lucky I am to be on this path." and "It gets better than this?" would cross my mind. Accompanied with a strong celebrative joyous feeling in my chest. Sometimes the few hits of contentment, peace of mind and exuberance are all I need to stay vigilant during those grueling sits. We'll see what tomorrow holds.

Just start doing 1 hour sits. You'd be surprised how quickly you can acclimate to it.

@Falk Suffering = pain x resistance. If he's able to keep his resistance low, he won't have too bad a time.

I've been doing self inquiry for 4 or so months now and one thing that I hadn't really thought about arose in my mind today. Some days I focus REALLY intensely on the question "Who am I?" (To the point my head starts to hurt) and that seems to have brought about some eye opening experiences. Other days I'll do the Do Nothing technique whilst inquiring into what I am.(To the point where I'll be spacey and falling asleep) I'll just relax into the question and that seems to have an effect sometimes. So my question, are both ways a valid way to find my true nature? Thanks for your responses in advance!

Wonderful! Thanks for the reply Leo

The ability to be completely comfortable and relaxed with whatever is going on at any given moment. Yeah, fuck that!

Does anyone else experience these things while intensely focusing on the false self?(Buzzing, shaking, vibrating in the skull) Is this okay? Does anyone also feel head pain (I assume from eyes fixating towards the top of the head) whilst inquiring? Lastly, when the meditation starts to get quite intense and I've been meditating for an hour or so, I notice some sort of mental fatigue.(A kind of mental sluggishness, concentration might still be strong but it feels as if I'm forcing my mind to continue when it wants to stop.) Is this common? I hope this is concise and understandable and I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you very much!

I think I might be accidentally straining my eyes. I really appreciate the feedback from you guys and I'll try to focus on keeping my eyes even rather than upwards. Thanks again!

The complete annihilation of beliefs and the false self can be likened to being carried away by a river. You're being swept away and there's nothing to hold onto! Will you drown or learn to swim?

Good, bad? Useful, useless? Tips and/or warnings. Thanks folks

Thanks for all your replies, I'll just mix it up. Experiment and what not.

I understand that embracing paradox is heaps important on this path of self mastery and ultimate fulfillment. That being said, is it practical or counterproductive to inquire into the nature of consciousness while building the ego up via affirmations? My gut is telling me that it's okay to do. (although a little confusing, as your putting effort into building up the very thing we're disenchanting.) Another line of thought leads me to think that this could be counter productive. Either self inquiry is going to slow or null the effects of the affirmations or the other way around. What do you guys think?

@SaitamaThanks a lot Saitama, you've been helpful. Speaking of the benefits of doing enlightenment work while also self-actualizing, mind sharing some of these benefits? I'm curious

@Frankie Cobble some new stuff around my ego huh? I figure as long as I still sit down everyday and work myself into a frenzy of inquisitiveness and curiosity then it won't matter much. If the ego is seen through in the end (Does the ego actually weaken and then identification with it stops, or does awareness expand so much that even a strong sense of self would cease?) If I need a really weak sense of self to finally see through the illusion that'd be superb to know.