Max_V

Team Fortress 2 is in my opinion one of, if not the, best multiplayer game ever made. It is terrible to see what the state of game has become. Uncletopia is fun to play, but it is ridiculous that you're required to join community servers to have a normal playing experience. I really hope Valve does something, but who knows if that'll happen. Whatever happens, I will never stop putting dispensers down.

This is a memorial page for the late member @Shroomdoctor. If you have any nice words or stories about Marco, please feel free to post them here. I love you so much Marco, what a great ride it was. I learned so much from you and will never forget the moments we shared. I will work a little extra hard to make up for the dreams you were not able to follow. Godspeed.

@Leo Gura Over the years his mental health worsened and he was in and out of mental-hospitals, which he often entered of his own volition. In the end, during what is assumed to be a psychotic episode, he left the hospital and died. Whether it was suicide or an accident is uncertain.

This sky Marco sent me the day that he died. We had not spoken in a long time, but this he left for me. It was unendingly beautiful in person, utterly mesmerizing. Godspeed on your journey brother. Wherever you are now, I know you will be cheering me on, as you always have. Such a motivating and positive force you were. If only we had a little more time to see all the dreams and visions within you become manifest.

Hello everyone, A while ago a good friend of mine died, he was a long time member of this forum: @Shroomdoctor. I had doubts as to whether I wanted to share this with the forum, but in the end I decided he might have liked it, as we shared a lot of beautiful moments through this forum and first met each other here. Perhaps some old faces here might recognize him, we both created our accounts around the same time in 2017. Anyway, I thought it nice to create a memorial thread in the Journal category (an idea provided by @Carl-Richard, thank you!) If anyone here wants to leave a nice message or story they have about Marco, that thread is where you should do it. I decided to post a thread on the Personal Development category too since it is more visibile, but I will lock it since it has not much bearing on the subject of the category itself. All the best, Max

@Carl-Richard How often do you do Dual N Back, or what is like you schedule like? My working memory is what I score lowest at in my tests, think it would improve my whole IQ profile if I managed to get stronger in that.

Hello! Quite suddenly and for a couple of months now I have been unable to ingest any sort of food or drink that increases stomach acid. Especially coffee hurts my stomach so much now, it delibitates me for the entire day if I drink just one cup. A lot of heartburn, bloating and gas, brain fog, all from that one cup. So much so that I had to take sick days whenever I did drink some. I've been to the doctor and done some tests and got prescribed omeprazol, to help lessen stomach acid and give my stomach some time to heal, but it is almost coming up to one month of taking it and I still cannot digest coffee, cacao, or even black tea at all anymore. For my work -- I write -- coffee is one of the things that really helps me get my creative juices flowing, just one cup alone, and it visibly impacts the quality of my work whenever I am unable to drink it. Cigarette smoking had the same effect for me back in the day, but I was able to kick that habit. I need to at least be able to get this back again. I'm here to ask if anyone might have advice or tips or to help me get my digestive system back to normal, so I could at least drink one cup of coffee at the start of my day again before I start writing. I really respect your opion, and I'm curious as to what you might think too @Michael569 Anyway, all the best.

@Jannes I love that quote. Glad I was able to help you find it again

If you really want to know, get one administered by a licenced psychometrist and even then take the results with a grain of salt. Don't trust these stupid online tests, they might hint at some truth or something you are specifically stronger or less stronger at but they don't give a full accurate picture. But if I were you, I wouldn't take a test at all and forget about the notion of scoring your intelligence in some way all together. What matters is chasing after what you want in life and doing all you can to get there. Having thoughts like "I only have this amount of IQ so that means I probably cannot do this or achieve this" will only limit you. Give your intelligence the opportunity to surpise you. All the best.

Going to enjoy my hurting ego as I listen this week, thank you!

Rest assured, my stomach is healing boys. Today I drank coffee again for the first time without pain and just some slight burning. The PPI-therapy + Gluten-free diet seems to have done the trick. Every day its getting better. Thanks for all the help and suggestions!

Whenever I write, I can only do it for so long. After a while, this pressure I feel while creating becomes too overwhelming and I have to take a break. I want to work more, but I don't quite know how to deal with this pressure. The whole project overwhelms me and I feel this immense responsibility to do those God-given ideas I have been granted justice. To disappoint the ideas and not translate their full potential onto my medium feels like one of the most terrible things in the world. I know I have a long way to go to become the writer I can be and that's what makes it so difficult now. I can see the potential, but the discrepancy between that place and where I am now really troubles me. The ideas are so clear and beautiful in my mind, but the tools I have right now are not sufficient to fully express their splendour. I was wondering if there are other people here that have come across similar problems on their journey and might be able to help me with offering some advice or thoughts on the matter. All the best, Max

Awesome to see David Lynch on Leo’s blog. I’ve been a fan of his work for a long time and highly recommend it to anyone that likes deeply layered cinema with very spiritual roots. Twin Peaks has got to be one of the most amazing things I have ever watched and has highly influenced my own artworks, thinking and how I perceive the world. Hope I can give someone else here the joy of discovering his stuff for the first time. All the best.

I had my stool tested and blood taken. Seems like there's no ulcer or gastritis. The doctor diagnosed me with a stomach that overproduces acid which might have caused small wounds in my stomach that get reinflamed everytime I do get excess acid. The omeprazol should have taken care of that and given it time to heal, but I suppose something is still wrong. In about 6 days when my month of taking the medicine is over I will contact my doctor again to discuss what we should do next. Thanks for you guys' thoughts and advice. Also, I will try the caffeine capsules to see if that helps with my work in the meantime and cut out bread/other gluten to see what effect that might have. @Michael569 @Grateful Dead @LSD-Rumi @undeather @undeather @UnbornTao @ryandesreu @mmKay @Rishabh R @Leo Gura @Grateful Dead

@Grateful Dead Interesting! How do you figure that? I’ve always done really well on bread, it is what I was raised on. But it is valuable data that around the same time when I started eating more bread, was when this problem arose. I have no gluten intolerance though, got it tested.

I recently got into David Lynch and his projects. His works are so incredibly beautiful and deep in their meaning and wisdom. I would peg him at stage turqoise and am curious as to what you guys' thoughts are. All the best.

This is one of my most favorite books of all time. Was a big factor in me climbing out of the pit of nihilism and actively choosing who I want to be in this life. Pursuing things like Goodness, Love, Truth, it all taught me that, and how to reconnect to my inner guiding voice.

I think I talked and asked about this before, but this time I want to make it a discussion instead of necessicarily a specific personal question. In a man-woman relationship, as a man, should you be vunerable with your partner? I know on a forum like this where emotional maturity and spirituality is idealized, the obvious answer would be: yes, obviously. But I'm getting a lot of conflicting information. So much stories of guys who opened up to their girlfriend about something that they are struggling with and found that as a result the girl started losing attraction and interest. I really want to know the truth of the matter, the workings of girls, masculinity and femininity, how relationships and their dynamics really work. What are you guys' thoughts on this? Also, I am primarily talking about long term relationships where a connection already has been established.

I'm so curious though, why is this? @Ulax Personally, this can be different for others of course, I want a relationship where you grow by being together. Sharing weaknesses and aiding each other in overcoming them is part of that. That exactly has been my way of thinking as well, but the thought arises: is that going against 'nature'? If a girl loses interest when a man is vulnerable, could that simply be how man-women dynamics objectively work?

@Lyubov Crying, showing weakness, talking about something you're really struggling with, needing her love, etc.

Important message! All my life I've looked towards others to provide me with validation and affection and though my subconscious still works that way, it feels so incredibly good to start to feel content with myself.

Happy new year everyone! Praying for everyone’s wellbeing and happiness this year.

@Guru Peter Jordanson One can appreciate the meaninglessness and arbitrariness of celebrations while at the same time enjoy and partake in them.

It is about your choice to how you want to live your life. It is purported that to have a grand purpose that you work towards every day, one that matters a great deal to YOU, will bring you immense amounts of joy. Now if you want to live a life of great joy, I can only suggest that this is an avenue that you check out.

@Tyler Robinson Hey! unrelated to this topic, but I really like your signature. I’m in a new relationship (6 months or so) and it’s not easy to not over idealize or always want things to evolve and get deeper. Sometimes we need to recognize how already awesome this moment is.