zazed

@Gopackgo Exactly. But circular thought processes can also be about enlightenment. That is what Paul means by putting a warning stamp on all spiritual books. There is danger of deluding oneself so much, that the mind is filled with idea's about enlightenment. This may even bring peace, it doesn't seem like a bad thought process to have. But in the end, the magnifying glass is still burning away, it's still burning down on you as the body, as a self. The pressure is still on.

Thanks. I love you too!

It's already in the past. If you'r worrying it's about the future. In the end, there is nothing at all we can do, there is nothing we regular people should do even. We can hope the police forces can manage to work together globally to detect these attacks in advance. We can hope in the future, the people in the middle east can enjoy better education. Then they may be open minded and intelligent enough to see that their actions mean nothing. That they learn proper history about world wars, that they learn about philosophy and the human situation. We can hope these countries can install stable governments, so that the people are not living in constant fear. So that children can just grow up happy and don't have to become terrorists out of hatred for their life situation. Imagine living in constant hunger and fear of death, while the rest of the world becomes fat on mc donalds, and you've known this since you were a small boy? Becoming a terrorist leader is the best thing a child can do in those regions, you get security, relative stability, and you become a king in your region. It would be easy to convince people there, the west is evil and stealing everything from them. We can hope that these stable governments become an alternative. That people can get and keep decent jobs. Perhaps in the future these children that would become terrorist leaders could grow up, and just use their charisma to become douche-bag CEO's, to satisfy their desire for power over people. Like they do in our countries. We can turn the other cheek, realize these people are so due to circumstances since their youth. That they live in terrible countries with little education and where spiritual leaders abuse their power for terrorism. That will take years, in the mean time this problem has no immediate solution.

@Gopackgo It may all be fascinating what we're doing here. I too am very rational and scientific due to my job. Also, i didn't want to disprove your idea about free will, it might well be true, who knows. If we are just an observer, just perception itself, then we as perception surely have no free will. We can always agree to disagree and remain friends, that is ok, i don't need everyone in the world to agree with me. I enjoy the sport of discussion perhaps a bit too much sometimes, and you have been a fine player. I watched the video a second time yesterday evening, and it's starting to dawn on me. In the end, enlightenment is having no effort at all, its just being. If we want enlightenment, we're working to hard, we've missed it, we've passed it, we're lost to it completely. The mind can be rational all day long, it's just stories in our heads anyway. Identifying with and putting importance on something that will happen tomorrow, or has happened yesterday is the real problem. You gotta travel light, don't carry around all those potential problems that may or may not appear tomorrow. Don't carry around all that baggage from the past, it's only an inaccurate memory inside your head. Really, i'm just typing on a keyboard here, nothing else is happening, there are no groceries here. There is me, the keyboard, the screen, a mental projection of you as audience, and the light in my hallway that just turned on by itself. The mental projection is real, cause its happening, but its not me, its just some thing. I've found, really looking, and by looking i mean just observing, watching without judging, and especially without identifying is the best solution. I'm afraid, then i examine the fear, not with the mind, not asking myself questions, not really with any effort at all. I just look at it, deeply, intensely, pure fascination on the process. Like watching an animal at the zoo, or a campfire, or anything fascinating. By just looking the emotion doesn't really diminish at first, it becomes like these sequence of bodily sensations that are quite abstract, then the mind seems to forget about them, then they vanish. It's not like i want them to vanish, i'm just looking at the components as they are. The components are not fear, fear is a mental label, the components are just "tensions, pressures, tinglings" in various locations. And they are often neither unpleasant or pleasant, they are just there somewhere, but not entirely sure where. Even if you press your thumbs fingernail into your index finger, you notice it's just some kind of pressure, it's not even exactly where you are pinching, it's like radiating out, where is it exactly? I've also found, emotions are also complete liars. You'll experience something, and then a split second later there is an emotion. It's like the emotion was always there, but actually the thought about the emotion changes your memory of the past, and injects itself upon the sensation. When someone tells you bad news, first you are just hearing words. But the hearing of the words and the interpretation of the meaning of the words gets merged in your memory, like they've always been one and the same. The mind is changing the past to make itself seem real. This is even true with physical pain, just press your thumb fingernail into your index finger and see, it's not a bad thing in itself. (not advising self-immolation here, that is not the point) I've also found, the mind likes to finish thoughts, like its very important for it. It's funny, if you start thinking about something, you want to complete the story. Even making excuses, i almost made this design in my head, just a few more thoughts and i am done. Or you can have thought loops, to prevent you from forgetting some idea you have, they pop up every few minutes until you can put it on paper, days later. These are real devils to me, they sapped a lot of my energy before. In the end, all this thinking is sooooo tiring. Nothing can be gained from it, it means nothing really, but it appears to mean everything. By just perceiving, everything becomes hilarious, like watching a child paint with finger-paint. Its like watching a comedy, its not heavy, everything is funny cause it doesn't matter. But also kinda bland sometimes, cause nothing really matters much.

I agree 100% on the micro scale. Most thoughts and actions i take are involuntary in the instant moment. And it certainly is an interesting and abstract view, which from some perspective seems fully correct. I also don't know how it would help or even matter to me, other than being a fancy theory Your also using computer analogies for the brain, trying to say something weak can't control something powerful, as if that means anything. An old ps/2 port has a max of 12bits/s, plugging in both a mouse and keyboard you can fully control a computer using 24bits a second. Even just showing the mouse cursor move on the screen takes much more processing power, you need to cursor to dissapear where it was, and appear in new places, refreshing the entire screen at 60Hz, which takes in full HD about 2.78 Gbit/s, just to make your mouse move from 12bits/s input. As resolutions increased and pc's became thousands times more powerful, the slow ps/2 port kept working, and can still be used today to control a pc, altough its not always available these days. Following your analogy, the computer should make the keys on my keyboard go up and down, and also make the mouse move around. There is no reason, for a low bitrate device not being able to control something of much greater power. You can control a forklift with some levers. You exert only little force on the lever and can lift heavy burdens with ease. On the macro scale. The subconscious mind can still be influenced and trained. Fear reflexes can be trained, some people learn not to flinch for anything. Since starting my meditation practice again recently and sticking with it , i have more willpower. I'm an entirely different person now, and people have even noticed this and commented on it. I'm living less in a haze of automata, and am more aware of what is happening. This awareness brings certain logical flaws to light, which i don't repeat because of this. My automata are also changing, my instant reflexes are beginning to be different from what they where. I notice this easily in my daily life. I'm suddenly much more detailed at my job. I also do administrative tasks exactly on time, which i always post-poned. I'm also doing things very very far outside of my comfort zone due to this, which I would never voluntarily choose otherwise. The claim that there is no free will, would mean i could do nothing else than choose to pick up the meditation habit. That it was pre-destined to become better at my work. I had no choice but to enter these forums. And you guys had no choice but to steer me into the direction where my job got better. That may well be. But i don't believe it. Why now, why not two months ago, when i was in a darker place. Marijuana for example, will definitively impact your choices and the way you live. But does that mean the choice to use marijuana never existed? If free will doesn't exist, should we tell addicts they have no choice and just to keep using heroin, booze, and whatever they want? It is also a mentality that is not without danger and could be self-defeating, making life a mess. You would say that if the addict decides to quit, its because he had a motivational drive to do it. But why would he decide that, heroin impacts mind and body fully, the only remaining drive is to do more heroin. And what about those difficult choices, the one's you deliberate over weeks? Or even my dinner tonight, due to time, i was seriously considering getting take out. But i decided not to due to health reasons. But i could almost taste the take-out, and had great desire for its greasy goodness. Or when i go out to exercise, and my entire body is screaming to stay indoors and chill, but i still go and do it. What about a computer scientist designing a model. He thinks deeply and hard about the model he is creating, he makes many many choices in the process. For some he will deliberate for days, for others he might call a colleague for more input. I just don't believe it. I know you can keep going "meta" on everything i said here. You can say i make these seemingly hard choices, because that is what the subconscious is determined to choose. That the mind is set in its way and even the fact of deliberating for days is part of an automata for a hard choice. It's an automatic involuntary process. I understand all your reasoning and theories on it, and it's a logical view. But i don't see the relevance or the importance of it, and I don't think it's true either. I would say, having no free will is the illusion here, and you actually have free will I would also say, perhaps many normal people have little to no free will, but increasing your free will is a result of enlightenment work , due to more awareness of the subconscious. Personally i believe, we are not the body, not the subconscious mind, not the conscious mind, not a voice in our heads, not what we see, not what we hear. We are perception itself. As such, we are nothing in this world, and whether or not something here has free will, should be beside the point. Self improvement and the free will to choose to improve, is important only to create a stable environment for enlightenment work.

@Gopackgo That's an interesting perspective. I can appear to make choice, i can deliberate between what i'm eating for dinner. Off course that can be an illusion. On the other hand, my meditative practices are having since recently already an impact on my professional career. That would mean, that i was pre-destined to start my practices and have impact on my career. I don't really buy that . But it's just a semantic thing really, it doesn't really matter if there is free will or not. It matters most, to realize who has the free will. I believe, the body does have free will, it can have needs, desires and choices based on this. But i also believe that that body is not really me. And even the I i'm referring to is not me. If my true nature, is perception or some similar concept. Then I don't have free will. I'm just looking at a movie happening. The movie may not be predetermined, and the body has choices, but there is no interface for true being to control the body. So it will just keep on going and choosing whatever it may.

@ashashlov Oh, i did not have any problems at al in my life, cause by weed. Until it became too much, then i had some problems waking up in the morning, nothing more. You tend to become foggy all the time, if you do it a lot. Also you don't feel much from it after a while, you are just in this kind of haze, like your mind is numbed. I also noticed, i always wanted to smoke 1 more in the evening, so i would stay up way too late. As @Spacious said, motivation is also a huge problem after a while. You just can't be bothered to do anything after a while, other then vegging out and watching TV. I also found a solution all the negative sides of weed. Rigorous exercise, like cardio training, 3 times a week. Then smoking weed in the evening. It will make you get higher with less herb, and it's more fulfilling if you do smoke. You also tend to stop sooner, there is less craving to smoke more and more and more. That seems to bring me in a state of equilibrium and removes all negative side effects of weed for me (not being able to get up early, low motivation and focus)

It's true regarding the weed. It reduces your REM sleep, when you quit you rebound and get a boost in REM sleep, causing intense dreaming. But i'm not doing that much less, i've been managing my habit for some time and am only smoking in the evening. Should be the same. But who knows.

I'm addicted to weed, i admit. You can become dependent upon it, making life worse when you don't have it. It also causes troubles sleeping, it will reduce your REM sleep (proven throe science), and increase your deep dreamless sleep. And after years of this, you tend to get chronically tired, you need REM. Other than that, it's a manageable habit to live with. It's better than being a functional alcoholic for sure. But speaking from years of heavy usage, i would smoke like 10g, maybe 15g a week, which is a bit much. One a day, two a day, is not addiction, and its something i'm trying to get back to, and am managing so far. I would do 8 on a week-evening at my peak, 15 in a day if it was weekend and i started from morning. But still i can quit cold turkey, it's just not fun to do. Would go on vacation 2 weeks often in summer, in countries that forbid it, so... As for meditation, it can be ok for meditation. Personally it messes more with my meditation when i don't have it. Proving again my dependence upon it. Be careful, smoke it, don't let it smoke you

I had a horrible childhood, one time around Christmas when i was 17 or so, everything felt against me. My parents were divorced since i was young, my dad was a nut job the entire town hated, my mom was depressed and had no interest in us. Life just felt horribly unfair and painful to me, I felt like white trash. I didn't get the affection or confirmations i wanted/needed as a child. It was Christmas, i was alone in my room, and i felt so unloved, so unwanted, so alone. On Christmas you're supposed to be happy with family, I thought. So i started searching that same Christmas day when i was 17, just not to kill myself basically, i needed some solution and it was impossible to fix my life situation as a kid. So I learned about Buddhism, the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path helped me accept my suffering that was happening then. I started meditating, that calmed me down, it brought some sense of peace. In my 30ies now, so i succeeded in surviving, huzzah! These days I find many of the religious side notes of Buddhism too much, so i don't identify as a Buddhist anymore. But i'll have eternal respect for the theosophy, it saved my life.

@Martin123 you got a link to it, where can i find it?

I woke up 4 times last night, weird nightmares. I normally don't dream at all (marijuana side effect). Any tips @Martin123 ?

@Echoes , as @Arkandeus said, it's probably not a ridicule. Its likely my own self reading to much into it. People (me) tend to become defensive at times. Watching the entire video and the question session. He is talking to a group of people that came to a specific retreat about this topic. That setting alone makes it non-insulting (not that one should ever feel insulted). Other practices are not relevant there, that's not what their retreat is about. Also, i don't know what non-duality wars are, i only know they are forbidden here

@Gopackgo That's what's the point regarding meditation. Seeking is not really searching. It's more looking inward and experiencing what is. You can do that however you like. He has that buzzing sound, due to his tinnitus, and he loses himself in that. What is that other than meditation, only he does it constantly. Paul says people should look inward and see, and i quote "You gotta explore, what's here, what's hearing, what's seeing". That is what meditation is to me at least. It doesn't mean we have to be frantic about it, searching like an obsessed person, then we would be doing it wrong. You just sit and exist. But just being, takes some practice, otherwise we would all be enlightened here, cause we all know the theories. And to everyone else: One peculiar thing i realized today, thanks to Paul's video. Eckhart Tolle's focus on the Now, is maybe a bit too much. And I like Paul's perspective on how unimportant the Now is. It gives it another dimension. Yes you are living Now, but Now is also meaningless, it's just experience itself. It's gone in an instant, at least, the previous Now is. It has no inherent value either, no permanence. Makes you wonder, when this Now becomes the next Now? Eckhart Tolle writings, may make you obsessed about the Now, trying frantically with effort, to live in the Now. But if you didn't live in the Now Now, you can live in the Now Now, or you can live in the Now Now. And if you didn't live in the Now a second ago, well that is just a story, it's gone. That failure, is not the Now, its unimportant even, forget about it, drop it. This is where many spiritual practitioners fail, by clinging with self to the effort, and that is the essence of what he is saying to me at least If you are thinking about not being able to live in the Now, you are living in the past. If you are thinking about not being enlightened, you are living in the past. if you are forcing yourself to meditate, you are living in the future, you are placing importance on future gain and not living in the Now. Perhaps it's best to meditate naturally, whenever a free moment arises. Instead of going to great lengths to set up the environment for meditation. Still, the practice is still not without it's benefit in realizing these truth's. That's what the joke is all about. Once you realize the truth, it all seems without purpose. It will seem ridiculous even.

Let's just say mindfulness meditation causes the amount of thoughts to arise to lessen. This has basically been proven, and is easily verified if you do it an hour. It allows you to look inward and "see what you are not", as the dude says. It also allows you to "see what you are humbly", another term the dude used. As the guy in the video, who seems to be enlightened, says. we need to "just believe it, i believe it deeply". But here i am, still selfing, i'm aware of me selfing even, as i am typing this essentially self-defensive article, protecting my practice. I know it, and still i'm posting it trying to prove my point. Hilarious, it's probably gone as you read this, until "being" stumbles upon it again, if i would be enlightened at least (i'll think of other things i could've said, as i'm watching tv). He also beautifully stated, he "walked lightly on difficult terrain". Meaning basically he is living in the Now and is not attaching to his thoughts about a certain topic, he just let's it all wash over him. It also prolly means he has few thoughts about it even, his mind is rather still. He also says he drops his thoughts like a burden, as he "will walk out there and it will all be gone". That implies living fully in the present. That seems like enlightenment. It's a good cause for laughing, it is hilarious (i've had being being being experiences, where i burst out laughing like he did). Funny, he also claims to have meditated a lot, that means at least the practice has been helpful into clearing his mind enough to be open to the awareness. That amount of meditation does have an effect on the brain, it has been proven by mri studies on people meditating in an mri machine, vs normal people. That is why Leo is documenting his process. Leo said in a video, quoting from poor memory here: "an enlightened Buddha is in a poor position to teach how to become enlightened, because he probably has forgotten about, and has no need for, the details." I agree. He had his enlightenment experience, and yes after that it's all meaningless, just words on pieces of paper. He is right, if you're already enlightened, you don't need to do nothing. Being just becomes being. There is nothing left to learn if you realize there is nothing left to learn, because there is no you to learn it anymore, and you have transformed into "being being being". That's enlightenment, my brain believes right now, and i believe after seeing 50m so far, that the dude has it. I still need to stop believing and realize i'm already "being being being", which is the great paradox, and the ultimate joke of spiritual practice. That's why he burst out laughing. Doing the mental juggling is easy, but i'm definitively not at that stage yet. But yeah, there is no i choosing to meditate, i just do. It's just reality, it's already "being being meditating". Doesn't mean it's not helpful. Doesn't mean it can't help me realize what the dude has realized, and actually live it in hopefully a short time. wow, this was actually helping me understand deeper, while writing, thanks for the topic guys!

I'm also from Belgium, nice to meet you. I don't go on retreats, but i've read good things about Huy. They have an event upcoming: http://www.tibetaans-instituut.org/v2/index.php?mact=CGCalendar,cntnt01,default,0&cntnt01event_id=16525&cntnt01display=event&cntnt01returnid=67

Didn't watch more than 10m of the vid. Maybe later tonight, at least the content seems interesting, the dude is not totally wrong. I see some examples of straw man fallacies here and there and in the video. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man Basically, looking purely at the content of some posts, and even the video, everyone is is basically saying the same thing. But using different words. First i feel ego is being redefined to something that it is not to many people on these forums. Then that new definition is being poked holes in (=straw man). In some posts in this thread, even seeking is redefined as only looking for enlightenment (=straw man). While Leo clearly said it was inward searching and examining or studying one's mind. Most of the posts in this topic, and the original video, are just saying the exact same things as what teachers such as Leo or Eckhart Tolle, or even the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh are saying. But they just use different words for certain concepts. What is called the self, is often called the ego by many teachers. Tho ego is more specific, cause it concerns mainly the mental aspects of our self. To me the ego is the mind completely. The seeker is seeking enlightenment in the NOW, never in the future. Getting rid of the ego and becoming enlightened, it means fully accepting reality as it is happening, being pure being, and not attaching to thought. That i believe also what it means to most spiritual teachers, at least that's how i read their texts. Meditation is a great tool in reducing the thoughts to almost zero. After that one is just a mind with few thoughts, so to become enlightened from there, true acceptance is needed. But realizing/accepting pure being is a lot easier, if your mind is not constantly shouting at you "sex, sex, love, want, food, food, cold, warm, work, career, promotion!" That's what they often call letting the water become still, so you can see the bottom of the lake. That is the purpose of meditation, nothing more. Good luck becoming enlightened, if you don't train the monkey mind at least a little, but its not impossible, some people can just have an "aha" moment. Additionally, training the monkey mind, is a reward on its own. A mind trained by meditation has more self-control, even without enlightenment. Meditation can also become pure being. I believe if one is enlightened, and there are no direct things that need attention. One will just sit down and be present. This may look like "meditation", but it is just being without doing, because, what else is there left to do for a Buddha in his spare time? But are we now really going to discuss the meaning of English words here ? Words that were originally poorly translated from languages such as Chinese, Japanese and certain Indian dialects, by English scholars with zero spiritual insight.. Should we put up a sticky dictionary topic with detailed word meanings, lest people get confused ? It's just a word, it can mean different things, we are smart, we can hold these conflicting meanings in our mind, its ok... Isn't it more helpful to find similarities, rather than things to argue about?

English is not my native language, so forgive any spelling issues. So, i've been studying enlightment, zen, buddhism, taoism and all sorts of new age stuf since i was 17 or so. Some years more urgent, more focused, others i forgot about it and let it fade out. The last couple years i totally forgot about most of it, and i've been alot further on the journey than i am today. I was far along the path at the time i met my ex-gf, meeting her i totally went up into the relationship, and lost all awareness. It was abusive and it broke me more than i realized then, over 4 years it hollowed me out spiritually to what i am today. Now the video's Leo shoots have really been helping me. They have broken open my mind, and pointed out my many flaws, and my many coping mechanisms for escaping my fears. This in itself has made my existance more uncomfortable, because i am aware but cannot stop it, yet. I also regularly use marijuana, daily, without exception. Unless i travel for work/vacation. It started after the breakup, to help me cope. I have a good job, earn good money, i can't complain about that, and am respected as an expert in my field. I'm an INTJ personality. I am exercising often since two months, as part of my spiritual practise, at least 4 days a week doing heavy cardio. When i cycle indoor, i often do it without music and try to be mindful while my entire body aches, it is my main meditation currently (because i can't be still). Some things i have problems with: I can't just sit and meditate. Smoking weed is not a requirement if i'm busy, but the moment there is an empty moment, i need to light it up. I can meditate when i have smoked weed, but it's not as relaxing then, i may feel guilty about it, the guilt may be worse than the high in preventing meditation. When i do just sit, its horrible, i become very uncomfortable all over. So, either i smoke weed, or i keep myself busy with menial tasks, such as cleaning the house, mowing the lawn. And i can do this kind of mindfully, but as soon as there really is nothing to do, i'll often be lighting up the MJ before i am even aware of it. At work, i take the content very personally. I've noticed this thanks to the video's Leo made. I noticed my being "smart", was such a big part of my imagined self, that i needed to be right at work, and things needed to be done in my vision. I didn't really listen to people, i thought i was smarter/better, which is actually holding me back. It has been better lately, but it's still my default mode if i am not aware/carefull. I've really enjoyed the video on "how to stop caring what other people think". It made me realize that most of my social anxiety, is because i desperately need people to like me. I had also convinced myself i was "better" than people, or didn't need people, or that i would become an isolate zen monk and would be fine. I live alone, in my own house, and don't have many friends. I never feel lonely, but it's making me more socially weird, like i'm out of practise On the plus side, i have few time restrictions on enlightenment practise (which is why its sad i don't do more of it) I've been further on the path in my early 20ies, being aware now shows this. I can remember enlightenment like experiences from more then 10 years ago, and it is frustrating me to see how chaotic my mind is today. I can talk about enlightenment and know a lot about it, but it's not any help at all. Enlightenment itself, or awarenes, tends to become an ego thing for me. If i'm enlightened, my life will be ok. I desire that which is a state of no desire, my desire may be to strong, it may actually be deluding me and holding me back. I remember letting go in the past, but i can barely remember how that worked Anyway, i'll try to visit the forums from time to time. And i'd welcome any advise, cause i need it. The biggest problem being unable to just sit and meditate in the now. Basically, i am trying to become aware, enlightened and more in control of my life again. I've had enough of living on auto-pilot.

@Dodoster That's the point exactly, yeah

Yes, it seems true what you are experiencing. Good work coming this far, feel free to share any insights or idea's that can help me. I've had a similar experience some years ago, i now barely remember how it felt. It fed my sense of self, and my "joy" about my own "enlightenment experience" is what took it away in the end. My mind came in after some weeks and started thinking "hey we're enlightened now, so exciting, so liberating". So i self-identified with the enlightenment experience. By clinging to it, by feeling pride about it, i destroyed it. I realized long after, one cannot mentally be "proud" he is enlightened, that is contradictory I do agree, reading more at this state may be unnecessary, i had the same idea of not being a seeker anymore. Would pick up a book and just realize, I know this, this is just regurgitating more of the same, just words on a piece of paper. But boy, i wish now i had kept meditating in that state, perhaps i would still have it. So think nothing of it at all, be very careful not to cling to it in any way, just keep practicing (meditation), ride it as long as you can, perhaps forever. Make sure you don't attach to it, attaching with the self to it, will bring you back down. PS. A small ego seed may be there already when you said : "or when trying to impress or manipulate people" Why would an enlightened person try to impress or manipulate people? Stay aware!

Short answer, Yes I have this problem myself, so i'm the blind leading the blind here. Sometimes i can manage my low self image by being more present. Borrowing from Eckhart Tolle here, a book Leo also recommends i believe. In most situations, trying to realize there is only the Now, helps. It's easy when life is good, to embrace the Now, just be present and enjoy what is. Our colleges and friends are not saying anything right now, perhaps they are not even around. Our past mistakes are not here Now, and anything about the future is just a story we tell our self, we should realize this. We just are, we exist. Our mind idea's are not relevant to enjoying the sunshine on our face, we can just let them go, and only be aware of the soothing warmth. When life is challenging, it is harder. Realize we want to escape, we want it to be over, we want to fast-forward to where we are happy again. What you are trying to escape may be a social situation, or a thought like "I find myself not caring about the titillation of every day life, of ordinary pleasures. I feel proud, but I feel like an outcast for pursuing truth over pleasure.". I have the same thoughts at times, don't worry about it, don't ever feel guilty for your thoughts (that defeats the purpose entirely), just let them go, gently. A big part of becoming enlightened, is not identifying with what your thinking. You have no control over your thoughts, you would never choose to have these negative thoughts about yourself, so just observe them, and let them fade (this is very hard tbh, meditation helps). Realize this means you are living in the future or the past, you are telling yourself a story about how you are more awake than others. You are judging other people for not being awake. You probably are more awake, but its just not relevant when talking to other people. Be fully aware of what the other person is saying, he or she is here Now, happening Now. All the stories your mind is spinning up, are just not helping you now. In the same time, if you have a low self image story in your head. Realize its just a thought. It is not happening now, it is not reality, it's a story you are telling yourself. Be aware of the Now, existence just IS. The mind story does not define you, you are reality itself. You don't even like the low-self-image-thoughts, you certainly didn't choose them, otherwise you wouldn't ask this question here. So don't self-identify with them, they are not who you really are. You are existence happening Now. In this way the practice will bring you closer to people, because you can stop living in your mind-stories about who you think you are. You can be awake, and fully listen, you will understand people. By understanding you will be able to give deep insightful responses that will leave them breathless. You will become more successful in your career, studies, and any social interactions you do. Do what you are doing Now, always. That is a big part of mindfulness. Don't live inside your head, like I tend to do myself.

It's hard to say. What kind of method do you use when meditating? Do you think of certain things, do you focus on certain things, do you use any music? Tell us more?

Mentally, it is very easy to read many books and articles about this topic. Entire libraries can be filled on the topic of enlightenment, there are thousands of books on it probably. Knowing is physical, so you conceptually may have a higher IQ than an enlightened being. Conceptually your brain may through study "know" more about enlightenment than the Buddha himself. Just by reading the multitude of books in many many religions on the topic. But Knowledge is not Enlightenment. It is just mental baggage, and it will never become anything more than that. Knowledge is the dirt in which the tree of enlightenment can grow, it is not even the seed. The seed was within you since birth.

about 4 years ago, i stopped my spiritual journey for a while. The main cause was over-information. I was becoming an "armchair" guru. In the beginning, reading all this knowledge was fascinating and interesting. It triggered me, it calmed me, it caused in me a desire to know more, trying to read myself into enlightenment. As years went by, you start to notice all these books just regurgitating the same story. And i found myself thinking, i know this, i won't become enlightened from reading this, this is just more of the same. I thought i was better now than these authors, and further along the path than most, having all this knowledge inside my brain now. So i stopped, and i accepted this, and this acceptance brought me great calm and joy. It might have been the ego saying to me, "you are enlightened now boy, huzzah", i'm not really sure. But i made a big mistake, of neglecting spirituality after that. For a couple weeks, i felt free, i let myself go into joy without bounds. Then i lost the feeling, and got distracted by work for a couple years. And now i'm back here, picking myself up from the spiritual bottom, all thanks to that first video from Leo i saw some weeks ago. So yeah, at a certain point, nothing you read will give you any more insights. But it may still inspire you, or remind you of insights you've forgotten. Cetus said it, "Direct experience is key", there is no substitute for that. But also, when you do start feeling "better", don't quit the practice like I did, i guarantee you will regret it.

@electroBeam We also have to be careful when doing such self-inquiry. Make sure you are searching and looking for whatever enlightenment is. Many people have pre-concieved notions of what enlightenment is supposed to be "like". They are all wrong, language is a creation of this world, so are thoughts and fear for that matter. So we should investigate our mind and body, where does it come from, what is it, who is it? If we start with a thought "this is what it's supposed to feel like", a thought is the only thing we will get, enlightenment we will not attain. Idea's such as "looking into a mirror will give me such and such", "god looking through our eyes", or "dark night of the soul". While interesting, and i myself enjoy thinking and studying such "concepts". All of these are just stories and ideas and language, made by this world. And these stories will not bring us enlightenment. Enlightenment just is. We can think nothing of it. I myself have a fear problem. But thinking right now, it's making me wonder. What is my attachment to this fear, who is feeling it, why is it a bad feeling, why do i want it to go away. Who wants it to go away. Who is uncomfortable with it? Who wants to just sit in peace and tranquility? What is calm and peace, and why do i want it? Who wants it? Is peace enlightenment? Is any bodily sense of calm a requirement for enlightenment? Is anything the body can feel related to enlightenment? Today, my conclusion is, my mind, my body, my voice, they will never know enlightenment, even if something related to them becomes enlightened, they will just be confused on the sideline about it. So i'd best just give up trying to understand, to explain it, and just do it, be it.