Max_V

Hi everyone! @Leo Gura @Tyler Robinson @Yarco @Thought Art @Spiral @Federico del pueblo @Realms of Wonder @integral @Roy @LordFall @NoSelfSelf Just want to report that I had that conversation with my girlfriend and it turned out to be one of the best talks we ever had. 2+ hours on the phone talking about our demons and being able to set boundaries and for me specifically: being able to strongly ask for what I want. That in and of itself is amazing, because not only am I training my ability to confidently and non-needily state what I want, she also apparently finds it really attractive when I do so . It really feels like I'm actively doing shadow work in this relationship; confronting those parts of my masculinity that I've suppressed, and now being able to slowly slip back into these roles like dislocated joints back into their respective socket. Thank y'all for the comments, great tips here. Max

@Tyler Robinson This still seems so odd to me. It seems so intuitive to me that you share your deepest struggles with the person you're closest with, even if that makes you look weak for a moment

Alienating a contingent of a fanbase due to inflammatory statements towards transgender people is hardly anything to admire someone for. Sure you can share your opinions, but the way she does so is immature.

I hope you're joking lol

@Leo Gura Why do you find using the cracker slur ok? I get that it might be different from the n-word, because the n-word has all the history behind it, but I feel like slurs in and of themselves are a moral bad, if you want a good and kind society.

Some men are lucky in that they are predisposed to learning social skills quickly and easily, for others it comes with a lot more difficulties. Your frustration is definitely understandable; though I'm not as crude as some of these guys you are talking about, I do actively feel frustrated with my social abilities and how much energy it costs me. I wish it all came easier to me, but alas I am the way I am and this is what I'm working with. I think the most important part is that you aim your frustration at those who choose to remain ignorant and crude as opposed to those who lack in skill but want and work to improve them. I hope you have better experiences in the future.

It was a fucking meme . _ .

For anyone curious, Destiny is talking to JP on stream this saturday at 18:30 CEST. I'm super excited!

@Leo Gura It's not a debate or anything like that. They're just having a conversation for 1 hour.

@Ulax I feel pretty certain, yes! If you asked the same question to me last year, I wouldn't feel as sure, but right now I feel like Destiny has come quite a way. Certainly still into the bloodsports thing, but I feel like his ability to allow different perspectives and have respectful conversations (not so focused on 'owning' people) has really improved a lot. I'm really looking forward to see how these two interact @Jannes If you want to chat with his community Destiny.gg is your best bet, if you want to casually watch on youtube then go to his youtube channel

@Danioover9000 Yes! 6:30pm CEST PEPE wins

there is much retardation in all the questioning of “does this lower consciousness”, “does that lower consciousness” a medium like anime or writing or music or whatever, can all have different levels of consciousness depending on the individual case. It is up to you to sense it and decide if you want to interface with it or not.

strongly agree with@OBEler For me not only the effect of increased self-esteem due to having an aesthetic physique, but also the --- i'd argue -- much more impactful concomitant benefits had a huge momentum-like effect on my life. It teaches you discipline and work-ethic, something many of us in our teens and twenties benefit from building; it gives you self-respect, you set a goal and work hard to achieve it; it has massive physiological benefits: increased mood, energy, cognitive clarity. There is more, but those are the most salient ones I can think of.

@UpperMaster Because like I said, there isn't any depth in that. It is something we as humans chase, a survival need to be liked by the tribe, but after 10+ years of doing that, you might realise it never ends and leaves you empty. It is unironically the rat on the wheel chasing the cheese in front meme. Intrinsic meaning is the most fulfillment you'll ever get out of your profession.

I think such reasons are not tenable to keep you working hard in the long run. Eventually the shallowness of it will dawn on you. Rather, ground your work-ethic in mastery; strive to be good at your purpose for it’s own sake and the good it will provide to yourself and the world.

@Leo Gura probably just a tricky thing to share 99% of people will misunderstand and instantly draw conclusions

I think the demonization of pure relaxation and play is a problem within self-development circles. Sure it comes from a deep place of not wanting to waste your potential, but I think these good intentions push to an extreme that counter-intuitively becomes unproductive and unhealthy. Pure relaxation should be the yin to the yang of hard work. They feed off each other. I do agree of course, that learning to enjoy something as relaxation like reading in place of other less conscious activities is mostly a good thing.

@LSD-Rumi jesus that is cursed

Of all the IQ tests and similar types of diagnostical tools I've used, what most often comes back for me as a bottleneck to other intellectual function, is my working memory. Due to this, my verbal IQ and performace IQ are quite far apart. Most psychologists I've spoken to have told me that the current data mostly holds that working memory is pretty static and there isn't much that suggests a possibility of improving it. Since this forum contains a lot of people that work in different sectors and expiriments a ton, I was wondering if any of you have suggestions as to what I could look at. Thanks

Awesome! I haven't read Kierkegaard yet, but have read people that were very influenced by him. My favourite is Albert Camus. His work helped me a lot through difficult times.

@Tyler Robinson Even if someone else behaves shitty, that doesn't mean you should let yourself fall to their level because they are doing it

@Carl-Richard mhh, I should give nofap a look. I've done it in the past, but perhaps limiting it a little more than I do now could be of some benefit But, I'm more so talking about medication. I might look into ADD medication, as I really relate to that video I posted on the first page. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid, but never took it seriously. Curious how those tests would look on the right medication, but then also what would I trade for it? decreased creativity, etc?

I feel ya Already doing my best maximize these. I do think though, that there is some link I should explore with that whole dopamine deficiency idea. It's just a hunch, but I feel like it could be a good direction to look. Do you have any ideas about that?

@Carl-Richard This whole thread is now going into the direction of what is this what is that lol I just wanna know if anyone has data on working memory and potential things to increase its performance. At my latest IQ test I got 130 for verbal IQ and ~105 for performance IQ. The main consensus was that the huge discrepancy is caused by my slightly below average working memory. If I can fix this, my life will become 100 times easier

@AtheisticNonduality I see. Well the problem is, I cannot use any of my greater verbal skills well if I don't have the working memory to hold it