Arkandeus

I want to congratulate @zoey101 for her dynamic inquiry, that's the spirit it's definitely not easy to grasp all these different concepts thrown by all these different people, your effort to try and understand is really nice

gradually stress intensifies, joy, anger, sadness, fear,excitement, all our emotions are one jewel what helped me get here is regular meditation, 5 minutes a day,and a willingness to be honest to feel your feelings you have to be honest, as much as you can with yourself and others honesty and meditation, that's my recommendation you seem to have made amazing progress, it will only get better, isn't that exciting

what magnificent growth, you body is guiding you, the fact that your stomach is giving you physical feedback on your beliefs of lack is incredible love and evolution go hand in hand, if you love you evolve

careful with that you run off being a new person outside of their perception,hereby preserving the identity they have of you if you really want to break your chains,be free from your family stay with them, be the real you right in front of their face, and do not care what happens now this is hard, and perhaps before doing that you do need solitude from them first but keep the end goal in mind you cannot break free by running away from a cage, you'll encounter another cage and run again you have to learn how to break free from inside the cage, by breaking the cage from within

when there is stress its super intense, so when I relax, I can really really relax stress is so intense, like a boiling pot of madness, it cannot be ignored, and it guides me properly if I am stressed, I know something is fucked up and needs to change asap, a mental concept or an activity needs to be corrected stress is a hundred times more uncomfortable but at the same it serves it helps me weed out bad activities and mental concepts it now serves its proper function as an emotion

@molosku pickup is pure love work, you are spending your time trying to please women, trying to make them feel good, to make them feel comfortable, to make them pass a good time, to connect with them even if sex is involved, sexuality is spiritual as well what is more spiritual then trying to connect with someone else?if that's a woman so be it I know there a lot of guilt beliefs around sex, these need to be passed by

pickup is legit the hardest thing I have ever done in my life it is pure ego death rejection from girls, public rejection, disgust from women to you, afraid to be killed by other men for approaching girls, men that watch you like hawks, competition the deepest fears come out and are expressed, and beyond it are beautiful experiences and social healing, magical experiences I'm not doing it anymore, it is not part of my path but there's certainly nothing sleazy or unhonorable in pickup it is tough grade spiritual work

for me it felt like I had this volcanic activity inside me, like I was charged with this volatile raging energy, my heart chakra erupting painfully, I felt like an alien predator, the energy was just pure alien wildness

take it easy also if you were lifting weights you'd progress slowly and with attention and care. it's the same with this stuff, don't try to be a monk take time with your progress, I don't know how long you've begun but you should have a plan, dont aim to be hundred percent aware all of the time, take time with progress stay a few weeks on a routine before trying to improve it, that is my personal advice unless you enjoy pushing yourself, joy is always the prime directive

you have an interest in enlightenment, the seed is planted from now on whatever you do you know the truth, your carry this seed inside you like a growing fire you are enlightened, the momentum is there, however small it is it's going to keep going, rising you've done it go do whatever you want to do, be free, every experience that you have will only nourish this fire, meditate or party, whatever it is, this fire will be with you, watching with you you can never lie to yourself, you can never pretend, the truth is there like a diamond, one that is alive this diamond will reflect the truth in any situation of life, any activity, any place, with anyone no matter what you do, you will get closer to enlightenment, so enjoy

very interesting, I stopped all psychedelics as well after my last ayahuasca trip a few months ago. It felt like I was on the edge of reality as I know it, almost slipping out, whatever it was, I knew that it was time to hang up the phone once and for all, at least for the next decade

indeed , that's it, excitement is a great sign it's more then a trickle down effect, you will change the very matter of reality, as your lovely will dawns upon the world, you will automatically be interested in finding out who or what you really are

exactly, it is internal, you are getting this brilliantly as most people who begin to get in touch with this stuff you're not used to taking "inner action" which is actually better called "being" you can do external things with focus on inner development to help you get familiar with inner movement which is why I say Be enlightened and you will become enlightened when you can make yourself believe that you are being enlightened that will trigger an entire range of actions and emotions maybe you will start meditating, or doing yoga,or you will try to smile more at people, or be more honest, it can be even more expression of negative emotion, anything whatever it is, this belief that you are enlightened will trigger action in you it is the complete opposite of trying to do an action that you believe will enlighten you this is the important part, the difference in flow of action, your actions do not flow upwards trying to get somewhere they flow downwards onto the world, expressing the core of who you are, now be enlightened, and create yourself, what it is to be enlightened?have fun with being enlightened, discovering yourself

this is core enlightenment work, you are dealing with your own death it's literally right there, in your own words it's hard but you have to overcome your death, yes this is your life, and this has been your life it already happened, let go of it, this has been your life, this is how your life has been, the deed is already done forgive yourself, forgive life for having been this way, forgive all that is if you can see that you are as much alive as dead right now, your death and your birth being now recognize the element of birth, nothing stays the same, new life always springs from within you, that is who you are everything eventually passes, everything is temporary ,and life is always new, it cannot help but be new that is being alive our cells dance the very truth of enlightenment, they die and they birth constantly, we are our cells,our consciousness is the exact same

by admitting that you worry intensely about this you have made a huge step all fear demands is to be acknowledged, for us to admit our vulnerability, for us to feel our vulnerability once that is done slowly, you will feel less and less fear, freedom once you admit that you fear something, you've beaten it it is no longer hiding, it will slowly roast away to the sun of your consciousness

your mind is already open, for you are asking these questions go back to before you were born, and beyond your death, there is your non-self, it is here now as well, it is containing your self like a baby in the arms of its mother but you're busy being a self right now enlightenment starts by realizing you are enlightened, it is a return, you can only return to a place that is familiar you're not returned yet, that's true,but you will only return by believing you've returned,its pretty much magics unlike the physical world where we take action to gain something in the inner world we gain something, and then the action comes, things work in your reverse be enlightened,and then you will enlighten, be the winner, and then you will win be happy, and you'll become happy love your unpeaceful life, and through love of your entire life both good or bad, you will become the mother holding the baby, the non-self

many thanks! yes , the Ra material changed me forever, real stuff

indeed and good job on that, I do not mean to make light of your efforts. I'll tell you this though, the acceptance of an emotion is closely tied to your perceptio of time in order to accept something fully you have to accept it with your entire life let's say that you feel numb or sad, you have to accept feeling numb and sad for the rest of your life because life is now, there is no future,no time when you accept something happening to you for the rest of your life thats when you accept it now, now is all of your life its tricky psychologically, the earthly mind is not used to this when you envision the rest of your life, of what you believe you will live, you are looking at the entirety of the present moment,there is no future so what you think is the future is happening now that is how your mind stops you from feeling things fully, by dissecting your present moment into past,present, future mind : "this part is the future, so its not happening to us yet, it has nothing to do with now" that space where you envision the rest of your life,the future, or what has happened in your past, is now, it is the rest of your present moment so in order to fully feel something, you have to accept feeling that emotion for the rest of your life, be fine with being sad forever, being numb forever, and to forever have been numb and frustrated, the past as well is now that is what it takes to truly feel and accept an emotion it may very well kill who you are, but you'll be reborn just as our cells die and regenerate

emotions are here to be felt you will only evolve from your emotions by feeling them in order to not care, you have to care very hard first feeling numb? feel the numbness, dwell in it, feel frustrated? feel the frustration let it rage feeling in a seeking mood?seek , seek, seek feel your emotions to exhaustion, its only by intense attachment to outcome, and being disappointed again and again, getting back up chasing,seeking again and being disappointed again....that you exhaust your attachment emotion only those who have truly cared, are allowed to not care anymore

hmm I hear you,I definitely support your endeavors that last part is very interesting, keep accepting, that is very very interesting die to what you believe you still need, to live more then ever

it depends on our definitions of enlightenment, all these gurus and teachers that have praised enlightenment to be a state of bliss and peace will have you believe that 99% of humanity so far have failed their lives, utterly that is their darkness, and that's fine teach what to whom? see failure, be failure enlightenment is both light and dark, the darkness is part of life as much as the light, casting away half of ourselves we come to these silly conclusions we are gods beyond imagination, we can have a miserable life and enjoy the hell out of it,or a life without a single hurdle, this life is but a nanosecond in the breeze of eternal becoming,and yet it is infinitely long "But I dont want to feel negative emotions" what happens now is ok, otherwise it wouldnt happen, you cannot be at ease if you do not accept what happens now I am certainly not in bliss, my negative emotions have gained depths as intensely and vividly as my positive emotions negative emotions start to become an exploration on their own about you being unenlightened or not can you communicate to me how you experience time?how you experience space?how you experience love, failure? as far as I know you could be an enlightened being that enjoys having an ego that struggles to 'enlighten' see the acceptance of darkness is the acceptance of the ego as a playtool how do I know if you're enlightened and you're playing with your ego, or you're not enlightened and you're identified with your ego? there's no telling for me

now I understand your question I do not know anything beyond my own experience, even your questions, your motives and the being that I think that you are Nahm is only my own painting , my own impression of what happens and as I change what I think happened here will change too I can't see beyond my own pencils, I can only know my own enlightenment but as I am travelling through different shades of reality and the so called unenlightened ones can share the same present moment , everyone's individuality blooms, people feel like moving galaxies I only saw so little of who others are, like I was looking through a tiny lens, as I saw so little of myself for me enlightenment is physical at this point, light evolves, structures evolves, time and space warp, organisms are more fleshed out the world enlightens

possibly, I'm not aware of a contradiction myself, I'd provide more light on my perspectives if you mention where you see a contradiction

the activation of magic, the unity, the connection with life, the divinity,the fading away of human death, while dying and coming into life daily just as our cells do,the fading away of time, the ocean of space and now specifically for me enlightenment is comparable to a constant trip of lsd that has qualities of soberness that's what I would describe my life as, everyday is the rediscovering of the human species, the rediscovering of the architecture of a city I've lived in my whole life not one tree, rock or image stays the same for more then one minute, whether its time, space, light, touch the building blocks of reality are in an infinite evolution there is no exclusion of anyone in this enlightenment, everyone shares the same time as me even though a day is 10 times as longer then a year ago, otherwise I wouldnt be able to communicate with anyone everyone shares the same space that is now miles vaster, everyone shares the new human bodies that if I had seen them a year ago Id thought they were alien bodies everyone shares the same voices and scents that are so much more vivid, so much more magical enlightenment cannot be contained into yourself, for it is the entirety of the world, of reality that enlightens @Pluto the fact that everyone can interact with me, even though im living life in an entirely different dimension of time and space, literally, is how I know that everyone understands,its not a matter of opinion,of a mental concept when you'll be so far across realities into the ocean of the present moment, an unimaginable life, almost extra-terrestrial, and everyone is somehow in complete harmony with you like always before, its a hard truth that others are enlightened as you enlighten you will gain insights that defy the very definition of what a human being is, eradicating those people you thought were real, they were merely your ego resting in the understanding of what others are, revealing underneath, the enlightened being in everyone only enlightened being can see enlightened being if you see an ego in someone, you are ego you see your own ego,people are mirrors there is no ego in anyone I see and when I do I know it is my ego what the monkey does, he sees

I completely agree, I'm done with pickup too, I mean that we did pickup for a reason, or we wouldn't have done it. perhaps I was not very clear with my intentions in my post I mean to say that there is value in doing pickup and discovering that pickup is not the way to go there's value in a road that leads to nowhere there's value in doing something that does not work out perhaps seeing how unfitting it is to try to connect with women through pickup , you discovered things about yourself which allowed you to get where you are now