Hi guys, i am new here, i have very big problem. I am sorry for my bad English, i will try to be clear as much as possible. I have watched many of Leo's videos and i have read a lot of articles of this site: www.calmdownmind.com. This site says that the "true" meditation is the non concentrated meditation. The "true" meditation is something called relaxed awareness were you are rooted in the present moment, and you allow yourself to be totally free. This is the type of meditation i do.
The problem is that after 2-3 minutes i start to feel agitated and angry. These feelings last for hours after the session. I know that this is normal in a certain degree but the feelings become more and more intense day after day, i feel scared when i think about my next session. If i "push" myself to continue, i start to have panic attacks. It becomes a nightmare, and then that's it! I give up. There is no way to stand these feelings. The same thing happens with other forms of meditation. What do you think? Is this normal or i do something wrong?
Also i want to tell you that the same situation exactly happens with everything in my life. So the problem is general i think. Exercise, activities etc. Even my best activities make me anxious and soon they become a nightmare.
This time i don't do anything in my life, i am 25 y.o., i have no job, i quit even from my school. I also suffer from social anxiety, i have not even one friend. From the time i wake up until the time i go to bed i feel stressed. I get stressed over everything. I have tried to "force" myself to stop get stressed but i create a lot more stress. I also suffer from OCD and perfectionism. I spent a lot of money to psychologists and nothing. I do meditation because i think this is the starting point for me. Any advice would be helpful.
