EmilyCook26

I Fucked up big time! Ive come straight off the self development train . I watched Leos videos on why my ego brings me back to what I know but I cant seem to get back on board!!! I know everything Im doing wrong, trust me I know! Im not meditating regularly, Im snappy and Im deffo not being mindful. In fact Im just a bit of a state! And it goes round and round making me feel bad Im not putting the work in. A huge catch 22. So how do I get back on board? Im 24 weeks pregnant and have two under fours which is probs why Im struggling as its really hard to be grounded when your hormones are crazaaaaay! X

Youll naturally know. And if you dont know, later down the line youll realise you didnt know and correct it. All experiences are good experiences. Good luck on your journey

Im not real am I? I, me. Im just a perception of ideas. My brain hates this. Pulls me back, says Im real. But Im not and I never have been. I am perception of something that was never, ever there. And because of it, Ive been a human being who cannot be. But I created "me" and my personality and my ego based on experiences and perceptions. This is an omg moment for me. Came to me whilst meditating. Im hoping one of you understands what I mean. Im guessing this is the right place.

Ive read a couple of posts on hete re lucid dreaming. Ever since I had my first child four years ago, Ive been able to lucid dream. Its thought to be a hormone that causes it in mums. I usually lucid dream three times a week. Im pregnant with our third child I lucid dream every night. I do every pregnancy. Its like an out of body experience - watching yourself dream. Its odd. So should I be using this somehow??? I havent read much re the spiritual / self development side. Thank you

I noticed this mentioned on this thread and people "lucid dreaming". I lucid dream all the time. Three times a week, much more when Im pregnant (I am pregnant now so nearly every night!) Whats the big deal? And why do you want to lucid dream?

Not at all. Its an outside factor and your happiness comes from within. Its like asking if the sky being blue makes you happy - its pleasent yes, but the sky being blue dosent make you happy

@Dragallur I can only say I know of self from videos. Im in no way self actualised but recently following the video "How To Meditate Deeper" Ive had a minute or so of pure here and now awareness which has been wierd as its never happened before but very peaceful and pleasent at the same time

@Evilwave Heddy shes not dead! I found her under my bed curled up in a shoe. Shes a dwarf hamster and now happily reunited with her sister in the cage and their settling into family life very well Both my children love them

PS. I now have a wonderful sense of calm MOST of the tkme because Im much more accepting that I cant control outside world and situations xxxx

Im not self actualized. BUT I had my first awakening!!!! And wierdly I didnt have it whilst meditating... I had an awakening/realisation. So if you want to meet someone whos neurotic I am ya girl. (lol!) I find myself angry and disappointed etc over small things. Anyway the other day we had an incident. I bought two hamsters for my oldest son and in less than twenty minutes, being completely unexperienced in animals, I lost it! For eighteen hours (woops bad mum alert and yes my four year old was fuming at me!) About twelve hours in, I was pregnant and stressed and hormonal with a rodent running free round my house. And then it occured to me: Why am I so stressed? This is the present moment and no matter what I do, it will not change. All I can do is accept it. The past and the future dont matter. But right now this second, DOES matter. AND additionally what matters is how I accept it. And I did. And after six hours of CALM trying to find my dwarf hamster I did! More than this, the next day my four year old had a fight with his brother over a dinosaur toy. We attachment parent anyway BUT I took Max (4) to the side and said "In a week will you care he took your toy?" "No" he replied. "Can you change what he did?" "No, mummy. I cant." So I told him not to worry. That those statements show what happened wasnt important but it is important we treat eachother with respect here and now! And hes followed those principles since . I just wanted to share with people who understand

Yay got it Thank you! And sorry, wasnt sure where else to ask lol x

Im rank greenhorn I think!. Does this mean I cant give reputation? Also how do I get to higher rankings? Sorry I even struggle with Twitter lol. I only really use FB but cant see on the settings on here where it explains Thank you Actualizers

Oooooo and homemade banana chips and apple chips are lush!! Amazing snack as well as nuts. You can bake but theyre better in a dehydrator

I generally cook for us and the kids so big meals but we do do smoothies alot as the kids dont think its fruit and veg (lol!) I dont know if these are "healthy" but they contain the main food groups in each one and all of it is homecooked and clean eating Spagetti Bolognaise (Make your own sauce! Its literally tomatoes and herbs) Sheppards pie (Err not quite so healthy but if you leave off cheese it is ) Baked potatoes and salad Chilli Con Carne Curry (Like all the rest always your own sauce cus then you can make sure its clean with no preservatives) Baked roast dinner (Basically no oil and no yorkshire puddings - maybe thats a UK thing tho!) Maybe thats not an overally healthy diet, but like Leo said in the video our diet is much much healthier than other peoples.

That we only have one life. Just one. Once its gone, its gone. And if we can be mainly conscience and self aware, you can enjoy the life you lead much much more. And to not take anything for granted good or bad. Its not that deep of an insight lols, but its something I try to do and practice. Especially as I have very small children so Im trying to enjoy every moment with them