zazed

Fuck it, i had made a hugely insightful post i was proud about in this thread. And now its buried behind nonsense and drama. Who is gonna fix my reputations? As for the issues, i don't know people here well enough to comment. But it saddens me to see a fight break out like this. I've had worthwhile interactions with both @Annetta and @Loreena, and i thank you both.

@Loreena What do you mean? Am i the super bulldozer, and is this a compliment or something bad?

I agree, and most of them will actually be ok with that. I have a Muslim friend, and i make friendly jests about his religion all the time in private with him, and he can laugh with it. For example whether certain anime is Halal, he especially likes anime with some teasing nudity in it. Sadly many people seem to be blind for everything except the extremists. @Socrates You are plain wrong. I am an atheist, so it doesn't really apply to me much, but i hate hatred It's also a weird perspective, I don't fully understand what you are pushing here, do you advocate killing 1.7 billion people, over 23% of the world population is Islam? Islam is used by many terrorist organisations to help them recruit people, because conveniently everyone in the neighborhood is Islam. You are confusing the propaganda for the cause, the causes are terrorist leaders operating from the safety of their home, the propaganda is the tool they use. Don't hate the tool, hate, or kill, the leaders (without making martyrs obviously, that rarely helps). Another interesting fact, is that lately many terrorists are home grown in Europe. Were these people are radicalized and brain-washed into blowing themselves up in some fashion. Brain-washing has little to do with Islam. You make a very big mistake, because Islam is not a centralized religion, there is no one Islam. There is also no one Islamic "holy pope". Most Islamic people are just quietly living their life in peace, just like you are trying to do. If you look at the map, you will notice you have never even heard of most Islamic countries, and there are billions of them: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e4/Muslim_Percent_Population_v2.svg It's gross generalization to say, "christian's are such, Muslims are such". But it is an easy and comfortable answer: "Islam is such, done!". To generalize an entire people as evil for the problems with a small minority is just plain narrow-minded, and black and white thinking. Most people are smart enough to realize, you cannot just put a label on people like that, there is so many gradations of grey. I have a Muslim friend, and the idea of him supporting killing anyone is absurd, i also think he is secretly gay and afraid to admit it. It is also a fact that it would likely get him killed since he lives in Saudi somewhere. Still he does all the Islamic holidays and practices. People advocating killing of infidels or gays should be arrested and prosecuted, period. I'm for killing every person that actually wants to kill non-Islam persons. I'll be the first to pull the trigger even, doesn't even matter if they are Islam themselves, it's the killing that is wrong, not the reason. The point is, killing is wrong. People killing other people are wrong and should be put to justice. People reading a book you disagree with, and you think probably causes killing, not so much. That is just your opinion man. Given, i'm not a big fan of their book, and it's not the most peaceful literature. But to say that it is only about killing is wrong. There are many insights and wisdoms in it, but it is true it can be a bit unrespectful of other religions. That doesn't mean we should hate or kill everyone that want's to believe Islam. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Also, remember most kids just believe what their parents tell them to believe. I grew up a christian and was forced to go to church. Now 20years later, churches in Europe are empty and nobody really cares anymore about Christianity, except a minority. Many people claiming to be christian, haven't read the bible and go to search to marry or baptize children, or to see other people marry or baptize their children and for funerals. Like a handful times in their lives, purely as social obligation, not out of fate. Additionally, if you were really schooled about the situation in the middle east. You would know that much of it is caused by western influence there, more pointedly our hunger for the oils. We played a big role in the destabilizing of the region. And it is not actually Islam causing terrorism, but it is the unstability of the region providing a breeding ground for extremists. To fix it, the region needs to be stabilized, unless you propose killing them all?

@Loreena Everyone see's a different you. And you see a different everyone. No two people look at a person and see the same thing, some may see a daughter, others may see a beautiful girl, another may see a hated enemy, but all 3 are you. Everything the eye sees, is translated inside the brain, and sprinkled with interpretation and feelings. Nobody has ever truly seen another person, everybody is looking at themselves. Like the entire world is a mirror into your own consciousness. That is my interpretation when teachers say, "I am the center of my universe", or "I am the only one in the universe". People live fully isolated, the senses are just interfaces to consciousness. When you look at the clouds, and think they look wonderful, you yourself are looking wonderful. If you look at something ugly, and think it looks ugly, you yourself are looking ugly. How does this help you? Well, you want to live simple, you want to avoid drama, you don't want things to turn into something shitty, and you want to avoid silly games. simple : personal mental label pasted on stuff happening. drama : personal mental label pasted on stuff happening. shitty : personal mental label pasted on stuff happening. games : personal mental label pasted on stuff happening. You see the folly here? Don't give people power over you like that. I remember a song I liked from when i was a teen "if you still hate me, you're thinking off me", it applies here. We must learn to let go. I know you are reading Tolle from other posts. This is another view on Now i am talking about really. You try to stop judging and labeling shit all the time, and just experience what is, as it is Now. And when it is not, when it is in the past, it disappears. This way no one, or no thing has power over your happiness, unless they are physically detaining you. This way you can just live your own life, and let everything else be what it is. Try to say to yourself as a mantra, when shit happens: "It is what it is", and let out a sigh of relief with it. I don't know how old you are, or if you still live with parents or family, that may be a constant stressful situation for you. In that case, it still applies but is very hard for you. You can try to find very tiny moments of Now, where you are alone or with good friends, and try to realize the beauty of those Now moments. Let everything else just fade away. The more Now moments you can find, the better you will get at finding more Now moments, until everything is one big Now moment. Because problems are not following us around, we are carrying them around by thinking of them. It's like a huge boulder we are dragging along on a chain, everywhere we go, making us tired. We need to just put the boulder down and leave it where it is.

I don't know Shin. Isn't that a personal belief? Personally, i think it is dangerous to follow belief systems, especially ones own. Until i realize enlightenment i wouldn't assume anything. How can you be really sure? The best unenlightened people can do, is read something somewhere and think "wow, this resonates with me, it makes sense, so i believe it". In this way, i have found no proof yet of love or good to be a requirement for enlightenment. As for Zen masters, Zen is one of the most secular and isolated ways to reach enlightenment. They care shit about the rest of the world and are the most egoistical monks that ever existed. The only thing they do is meditate and comb sand into circles around rocks, fully isolated Some in Japan also go on great treks around a mountain until they either die or become enlightened. If they only think about quitting, they have to commit ritual suicide. That is one way to tame the monkey mind : "don't think you wanna quit, or you'll have to kill yourself" The only religion i know of, that in enlightenment seeking embraces humanity and the saving of everyone, is tibetan/indian style Buddhism. Where they put emphasis on metta-meditation, and loving-kindness.

People are too identified with their self. They want status, they want power, they want to be recognized, they want to be loved, they want to be respected, they want more money. They are actually fully enslaved, fully absorbed in the rat-race. Better to live in the now, let them all be, we don't need them! Right now, there is only you, and the words you are reading now. There is nothing else. This is Now. Forget about anything longer than 1s ago, and anything further than 1s ahead. The only truth is your computer screen and these words. In this truth, you don't actually have problems, how can my words and your computer screen be a problem for you? Why exhaust your limited energy upon thinking about various douche-bags around the globe. Let them rot, who cares really? They are not here Now. Depression is a serious affliction. But it's also an illusion. Depression is a story about the past. You may say, I've felt like this for weeks, so i'm depressed. But there is only the Now, last week doesn't exist except as a memory. How can you be truly certain this depression is not a mental illusion? And does it even matter if you were depressed yesterday, yesterday does not define you... If you can just let go, and start anew from today, wouldn't that be great? We can live simple. Most people cannot. Forget about them, they are not here now. There will be nonsense forever. But the nonsense does not define you really. When you are walking in the forest, you are walking in the forest. The mind thinks it is pleasant. It will also soon be over. When you are listening to nonsense, you are listening to nonsense. The mind thinks it is not-pleasant. It will also soon be over. Everything is impermanent, you just float from Now, to Now, to Now, to Now, to Now, to Now, to Now, to Now, to Now, to Now. There is really only Now. There is joy in this both ways. The now is fascinating, and that which is horrible is brief. That which is wonderful is also brief. As such there is wonder in the briefness of the now, and nothing really lasts. Isn't that liberating, something new to perceive every moment? As for the Now, it is only you. Every word i typed here is formulated inside your perception. These are no longer my words, they are your words. By the time you have parsed the letters on the screen, they have generated meaning in your head. Your mind gives the meaning, by its knowledge of English language, but also it's personal history. You may completely misinterpret the words, such is fine too. Such is the same with anything you perceive. You only perceive yourself, so it's actually your nonsense you're hearing In this way, you have only ever seen yourself, heard yourself, loved yourself. When you love someone, you love a mental projection of him. An interpretation parsed through sounds, sights, smells and history. In essence, you love your own mental story of the dude, but you never known the dude himself. This is what they mean by, you are the center of reality. It is true because everything is colored by your interpretations. Everyone is isolated in their mind perceptions, people never really meet other people. The eyes, the ears, the mind colors and interprets everything, nothing is pristine, nothing is really true. PS. My mom is the biggest enemy of my enlightenment practice, and i live alone. Calling me with all kinds of stupid morose questions, needs and problems, its like i'm her father now. Worst of it is, if i set boundaries, i'll feel guilty. Every time she called it used to ruin my entire day, even entire weekends, non stop feeling guilty about not being able to drop everything for her. Now it ruins like 15m, until i manage to let go. Family has enormous power over us, they are a big part of our ego and who we think we self-identify as. Their love is of primary, even primal importance to our body/fake self.

@STC If the ego is searching enlightenment, it's the wrong part of us seeking. Nothing we will find. Someone searching enlightenment for these reasons, will first have to let go of these reasons, before he reaches it. Being a hero of the story, with "servants", is a contradiction entirely, and totally impossible. Like, if you want to be enlightenment, because you need to be respected. One of the first things you will realize, is there is no need to be respected. Then you will suddenly be enlightened. For me, truly, mentally, i am having my issues. I will admit, i am not 100% normal, compared to others. Enlightenment for me, is some form of release from my broken mind. I couldn't care less about how other people perceive my enlightenment. I just want to be happy really, and at peace.

For me, i'm doing all this, to become mentally healthy actually. I just want to find piece of mind. Since there are enough teachers around, and assuming i experience some form of ego death, i cannot imagine a need to have my own disciples. I'll probably just say "fuck you all, i'm enlightened now", and stay in the comfort zone of enlightenment forever or something.

So, lately i've felt quite happy with my practice and the insights found on these forums. But i've found boredom to be an issue now. I just don't really know what to do during empty moments. What are some good activities for the bored buddha?

@Martin123 intersting insight. I noticed today, it's not really a problem to be bored. I suppose i was feeling guilty i was just doing nothing basically. checking these forums, taking a stroll outside, mowing my lawn, going to the store. When i felt i perhaps needed to do something of more value, like meditating or exercise outside. I also perhaps wanted to game, but that is so absorbing it would not be beneficial at this time. I've also just recently picked up my spirituality again. So i suppose everything is in the "spotlight" now, so to say. I'm not used to having nothing to do anymore.

@Martin123 Adding to my book list, much appreciated!

@Dodoster You made me smile

Good to hear, keep looking at your mental states! why is it a problem whether or not its loved or not? What is the real value of this love to you as a being? How does it pose an issue for you as consciousness? Sounds to me like natural desire and need for love. Run far away from this girl, or run to her, but don't think so much about it. Either do or do not. But do not spend to much mental energy on it, it's not really a problem that needs solving, its the effort in solving of the problem that seems to be the problem here. If it is giving you this much thought, that you need to talk about it here, perhaps it's better to do not, in this instance. Girls that are unstable will make you mentally unstable, and strip any shred of enlightenment you have, in my experience. A girl that needs to be constantly pursued is too much into the game, to be able to just settle down and love. But i don't know the details so can't be sure.

@Dodoster That's a good idea, i've entertained before. But how does one start? Also i'm poor at drawing. I've always wanted to play piano, but it's an expensive hobby and difficult to learn.

@Arkandeus I love that view, it's what i needed to hear about it today :

@Scholar I am trying my best here, not to answer everything with a non-duality insight. Otherwise we would have nothing left to talk about here, and everyone would repeat infinitely, "it is not happening now, truth is truth, you are pure perception itself." But alas, you are right at the core of it. But i also don't expect every mental disorder to be cured by enlightenment. Everyone would leave mental hospitals as buddha's, wouldn't that be great, imagine all the buddhas? Offcourse everyone already is the Buddha. As for truth, there is truth here, truth to the body. It's real, if it's hungry it's hungry, if it's in pain it's in pain, if it's thinking about something tomorrow that is what it's doing. @electroBeam So, going into the non-duality preaching anyway If you are pure perception, then stop thinking about truth or not and just perceive the thinking about truth. What @Scholar means I think, by truth is just thoughts, is because the concept of truth is a mental label. To perception, there is just reality as it is right now, perception doesn't label things. Perception doesn't really do anything, it just perceives, it's effortless. Why do we even need to label or judge everything? The mind is real, but it's not you. It's like your perceiving a loved puppy, stumbling in the grass, doing all sorts of funny shit. Don't give it weight, it doesn't need to be taken seriously. If you don't give it so much attention, it will relax, like a real puppy, otherwise it will keep playing with you. The only thing we need to do, is perceive. The body will judge and think and worry and hurt, but we are just the perception of those events. What is infinite is where all these perceptions arrive. You can feel it while meditating, being this enormous emptiness and stuff just enters into it. Perception is infinitely large and infinitely small. Imagine yourself on the earth, the earth in the solar system, the solar system in the galaxy, galaxies in the universe. Mentally, keep expanding it, there is not end to the size of its expansion. If you try you will see, you can keep going further, and then further still. Or imagine yourself sitting behind your desk, and imagine billions upon billions of electrons and protons spinning around, making your keyboard. Every key is bigger than the visible universe. This way the mind can narrow down infinitely. Keep going deeper and deeper, there is no limit really. These are just mental images, but it's a way to get a sense of the space there. It's like we have some strange formless infinite empty space, thoughts are displayed in it, vision is projected on it, hearing fills it, the body with its sensations hovers in its center seemingly. But we are actually the empty space, not the contents of it. The space is the essence of what we are, the size of our perception, which is without size. So i wonder, where does perception begin, and where does it end?

@Annetta That is some good electronic music my friend, i'm putting bassnectar in my playlists.

@electroBeam Had to look up pascal's wager now, I learn something new everyday here @Annetta I don't see how mental disease is not getting its rightful place here. For one, linking to wikipedia, and reading up on the facts, is important. Know and understand, I watched your video's and enjoyed the insight, thank you. People will notice it is mostly about the negative effects on the patient lives, that are the final deciding factor in diagnoses. What you will also notice, psychological disorders are NEVER black and white. They come in various shades of grey, and you can have it slightly with some of the symptoms, or you have it full blown and are incapable of functioning at all in life. On the other hand, its not because @electroBeam grandmother was diagnosed, that is was truly so, neither that it was fully negative, nor that is was full blown completely dysfunctional. Many Christians have pictures of saints and pray to god, claiming to hear him. They don't get diagnosed as anything. In the end, it matters most, what effect it has on life. When i was briefly a wiccan as a teen, i was fully into it and conversed with trees and animals with people hearing me. I had conversations with the moon and the sun. I went to the forest at night alone, to find a magical branch for my spells. I had imaginary sex with the goddess, whatever that means . But i was happy and at peace, and i was still functioning in life, going to school, doing social activities, getting good grades. I've long thought i had mental disorders. If i read about bipolar, i have many of those issues. Same with schizo. Same with borderline disorder. As such i read a lot about that stuff, because i worried if i had it, and i was too afraid to tell anyone, so i studied it. I also had a close friend who was getting a master in psychology, and talked to him about certain facets academically. I learned most of it can apply to anyone one way or the other, almost no one is 100% guaranteed normal, everyone is broken in some way. Read enough about psychology, and soon you realize that basically everyone has a disorder in some form and weight.

It's sad how society views such things, the entire world suffers from xenophobia. Does it even matter if what she saw was real or not? The only things that should matter are: 1. Was your grandmother unhappy ? 2. Were her beliefs endangering the lives of others ? 3. Were her beliefs endangering her own life ? If on each of the 3 the answer is no, then there is no reason for treatment or cure. Society strives to much for what it thinks is "normal", its just a perspective. Perhaps we are all deluding ourselves here, but if we can find peace of mind and a happy life through it. Does it matter? Truth is overrated... @jseSchizo is not split personality however. That is how it was presented by Hollywood and as such most people misunderstand schizo. Spiritual practice is about seperation of body, thinking, memory, perception for many. Enlightenment fits certain schizo definitions, if you become pure perception, you are "split" from body and memory. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia : The word schizophrenia—which translates roughly as "splitting of the mind" and comes from the Greek roots schizein (σχίζειν, "to split") and phrēn, phren- (φρήν, φρεν-, "mind")[175]—was coined by Eugen Bleuler in 1908 and was intended to describe the separation of function between personality, thinking, memory, and perception. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to understand what is real.[2] Common symptoms include false beliefs, unclear or confused thinking, hearing voices that others do not hear, reduced social engagement and emotional expression, and a lack of motivation.[2][3] People with schizophrenia often have additional mental-health problems such as anxiety disorders, major depressive illness, or substance-use disorders.[7] Symptoms typically come on gradually, begin in young adulthood, and last a long time.[3][8] Its like a description of my life situation, don't tell anyone, i don't want to be hospitalized...

@Tibor Thanks, i'll watch it this evening. Also she's hot

@Heart of Space I've had similar feelings, but i't probably not very relevant. Love may be our most natural state. I've found such a love/fascination for life itself at times, as if i loved everything. People, but also everyday things, basically everything i gazed upon really filled me with deep love/satisfaction. I remember thinking, "i'm in love, but i don't know with who exactly, it's like i love everything". The fact that people can be mean doesn't matter, you are still watching/loving the miracle of these people's existence. I've also found compassion in the realization of the human condition. Everyone is the same, all these problems and idea's and mental issues i've experienced, everyone is experiencing them. So many people are struggling, mean people perhaps the most of all, it's natural to feel compassion for their suffering and how they are set in their broken ways. Especially if you have found a solution in spirituality and know they will never even consider it, stuck in the dream. Outside appearances may mislead, but most people are suffering in their mental world. Hope you are fine with your troubles, i wish you happiness and success in everything you do! A person who can love his enemies should not deserve trouble. You are wiser than you think.

@Toby You are right, it's why i said, easier said than done. In the end you can't fight trauma, you can't go in there and destroy it with a hammer. It's best to deeply realize it's in the past, and that it has no control anymore over life in the now. Just accept it as a story in the head of something that happened once. Meditation can help realizing this with proper technique. Learning to live in the now, and stop worrying about past/future can also help. Acceptance is the only solution really. You can't change the trauma, you can't forget the trauma, you can't make it a good thing, it just is what it is, a horrible thing that happened one time. The memory of it is here now, it will be here tomorrow, and it will be here in 50years, forever part of us. The only positive thing, is that it's gone, it's not happening now. The memory of the trauma is not the trauma, it is only a memory we tell ourselves repeatedly. Best to just drop the burden and carry on with life, it is the only solution really. But that takes a lot of work to realize. And until we do, the mind will keep revisiting it and placing unjust importance on the story about it, especially if it results in physical behavior without thoughts. I've had a trauma as a child, its nothing truly horrible like violence. I was a wide eyed intelligent child, always paying full attention in class. So i was looking intensely at the teacher, paying full attention as a good student. As she suddenly burst out "Why are you looking at me like that, are you in love with me or something!". The entire class started laughing at me, the teacher joined them, and i felt so ashamed, i could die. I thought i did something wrong, i was like 9, i didn't know. After it, whenever i noticed myself looking at someone, i forced my self to look away. It's a pure body reflex now, ingrained over years of practice. My parents were divorcing that year, so my mom probably never realized the sudden change in me, even today she doesn't know, probably thinks i'm just weird like that. I was like 17, when i realized it was abnormal, when i learned making eye contact is important during presentations. I was baffled at that time, at first i didn't believe it, it's actually required!? It's probably a big reason for all the bullying i underwent too, can you imagine a silent kid, always looking away from everyone in the playground? If i have to make prolonged eye contact today more than 20years later, i'll still flinch and look away most days because of the trauma. Emotionally, it means nothing to me anymore, but i sure wish i could make longer eye contact. It would help my social life and my career, eye contact is an important skill, but I'm getting better every day. Tho I've found nothing to help with the physical component, i have accepted it and am quite happy with life. Depending on how crippling it is, it may be best to search for a therapist. If it's not a life crippling trauma, some meditation and studies about enlightenment and the human mind, may be enough. Just sitting down, closing our eyes, and crossing our legs, does not guarantee anything. There is nothing inherently "healing" about sitting that way. We are then just sitting in a weird position doing nothing. So when people say, will meditating solve x, it's actually an incomplete question. We don't know what @Ryan_047 means with meditation, and it can mean so many things.

I'm not exactly sticking to the format i realize Mine would be getting drunk on various cocktails all evening, forgetting the exact flavors the next morning as i wake up, still a bit drunk. I've long considered myself a buddhist for my beginning years, read many many books on the free http://www.buddhanet.net/ebooks.htm and many books i bought and have long forgotten about. I was mainly a zen buddhist, but i read about all schools. I've dabbed in the occult and called my self a Wiccan, praying to the earth-mother and the moon. Later I read about the occult kabbalah and did complex magical rituals, invoking eh-he-yeh, and calling god my abba. Then for years i thought i was a Taoist, reading everything on it here on the public domain : http://www.sacred-texts.com/tao/index.htm, and buying books on amazon. added: read all the wei wu wei books multiple times. Then i was a student of "the real world" and thought there was nothing at all, but always kept a Buddha statue around tho. Focused entirely on my relationship and my job. This was also my darkest time. Now i suppose i'm into more essential concepts, devoid of "the bullshit", what Leo was saying resonated with me. It is essentially explaining many concepts of Taoism in a western context and to a lesser extent zen. As with Paul, he is amazing. I'm also reading the Power of now. I've noted down some names in this thread, which i'll look up: Alan wats, headles way, Mooji, Osho and especially turds.

There is no childhood trauma now. you are now. the only thing that is real is what you are experiencing now. Reading these words on your screen is all that exists. You are just perception, it's not your trauma. Easier said than done, childhood trauma is truly horrible. I hope you feel well and wish you happiness in life. Mediation is just a tool, in itself it doesn't really guarantee a cure for trauma, it will help you realize what i said and that may be the cure. Meditation on just perception, just being, just what is going on right now, there is already nothing missing now reading this, can be deeply releasing. Watch if you want to learn more about what i said. Leo has a good video. Paul takes it a step deeper, linked in another post here by @jse

one is still identifying with the story of the self becoming enlightened. The most powerful story that can become what defines the self fully.