zazed

During my meditation today, which lasted 40m there was something weird. I was seeing a story playing out, with people i never met, it was very bizarre. The story faded in and out, whenever i became aware of self again the story went for a few moments. I cannot remember it now , but i remember it like i remember a dream a few hours after waking up. I was aware of the dream, but not aware of me as myself during the mental story. My meditation session also felt like only 10minutes, i was surprised when my alarm went of. A few weeks ago 40m was a struggle Any thoughts, similar experiences, i probably just fell asleep?

A negative belief like, 'this is all unnecessary', or 'enlightenment is not real'. Is not the same as not believing. It is believing it cannot be so, this is very destructive to the journey. In this way not believing is better, and closer to having no self. Consciousness is just perceiving everything, thoughts included, it has no choice in what happens in this reality. My view is that this body and brain make perceived choices, in this seeming reality, but to consciousness that is of equal value as the choices your dog makes. But yeah, there is nothing to believe really. You do not need faith or belief to be present, you just need to be present. You don't even need to stop thinking.

At times i can also be more direct and internally shout "shut up you idiot, you know nothing". Because there is no need for beliefs, when just being present, and beliefs are just thoughts, they are not important anyway.

@Shin My trick is realizing i already experienced "i am not the mind". I can perceive these thoughts, so i must not be the thoughts. And that if i look deeply, i am just that which perceives. I supplement this trick, by realizing it also does not matter if it is a trick or not. And i really do not need to take anything the mind says for granted. The fact that i can do this, again affirms what i'm doing. Many spiritual teachers, often answer a question with a variation of "who is it that is doing/thinking ...". Self inquiry is a powerful tool. If shit really hits the fan, i watch Mooji, Paul, Rupert, ... to inspire my mind again, to continue.

None of the above. Put your awareness on the mind, intensely perceive what it is doing. Without judging, without it wanting to diminish. Just perceive it, put the burning light of your consciousness on it. It will diminish the thoughts in the end, but whatever you do, have no desire about your thoughts going away, don't battle yourself. It's a very fine line, almost like a trick, once you get it it is easier. Self inquiry may also help, if they are especially troubling you, ask yourself, who is thinking these thoughts? Where do they come from? Are they me?

@SOUL there is only consciousness, and it is everything. It has no preference, it has everything equally. I am this and i am non dual. still most of it hovers around this specific perspective. this action figure as Paul Hedderman call's it. Its not me, but it's something right? what would you say it is? and how would you advise the action figure to live, how does your action figure work? what does yours do?

If there is no self, there is no one is feel greed, need, fear, hate, aggression, desire. most morality issues stem from choosing self over others. But consciousness is just awareness, it cannot gain anything, it cannot lose anything, it doesn't exist in the past nor the future, it is only here now. consciousness is aware of everything, including everyone around you, it has no preference. If the body feels love, there is love everywhere within me. It doesn't mean anything, but I'm conscious that the body enjoys it very much!

@Shin Very nice, i think you are well on track, and i recognize some of this mind thinking. I think you are enlightened as long as you are aware of the thoughts. what is the hard part is keeping it up through some effort, which is in fact training the mind to not self identify all the time, and training it to stay in the present. The fact that this is even possible as a process, means you are aware, and thus consciousnesses. It doesn't mean you automatically walk around in 24/7 bliss, but it will in the end. Through longer and longer states of perfect mindfulness, the human mind gets used to it, in the end it will become a natural state. But the fact it's possible to work this, means enlightenment has already happened, because it takes awareness to be aware of your thoughts as a separate thing. which most of us can do quite easy. What do most people do, when they reach enlightenment, which everyone who has read about it reached instantly. They reach it, because by telling them to watch their thoughts, they are aware at that moment, watching the thoughts. Well most people expect all their worries to instantly vanish when reaching enlightenment, so they ignore the enormous significance of this event. They do not realize, that they can try to watch their thoughts 24/7. And if they do, after a lot of trying and failing, they can be enlightened 24/7. So they meditate perhaps 30m in the weekend, and go on with their normal life regardless, identifying with all its problems and letting self thoughts run free all day. This one tries to practice mindfulness all day, as much as it can, and the gaps where i completely self identify without any awareness are narrowing. my thoughts are dissipating, I rarely worry about past or future, but strangely I get these musings from further in the past. Everything is just experience, so if i really think about it as this person, i would say it's cleaning up my negative thought processes through lack of self-identifying all day. So memories are now just harmless musings of the past, instead of shames or regrets. And the same for ventures in the future, more and more just wondrous stories instead of fears and doubts. This is not necessary for me as consciousness, whatever happens, good or bad, i will be aware of it. I can not not be aware of it, it's what i am. But as a brain i suppose having this body in a more relaxed state might be a better experience for it to be aware of? If not, it will be healthy for the body at least, and more relaxing for me.

@Barna Thank you for the video, i enjoyed it

It's being moved by the enormous possibility of us. Myself i burst out in laughter often when watching particular insightful teachers/moments. It is best not to expect anything, or to try to interpret any experience. It can lead to nothing. The thing trying to understand is the human brain, and the human brain cannot become enlightened anyway. You already are enlightened. You cry because the body did so, because the brain was moved by some interpretation, it was reality then. Your true self just experienced it, it didn't mean much to it, nothing really does. There is no need to understand anything. And if you are tired of reading and learning, then you are closest to realizing enlightenment. Because you stop the searching and are easier able to just exist. Most people are doing to much, doing less is better. Mindfulness and/or self inquiry, 24/7, is what you should try to keep up all the time. Being mindful is close to being enlightened, because what is mindful, is consciousness. Consciousness is always there, by being mindful you become aware of the watcher. It's easier to understand what you are not. Sight, smell, thought, emotion, voice, hearing, body sensations. Basically everything you are aware of, you are not. You are that which is aware of everything, except itself. By being aware that everything you are aware of is not you, you can be aware of your true self, and become enlightened. Perhaps you already are enlightened, but are waiting for some epiphany? Personally, i think enlightenment is rather bland. It's just 24/7 awareness, uninterrupted identifying with consciousness on a deep level. But its not something miraculous, you could even miss it. Tho, that is just my perspective, perhaps i am just seeing a little part of it, and have much growing to do.

One does not pee, the peeing has us...

@Shin the body experience happens in consciousness. when you feel something, don't do anything, not accept, not reject, just be awareness and be conscious of where it goes. consciousness is conscious and aware always, it is conscious of reality, which the body and brain and senses are just a part of. any experience in this reality consciousness can perceive, but not interact with. @Shin that ghost may be consciousness, which is what you really are

@Shin fascinating. Thanks for sharing. who is it that is afraid, and who is it that would die, and who is it that hears the question? these are not all the same who...

I agree. We already are enlightened. Still many people have lots of mental self-identifying going on, and are just shy of suicide quite often. Being able to just live and enjoy the party is what enlightenment is. Regretting the past, fearing the future, or wanting to go to the future for escape of the now, are all signs enlightenment has not yet happened. Most people cannot so quickly let go. If you live life as simple and joyful as you claim, i would say you already are "enlightened"

Be sure to do self-inquiry at the same time. Who is this who's face is burning off, who is feeling this intense burning pain. You will realize you are that which is aware of the burning, and you will die an enlightened Buddha.

You have just convinced yourself you are. You never were this, it's the illusion. Next time you think something you don't agree with, feel free to say : "fuck it you old bastard, i'm not listening to you anymore!" And then ask yourself "Who said fuck it to whom now, and which one is really me?", and no answer you will find... (I tried hard to use explicit language too, did i succeed?)

Do it from when you wake up, until you go to sleep. I'll get distracted, but i always try to do self inquiry, 24/7. If i'm not talking, and not doing something that requires full attention, i'm doing mindfulness basically. Driving the car, cooking, walking, waiting, listening to people, being bored. I drive my car without music or any distractions now, to practice mindfulness. Even when re-reading my posts here, i practice self-inquiry and/or mindfulness. The mind seemingly has 2 modus operandi during a day: 1. Doing something active, usually the mind is quiet or so focused on the task, that there are no garbage thoughts. -> For example, i'm learning a musical instrument, and i'll think nothing while practicing, it takes my full awareness. -> many types of 2 can happen between the focused moments (taking a break, or when getting frustrated) 2. Doing something inactive, like driving/cooking. That's where the mind of most, goes off into stories about past/future, to "entertain" itself. -> it's easy to practice mindfulness here, and also most rewarding. These "empty" moments are the most poisonous to one's being, because they tend to fill up your mind with the most destructive thoughts, if your not mindful. In fact, i meditate or do real "work" very rarely, aside from reading and watching YouTube (hours daily) What is the purpose of meditating 7 hours a day, when once you step in the car you're frustrated, shouting at traffic, and constantly worrying about next week? I meditated maybe 3 hours this month so far, and i have made great progress nonetheless. Because i pay attention to it all day, my mind is quieting down greatly.

This is normal. Be aware of your thoughts wandering, do not identify them, do not force them away, let them be. They will diminish on their own. First you must come to a realization what your thoughts are, and how they are not you, because you are watching them. Self inquiry, or study of the mind, is what mindfulness should be. I can highly recommend the video @Dodoster linked

It's the illusion of personality. It is something indeed, but it is not you. Thought processes create more thought processes, memories color thoughts, this is what appears to be us, what appears to be a personality. We think, therefor we are, is the illusion here. You can use it to predict others behaviors, and it defines how you react in most situations, if you are unaware. If you are convinced these thoughts and ideas have merit and meaning, and they are yours, you will get in all sorts of trouble. You will want to defend them, you are hurt if they are wrong. You also create your current behavior based on your past behavior. A powerful force is the expectancy of others in how you are going to respond. In this way they have power over you and you behave according to their expectations, within a certain paradigm of memories you have of yourself. Have you ever noticed, how on vacation you can behave quite differently with total strangers? It's because you lost a big part of your self(people who know you) on vacation, there is less expectation to conform to what others would expect of you. Some things are harder to let go than others, i am introverted, but it's a preference of this brain/body, and i am not shy(which is a fear), just introverted by choice. Many people may think me quite extroverted in social interaction, and i can enjoy it, but i like my solitude given the choice. This is not how i started out, i was very much afraid to be social, tho i did not admit this to myself then. But it's not really a core anything, it is an amalgam of various things happening. It appears as personality, and yes, even masters still have it. These masters were born in a culture which shaped them. You see this in the clothes they choose to wear for example. But i would think if you spend a longer time with them, their personality would either be strange and fluid, unable to pinpoint, or very peaceful, open and unclinging. So what we truly are is what is watching those thoughts, if you look closely, you will realize that there is something that is aware of the thoughts, something that never speaks, but sees it all, silently. That is you, and the "watcher" can dismiss thoughts as unimportant, if it is aware enough. Or ask yourself, "who is it that is perceiving these thoughts about myself?" Or go further and ask yourself "Is that me, this thought?" when something troublesome appears in your thoughts. And you can do what Leo calls going meta, and ask "Is that me, asking; is that me, this thought?". This will bring you in a strange mental questioning loop, which will make you start questioning "what exactly are thoughts?" and "What exactly is me here, where is it?". Or just stop thinking entirely, when the looped questioning becomes boring, then you end up just being, without any desire to do the next thing, or thoughts about the previous thing, just full & empty being. If you do this in a social situation, when someone is talking, you are no longer an introvert, you forget you exist even. There is no you to be quiet, you don't think before you speak, and you don't really care about reactions, positive or negative, because they float away in time.

@Martin123 I love that pic, where did you find it, what school/teachings/teacher is it from?

what is the ego but memories of the past haunting our thoughts? I experienced it then, so it must be so. Who!? being was being in the past?

i think it means there may be one experience, but it's so unexplainable that it is explained in various ways because each brain/body explaining it, is explaining it from it's limited perspective.

We are consciousness, just being aware of all these thoughts. When we think we are our thoughts, we have a seemingly fixed personality. But its just random thoughts, you don't have to identify with them, nor agree with them, nor act upon what they are telling you.

@Dodoster procrastinating is where i do my best work

I'm not sure about it. I also don't think it is required to have a belief about it. Perhaps my brain/body would be comforted having some certainty it exists. But if trying to embrace no-self, or being, then what is the purpose of comforting the self. So i'll just let my brain/body fear death, and i'll wander of without it.