Proactive

hey you should add me on league, my ign is qreative. I'm trying to quit the game but i'll probably play during breaks between semesters

He's on the cliff, hovering above darkness as I fall down into it, going farther and farther away from him. I reach my hand out, but I can't reach him He doesn't even notice me. No matter how hard I try to reach for him. Darkness. There is peace down here.

Hi, I am darkness

Ultimately this is your choice you have to make for yourself. If this were me, I would probably not have the baby. You and your girlfriend would have to sacrifice a lot. While your like 22, your friends will be out having fun while you are staying home taking care of the child. You guys are probably not financially stable, so it would be much harder than if you guys waited to get jobs then get children. I'm not a parent btw hehe @The Don I doubt having a baby will take a "small part" of your life if you are loving the child.

I think your doing great ? Inspiring me Maybe one day i'll start approaching girls I have no idea if this'll work in this context, but a little body language thing I was taught in my old job. When greeting them, nod upwards instead of a curt downwards nod will make you seem like somebody they know ?

hope doesn't exist, it just doesn't you are going to die, I'm going to die and nothing will justify your experience.

@Zigzag Idiot I liked it, thanks ?

I think the urge to fap is greater than the fear of death ? have you tried joining in on no nut november?

my opinion isss no-fap is good for increasing levels of energy. I only did it for 30 days in the beginning, I had lots of energy in my lower body, but I had decided to move it upwards. Felt nice, got shit done. Then I felt no energy for a while, drained sorta. Then it came back, but this time there was a lot of energy in my head, and maybe I should've moved that energy downwards. felt too narrow minded, and too focused. I fapped, and everything openned up, it was a insane experience ? Fapping is a way to bring feminine energy into our life. But if we can find other ways of using feminine energy, It's better.

I've been reading a bit of meditations(stoic book). Thought i'd begin my journey toward stoicism. I may end up adapting it. First thing i'd like to announce is that I am basically dead. My time on this earth is going to be short. I am nobody. Nobody is writing this journal. Its just writing on its own I guess ?. What is nobody here to do? Nobody is here to love stuff. Like cats,frogs, boys, grills, and rocks. I do love rocks indeed. In fact; i'm gonna start looking for a rock and color on a face. I will love this rock till he dies. Mhhhhh. Basically this journal is just to remind myself of those 2 things. Who I am What i'm meant to do I also tend to contemplate about shit. So I may put it on here.

Thought i'd actually do my last post for this journal so the reason i'm going off on my own is due to conflicting values with actualized.org my goal isn't to become more conscious, or go deep into spiritual practices. Or be enlightened. The things leo values is not what will help me achieve me goals. By staying so involved in this community, I am unconsciously taking on the same values as it. I just want to create my own value system and such. Why do I do spiritual practices? The present moment is amazing. It's where I want to be. I want to be focused, we do miss a lot of things in the present if we are living elsewhere. DISCONNECTION why? do we despise feeling disconnected? it's just a feeling of emptiness, of dissasociation. It's just a feeling in the heart, and in the mind. Maybe some visuals. There is no reason to run away from disconnection. It will come when you are alone, just like how you will become hungry when you don't eat.

my time has come to an end I was once young like you, eager to learn, full of energy. be grateful while you still have it ughhhh I'm going to try out being a hermit of the internet. Secluded in one-note and other note taking devices. Maybe even something called "paper". Thought i'd try those ancient things out. stop consuming such shallow content. It's time to go deep, really deep. I'm afraid i'm going to suffer. I've suffered a lot in this lifetime. well, idk what else to do. Lets run into the suffering, try to atleast. but it'll be ok, i'll survive. Or I may not, whatever

if I were to take a blank piece of paper to represent all knowledge I know of reality the amount I would know is less than an atom on that piece of paper. it's literally 0%

GOOD JOB ME, I JUST CLEANED MY DISHES! I AM AMAZING

@electroBeam thanks for the reminder even though I try to derive shit by myself I do admit that these videos effect me subconsciously.

even a homeless guy has some shit to be grateful for he gets to watch the sun rise and fall. He gets to breathe in air. why don't I get shit to be grateful for? Why don't I get to be grateful for life when my parents die? when I lose my freedom?

@Raptorsin7 hehe, being homeless ain't that bad.(When I imagine it) help no-one but me. Nobody needs it more.? ???????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????????????

oh wowzas. Leos recent videos are actually prettee guuuud. Love and fear. and death. so if all fears stem from death, and there's no need to be afraid of death because it's already going to happen. Then there's no need to fear anything. Don't let the fear override you. What's the worst that can happen if I fail school. I spend year, upon year, upon year. like 7 years to graduate. Now i'm 100k in debt. Ok? Then this makes me unable to have free time. I spend all my days working at mcdonalds. I get so depressed I can't even hold that job. my parents then continue to work even though they are unable to trying to help me. I have no friends, and am just held up in my room. My parents die early, and i'm left alone with no income. I become homeless and I go on the streets. My health is horrible from staying in the room. I can't see, I have back pain. where was i going with this again? FIND OUT TOMORROW, CUZ I HAVE TO SLEEP AND WORK TMR.

lean into the pressure

Hello.

so i'm a really competitive person. I work so fucking much when there's competition. I do have a lot of confidence when it comes to competition, I was lucky to have been an underdog so many times in my life. People in real life usually underestimate me. Thought i'd use this drive for competition I have. I'm going to see if I can be in competition with myself. With the same drive? I'm going to be better than myself yesterday. I really like this video. This is what my life should be like. It should have dragons and shit. A'ight, i'm going to be better than myself from yesterday. I'm going to be better than I was yesterday. I am going to be so concentrated, I'm going to go so far in the path of mastery.

mb, I have absolutely no idea if your lost or not. I was just assuming you were in the situation as me ?.

god dammit i'm being left out

its just a suggestion, I literally did it for the first time today. May or may not work for you. How long do you sit with it? for as long as you need or want. Can you elaborate on what exactly you're doing, and what happens? so you seem lost. School isn't fun and you don't know why your in school.(just like me). I had a fear that if I accepted that school is not fun, and that I don't enjoy being here and bla bla bla. That I'll end up having to completely change my route and identity. So I just accepted that, and was wiling to confront that fear. So can't really describe it. hehe. Sorry. I just followed what was coming. I focused on the feeling of school being boring, I focused specifically on the subjects. Feel what your feeling, run towards it.If you place your attention on it long enough, you'll usually get an insight onto whatever it is you are looking at. Then look at that thing that is being revealed............ yeah........

@Raptorsin7 have u ever tried just sitting down and just feeling this uncomfortable feeling. Just focus on it. Go deep into it. Focus on the truth of the situation, and listening to it. regardless of fears.