zazed

It has no real answer. This one seems to have many answers or contemplations especially. A Koan is something to think about, to loosen your mind. Like a logical virus for your brain, as they use in some movies to destroy an evil AI computer One might look at it like this: If the well is enlightenment, and the open eyed man is the seeker. Then enlightenment is as effortless as falling into a well, and you might say, it didn't even require the man to be open-eyed to fall in. One can elaborate: The well was always there, and the man was not looking for something else. So enlightenment is finding that which you are NOT looking for, and falling in. Perhaps, if he was looking harder, he would have seen the well, and not fall into enlightenment at all! But then i am just reformulating my limited knowledge on non-duality to match the Koan, which is meaningless really. It is an answer that satisfies the mind, as @cetus56 warned about.

I've suffered from it a lot (2h sleep, no matter how tired I got). Insomnia is immensely and horribly boring, so boring that you are happy when you can finally get out of bed in the morning and start your day. Meditation helps somewhat, to make it more bearable. I do not know or think it helped me in any way. Recently, learning about non-duality, acceptance, and not identifying with my thoughts all the time, seems to have solved it somewhat.

I'm a big fan of Paul. He cuts straight to it in a no-bullshit abstract way. If i'm not mistaken, i think you originally even pointed me to his video's a couple months ago, on which i defended my meditation practices (which Paul seemed to belittle at first). Many thanks for sharing this treasure.

I have been reading it, it is good yes Stoicism is fascinating, Leo also recommended this book in some video.

I would say to a dude friend like so : "Look, your a good friend and i love you, but i'm really not interested in Christianity anymore. I respect your faith and wouldn't force my beliefs upon you, unless you're interested. In the same way i would appreciated it if you respected my faith and did not try to force Christianity on me. Can we just not talk about this stuff anymore, and just have some fun with other stuff/topics." If that wouldn't work, i would just ignore the dude and stop contacting him. Because a person who cannot respect my choices and who i am, is not really a friend after all. Mind you, it also depends on you: Sometimes i will go into a philosophical discussion with people, that can become quite heated. At this point the discussion is the end-game here, and there is no conversion going on, its just a mental exercise for fun for both parties. This is ok, because both parties consented to this discussion between faiths. It's not ok if its forced upon you and it's disturbing your happiness.

Mushrooms are rather soft and a good entry point. I was not blown away by my shroom experience, and they taste really horrible and disgusting. On shrooms, I was mentally myself, but i saw stuff in my vision melt, like crystal clear as if it was real. It was strange, but there was no drunkenness or highness as with other drugs. I could read fine, i was visiting a forum then and replying to some post, but the text was melting down the screen as i read it. The visions didn't mean anything to me, it was just mildly entertaining, and i could still read the melting text as it was going down. It was a totally mundane forum post, nothing spiritual, and it was to the point for those reading it, nothing strange to it. Some things were very exaggerated, there was this dude eating near me, and it was disgusting. The guy grew in size and became monstrous, the smell of his pasta was disgusting and overpowering everything, and the sound of his smacking and swallowing was like a music concert so loud. It was the most disgusting thing i ever experienced, so i put on some mp3 music and closed my eyes for a while. I knew it was exaggerated by the drug, but it was so real, like sober-real, the grotesqueness of his eating, it made me sick to my stomach until i had some music (goa music works well for psychedelics). I had fractals, like the images you see about psychedelics on the internet. when i closed my eyes and listened to music, mostly following the sound of the music. But i can have that when sober to, like when meditating, so it was not so surprising. For me, i remembered mostly that for me mushrooms have almost zero impact on my thinking. It's like i'm still me, but stuff around isn't as i'm used to. Weed or alcohol alter my senses and thoughts in various ways. But with mushrooms, I just see and hear stuff, like it is really there, and i'm fully sober and normally thinking and in control. I did not do lots of it, nor did i try LSD or DMT, so it may be that my dose was just very low, i'm not an experienced psychonaut. I'd say try it, its not so intense, try a low dose, see how it feels. On the other hand, i do not believe psychedelics really give spiritual insight. It's more just entertaining sounds/visions. Perhaps stronger doses, or doing it in a spiritual setting can make a difference there, i never tried that, it was in my college years long ago. If you can do it with a trusted friend, do that. Do NOT do it with a lot of people around, or with people you don't trust, it will be too distracting. Make sure you are relaxed and not stressed. Because I once had a bad trip on LSA, were i was certain my heart stopped beating, because i couldn't feel it anymore, so i panicked, thinking i was dying and was not feeling so well all night. In the morning i felt like a million bucks tho, but probably because i survived my imagined death

The ego is just thought, especially disturbing thoughts, that you think are your identity. thought or ego is just a part of you. like your hand, or your feet. If you cut of your feet, you don't cease to exist, so you are not your feet. For the ego it's the same, but you can't really physically cut of your ego thoughts, so it's harder to realize this. Thought fighting thought is what OP warned about. If you think yourself around your thoughts, like battling some negative thought with positive affirmations. Then you are reinforcing the ego, as OP said: If you do this, then you are creating a story within yourself, that your imagined self is an observer. There actually is an observer, but it will never think a single thought. So your ego tells a story, the story it is actually the observer. This may bring the illusion of spiritual bliss even, and can greatly boost confidence, but it is a lie that will sooner or later break. This is why thought should never battle with mind. Unwelcome thought is irrelevant, it requires no address, it just is.

In the Netherlands, mushrooms can be bought in smart shops I believe. Online but also in brick and mortar stores. So there must be a large sample pool there at least (and neighboring countries, drug tourism ftw), and i've never heard much problems about it... Bringing weaponry to a mushroom trip is unwise, and unnecessary. It should be done in a safe location with trusted friends. I could imagine shooting myself doing the same, not because wanting to kill someone. But because a trigger is easily pulled, and i could get playful with all sorts of objects during a trip. Can imagine holding the gun, looking into the barrel, fingering the trigger, feeling the cold metal, out of pure fascination, not knowing it is a weapon even. It's probably better to do LSD or DMT, cause shrooms are disgusting, the most disgusting thing i've ever tasted in my life. And they upset my stomach. People assume intent, i didn't watch any videos... But it might be a dreadful accident on the guys side too, just plain stupidity of bringing a gun. Perhaps he wanted to shoot his love towards her, not fully realizing what he was doing really. Poor girl, my heart goes out to her family, this is a deeply sad story.

If the person is really enlightened, then he knows the ego never existed to begin with. The ego is the illusion of thought cycles looping constantly, and so creating an imagined self. Realizing this fully, the enlightened man doesn't even register the praise. The enlightened man is enlightened, because that is the only thing he can be. He has no desire for enlightenment, no reason for it. It just is, as life just is. Being is being, it never had an ego to begin with. The illusion that is ego, are no more than the thoughts that make up an imagined self, and all unenlightened people self-identify with that "construct". What most people think of as "me", or "I", isn't real. It's a biological machine, constantly generating random thoughts and opinions, and we think this is what we are. And what we truly are, has no human identity. Most people actually want their ego to become enlightened, but it can never be, because its not a "self". It's not an enemy to battle either, these are just thoughts our true self is are aware of. For me, this is also the "dark night of the soul". It's not so much a battle, but it is the dreaded acceptance of the realization that what most people call I, does not exist as a person, that this identity we've come to love and defend, is not a real "I". Because what we think of as "me", ceases to exist as an "I", and the only thing left is pure enlightened being. What we truly are, never had a single thought in its life, not a single idea, never said a single word, and it never will. We can only be it. Realization does bring "human" bliss, because the "ego" quiets down a bit, when there is acceptance that it is not I.

I loved this one, this is a good question. Thanks for the insight

Lovely insights, thank you for sharing This is a big trap indeed. If you think "That's not me, let me distance myself from it", you are in fact not referring to "me as self" but to thought stories. I find it helpful to have a curiosity about it, to examine the mind, to shed light upon its inner workings. Although it is still not "self" that does the understanding within this awareness, it is helpful for "growth" of the non-self. This is helpful because the illusion of non-self being self has grown out of control with most people. Basically, there is no reason to think anything about anything, everything just is. Buttons being pushed just is, being experiences it. It has no purpose, it requires no effort, there is no solution to it, nor is there a need for a solution.

So, the past few weeks have been special. I have had to do some stuff in my private life, that left me anxious in anticipation of it, and it was mentally quite disturbing. Sure, as far as emotions and thoughts go, i am the perceiver of them, but still they can be quite intense. I've found my non-duality work the past month had been going great. Felt really good, relaxed most of the time. But also had little ego thought. This was going well in my daily life with everything going as expected. Then come these challenges. Now usually i am quite confident of my skills, thinking myself a highly intelligent person, and often better than the rest of the world. I am not the most social person naturally, the years somehow turned this into "i'm smarter, so i'm also better than these social people", and often also, "i'm spiritual, so i'm deeper than these people.". Or being assertive/aggressive and standing up for myself, by psyching myself up and thinking i am strong. Enter, non duality, and acceptance, and seeing thought as irrelevant noise. Suddenly i find, i have very little ego thought. But these ego thoughts were my defenses it seems. Without any stories to tell myself, all that was left was fear. Now i know fear/anxiety is also caused by ego thought, in this case negative ego thought. But i didn't want to fight it with positive thoughts. So i found myself without any coping mechanisms. And it was quite troublesome to deal with. Mentally i was doing fine, but physically, the cold pressure of fear around my heart region was intense at times, and very uncomfortable. I tried accepting it, and perceiving it, but it did not readily vanish. In the end i managed to "survive it" by just perceiving and feeling this uncomfortable feeling non stop, until the actual events started(then i was gone suddenly). I also realize it was only uncomfortable because my mind thought of it as uncomfortable. Still, it's like sticking your hand into fire, how many here are able to do it realizing "it is only uncomfortable because my mind makes it so"? So long story. But the question basically is. How do i deal with life challenges when practicing non duality. How to deal with shit happening in a non dual way? How can one have confidence in himself, when there is no thought to talk ourselves up into confidence?

Attachment to blissful feelings discovered during meditation, and watching your video's. Whenever i feel unpleasant feelings, it is like this internal battle with self, to be able to be able to live in the Now again. Off-course the battle itself is the problem, and there must be some letting go somewhere. But the letting go itself becomes the battle, the battle of letting go. I have found no solution to this yet, sometimes there is just letting go, without effort, but i can never remember how i did that.

yes, 100% yes!!

You are right, this is the confusing part. Because we all are god/infinite/consciousnesses. You see, the TV screen that realizes its the TV screen, just keeps playing the movie. Why would my body and brain suddenly self-destruct and blow up? This monkey will never "reach" enlightenment, i was this consciousness since birth. This monkey is also not really a self, this amalgam of thoughts, ideas, sensations, just appears to be an aware entity. But if you really look, you will notice it is rather mechanical and incoherent not continuous. It's just a broken machine to be honest. You are fully correct. Which one shouldn't think anything during those moments. The worst thing you can do when you are fully being, is trying to "understand" it. Because what is trying to understand, is the person on the screen, and he will absolutely fail to correctly understand it. And by trying to understand, the selfing reemerges. Because I try to understand enlightenment, is going the opposite direction from it at that moment. Afterwards however the monkey can take his time, to try to make some sense of it. The monkey can do whatever he wants, it's not me anyway. Exactly!!!!!!!! Yes it is, everything on this physical plane is. But this monkeyism is a road sign towards enlightenment in part. Self-inquiry is a good tool, it allows you to deeply investigate the monkey's psyche. Through this, the TV-screen will see it is not the monkey, and the monkey isn't real. This monkey will die, it will cease to exist, it will never be god or infinite or consciousness When we say, "I am god" or "I am enlightened", we are also saying "I am not the monkey". Anything else would be ridiculous. @Scholar It seems like you are on the precipice of understanding, which is good. Indeed, all thoughts and ideas and concepts are unnecessary for enlightenment. Realizing it is all monkeyism, is an important step. But you must also realize, this is a forum of monkeys that enjoy talking about tv-screens. And that is quite alright

@Dawson Love how you condense all my words to a simple phrase

How can "being" make predictions? Well, being is just being, it takes no effort, you already are doing it. To be enlightened, means to just let go of all these idea's and thoughts, and if they are gone, the only thing left is being, which you already are. It's not conceptual, you just need to look to see this. What i was pointing out, is that the human thoughts can never bring consciousness. You think you are this @Scholar person, but you are as much @zazed as well. The only difference, is you don't see my thoughts, and if you would, you would wrongly identify as @zazed. Your predictions, my predictions, they have equal value to consciousness, because you are not @Scholar at all. You just think you are. But what you are is just being and awareness of mainly you. As long as you think you are @Scholar trying to find enlightenment, you will never find it. Because you are enlightenment that has mistakenly identified with @Scholar. You need to let go of @Scholar as an entity, and just become being itself, now. The self can never be enlightened, because it is an illusion that does not exist. Rupert Spira described it as follows. You are a TV screen upon which a movie of @Scholar and @zazed and @electroBeam and @Dingus is playing. You are none of these But you think you are scholar trying to understand how to become a TV screen. The person scholar in the movie can never become a tv screen, and the tv screen never was scholar to begin with. So you always were the TV screen, you can only ever be the tv screen. And the thoughts scholar has, are just projections on the same screen, because of this they are not you. If you are being Now, which is what enlightenment is, there are no thoughts. There is no future, there is no past. There is just perception of everything. Why would it even want to make a prediction, it already has everything it needs. you are right in part. It is a strong belief based on learning in one part, and watching Rupert Spira, Paul Hedderman, Mooji and many others. I have also done psychedelics twice, but can't get any DMT . But i also have been able to just sit and become being many times now. And it is a wonderful experience in which i cease to exist, together with all my worries and problems, together with the concept/idea of time.

Who is it again that is predicting things? Who is it again that has a stance or position? Who is it that has a perspective? The self/brain/mind can think, and through mind can understand concepts. It can make calculated predictions based on past experiences. But it doesn't mean anything. By making predictions you are living in the past and future as a separate self. You are going away from enlightenment. Consciousness doesn't make predictions. These predictions are irrelevant to it, just something it happens to perceive. Additionally, if consciousness were to identify with your predictions, it would self-identify as @Scholar. Which seems what is happening here. The predictions of @Scholar, of @zazed of @Dingus and @electroBeam all have equal and zero value for "your" consciousness. You are mistaken the dreamt for the dreamer. In this sense, your predictions from your self can be accurate. They can be a valuable tool in life, to do a job and earn an income. But they are not related to consciousness in a 1 on 1 manner, what you are, is what is perceiving them, not what is thinking them.

If you can do a true selfless act, you already are enlightened. Most people who do selfless acts are wonderful people. But they most often do the acts for their own ego. Being selfless and helping others is how some people define their sense of self. In this way it is the opposite from being enlightened. Defining ourselves as this nice person who helps others, will make us feel good and at peace, but that peace is an illusion that arises from boosting the ego. The ego thinks: "i am great, i am this selfless person helping others." It's like a child doing something to surprise his mum when she comes home. The end goal here is not the helping itself, but the child's imagined reward of happiness and joy when she comes home and is happy because of the child's actions. Be that as it may, helping people is often very rewarding. And it's an easier place to meditate from love, than from hate and strife. Everyone already is enlightened. But they mistakenly think they are this self, running around, doing things.

It is as @Leo Gura said, suffering is nothing more than your check engine light. To help you survive. In this way, suffering is caused directly by evolution. Physical suffering is obvious, fire burns, get your hand out of it. Social/emotional suffering teaches you how to behave in a group, increasing your chances of living long enough to spread your DNA. Everything that is effective in helping us survive, will happily be selected during millions of years of evolution. The end result is many neurotic, unhappy, human beings, that somehow are still able to exist together and create offspring. Evolution does not select for happiness at all. Evolution has only one single criteria: "does the organism survive long enough to allow its DNA to spread into the future". Everything that helps with this is an evolutionary benefit, and causes that "trait" to survive in the population. Everything that is a negative get's fewer chances to survive in the population. Evolution selects for anything that "works"... Worrying what other people think, must be beneficial for survival, because we all do it to some extent... Some mechanisms on how suffering works and begins from a scientific perspective. Because often enlightenment and scientific understanding are complementary. Remember, what is enlightened is not you as a self, so there is no contradiction between psychology and spirituality here.

I agree. Thinking back now on meditation i did earlier. It's like walking tip toed on your socks, cause you don't wanna wake anyone at night. Tho not entirely accurate. But it's a strange sensation, of not "touching" the mind, or not "waking" the mind up, while being fully conscious. The mind has every intention to spring up, and start to analyse that situation of being. It is a thoughtless awareness, i call it just being. You are fully correct. Words or thoughts don't exist at that point, how can you name it? I suppose it can be called pleasant, or being at peace. But even that doesn't describe what it is. The mind trying to understand it, to define it, is perhaps even poisonous to it. The best description is "being". All spiritual teaching can be condensed to that word. But it's not very helpful to someone who knows nothing about it @SOUL exactly, and we'll speak thousands of words more on these forums.

i saw no pic? Enjoy your work time

This is true. I myself can get very defensive of myself and my beliefs at time. But what the video and @Shin are talking about, is just being. If you are just being in the moment, there is nothing to think about, and no truth's to defend. When there is only perception, who exists to believe something? What Diamond is talking about, is not falling into the fallacy of "mental masturbation". This is also what Paul Hedderman talks about as the poison of spiritual books, and that spirituality can drive people insane. Mental masturbation is self-identifying with these concepts, thinking about them constantly, and in this way logically excusing yourself from real work. I am probably at times deluding myself : "I don't need meditation, i already know the theory". But if i don't need meditation anymore, i should be able to sit and just become being at any time, which incidentally IS meditation. And the fact is, it doesn't always work as i would like Another problem, all this incessant thinking about spirituality, is mental noise that is distracting me from the Now. These "positive" spiritual thoughts may make me feel "happy" and "wise", but they are an illusion and have no real value compared to true enlightenment. Getting stuck in this, is what she also warns about i suppose I noticed the same. Were i usually dreaded and hated having to wait for something/someone, or being bored in public transportation. Lately more and more i am often looking forward to the opportunity of silence, and just feel content in being there. It is at least helpful to have this paradigm, right? @Shin thanks for sharing, i enjoyed her views, and probably needed them.

Who is frustrated, where is this frustration within you, can you find it? I feel you, i started around your age, and it's hard to keep up with school and life. Watch some more video's about enlightenment. And try to learn more about its concepts. Without some knowledge, you are just sitting. With some teachings it becomes a great transformative process. The reason it went easy in the beginning, is because it was fresh after seeing Leo talk about it. He has many great talks, and some like his on meditation should be rewatched. You will find new nuances in Leo's teachings, i've watched some up to 4 times. Also, take your practice further than meditating. Every spare moment you have, try to think of nothing, and just be there. Meditation should become your default state of mind, when on the bus, cooking dinner, paying attention in class(listening and mindfulness are very compatible). Watch these, in this order for better comprehension. Mooji feels it, and explains it through the heart. Rupert knows it, and explains it most logically of all. Paul is so abstract, you need to know some things to even understand him, but i find him most helpful of all. They are essentially talking about the same things.

Yeah, what @Dingus said, its a mono oxidase inhibitor, so be careful. t's safe, but certain foods may cause shock and kill you, like salami and cheeses. This is because the mono oxidase enzymes that break down the psychedelic in the mix, are inhibited, this way the "potion" works. But it also disables your bodies protections against these foods, making them very poisonous to you. This is no joke, so read: https://erowid.org/chemicals/maois/maois_info2.shtml http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/maois/faq-20058035