Juan

The video that started it all, my spiritual journey, my first Leo video, def check it out.

@Leo Gura Very straight answer of yours. Yes but for real I think is tricky depending the person, I even remember one time a guy asked me at the beach if I wanted to kiss him and I answered him no with a straight face haha, telling him I was straight back then, I laugh now and regret it a bit for not had done it with the understanding I have now.

Interesting answer Yeah, I just wanted to see others people of concluding their answers, some people haven’t even question themselves this and it could be affecting negatively their actual relationships and life (at least that was my case with my firsts girlfriends).

This is a good point, if not you wouldn’t be complaining about it, it’s like: “oh yeah?! you don’t want to text me back?! Well imma tell you or do this!”, is not necessary nor attractive, you move on. I learned from the book “The 4 Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, whatever somebody said or do to you, is not really about you persé but rather how they see you trough their “screen smoke mirror” or their perception, so I move on if they don’t text and respect it, it’s like asking forcefully for attention. P.S. If you’re a creative person, you’d be amazed by how some of these people text you back once they see you creating cool stuff.

Why so focused on teaching a gf or female? Is it mandatory? The last thing I want out of a relationship it is my partner wanting me to believe her/his stuff, want me/force me to believe of what she/he says and talk spirituality 24/7, it’s gets old quick when there is so much other stuff to talk about. And if you want to teach, it would become a student, not a girlfriend.

Yes, as someone who dealt with it years ago, I’ve become aware of how silly it is actually but when you’re in that state of mind it doesn’t feel that way, it feels as tangible as touching yourself right now. My insight about it coming out of it is that you will have to do some deep deep reprograming because those thoughts are sometimes beyond our control, not even doing daily affirmations helps depending how hard wired is your brain right now, so you have to somehow “allow the light penetrate into you, like when the sun hits the flowers, so you can see through the illusion”, I quote it because it’s the poetic way I see it now. You’ll have to find practices and methods that allows your mind first to calm down, allow whatever trauma you have to release, is ok if it looks even like a exorcism lol, been there, and by the end of the storm, the sun will comeback at you and you are gonna be more conscious now. Now what causes suicidal thoughts that is gonna vary for each person. It could be a trauma from childhood, it could be because of a consumption of a drug and it programmed your mind to be negative about life, etc. And very important have FAITH that healing is possible and PATIENCE, take it easy on you, you’re doing your best even if it doesn’t feel that way right now, each solution(s) is vary for everyone.

Fly for 2024 let’s fkn gooo!

@Water by the River You’re very informative, I like that, thanks for your input.

Never forget

@Water by the River there is a HUGE difference about depersonalization/derealization in spirituality and mental illness. Speaking from experience that I had to live in that hell on 2019 and had to start working with ayahuasca in order to get better and get actual awakenings. As a mental illness it’s hard to sustain yourself, you can’t fit into society easily, as a spirituality you’re more “normal” and can still function to keep going with your life.

@Inliytened1 Here is a more nuanced examples of depersonalization & derealization, from experience: Disconnected from yourself and environment (literally, you can feel in your bones) We could have a conversation and my mind is elsewhere and this is beyond my control (not even meditation or yoga helps) Emotionally disconnected Visually (this is hard to explain if you haven’t experimented changing your state of consciousness), things look doll, fake, like you feel so separate from everything, hard to explain if you’re emotionally stable now Hard to sleep Sure when you’re in this state of mind you can also get depress and I loosed some hair People will see something is wrong with you, they are even afraid of you at times Mental disturbance (incoherent thoughts) Ungrounded, you even feel uncomfortable touching grass Hard to look at people faces (cuz you know something is not ok with you), this is connected to feeling shame And the list goes on…

It wasn’t depression at all bro. It got to the point that I even had to go to a psychologist and got indeed diagnosed back then to my, “my” (however you want to phrase it) condition. It doesn’t need to have suicidal tendencies but like Leo mentioned it has many qualities, degrees, etc. And yes it is a full dissociation from the self, now the degree that I’m talking about here, it was beyond of not being capable to even sustain myself.

You have zero clue of what depersonalization is. I could even write a book of how horrendous it is to be in that state of mind to the point of suicide, you don’t want to be there, everything feels so doll and fake. Separation with everything escalated to who knows what percentage, you could become even antisocial for how much disconnected you are with yourself and the world, you have a big ass victim mentality, physically you are here but mentally you are elsewhere, is not a pretty place, it’s hell, not identical at all to awakening or God Realization. One thing is to experience this in order to awake, another thing is being on that state 24/7 for months and years.

Maybe you’ll like this guy story @Leo Gura. How a accident could open you up to a new state of consciousness and way to see the world.

These guys create some hard af to pull off music videos, it requires A LOT of creativity imo.

It was but you don’t want to accept it.

Denial cuz what I said is relevant and you said it wasn’t.

Indeed, it’s what I tend to share first to newcomers because it’s more digestible at first compared to the 3+ hours complete ones. Yet…

I was talking about this today with a friend and I friking love it, at least the way they cook it where I buy it on doordash, is just a sushi but not rolled and in a bowl.

You got this.

Why are you assuming that I’m assuming about you being in denial? We are clearly talking about what we started to have a conversation on this thread, if it isn’t relevant to you, that’s fine.

It’s so relevant that you’re even denial about it.

Meditation for me, cuz ideas come from nowhere and everywhere all at once. I’ll add a follow up answer with microdose, I’ve been experimenting with mushroom blend and it keeps me still moving between people instead of big doses where I need to be more alone, which could be better at times too.

Not always